The poisonous Brother in Law

[maprao]

Owl How old was Mark? Also I believe by law an autopsy has to be carried out on all foreigners when they die. What the cause of death listed as with the embassy?

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[owl sees all]

10 minutes ago, maprao said:

Owl How old was Mark? Also I believe by law an autopsy has to be carried out on all foreigners when they die. What the cause of death listed as with the embassy?

Mark would have been 58. There was a chap from the Aussie Embassy on his way the day he was cremated Thai style the very next day. Obviously an autospy would not have been a popular idea with the family.

 

I'm not sure that an autospy is law. I don't know the official cause of death but the common word is that he was poisoned.

Edited September 2, 2017 by owl sees all
added more content

[Rc2702]

Just now, owl sees all said:

The quick answer to the question is I think not a lot. Funny enough myself and Ron (his only two friends here for years) were talking about this only yesterday. Mark was not good at listener. I saw his gf with this Thai guy some 2 years earlier and had words with him (Mark). That night he called me and said that "everything was sorted". About 10ish his gf was on the phone to  Mrs Owl. It really had nothing tps do with her and she gave as good as she got. Next day however my favourite cat was dead in the road to our farm. There was other stuff too; much more.

 

I took a more considered view of things after that. Mark was a wealthy guy and had been about Asia for years. I think he just couldn't believe that the lady he so obviously loved could think so little of him. The relation with Jin was also a little strange; enough said.

 

The Thai guy has virtually taken over her property. To be honest I just don't think she can get shot of him now. It's common knowledge amongst the Thais in the villages what happened. But they are not good at coming forward especially when a farang is involved. 

Sounds like some poison where the step daughter was concerned if by enough said you are insinuating a triangle, if that be the case then surely he made his own bed. If I am mistaken I apologise but if I am correct surely that's the main issue for his demise. That could happen anywhere.

[Odysseus123]

10 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

The quick answer to the question is I think not a lot. Funny enough myself and Ron (his only two friends here for years) were talking about this only yesterday. Mark was not good at listener. I saw his gf with this Thai guy some 2 years earlier and had words with him (Mark). That night he called me and said that "everything was sorted". About 10ish his gf was on the phone to  Mrs Owl. It really had nothing tps do with her and she gave as good as she got. Next day however my favourite cat was dead in the road to our farm. There was other stuff too; much more.

 

I took a more considered view of things after that. Mark was a wealthy guy and had been about Asia for years. I think he just couldn't believe that the lady he so obviously loved could think so little of him. The relation with Jin was also a little strange; enough said.

 

The Thai guy has virtually taken over her property. To be honest I just don't think she can get shot of him now. It's common knowledge amongst the Thais in the villages what happened. But they are not good at coming forward especially when a farang is involved. 

Thank you for the courtesy of your reply.

 

Two things..

 

First the foreigner at the other end of the village had his cats poisoned immediately prior to being "crunched"-in fact that was the penultimate message so to speak..

 

Secondly:About privacy..I once spoke to a Dutch guy about the chances of settling in Isaan,listing the pros and cons,but only after he had promised that the conversation would be private-between the two of us.

 

Of course,he went back to the GF and blabbed and my views were plastered all over the relevant social media...

 

There is definitely something in the water..

[owl sees all]

2 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

Sounds like some poison where the step daughter was concerned if by enough said you are insinuating a triangle, if that be the case then surely he made his own bed. If I am mistaken I apologise but if I am correct surely that's the main issue for his demise. That could happen anywhere.

You know Rc, I just don't know. When ever she was there (Jin) she seemed overly friendly. Sitting on his knee or massaging his shoulders. I think Mark was giving her money on the side. She would be 16 now so then about 13/14.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎9‎/‎1‎/‎2017 at 5:44 AM, George FmplesdaCosteedback said:

You tend to forget that all women have a different mind set in the DNA.

It is not about the most handsome mate, the number one requisite is about a provider and best to produce children with.

Getting a good looking guy is a bonus.

But that's just my opinion...

 

 

 

 

 

Not entirely true. They look for the alpha male to inseminate them, but get a beta male to care for them and the cuckoo child. Farang males fit the provider scenario to a T.

