The poisonous Brother in Law

[owl sees all]

1 hour ago, YetAnother said:

to me, many ,most or all of the family-associated problems that farang who come here and marry are traceable to 'marry-me-marry-my-family'; our cultures do not have such a concept, so coming in, these starry-eyed farang cannot see or foresee typical issues here, such as the title of this original posting; and to the thai, it is perfectly ok to fleece farang; to them, that is precisely why we are here

This is such a good point.

 

I can relate to four local relationships that went kaput due to the 'family'.

 

Aussie Mark died in very mysterious circumstances (big family involvement).

 

Renn a Danish guy died in a motorcycle accident (in the middle of no-where) when the first on the scene was a policeman who married his newly-freed--up wife just 3 months later.

 

John; English and from our village, passed away in a BKK hospital after suffering from unexpected and severe belly prob's (love tri-angle or love 4-some).

 

And lastly,,, 

 

Mark, from Essex, who is on the verge of divorce becuase his wife was torn between her 'love' for him and her 'loyality' to her ultra, greedy family. Family won!! As they normally do.

 

All 4 have very interesting stories attached. Another place another time perhaps!!

 

Don't know how I havn't joined them!!!!????

 

[jeab1980]

2 hours ago, owl sees all said:

The poisonous Brother in Law has done so well because the posters can see their own predicaments in many of the posts of others. It's 70 pages strong and shows no signs of stopping; because it reflects life for so many in LOS. 

 

It takes a lot of guts to sometimes say that we got it wrong. That we were perhaps seeking something that was unobtainable, that things in LOS are not always rosy for some a lot (maybe most) of the time.

 

 

Very empty words again You give the impression that you are happy in your neo-bhudda life but somehow I doubt it. I think you are seeing our posts reflecting your own life; yes!!?? We are here for you bro'. Just take that fist brave step.

 

Total crap but your full of that sort of posts arnet you. You know nothing of me exept your self formed idiotic opinions. A very very sad sad life you leed indeed. To please the gathering wolves i will leave this drivelling thread to wander off in whatever directions you take it. Got to wonder about some threads are closed down for going so far of topic yet this one seems to be left to morph.

So please carry on with your drivel, back slapping feel good thread LOL.

Free speach and free thoughts indeed on TV NOT.

[owl sees all]

28 minutes ago, jeab1980 said:

Total crap but your full of that sort of posts arnet you. You know nothing of me exept your self formed idiotic opinions. A very very sad sad life you leed indeed. To please the gathering wolves i will leave this drivelling thread to wander off in whatever directions you take it. Got to wonder about some threads are closed down for going so far of topic yet this one seems to be left to morph.

So please carry on with your drivel, back slapping feel good thread LOL.

Free speach and free thoughts indeed on TV NOT.

Sorry to see you go J. Don't feel guilty and not to worry about us. We may be able to manage without you; time will tell.

 

We tried to help you but,,,,,,,,,,

 

The footy threads need some of your thoughtful comment! Try the Liverpool one!!

 

Take care out there dude. 

Edited August 30, 2017 by owl sees all

[Odysseus123]

1 hour ago, owl sees all said:

This is such a good point.

 

I can relate to four local relationships that went kaput due to the 'family'.

 

Aussie Mark died in very mysterious circumstances (big family involvement).

 

Renn a Danish guy died in a motorcycle accident (in the middle of no-where) when the first on the scene was a policeman who married his newly-freed--up wife just 3 months later.

 

John; English and from our village, passed away in a BKK hospital after suffering from unexpected and severe belly prob's (love tri-angle or love 4-some).

 

And lastly,,, 

 

Mark, from Essex, who is on the verge of divorce becuase his wife was torn between her 'love' for him and her 'loyality' to her ultra, greedy family. Family won!! As they normally do.

 

All 4 have very interesting stories attached. Another place another time perhaps!!

 

Don't know how I havn't joined them!!!!????

 

The Wild West ..I wish you would share some of those stories with us.

