Girlfriend sacked for stealing perfume - how would you feel?

[csabo]

Honor is what you do when people aren't looking.

[Jingthing]

I understand why the hotel had to can her.

But I'm not convinced that the perfume gambit is evidence that she had before or would later commit a major crime there. 

A worker that has never done anything might come across expensive jewels and be more likely to lift it than her. 

Very few people are pure evil or pure good, and that includes everyone reading this. 

 

[ResandePohm]

6 minutes ago, Jingthing said:

Question for the morality purists.

Did you work in an office?

Did you never take home any office supplies? Like a paper clip or something?

I understand she had to be fired but it wasn't for the snitch and she was only doing petty stuff, no big problem.

I admit I have taken a paper clip home. Won't admit to more in this setting. A cheap pencil? Don't ask, don't tell. Did taking a paper clip mean I was more likely to embezzle millions of dollars? I actually don't think so. Such a person would be planning their big play not taking home a paper clip. 

Going further in this case, going to so much trouble to take such a small amount shows a certain respect to the so called victims. I realize many people think in black and white but her care to do so little damage might possibly mean she is LESS likely than a typical person to commit a serious crime. 

Just because you and others may have stolen paperclips from employers does not make what she did ok. What if the customer had complained about the theft and the colleague got the blame. Would she have stepped in and taken the wrap? I doubt it. The work colleague behaved absolutely correctly. Not a snitch but an honest and loyal employee.

[Jingthing]

Yes I can see that part of the motivation for snitching was possibly self protection. I think the best response would have been, I'm not comfortable with your behavior and never do it when we're working together. Like a warning. 

[giddyup]

4 minutes ago, Jingthing said:

I understand why the hotel had to can her.

But I'm not convinced that the perfume gambit is evidence that she had before or would later commit a major crime there. 

A worker that has never done anything might come across expensive jewels and be more likely to lift it than her. 

Very few people are pure evil or pure good, and that includes everyone reading this. 

 

She probably thought something like stealing a small amount of perfume would go unnoticed whereas bigger items would be missed. If you left 500 baht in small notes and change on your dresser would you miss 20 or 30 baht? Do that in a few rooms every day and it would be a nice supplement to your salary. Did she? Who knows.

[Panda13]

Does your forgiveness extend to those who steal from you?

Matter of fact it does and has. I don't "possess": anything, cause man is born alone, dies alone and everything in between is on loan.

[Jingthing]

I reckon the employer would have been happier if this petty theft was never reported as because it was reported, he had little choice but to respond.So he lost a probably good worker and had to deal with unpleasantness.

[giddyup]

11 minutes ago, Panda13 said:

Matter of fact it does and has. I don't "possess": anything, cause man is born alone, dies alone and everything in between is on loan.

Well we all can't be  ascetics (or paupers), don't know which category you fall into. I assume you wear clothes in public, have money to pay for food and the wherewithal to support yourself, obviously either have  computer or access to one, so do you really have nothing? Or perhaps you live in a cave with wi-fi?

[giddyup]

1 minute ago, Jingthing said:

I reckon the employer would have been happier if this petty theft was never reported as because it was reported, he had little choice but to respond.So he lost a probably good worker and had to deal with unpleasantness.

Which he wouldn't have had to do if she hadn't stolen in the first place. She brought it on herself, no way to say otherwise.

[ResandePohm]

1 minute ago, Jingthing said:

I reckon the employer would have been happier if this petty theft was never reported as because it was reported, he had little choice but to respond.So he lost a probably good worker and had to deal with unpleasantness.

Getting rid of a dishonest employee is only good for a business. The means by which it came to the employers attention is totally irrelevant. As an employer I was always interested in the honesty and integrity of my employees.I can see you have never been an employer because if you accept petty theft the way you stated your business would not survive very long.

[rijb]

Stealing is not a big deal for Thais.  I hate it.  But, TIT.

[ThailandLOS]

6 hours ago, paulsingle said:

She has proved to be extremely honest

This part doesn't really compute - does it?

 

The part about her not wanting to spend money does however...

[Jingthing]

Getting rid of a dishonest employee is only good for a business. The means by which it came to the employers attention is totally irrelevant. As an employer I was always interested in the honesty and integrity of my employees.I can see you have never been an employer because if you accept petty theft the way you stated your business would not survive very long.

I would have fired her too. The employer had little choice in that situation. Impossible for a more discreet response as the reporting worker would tell all staff what happened and there would be bad feelings between the two workers.

[ResandePohm]

6 minutes ago, Jingthing said:

I would have fired her too. The employer had little choice in that situation. Impossible for a more discreet response as the reporting worker would tell all staff what happened and there would be bad feelings between the two workers.

If she had not reported the theft and I found out later i would have fired them both. One for the theft and the other for disloyalty in not informing me

[paulsingle]

22 minutes ago, ResandePohm said:

Getting rid of a dishonest employee is only good for a business. The means by which it came to the employers attention is totally irrelevant. As an employer I was always interested in the honesty and integrity of my employees.I can see you have never been an employer because if you accept petty theft the way you stated your business would not survive very long.

My invitation to comment was aimed at how you might feel as the partner of the perpetrator of this petty theft. The employer had the right to dismiss her.

 

In the UK there is petty theft going on daily in many workplaces and if someone's girlfriend was sacked for an incident like this I don't believe she would receive the same level of condemnation from her countryfolk as my girlfriend is receiving in this forum.

I'm not complaining. I invited comment and read with interest.

 

I just wonder if there is any bias because she is not a westerner.

[paulsingle]

24 minutes ago, rijb said:

Stealing is not a big deal for Thais.  I hate it.  But, TIT.