That's my opinion from much observation and reading.

 

NB that girls seem to  enjoy shagging as much as any mere male, but soon as the child appears it is all change.

[thaibeachlovers]

5 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

Thank you for the courtesy of your reply.

 

Two things..

 

First the foreigner at the other end of the village had his cats poisoned immediately prior to being "crunched"-in fact that was the penultimate message so to speak..

 

Secondly:About privacy..I once spoke to a Dutch guy about the chances of settling in Isaan,listing the pros and cons,but only after he had promised that the conversation would be private-between the two of us.

 

Of course,he went back to the GF and blabbed and my views were plastered all over the relevant social media...

 

There is definitely something in the water..

Never say anything to a stranger that you don't want other people to know. Especially valid in this unfortunate age.

[owl sees all]

4 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

Of course,he went back to the GF and blabbed and my views were plastered all over the relevant social media...

Yes this is what happened. Mark couldn'd keep his mouth shut when he was on the Margetitas (his favourite tipple). Ron had spoken to him about being careful with food and a few days later, in front of his gf, he blurted out "Who would want to poision me."

 

That was the last time I ever went to his house, although we met up regularly.

[thaibeachlovers]

11 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

"My number one rule.."

 

It is a very good rule-so stick with it!

 

Altho' I have been categorically assured (on TV and other places) that parenting the wife's offspring can be a joyous experience, in practice from what I saw it tended to be an absolute disaster. The little princes and princesses of Isaan had,generally speaking,been spoilt rotten long before the foreigner turned up.

 

I noted with interest that a German doctor shipped his wife's 22 year old bludging son back to Thailand-won't study or work?Back to the Land of Drones...

Been there, done that, got the T shirt. NEVER again.

 

Having said that, I once had a beautiful Thai GF that had the most delightful daughter. Never came to anything, but I often wonder in the quiet of the night as I go to bed alone..............

[Odysseus123]

11 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Never say anything to a stranger that you don't want other people to know. Especially valid in this unfortunate age.

Well...he wasn't  a complete stranger but he was certainly a heavy drinker and I should have known better.

 

It's all very strange but when you come to think about it what with the loneliness and isolation,the fact that "Westerners" are often from different countries...a Brit is not the same as Aussie or a German..Scandinavian..etc and throw in the fact that apart from one's Thai wife (perhaps) one might not use one's native language for days or even weeks and you can understand why blabbing happens.

[rhodie]

I have just caught up on the last 6 or 7 pages and they all point to money. I think we are all too generous to start and then it becomes very difficult to tighten the tap. But if you have not got yourself too deeply in, you can walk away. And as has been said many times, at some point you have to be ready to just walk, or the screw just keeps turning.

I know there are exceptions, but where there is a money pot, or apparent money pot, someone in the chain will always be trying to empty it and placing enormous guilt on anyone standing in the way.

I just hope I can always continue to hold out. 

[Odysseus123]

17 minutes ago, rhodie said:

I have just caught up on the last 6 or 7 pages and they all point to money. I think we are all too generous to start and then it becomes very difficult to tighten the tap. But if you have not got yourself too deeply in, you can walk away. And as has been said many times, at some point you have to be ready to just walk, or the screw just keeps turning.

I know there are exceptions, but where there is a money pot, or apparent money pot, someone in the chain will always be trying to empty it and placing enormous guilt on anyone standing in the way.

I just hope I can always continue to hold out. 

Well said Rhodie.

[Rc2702]

Surely as a westerner trying to live in this country with a native, your chances of making it work are much better if you have a neutral ground.

 

So skip pattaya etc skip the families village and both people get to grips with a new city/area and then you will form a stronger bond perhaps.

 

It's all well and good spouting "but she needs to be family etc "but plenty of thai people live in far flung places for various reasons away from family. My local cha phayom guy is from nong Khai has no affiliation to our city other than his business.

 

 

[George FmplesdaCosteedback]

12 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Not entirely true. They look for the alpha male to inseminate them, but get a beta male to care for them and the cuckoo child. Farang males fit the provider scenario to a T.

That's my opinion from much observation and reading.