 

I am glad to see that you are in good health and prospering.

[Spaniel]

5 hours ago, owl sees all said:

This is such a good point.

 

I can relate to four local relationships that went kaput due to the 'family'.

 

Aussie Mark died in very mysterious circumstances (big family involvement).

 

Renn a Danish guy died in a motorcycle accident (in the middle of no-where) when the first on the scene was a policeman who married his newly-freed--up wife just 3 months later.

 

John; English and from our village, passed away in a BKK hospital after suffering from unexpected and severe belly prob's (love tri-angle or love 4-some).

 

And lastly,,, 

 

Mark, from Essex, who is on the verge of divorce becuase his wife was torn between her 'love' for him and her 'loyality' to her ultra, greedy family. Family won!! As they normally do.

 

All 4 have very interesting stories attached. Another place another time perhaps!!

 

Don't know how I havn't joined them!!!!????

 

I would wager the one thing they all had in common was that they married a ex-bar girl or at least someone involved in the sex trade.      

[thaibeachlovers]

6 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

Owl and Thaibeachlovers,

 

The fact is that I carried the seeds of my own near destruction-in terms of my physical health- to Thailand as early as 2011.

 

I should have merely visited at times, enjoyed myself, and returned to my home country.

 

Instead I chose to take one long walk on the wildside without fully appreciating the substantial physical and economic risks involved.Killing oneself in pursuit of a fantasy should not have been on the agenda.

 

Therefore I have to own the problem.It has nothing really to do with Thais or Thailand for,after all,they didn't kidnap me and ship me off there by tramp steamer,did they?

 

Ody Kong.

I don't know your story, but the urge to be with someone is stronger than most of us can resist. I think the ones coming to LOS have been so badly burned by women in their home country that when they first meet women in Thailand that seem to actually like them, they fall under the spell, till they are rudely woken by the reality.

I've never been one to throw money at people, but somehow whenever I was around Thai women all the normal caution seemed to vanish. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

 

I never thought I was walking on the wild side, just enjoying myself immensely in ways I could never have imagined back "home". Then I went and stuffed it up by getting married.

The saddest thing now though, is that I don't remember much of the enjoyable times, just the bad getting worse times with the ex beloved.

[Rc2702]

Just now, Spaniel said:

I would wager the one thing they all had in common was that they married a ex-bar girl or at least someone involved in the sex trade.      

You may be correct but even thai men suffer such fates and not just farmers. Jakkritt the olympian being one such example. I'd like to know more OSA. Seems very odd that 4/5 farangs have met their fates in less than normal circumstances. 

[owl sees all]

7 minutes ago, Spaniel said:

I would wager the one thing they all had in common was that they married a ex-bar girl or at least someone involved in the sex trade.

Absolutely bang on the money there S.

 

I don't want it to sound as though it is an everyday occurance. Only two happened this year.  The other two were in 2015.

Edited August 30, 2017 by owl sees all
added more content

[thaibeachlovers]

4 minutes ago, Spaniel said:

I would wager the one thing they all had in common was that they married a ex-bar girl or at least someone involved in the sex trade.      

Give it a rest!

The worst women I ever met was my ex western partner, the hag from hell, that back stabbed and took me for far more than any other rat bag I ever knew.

She was certainly nothing to do with the sex trade.

[thaibeachlovers]

5 hours ago, owl sees all said:

This is such a good point.

 

I can relate to four local relationships that went kaput due to the 'family'.

 

Aussie Mark died in very mysterious circumstances (big family involvement).

 

Renn a Danish guy died in a motorcycle accident (in the middle of no-where) when the first on the scene was a policeman who married his newly-freed--up wife just 3 months later.

 

John; English and from our village, passed away in a BKK hospital after suffering from unexpected and severe belly prob's (love tri-angle or love 4-some).

 

And lastly,,, 

 

Mark, from Essex, who is on the verge of divorce becuase his wife was torn between her 'love' for him and her 'loyality' to her ultra, greedy family. Family won!! As they normally do.

