Girlfriend sacked for stealing perfume - how would you feel?

[Andrew Dwyer]

Forgive and forget. All men who have nver done a thing wrong in life stand up ! 
 

I agree



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[georgemandm]

On 23/02/2017 at 9:02 PM, paulsingle said:

The workmate is a lady from Myanmar and is not treated well. My girlfriend regularly bought her food and treated her with respect and compassion that is lacking between most locals and Burmese here.

So yes, the betrayal did hurt.

How can you say betrayal your girlfriend is  thief is she not . 

If I was working in that  Industry and the person I was working with did what your girlfriend did I would give her up as well .

do you have any idea what it is like to leave things laying around in your home or your hotel room and have some one  steal from you , it has happened to me and it dose not feel good.

[Kwasaki]

22 hours ago, giddyup said:

It really doesn't matter much which forum, there's all kinds of crossovers,  but I wondered about your "it's personal" comment because what other forum would be more suitable?

Post on Marriage and divorce forum maybe if he must,  or discuss it with a close friend is better if his that bothered by it..

Certainly not on " Pub " come on man.

 

IMO None,  talk it through with his girlfriend/wife.

I bet she will be really please that he is telling what she did on TV.  

[Kwasaki]

22 hours ago, rogeroc said:

 

The OP is anonymous so it is not invasively personal. I guess quite a few of us have been in a similar position so it is an interesting topic.

Disagree really,  anonymous it maybe but posting in a forum is still not the place to cope with such a matter IMO that's all. 

[giddyup]

15 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

Post on Marriage and divorce forum maybe if he must,  or discuss it with a close friend is better if his that bothered by it..

Certainly not on " Pub " come on man.

 

IMO None,  talk it through with his girlfriend/wife.

I bet she will be really please that he is telling what she did on TV.  

I think you're being a bit pedantic, after all, like many posts on this forum you can't be sure what's true and what's not, and the OP (and his GF) remain completely anonymous so where's the harm. Marriage and Divorce for someone stealing? Don't see any connection there, but he's posted here and that's the end of it.

[Ace of Pop]

After 2 Divorces I can see where Stealing fits in.[emoji23]


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[Rc2702]

On the face of it, it seems petty but I'm wondering what her previous employment history has been like and if maybe she herself may be getting out of working?

[zaZa9]

On 2/24/2017 at 9:36 AM, paulsingle said:

Fair enough.

One day she came home from work very uneasy because a guest was leaving large wads of money on the bedside table. She would never take any money of any amount and was worried for the guest that he should be more careful. 

Would you leave hundreds of pounds lying by the bed in a hotel room and if not why not? 

She was wrong to pinch a few drops of perfume. Her boss was right to dismiss her. I know the goodness in her and I will support her "rehabilitation" until I see any sign of repeat offending.

I read from your post that you would also reluctantly give her a second chance so we agree on that. We differ in how we would support the rehabilitation.

I take on board your comments about expenses going forward.

Yes , I'd be giving someone that I cared about another chance , of course.

Im not trying to suggest you would make out to your gf that she committed some sort of heinous crime - just that you show your displeasure at her disregard for other peoples property that she is actually entrusted to protect , and , by your silence/annoyance  , reinforce the message that shes done the wrong thing and you are seeing  that  it will not happen again.

There was the possibility that the perfume was the property of some wife of a cop or politician or lawyer  , and then who would be footing the bills if the 'victim' had raised merry hell ?

Hopefully the lesson has been learnt.

But there are people who treat others property with sensibility , and some that continually find some mental justification for taking - and for me anyway , I'd be keeping a closer eyes to satisfy myself that this was just a 'one off'...

[rogeroc]

People with different viewpoints on this thread have nearly all been constructive and inoffensive. Nice to see on TV for a change

[Razzler1973]

She 'only took a little bit', I mean, come on. Did she only take a little bit? You're getting her side of the story here. I just sprayed a bit, I just took a bit .. you took stuff from someone's room and this is the only time you know about that she got caught.

 

I wonder why she even told you, better to make something up as to why she left

[paulsingle]

51 minutes ago, Razzler1973 said:

She 'only took a little bit', I mean, come on. Did she only take a little bit? You're getting her side of the story here. I just sprayed a bit, I just took a bit .. you took stuff from someone's room and this is the only time you know about that she got caught.

 

I wonder why she even told you, better to make something up as to why she left

I have three sides to the story. Her employer's, her co-worker's and her own.

They all match.

She did something silly and has rightly paid the price. I believe she has learnt a lesson.

[dbrenn]

The fact that she equipped herself to steal puts a question mark over her character. 

[Gecko123]

On February 26, 2017 at 3:51 PM, paulsingle said:

I have three sides to the story. Her employer's, her co-worker's and her own.