 

NB that girls seem to  enjoy shagging as much as any mere male, but soon as the child appears it is all change.

Yes, good observation. I realise that and agree.

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, rhodie said:

I have just caught up on the last 6 or 7 pages and they all point to money. I think we are all too generous to start and then it becomes very difficult to tighten the tap. But if you have not got yourself too deeply in, you can walk away. And as has been said many times, at some point you have to be ready to just walk, or the screw just keeps turning.

I know there are exceptions, but where there is a money pot, or apparent money pot, someone in the chain will always be trying to empty it and placing enormous guilt on anyone standing in the way.

I just hope I can always continue to hold out. 

5 gold stars .

I still wish I could go back to the start and do it differently with the money. I was just too generous because I cared about her and wanted to set her up if I died suddenly. Unfortunately, the sister found out and that was the beginning of the end.

Done differently I think we might still be together.

[Rc2702]

22 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

5 gold stars .

I still wish I could go back to the start and do it differently with the money. I was just too generous because I cared about her and wanted to set her up if I died suddenly. Unfortunately, the sister found out and that was the beginning of the end.

Done differently I think we might still be together.

Nice idea rhodie even if it went to the scrap yard, heart was in the right place and u hope that experience never deters you as if we all started playing that game the world would be full of emotionally detached... robots? Maybe that's what they mean by thailand 4.0 lol

[owl sees all]

59 minutes ago, Rc2702 said:

Nice idea rhodie even if it went to the scrap yard, heart was in the right place and u hope that experience never deters you as if we all started playing that game the world would be full of emotionally detached... robots? Maybe that's what they mean by thailand 4.0 lol

This is a great point. Most of us on this thread have acted with best intentions towards the wife 'the family'. Maybe I've got my English hat on here in saying that I've never deliberately cheated, defrauded or set out to fleece any Thai. I recall leaving a fuel station with more change than I should have had. I went back and gave the guy the 100Bhat. He wasn't happy about it as his boss was watching from the kiosk.

 

With Thai families; if you do what you think is right, and with a good heart, then that's OK; even though we could be the losers.

 

AS Gerry Rafferty sung; It ain't no crime to get it wrong; just get it right the next time.

 

 All westerners thinking of settling in Thailand for the long haul should understand the words. Unfortunately for some there is no "next time."

Edited September 3, 2017 by owl sees all
added more content

[rhodie]

3 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

5 gold stars .

I still wish I could go back to the start and do it differently with the money. I was just too generous because I cared about her and wanted to set her up if I died suddenly. Unfortunately, the sister found out and that was the beginning of the end.

Done differently I think we might still be together.

It really is difficult because our cultures are so different. But we both understand money. Second time around is always so much easier. I know giving more continues the spiral. I am pretty good at sticking to a budget and I am slowly trying to pass that on, but it does seem to take forever. 

[Been there done that]

If married, or simply stay together, with a thai woman, being a normal human being who posesses empathy, compassion and is civilzed, one is likely to be fleeced. By the woman or her familymembers.

So whats the point of being on your guard all time ? This only after knowledge gained and naivety gone ofcourse. 

 

She is not different !

[Rc2702]

Just now, Been there done that said:

If married, or simply stay together, with a thai woman, being a normal human being who posesses empathy, compassion and is civilzed, one is likely to be fleeced. By the woman or her familymembers.

So whats the point of being on your guard all time ? This only after knowledge gained and naivety gone ofcourse. 

 

She is not different !

BtDT - where did you lose you naivety?

 

Where do you practice this emotional detachment mantra?

 

Begin with  P?

 

I'm sure even the most cynical of beings can accept some responsibility for their mistakes. 

 

The way you blame thai culture and society reminds me of the people who blame everyone but themself or at the very least they then go onto say. "My fault was I was too kind or something like that or too naive"

 

As always your words of wisdom contain nothing of note, I'd love it if you had a complete change of mindset as I'm sure you would too and you found some happiness. 

 

That may seem like a long way away but it always will if you continue to tar a whole nation based on your limited experience.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[oldhippy]

27 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

If married, or simply stay together, with a thai woman, being a normal human being who posesses empathy, compassion and is civilzed, one is likely to be fleeced. By the woman or her familymembers.