 

All 4 have very interesting stories attached. Another place another time perhaps!!

 

Don't know how I havn't joined them!!!!????

 

If I had only read all these threads before getting married, I would have told the ex beloved before we got married that I was not going to ever live anywhere near the family.

That seems to be the recurring theme. Farang marries nice Thai girl and the family stuff it up. Certainly happened to me. We were fine till we moved to the village then downward spiral of doom till the end.

BTW, I was seriously concerned for my life before leaving.

[Rc2702]

Just now, owl sees all said:

Absolutely bang on the money there S.

 

I don't want it to sound as though it is an everyday occurance. Only two happened this year.  The other two were in 2015.

So that's the only differential. And 4 over 2 years in such a small town/village? Seems industrial.

[owl sees all]

3 hours ago, Odysseus123 said:

The Wild West ..I wish you would share some of those stories with us.

Not a bad idea. A new post entitled; "True stories from the LOL."

 

Aussie Mark was a shock. A couple of months before his passing he said something like "I want you to have one of my ATM cards. It's got a few baht in it. If anything should happen I want you to see 'Jin' OK."

 

Jin was the youngest daughter from his gf (long term). He told me she was the only one in the family that really cared for him. There was two million baht in the account.

 

I went back to UK for 6 weeks and he died the week before I got back. Very suspious. He was cremated while his son was on his way over from Perth to persuade him to go back. No idea what happened to the ATM card he mentioned. I am still in touch with his son.

 

I pass his beautiful house occasionally. I have to hold back the tears when I do.

 

There is far more but,,,,,,,,, another  thread.

[owl sees all]

Just re-read a few pages. Some sad stuff on this thread.

 

Time to chill with a beer and some live Jazz from one of the most best bands about

 

 

enjoy guys.

Edited August 30, 2017 by owl sees all
added more content

[Been there done that]

2 hours ago, Spaniel said:

I would wager the one thing they all had in common was that they married a ex-bar girl or at least someone involved in the sex trade.      

I sincerely hope that you do not think that it happens exclusively within the families of bargirls. Its the mindset of this countries people. We are only...farang. 

[sandrabbit]

48 minutes ago, owl sees all said:

Just re-read a few pages. Some sad stuff on this thread.

 

Time to chill with a beer and some live Jazz from one of the most best bands about

 

 

enjoy guys.

for you Mr Owl, chill with a Stevie Wonder wonder song ......

 

 

[Spaniel]

3 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Give it a rest!

The worst women I ever met was my ex western partner, the hag from hell, that back stabbed and took me for far more than any other rat bag I ever knew.

She was certainly nothing to do with the sex trade.

I was only referring to the 4 cases mentioned  in the post made by owl sees all,  not every couple on earth.

[totally thaied up]

4 hours ago, Been there done that said:

I sincerely hope that you do not think that it happens exclusively within the families of bargirls. Its the mindset of this countries people. We are only...farang. 

Most dupes I have seen are from the bar or from girls that have been previously bar related. Over ten years, I have seen millions of baht drained from friends and much worse in hurt and corruption of the soul; once again, 95% of these people came from the bar or had some doing/activity with a bar. 

 

'It cannot happen to me'.

'I am too smart for this'.

'She loves me'.

'The family treats me as one of the fold'.

 

Lord, the list goes on and on and on. Wives when getting tired of the husband telling them to take the older sister on as a Mai Noi. Mostly from the bar. Others, if they did not spend money on the bar girl, they would have never stayed. I in the past have been guilty as charged on that count and it cost me money. I learned from that point on. 

 

As for myself, have been in hospital for two days being ultra loved and fussed over by the wife. Had to have a small thing done (gastroscopy). Starting to feel better now and happy to see everyone on this thread doing fine. We all have mucked up somehow, but we are making it to the end of each day. Only to look at Anne Boleyn; she had a messy ending but look at what Elizabeth, her daughter did. We can never be sure of the future; we are going to die, but none of us think it is going to be us that old Grim is looking for. I have made my bed here in Thailand, I have health problems, but I am sure I am going to die of natural causes.