They all match.

Since we've come all this way together in this saga, would you mind telling us how you obtained her employer's and co-worker's side of the story? I must say, that's some pretty impressive investigative work.

 

From my experience, most Thais involved in the events surrounding your girlfriend's dismissal would be extremely reluctant to discuss the matter with an unknown third party, especially a foreigner who comes nosing around out of the blue. The employer would be especially leary due to fear of being sued for slander. Both the employer and co-worker would have fears of potential workplace violence if they said something which angered your girlfriend and she decided to retaliate.

 

I am also curious how you were able to communicate with the Burmese co-worker? I've met people from Myanmar in Thailand before, and while my Thai is advanced,  getting past awkward pleasantries in Thai with Burmese immigrants has usually been difficult because of the 'two non-native speakers' language barrier problem.

 

I'm also curious how your girlfriend reacted when she found out that you wanted to verify her story? 

 

Sorry, but for me, when I read your claim that you had successfully corroborated your girlfriend's story with both her former boss and co-worker, my doubts about your honesty may actually have grown greater than any doubts I harbored about your girlfriend's honesty. Maybe I'm being unfair, but that just didn't pass the smell test for me. I began to wonder if maybe she should be the one dumping you over integrity issues.  

 

In any case, I do hope you two get past this, and things work out.

 

Edited February 28, 2017 by Gecko123

[Rc2702]

On 26/02/2017 at 3:51 PM, paulsingle said:

I have three sides to the story. Her employer's, her co-worker's and her own.

They all match.

She did something silly and has rightly paid the price. I believe she has learnt a lesson.

The fact 3 people have corroborated this story makes it a tad suspect. It's rather parent teacher meetingesque. You sure she wanted to even work at the place?

[catman20]

2 hours ago, dbrenn said:

The fact that she equipped herself to steal puts a question mark over her character. 

isn't that a crime on it own ....................going equipped to steal ? 

[catman20]

On 2/25/2017 at 11:25 AM, Ace of Pop said:

After 2 Divorces I can see where Stealing fits in.


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didnt you learn the once bitten twice shy saying when you was a kid?

[Ace of Pop]

No Fool Like an Old Fool ,but 3rd time lucky.?


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[paulsingle]

I went and met with the hotel boss. There are no hard feelings between him and me.

For the Burmese co-worker, I only have the boss's report of what she told him and my girlfriend's translation of what she told the boss. But all agree on the version of events.

My girlfriend felt sorry for the Burmese girl and I agreed to let her come and help do some cleaning at our house in preparation for a friend coming from UK for a holiday.

My girlfriend liked the Burmese girl and liked to give her food and provide an opportunity to earn a little extra money.

Over the past 2 years I've seen many examples of this sort of kindness from my girlfriend not to mention her selfless devotion to me.

[paulsingle]

3 hours ago, catman20 said:

isn't that a crime on it own ....................going equipped to steal ? 

She has always carried her own little perfume tube for the 2 years I've known her. I don't think she'd been planning this theft all that time.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

On 2/23/2017 at 5:44 PM, Panda13 said:

Jesus preferred the company of thieves, murderers and prostitutes and said "Let he who is without sin, caste the first stone." But hey, he was nowhere near as pious as Thai Visa Dudley Do-rights.

 

Jesus wept

[Dale59]

I'd forget it. Just shows she's human.


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[FruitPudding]

She has proven to her boss that she is untrustworthy and had to be fired.

 

If she can steal a small amount of perfume, she can steal 100 baht.

 

I am not surprised she stole it though. She probably thought, "It's such a small amount, no harm done." Also, Thailand doesn't really have a good police force and because of that I think Thais feel free to do "little things" that are illegal without fear of punishment.

 

Also, the carefree mentality may have played a part aswell, not to mention poor education. Thinking skills are not taught in schools here, just memorization.

 

A friend of mine describes this place as, "a country of adolescents". It's probably not entirely true, but still an interesting perspective.

 

Also, she didn't think she would get caught and punished, but afterwards she felt bad. That is because she felt shame (not neccesarily guilt). You see social conditioning shapes our minds and the social conditioning here doesn't seem to touch on guilt as much as it does shame.

 

So, how would I feel about it? I would feel a little embarrased. That's all really.

 

Would I keep her as my GF? Well, I guess that depends on how large her papayas are and how often she plays hide the cheesebite with me. But if any repeat events were to occur or any other unsavoury shenanigans, I would have to reconsider my judgement and start considering other female options.

 

You don't need drama.