So whats the point of being on your guard all time ? This only after knowledge gained and naivety gone ofcourse. 

 

She is not different !

Empathy is definitely not part of thainess.

 

[Kadilo]

If married, or simply stay together, with a thai woman, being a normal human being who posesses empathy, compassion and is civilzed, one is likely to be fleeced.
 

So cliched. Can apply to any Western woman.


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[thaibeachlovers]

37 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

If married, or simply stay together, with a thai woman, being a normal human being who posesses empathy, compassion and is civilzed, one is likely to be fleeced. By the woman or her familymembers.

So whats the point of being on your guard all time ? This only after knowledge gained and naivety gone ofcourse. 

 

She is not different !

Marriage makes the difference. Living together implies no commitment to the family, while most of us know that the family will be involved if getting married. Marry the girl, marry her family etc.

If someone just living with the girl wants to make large financial commitments to the family it is entirely down to them, but no necessity to do so.

[sandrabbit]

4 hours ago, oldhippy said:

Empathy is definitely not part of thainess.

sorry disagree mate, I'm only an 8 year resident and have no trouble with bils or family (as I posted near the start), as you know I'm in Rayong with wife from Surin but there are a lot of empathic born & bred local Thais where we live - they'll take the piss out of you in 2 seconds but if you're in trouble they will be there. They wouldn't be able to buy their own land now because of people like me but they're proud funny people with a wicked sense of humour and are really good friends with my wife. we have no crime to speak of with everyone leaving things on the front, if there was crime I think the locals would sort it very quickly. everyone knows every bodies else business here even though we're close to a high Thai tourist area (on weekends and holidays anyway).

[sandrabbit]

 

[totally thaied up]

7 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

 

7 hours ago, Been there done that said:

If married, or simply stay together, with a thai woman, being a normal human being who posesses empathy, compassion and is civilzed, one is likely to be fleeced. By the woman or her familymembers.

So whats the point of being on your guard all time ? This only after knowledge gained and naivety gone ofcourse. 

 

She is not different !

Marriage makes the difference. Living together implies no commitment to the family, while most of us know that the family will be involved if getting married. Marry the girl, marry her family etc.

 

Okay, my MIL is sick. She has diabetes, glaucoma, and kidneys problems, not on the safe side. If I showed you her medication list, you would be surprised even to think she is alive.

 

Yesterday she was in a lot of pain with her eyes. I told the wife I would take her in town to see a private eye doctor. She asked me to go back to bed as I have also been sick. Mum came home several hours later going via the 30 baht system. Then only three weeks back, MIL was having major kidney pain; once again I said we can take her into see a Kidney specialist in town but no, off to the 30 baht system.

 

My wife says she knows her Mum is dying. Told me tonight in fact and said we can do little and has many friends at the local hospital and has told my wife she does not require my help. She has a million baht insurance upon herself upon death and has told me I need not worry about her funeral costs.

 

It is all sorted.

 

My wife currently is insured for health and accident. I pay that, and I am happy to do so. Before I married her, she had her own insurance. She still offered to pay, but I said no. So what happens? Every few months I will see on my bed a present for from her. Might be decent aftershave or something of that ilk. Last time I was looking for an MSI graphics 1050ti card to update my computer. I came home one day to find one installed in my system. Now, this has come from her work money, and I gather, partly from insurance that she now does not pay.

 

So yes, in some cases, marry the girl, marry the family and I have seen it turn into shit. In others cases, it may not be so cut and dried. I paid no sin sod; the family makes enough to feed themselves. They do not want a car as the MIL says she can walk only 3 minutes to the market for her food. My FIL is the same. He is not far off pegging out and also has never asked me for a cent. He goes to the 30 baht hospital when sick, and his range of health problems is worse than his wives. 

 

I have been here for a long time now in Thailand. Seen nasty stuff done and had it in previous times done to me. I am not naive. Like I noted before, this relationship may not last, or it could be gold for me. It is the same with any women but I know, and I have in my younger days experienced the bar scene; you hang around shit long enough, it is going to stick to you. You could also get an educated girl with a shit family, and it is going to stick to you. What I am trying to say in all honesty, everyone is very different, and you cannot box them all in one puddle and tar them with the same brush. And I am saying this of all nationalities. This is my second marriage and I got butchered in my first and you do not think I am gun shy?