 

I see my fair share of success stories; I have friends married to nurses, doctors, teachers, lawyers, and life is going well for them. My wife is educated, and I am so low-so (well not in education) that I cannot fit into most social groups. That is the only thing I do not like about my current life. Just the Face value of things. I have no value to others both Thai and farang and it is noted and boy, do they know how to 'note' these things well.

 

The other day, a University student came to our home and asked if he could interview me for his school project. So for about 30 minutes, we spoke, and he taped the interview, and his mother was with us. We talked about my life and my education and the such. His English was not too bad. Then at the end of the interview, he got down on his knees and waied to me. I told him not to do that, but he said my education was so high and that he had asked five other farangs in the village if he could interview them for his project and they all said NO to him as they were too busy to talk to him. Our village is small and he told me he felt so bad each time he tried and was told no. It is a pretty easy way to sow seeds into a young mind us farangs have no time for the younger generation that is trying to get ahead.

 

 

Edited August 30, 2017 by totally thaied up

[Rc2702]

1 hour ago, totally thaied up said:

Most dupes I have seen are from the bar or from girls that have been previously bar related. Over ten years, I have seen millions of baht drained from friends and much worse in hurt and corruption of the soul; once again, 95% of these people came from the bar or had some doing/activity with a bar. 

 

'It cannot happen to me'.

'I am too smart for this'.

'She loves me'.

'The family treats me as one of the fold'.

 

Lord, the list goes on and on and on. Wives when getting tired of the husband telling them to take the older sister on as a Mai Noi. Mostly from the bar. Others, if they did not spend money on the bar girl, they would have never stayed. I in the past have been guilty as charged on that count and it cost me money. I learned from that point on. 

 

As for myself, have been in hospital for two days being ultra loved and fussed over by the wife. Had to have a small thing done (gastroscopy). Starting to feel better now and happy to see everyone on this thread doing fine. We all have mucked up somehow, but we are making it to the end of each day. Only to look at Anne Boleyn; she had a messy ending but look at what Elizabeth, her daughter did. We can never be sure of the future; we are going to die, but none of us think it is going to be us that old Grim is looking for. I have made my bed here in Thailand, I have health problems, but I am sure I am going to die of natural causes.

 

I see my fair share of success stories; I have friends married to nurses, doctors, teachers, lawyers, and life is going well for them. My wife is educated, and I am so low-so (well not in education) that I cannot fit into most social groups. That is the only thing I do not like about my current life. Just the Face value of things. I have no value to others both Thai and farang and it is noted and boy, do they know how to 'note' these things well.

 

The other day, a University student came to our home and asked if he could interview me for his school project. So for about 30 minutes, we spoke, and he taped the interview, and his mother was with us. We talked about my life and my education and the such. His English was not too bad. Then at the end of the interview, he got down on his knees and waied to me. I told him not to do that, but he said my education was so high and that he had asked five other farangs in the village if he could interview them for his project and they all said NO to him as they were too busy to talk to him. Our village is small and he told me he felt so bad each time he tried and was told no. It is a pretty easy way to sow seeds into a young mind us farangs have no time for the younger generation that is trying to get ahead.

 

 

Fair play for giving him the time but I hope he sees the value in never giving up and to keep trying as on his 6th attempt he got a yes and learning how to deal with rejection is an invaluable skill.

[George FmplesdaCosteedback]

17 hours ago, LannaGuy said:

Shut it and start another? 

Trouble is it will not end the problem as he hasn't broken the rules and will just pop up again even after a flush!

He just seems intent on destroying the thread.

Beachy, Owl, Sunset, yourself and others have said more or less what I was thinking: Ignore the ignorant.

Sorry I got dragged into it, but I have now taken steps to rid my personal part of the thread of the problem.

 

Isn't a shame we are even having to discuss it?

That is a last word on this subject from me.