You are suggesting Thai people are thieves.

My experience is not vast but having been burgled and robbed a few times in Europe, Thailand is leading in the safety and honesty experience I have so far.

[Jingthing]

If she had not reported the theft and I found out later i would have fired them both. One for the theft and the other for disloyalty in not informing me

You wouldn't ever have known so academic.

[ResandePohm]

9 minutes ago, paulsingle said:

My invitation to comment was aimed at how you might feel as the partner of the perpetrator of this petty theft. The employer had the right to dismiss her.

 

In the UK there is petty theft going on daily in many workplaces and if someone's girlfriend was sacked for an incident like this I don't believe she would receive the same level of condemnation from her countryfolk as my girlfriend is receiving in this forum.

I'm not complaining. I invited comment and read with interest.

 

I just wonder if there is any bias because she is not a westerner.

paulsingle I accept your comments and i can only say from my own experience.

My exwife (Chinese not Thai) was very light fingered and would come home with all manner of things that i suspected were not paid for. Even after she stole from my bank account I decided to stay with her as she promised never to do it again. However after she did it a second time I divorced her. So how you handle it is your choice. If you decide to stay with her, do it with your eyes open just ensure you are not duped as I was.

[Grubster]

I have many guys coming and going from my building project and I have never noticed any of my tools gone missing, broken yes but missing no. I can't say that about any building sites I was involved in back home. As for the girl friend I think firm forgiveness is a very strong teacher in most cases.

[rijb]

12 minutes ago, paulsingle said:

You are suggesting Thai people are thieves.

My experience is not vast but having been burgled and robbed a few times in Europe, Thailand is leading in the safety and honesty experience I have so far.

We had a Thai restaurant.  They stole chickens out the back and money out the front.

 

We built 3 houses.  They'll steal good stuff, bad stuff, anything and everything.  They'll even take the fruit off the trees.

 

Don't know anything about European thieves.  I'm sure the Thais would make them look like amateurs.

[samsensam]

27 minutes ago, paulsingle said:

You are suggesting Thai people are thieves.

My experience is not vast but having been burgled and robbed a few times in Europe, Thailand is leading in the safety and honesty experience I have so far.

 

all my thai business owner friends tell me that petty theft by low level employees is rife here

[Grubster]

10 minutes ago, rijb said:

We had a Thai restaurant.  They stole chickens out the back and money out the front.

 

We built 3 houses.  They'll steal good stuff, bad stuff, anything and everything.  They'll even take the fruit off the trees.

 

Don't know anything about European thieves.  I'm sure the Thais would make them look like amateurs.

Wow you better change neighborhoods, I live in the North East and I have seen or heard little of that.

[rijb]

2 minutes ago, Grubster said:

Wow you better change neighborhoods, I live in the North East and I have seen or heard little of that.

I'm talking different locations, different countries.  You won't see or hear anything unless you're very observant.

[daveAustin]

5 hours ago, realenglish1 said:

Everyone has  a slip or 2 This is not a catastrophe 

 

Tell her it was wrong but dont harp on it 

 

I stole candy when I was a kid of 6 

 

Let the first person who has not lied or stolen once in their life step forward 

Guessing she's a bit older than 6 though.  

[Grubster]

5 minutes ago, rijb said:

I'm talking different locations, different countries.  You won't see or hear anything unless you're very observant.

Well I am and I don't see it, all my stuff has been pretty easy to steal and if some was I would caulk it up to my own stupidity for leaving it laying around, but five years here and no theft.

[Jingthing]

 
all my thai business owner friends tell me that petty theft by low level employees is rife here

Cost of doing business.

[ResandePohm]

14 minutes ago, Grubster said:

Wow you better change neighborhoods, I live in the North East and I have seen or heard little of that.

I also live in the NE and have had builders working here for the last 2 months with full access to the house (to use the toilet). They have borrowed my tools but have always asked first and nothing has gone missing or been broken. Theft may be common where you are but it has not been my experience from workers. Although I have had a break-in and a motorcycle stolen but they were professional thieves not workers.

[Grubster]

2 minutes ago, ResandePohm said:

I also live in the NE and have had builders working here for the last 2 months with full access to the house (to use the toilet). They have borrowed my tools but have always asked first and nothing has gone missing or been broken. Theft may be common where you are but it has not been my experience from workers. Although I have had a break-in and a motorcycle stolen but they were professional thieves not workers.

No I said the same as you, I have many coming and going and no tools on materials stolen, but I must say I treat the workers with respect and when you do this they talk about it and I think they really learn to like you so they probably are watching out for us.  I know a guy near me who screams and hollers at any Thai doing anything for him, now he can't get anybody to even look at his needs for any price. My workers just start laughing when I mention that this guy would like them to take a look at something he needs done. It pays to be nice up here for sure.

[rijb]

5 minutes ago, Grubster said:

No I said the same as you, I have many coming and going and no tools on materials stolen, but I must say I treat the workers with respect and when you do this they talk about it and I think they really learn to like you so they probably are watching out for us.  I know a guy near me who screams and hollers at any Thai doing anything for him, now he can't get anybody to even look at his needs for any price. My workers just start laughing when I mention that this guy would like them to take a look at something he needs done. It pays to be nice up here for sure.

Sounds like you got them all figured out.  Good for you.

[bimmerbob]

7 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

"….put about half a teaspoon in her own little perfume bottle.."

 

Sounds pretty crafty, not to mention practiced, to my ear. No need to over-react, but would keep my eyes and ears open.  

 

 

1

Cannot believe such incidents are even being discussed here.........