Widnes Jokes

[gpt]

For those who do not know and possibly care even less, Widnes is a Northern English industrial town on the Costa del Mersey. Rugby League is the main sport played - or should I say attempted to be played. It was a thriving chemical town with many factories there and the associated health hazards. Just behind my house was a stream which took the overflow from one of the factories. You always knew what day it was by the colour of the stream - Monday, orange - Tuesday, turquoise and so on but I digress.

Young boy and girl - country lane - late at night - engaged in very heavy petting. Things were getting very hot, all of a sudden the girl whispered into his ear "You can kiss me where it smells" Quick as a flash, the lad jumps into the driver's seat and drives her to Widnes.

One of our best rugby players of recent times was Jonathan Davies. After a match, he drove home and spotted a burning house. He stopped a saw a women hanging out of a bedroom window with a baby. "Help me, help me" she pleaded. "I'm Jonathan Davies, great rugby player, drop the baby and I will catch it" Reluctantly, she dropped the baby and Jonathan did catch it but he bounced it three times before kicking it down the street!

[Nignoy]

For those who do not know and possibly care even less, Widnes is a Northern English industrial town on the Costa del Mersey. Rugby League is the main sport played - or should I say attempted to be played. It was a thriving chemical town with many factories there and the associated health hazards. Just behind my house was a stream which took the overflow from one of the factories. You always knew what day it was by the colour of the stream - Monday, orange - Tuesday, turquoise and so on but I digress.

Young boy and girl - country lane - late at night - engaged in very heavy petting. Things were getting very hot, all of a sudden the girl whispered into his ear "You can kiss me where it smells" Quick as a flash, the lad jumps into the driver's seat and drives her to Widnes.

One of our best rugby players of recent times was Jonathan Davies. After a match, he drove home and spotted a burning house. He stopped a saw a women hanging out of a bedroom window with a baby. "Help me, help me" she pleaded. "I'm Jonathan Davies, great rugby player, drop the baby and I will catch it" Reluctantly, she dropped the baby and Jonathan did catch it but he bounced it three times before kicking it down the street!

There are so many jokes about the 3W triangle, for our colonial friends, Wigan ,Warrington and Widnes, an area a little bit larger than greater Brisbane !!dumped between Liverpool and manchester flat caps and whippets and Rugby and meat and potato pies, used to be the way of life for the skilled hard workers, who left school at 14 to work in the mills , collieries, and factories of lancashire, only escape was to join the forces or emigrate when you had finished your apprenticeship,The following story is true but funny as well , after returning to warrington from overseas, my brother drove me to widnes for apint in our old local, in the pub carpark 2 street kids ran up, Watch your car for a Quid Mister?? they asked, no thanks was our reply the Alsation on the back seat will do that. With a twinkle in his eye the small boy replied, Can your dog put out Fires as well Mister?? Nignoy

[Martin]

You take me back forty years, to when I had to go from Trawsfynnydd Nuclear to Windscale for the week for a while.

My Bedford CA, with its split windscreen, could belt through that area at 0600 on a Monday morning, but what tedium it was late on Friday afternoon.

That word "apprenticeship" may need explaining for our younger readers.