 

G

 

 

 

 

 

 

[George FmplesdaCosteedback]

8 hours ago, owl sees all said:

Just re-read a few pages. Some sad stuff on this thread.

 

Time to chill with a beer and some live Jazz from one of the most best bands about

 

 

enjoy guys.

Terrific! Cross of 40s swing and B52s.

I'll be watching them again.

 

[Odysseus123]

11 hours ago, Spaniel said:

I would wager the one thing they all had in common was that they married a ex-bar girl or at least someone involved in the sex trade.      

Spaniel,

 

I think that your's is a very good observation.I would say that in my area it was about 70% but of these all the wives were displaying a "boom or bust" form of behaviour-live high on the hog,distributing the largesse to the family and/ friends and moving on if the money dried up.

 

"Corruption of the soul"?Yes indeed:I witnessed the effects of that form of behaviour on foreigners and it could be quite devastating usually leading to withdrawal,increasing isolation and alienation and,in some cases,alcoholism.

Edited August 30, 2017 by Odysseus123
spelling

[oldhippy]

Obviously, to marry a prostitute who is extra schooled in the art of deceit does not improve the odds of a successful mariage...

I did not marry a bar girl, and yet experience the same problems - albeit on a much lower scale than other posters.

 

Part of the problem are the unrealistic expectations of our Thai wives who think we are soooooooooo rich. Even if they understand that we are not so rich, they will not be able to convince their family of this / they will not try to convince them, as face is involved.

And of course farang expectations of romantic eternal love are just as irrealistic.

 

Furtermore, Thais usually have no savings (other than land) and no social security system, so when they genuinely need money (accident, funeral, bussines) they will expect money from the "rich" farang. They will resent us if we "don't take care" of them.

 

Add to that, no planning for the future, the paternalist culture, face, lack of education, a religion based on monks, the concept of "getting lucky", that few Thais raise above.

 

I do not think that most Thais have bad intentions.

It is all rather a big cultural misunderstanding + snowball effect.

But the results are the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[luk AJ]

Obviously, to marry a prostitute who is extra schooled in the art of deceit does not improve the odds of a successful mariage...
I did not marry a bar girl, and yet experience the same problems - albeit on a much lower scale than other posters.
 
Part of the problem are the unrealistic expectations of our Thai wives who think we are soooooooooo rich. Even if they understand that we are not so rich, they will not be able to convince their family of this / they will not try to convince them, as face is involved.
And of course farang expectations of romantic eternal love are just as irrealistic.
 
Furtermore, Thais usually have no savings (other than land) and no social security system, so when they genuinely need money (accident, funeral, bussines) they will expect money from the "rich" farang. They will resent us if we "don't take care" of them.
 
Add to that, no planning for the future, the paternalist culture, face, lack of education, a religion based on monks, the concept of "getting lucky", that few Thais raise above.
 
I do not think that most Thais have bad intentions.
It is all rather a big cultural misunderstanding + snowball effect.
But the results are the same.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

I live(not married) together with an ex-bargirl for the last 17y. A bargirl can be a poor Isaan girl like mine without education ( she is the oldest and she had to take care of brother and sister). She was (is) pretty so this was her only way out. Bargirls can also be students looking for some extra cash...
You can also find a nice girl on Tinder or other dating sites, maybe they don't work in a bar but basically they persue the same goals and they also use their body as attractant. But apparently according to most TV members, bargirls are the worsed bloodsuckers of all.
I admit, in behavior, mine is no different from other stories on this topic, she does put her family first, But she is smart and uses the vampire method, you don't feel the bite and the drain will not kill.
However there is some kind of weird balance that keeps this relation going, she can be very sweet and kind and I have the choice to live with her or not (no children). I guess the ability to break-up whenever we want is probably what is holding us together.
I live over 20y in Thailand and I can only confirm other poster's comments that most girls who have cash strapped family will make it their goal to help them in any way they can and a "rich" boyfriend or husband is the shortest and fastest way to achieve this. So I do believe that a marriage or relation where the GF is financially independent will increase the chance of a longer lasting relation. But not so much an option for old buggers like me..


