I hope that its Ok to post this here rather than the health forum, but I find it difficult to talk about and feel more comfortable asking it here.

Erm..Im rather embarrased about this and also a little scared, but having been reading posts in the womens forum for some time, I know there to be plenty of supportive women out there so here goes..

Over the last few months, usually about a week after my period I have been getting a pain which I can only describe as somewhere between mild period pain and constipation. Recently I have also been having some discharge and just yesterday I noticed a very very small fleck of blood in it. At least thats what I assume it was. I can be a bit of a hypochondriac and am swinging between feeling like Im blowing something small up and feeling like I may be putting my head in the sand. Im sure that the obvious answer is to go see a doctor, but Im not really sure what to expect here or who I should go see. Ive never had a smear because my partner (Im gay )went (in England) and found the whole experience mortifying - the nurse asked very intimidating questions and make no secret of her opinions on homosexuality and the test itself was not conducted in as 'gentle' a way as it could have been.

Any comments /advice greatly appreciated.

your lifestyle doesnt enter into it;

u go to a gynie, get a full check plus pap smear; u may need an ultrasound (internal/external) it doesnt hurt, just slightly uncomfortable as are all things having to do with our internal plumbing... but just think about it like that: u are getting your internal plumbing checked out like u check the oil in a car, etc.....a bit of discomfort, and its over. your ; age/past health problems are the only thing that matter...although there is the theory that someone who is sexually active from an early age may need to do PAP smears more frequently. to each country its own regulatios regarding medical coverage and standard check ups...

go to a gynie

sexuality should not come into it. i agree with bina in saying you should go to the gynie. if you are in bkk, you can go to any of the big hospitals and ask for a female doctor if that makes you feel more comfortable. tell the doctor that you are nervous and they SHOULD put you at ease.

sure, its not the most pleasant of things to have to go through, but you will feel SO much better afterwards and once you know what the problem is and the treatment available, you will wonder what you were so worried about.

grit your teeth and do it. it should not be a painful procedure. slightly uncomfortable, but thats about it.

good luck. (this all reminds me that i should go get myself checked too)

Thanks both of you for you comments. I totally agree - lifestyle is not relevant - i only really mentioned it as my partners experience was one of the things putting me off.

Anyway, I already feel a bit more a ease, just for acknowledging ' out loud ' that I was worried and hearing your advice. I guess I'll go see a gynie - I think I already knew thats what I needed to do, just needed a bit of a push maybe. Thanks.

I'm glad you're going to get checked out. Every lady needs regular checkups! I remember the nicest gyn I ever had, who used to run hot water on the steel speculum to warm it up a bit before inserting it.

before i milk my ladies (goats) or do an 'exam' i also warm up my hands, (and clip fingernails)...

poor things its their turn in an other month (150 day pregnancy for them, how fun)...

OT...

reminds me i have to do my plumbing check up also since the iud removal thing...

Hi Scarlet,

As everyone else has said, you do need to see a gynecologist. Aside from a manual exam, they will probably need to do a vaginal ultrasound, which is not as bad as it sounds (no worse than a pelvic exam).

As a health professional I am saddened and ashamed to hear what your partner experienced in the UK. Such behavior is inexcusable and NOT typical of most doctors and nurses, who are trained to be nonjudgemental and tactful. It is sometimes medically necessary to ask about sexual activity, but this should of course be done in an empathetic and non-judgemental manner and confined to what is releveant in treating the patient. If you are here in Thailand I think you'll find that things are much better in that regard. At least in the private hospitals they are very discreet bordering on shy and avoid prying. If anything, in my experience Thai Gynies ask far too few questions and are overly delicate about probing. I was treated once for a cervical infection related to an IUD, they didn't even ask me if I was sexually active or had a symptomatic partner (which they should have!).

Actually from a purely medical point of view lesbian sex is about the safest there is, and you do not have to disclose your sexual orientation if you don't want to. The only point of relevance that you may need to inform the doctor of is that you have not had relations with a man in X number of months/years/whatever.

All of the main hospitals have female OB/gyn available on request. Several of the Thai lady docs I have been to had the charming habit of apologizing ("Excuse me") prior to insertion of speculum or gloved hand. Don't recall the names, unfortunately.

If you are really concerned you might be able to get a recommendation to a gay physician or one with special ties to the gay community via the gay forum. But I don't think your problem has any connection to your sexual orientation.

Anyhow don't delay. You may have an ovarian cyst or other problem that mgith become serious if not treated.

Feel free to PM me if I can be of any help, and good luck

not to hijack the topic, but boo's posts reminds me that i have poly-cystic ovaries. i have never had a problem because of them, but am wondering if they eventually will be? anyone else have them?

not to hijack the topic, but boo's posts reminds me that i have poly-cystic ovaries. i have never had a problem because of them, but am wondering if they eventually will be? anyone else have them?

There is a big difference between polycystic ovaries and polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). I have a cystic tendency but definitely not PCOS; in my younger years I knew when I ovulated nearly every month from the 6-24 hours of sharp pain. Even now, at 54, I still get the occasional cyst and pain. My gyn has assured me it's nothing serious as my cysts always go away with no treatment.

Yes, I also have "functional" ovarian cysts but not (fortunately) polycystic ovarian syndrome.

Girlx, if you actually have PCOS you will have problems with obesity and usually facial hair growth, and possibly future problems fwith fertility if you want to have a baby, and it does need to be treated by an experienced doctor.

If on the other hand you just have functional cysts, it does not need treatment at all (some Thai docs will try to put you on synthetic hormones for them. Happened to me, I went and got a second opinion instead. Not necessary and can cause lots of other problems)

Scarlet: one other thought, didn't occur to me at first coz you said the pain was about a week after your period...but if it is perhaps a littrle longer than a week, or if your cycle is unusually short, then it might just be what is called "Mittleschmirtz", pain due to release of the egg from the ovary at ovulation. Some women don't feel it at all, some feel it a little, some experience paiun so strong they go to an emergency room over it. If it is Mittleschmertz then it would happen 12-16 days before the start of your next period and coincide with a change in cervical mucus (you might notice when you wipe after peeing that there is a clear jelly-like discharge similiar to the white of an uncooked egg) and usually the pain would be to one side or the other rather than in the middle.

Mittleschmerz is harmless but even if it sounds like that is what you have, don't fail to get a check-up to be sure. Besides ruling out more serious causes, all women should get regular check-ups and thin preps (pap smears).

Edited January 7, 200719 yr by Sheryl