 

So she may not be different but then who is NOT different in some ways?

 

Some food for thought guys.

[maprao]

Nice post totally

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[Been there done that]

14 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

BtDT - where did you lose you naivety?

 

Where do you practice this emotional detachment mantra?

 

Begin with  P?

 

I'm sure even the most cynical of beings can accept some responsibility for their mistakes. 

 

The way you blame thai culture and society reminds me of the people who blame everyone but themself or at the very least they then go onto say. "My fault was I was too kind or something like that or too naive"

 

As always your words of wisdom contain nothing of note, I'd love it if you had a complete change of mindset as I'm sure you would too and you found some happiness. 

 

That may seem like a long way away but it always will if you continue to tar a whole nation based on your limited experience.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry mate, i have only read what is written on here. Nothing to laugh about, is it ? 

 

But maybe you see poisonous as something positive 

[Been there done that]

5 hours ago, totally thaied up said:

Okay, my MIL is sick. She has diabetes, glaucoma, and kidneys problems, not on the safe side. If I showed you her medication list, you would be surprised even to think she is alive.

 

Yesterday she was in a lot of pain with her eyes. I told the wife I would take her in town to see a private eye doctor. She asked me to go back to bed as I have also been sick. Mum came home several hours later going via the 30 baht system. Then only three weeks back, MIL was having major kidney pain; once again I said we can take her into see a Kidney specialist in town but no, off to the 30 baht system.

 

My wife says she knows her Mum is dying. Told me tonight in fact and said we can do little and has many friends at the local hospital and has told my wife she does not require my help. She has a million baht insurance upon herself upon death and has told me I need not worry about her funeral costs.

 

It is all sorted.

 

My wife currently is insured for health and accident. I pay that, and I am happy to do so. Before I married her, she had her own insurance. She still offered to pay, but I said no. So what happens? Every few months I will see on my bed a present for from her. Might be decent aftershave or something of that ilk. Last time I was looking for an MSI graphics 1050ti card to update my computer. I came home one day to find one installed in my system. Now, this has come from her work money, and I gather, partly from insurance that she now does not pay.

 

So yes, in some cases, marry the girl, marry the family and I have seen it turn into shit. In others cases, it may not be so cut and dried. I paid no sin sod; the family makes enough to feed themselves. They do not want a car as the MIL says she can walk only 3 minutes to the market for her food. My FIL is the same. He is not far off pegging out and also has never asked me for a cent. He goes to the 30 baht hospital when sick, and his range of health problems is worse than his wives. 

 

I have been here for a long time now in Thailand. Seen nasty stuff done and had it in previous times done to me. I am not naive. Like I noted before, this relationship may not last, or it could be gold for me. It is the same with any women but I know, and I have in my younger days experienced the bar scene; you hang around shit long enough, it is going to stick to you. You could also get an educated girl with a shit family, and it is going to stick to you. What I am trying to say in all honesty, everyone is very different, and you cannot box them all in one puddle and tar them with the same brush. And I am saying this of all nationalities. This is my second marriage and I got butchered in my first and you do not think I am gun shy?

 

So she may not be different but then who is NOT different in some ways?

 

Some food for thought guys.

Nice comment and sincerely hope it stays forever, for you, like this. Good to read something positive.

[Been there done that]

9 hours ago, sandrabbit said:

sorry disagree mate, I'm only an 8 year resident and have no trouble with bils or family (as I posted near the start), as you know I'm in Rayong with wife from Surin but there are a lot of empathic born & bred local Thais where we live - they'll take the piss out of you in 2 seconds but if you're in trouble they will be there. They wouldn't be able to buy their own land now because of people like me but they're proud funny people with a wicked sense of humour and are really good friends with my wife. we have no crime to speak of with everyone leaving things on the front, if there was crime I think the locals would sort it very quickly. everyone knows every bodies else business here even though we're close to a high Thai tourist area (on weekends and holidays anyway).

Nice comment, wait though for the moment you come in conflict with a thai.