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[oldhippy]

I am happy for you LukAJ.

You found a gem.

 

And as you say "" the ability to break-up whenever we want is probably what is holding us together"" - a good suggestion to others: don't get officially married, do only the monk thing (or nothing at all).

For those over 40, having children (again) is also not a good idea. Neither is investing all your money in Thailand.

 

To most farangs freedom - emotionally and financially - is a basic need.

It is an essential part of our culture.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Been there done that]

10 minutes ago, oldhippy said:

I am happy for you LukAJ.

You found a gem.

 

And as you say "" the ability to break-up whenever we want is probably what is holding us together"" - a good suggestion to others: don't get officially married, do only the monk thing (or nothing at all).

For those over 40, having children (again) is also not a good idea. Neither is investing all your money in Thailand.

 

To most farangs freedom - emotionally and financially - is a basic need.

It is an essential part of our culture.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your last 2 sentences, you are incorrect about the "emotional" part. I wager that nearly all who got burnt, they were not in check of their emotions. This applies too for many who claim to be in a happy relationship. No way out. Have seen and heard it from many foreigners but later they said, when due to several incidents, should have left way earlier.

 

For me i need to stay strong to stick at play, pay, optional, as i go. Soulmates are extremely difficult to "find" overhere.

[Been there done that]

2 hours ago, oldhippy said:

Obviously, to marry a prostitute who is extra schooled in the art of deceit does not improve the odds of a successful mariage...

I did not marry a bar girl, and yet experience the same problems - albeit on a much lower scale than other posters.

 

Part of the problem are the unrealistic expectations of our Thai wives who think we are soooooooooo rich. Even if they understand that we are not so rich, they will not be able to convince their family of this / they will not try to convince them, as face is involved.

And of course farang expectations of romantic eternal love are just as irrealistic.

 

Furtermore, Thais usually have no savings (other than land) and no social security system, so when they genuinely need money (accident, funeral, bussines) they will expect money from the "rich" farang. They will resent us if we "don't take care" of them.

 

Add to that, no planning for the future, the paternalist culture, face, lack of education, a religion based on monks, the concept of "getting lucky", that few Thais raise above.

 

I do not think that most Thais have bad intentions.

It is all rather a big cultural misunderstanding + snowball effect.

But the results are the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cultural misunderstanding, yeah right, make even allowances for bad/evil behaviour under that guise. Thais damn well know the difference between good and bad. 

[Odysseus123]

2 hours ago, oldhippy said:

Obviously, to marry a prostitute who is extra schooled in the art of deceit does not improve the odds of a successful mariage...

I did not marry a bar girl, and yet experience the same problems - albeit on a much lower scale than other posters.

 

Part of the problem are the unrealistic expectations of our Thai wives who think we are soooooooooo rich. Even if they understand that we are not so rich, they will not be able to convince their family of this / they will not try to convince them, as face is involved.

And of course farang expectations of romantic eternal love are just as irrealistic.

 

Furtermore, Thais usually have no savings (other than land) and no social security system, so when they genuinely need money (accident, funeral, bussines) they will expect money from the "rich" farang. They will resent us if we "don't take care" of them.

 

Add to that, no planning for the future, the paternalist culture, face, lack of education, a religion based on monks, the concept of "getting lucky", that few Thais raise above.

 

I do not think that most Thais have bad intentions.

It is all rather a big cultural misunderstanding + snowball effect.

But the results are the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spot on!

 

An excellent analysis of the existing cultural clash.

 

 

You are also quite correct about it being a "no fault" situation-more of who reverts first to the "default" cultural setting and what happens after that....