 

 

 

 

[Khon Kaen Dave]

I think that the Thai way of thinking is," you can afford this, you can buy new" They dont seem to see it as actual theft,and the actual theft, not being theft, if you get my drift.I know that when my wife's fat,lazy,ignorant daughter comes over with her Thin,tall,girly boyfriend, who spends all the time, sitting on his motor bike seat, picking his spots and his nose. And this lackluster,lazy,do nothing, character has the name 'Dream' yeah, i know, i cant help laughing either, we have to lock the fridge.If we don't, she actually steals food from it. I have to put all my ciggies,whiskey, and beer in the spare room, until she is gone. She stole my mouse once, a brand new one.When her computer broke, and she was pissed that i wasn't going to buy her a new one, she  complained that she didn't like the colour of mine,but she took it anyway, because, "felang can buy new"I have had to put a new fridge in the spare room to house the stuff i want to keep.She conned 2000 baht out of her mother by telling her that a new light bulb for her bike had to be a special type and she had to have it professionally fitted.Theft does not enter the Thai mind, its not a crime, it isn't wrong, and they are entitled to do it anyway.

What really pissed her off though was (the revenge of the felang) my wife loves milk, so when one of the cartons was half empty, i put vinegar in it and watched her drink it.And the other time was i left an old ATM card on the table with a made up pin number,written on a piece of paper next to it. Of course when they left, so was the card and number. I would have loved to have seen her face when the machine kept it, or spat it out.

Yes! i know this is all very childish and as an adult i shouldnt play these games, but you know what? i love doing it.

Edited April 15, 2017 by Khon Kaen Dave
spelling

[Dumbastheycome]

6 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

I think that the Thai way of thinking is," you can afford this, you can buy new" They dont seem to see it as actual theft,and the actual theft, not being theft, if you get my drift.I know that when my wife's fat,lazy,ignorant daughter comes over with her Thin,tall,girly boyfriend, who spends all the time, sitting on his motor bike seat, picking his spots and his nose. And this lackluster,lazy,do nothing, character has the name 'Dream' yeah, i know, i cant help laughing either, we have to lock the fridge.If we don't, she actually steals food from it. I have to put all my ciggies,whiskey, and beer in the spare room, until she is gone. She stole my mouse once, a brand new one.When her computer broke, and she was pissed that i wasn't going to buy her a new one, she  complained that she didn't like the colour of mine,but she took it anyway, because, "felang can buy new"I have had to put a new fridge in the spare room to house the stuff i want to keep.She conned 2000 baht out of her mother by telling her that a new light bulb for her bike had to be a special type and she had to have it professionally fitted.Theft does not enter the Thai mind, its not a crime, it isn't wrong, and they are entitled to do it anyway.

What really pissed her off though was (the revenge of the felang) my wife loves milk, so when one of the cartons was half empty, i put vinegar in it and watched her drink it.And the other time was i left an old ATM card on the table with a made up pin number,written on a piece of paper next to it. Of course when they left, so was the card and number. I would have loved to have seen her face when the machine kept it, or spat it out.

Yes! i know this is all very childish and as an adult i shouldnt play these games, but you know what? i love doing it.

Amazing. So  familiar. I enjoy  entrapment too !  

[Khon Kaen Dave]

2 minutes ago, Dumbastheycome said:

Amazing. So  familiar. I enjoy  entrapment too !  

Hi Dummer's

Sometime we should swap ploy's. I am going to try the red hot, straight off the gas, Ten Baht coin soon.

[FruitPudding]

4 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

Hi Dummer's

Sometime we should swap ploy's. I am going to try the red hot, straight off the gas, Ten Baht coin soon.

You should print out a 1000 baht note and leave it out for ger to steal.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

I dont know what you would call this, because Ive never known my wife to tell me outright lies.But tonight she went to bed with a splitting head ache and the right hump because she had a row with her sister.

Me.. Did you feed the dogs tonight?

Her...Yes

Me....Did you feed the cats?

Her....yes.

Me What did you give them?

Her what?

Me what did you give them?

Her.. I give them biscuits nignoi.

Me. Just biscuits.

Her Yes.

Me Did you actually give them dog and cat food mixed in with the biscuits?

Her No!

Me.. because Ive got two dogs and two cats looking at me like they are starving

          so, did you feed the dogs and cats?

Her yes and no

I chose to take it no further.

 

 

 

 

[Khon Kaen Dave]

10 minutes ago, FruitPudding said:

You should print out a 1000 baht note and leave it out for ger to steal.

Thats a great one,Ive got a colour printer.I didn't think of that.Thank youFruit.

[Dumbastheycome]

22 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Dave said:

Hi Dummer's

Sometime we should swap ploy's. I am going to try the red hot, straight off the gas, Ten Baht coin soon.

LMAO !

[Khon Kaen Dave]

This! all over a drop/or two of perfume. The next thing we know,Edgar Lustgarten will be exhumed to settle it.Anyone remember the Edgar Lustgarten show?