[thaibeachlovers]

9 hours ago, luk AJ said:

I live(not married) together with an ex-bargirl for the last 17y. A bargirl can be a poor Isaan girl like mine without education ( she is the oldest and she had to take care of brother and sister). She was (is) pretty so this was her only way out. Bargirls can also be students looking for some extra cash...
You can also find a nice girl on Tinder or other dating sites, maybe they don't work in a bar but basically they persue the same goals and they also use their body as attractant. But apparently according to most TV members, bargirls are the worsed bloodsuckers of all.
I admit, in behavior, mine is no different from other stories on this topic, she does put her family first, But she is smart and uses the vampire method, you don't feel the bite and the drain will not kill.
However there is some kind of weird balance that keeps this relation going, she can be very sweet and kind and I have the choice to live with her or not (no children). I guess the ability to break-up whenever we want is probably what is holding us together.
I live over 20y in Thailand and I can only confirm other poster's comments that most girls who have cash strapped family will make it their goal to help them in any way they can and a "rich" boyfriend or husband is the shortest and fastest way to achieve this. So I do believe that a marriage or relation where the GF is financially independent will increase the chance of a longer lasting relation. But not so much an option for old buggers like me..


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

You used the only weapon that farangs have, and that is not to get married, so they know that the ATM can walk away at any time.

My troubles only happened after we got married.

If I could go back in time it'd be a village wedding, so legally meaningless. She'd keep her "face", but know not to pull any BS.

[luk AJ]

You used the only weapon that farangs have, and that is not to get married, so they know that the ATM can walk away at any time.
My troubles only happened after we got married.
If I could go back in time it'd be a village wedding, so legally meaningless. She'd keep her "face", but know not to pull any BS.

I do think there could be another weapon sort of speak, married or not, I will always make sure I can walk away and leave all my possessions behind. Many farang want to fight for their share and this could literally cost them their life. If you can't do that you are trapped.


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[totally thaied up]

9 hours ago, oldhippy said:

And as you say "" the ability to break-up whenever we want is probably what is holding us together"" - a good suggestion to others: don't get officially married, do only the monk thing (or nothing at all).

I thought deeply about this.

 

Before we got married, we sat down over a period of months, and we had good talks. Most say do not show all your eggs to them, but when you do not have many eggs to start with, my wife whom is an educated person saw what she was walking into with me, and it was not much better than say a  small Thai business person with average earnings.

 

She could pull no BS, and most likely, it was not in her best interests to even marry me. The only thing I did was do some work on her house and compared to what I was spending before going out all the time as a single man and playing the field; I am now saving money. The money I have spent on her house to make it farang livable was just six months of money spent me being single. I have well paid it back now in just not paying rent on a Condo!

 

Can this relationship work?

 

Lord only knows. She does know I come from a wealthy family but knows that it is so tied up in law and Trusts and the such, she can and will never have any form of say in it. Upon my families death, I will have to deal with it all but like I stated in another post a long time ago, I do not want to even think about that as money has only caused me trouble. 

 

38 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

You used the only weapon that farangs have, and that is not to get married, so they know that the ATM can walk away at any time.

You still can walk away. Nothing holds you. Just got to be prepared to lose. I have done it before; it hurts, but then, my life now is certainly much better. The only big stick I have in my shed is I have nothing to give or lose. I know the reason my wife stays and why she says she loves me. It is deeply personal and goes back to a motorcycle accident she had at 17.

 

49 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

If I could go back in time it'd be a village wedding, so legally meaningless. She'd keep her "face", but know not to pull any BS.

I know farangs married village style, and the family still stuffs them over. I feel it is more they have us on the hook and like one poster above said, it is like a vampire knowing NOT to suck you dry. It is a perfected art form. I know one guy now whose family sent the girl (village married) back to him a few months ago from Issan (after a fight) and she hates the guy but is just following orders from the Mother. The Mother said she was no use at home to them gambling and playing cards all night with her friends, so put her on the bus and that was it.

 

So yep, can still not be married, but village married and have the above BS as well. Yes, you can just walk from it but I have seen so many not take that step, and that is what this thread is about. I could be back here in a year stating I am going back home and my wife was a leech. Who is to say anything as we cannot tell the future but I am sure a few reading this thread may see what is ahead of them and maybe able to forfeit a sad ending.