How Much Sin-sod Did You Pay?

[TAWP]

Yeah, if you are getting married before your first visa run, expect a few surprises.

You write in jest, but a lot of ppl marry before they live here. Heck, to get an non-oa a marrige is kinda required.

[SanukJoe]

Yeah, if you are getting married before your first visa run, expect a few surprises.

You write in jest, but a lot of ppl marry before they live here. Heck, to get an non-oa a marrige is kinda required.

Or be an old fart like me

[SanukJoe]

yes i would. it would have meant that i would have forever thought that i had bought my wife. there would always have been a doubt in my mind.

it was something i was not willing to compromise on. compromises were reached on other issues on both sides, but this was fundamental to me.

i made that clear when it was obvious that things were getting serious. if it had been fundamental to her that a sinsod was paid then i would have walked away, as painful as that would have been.

As I said twice before: you really loved her then!

SanukJoe if you were under the impression that sinsod was about buying a wife wouldn't you have taken a similar stance?

Maddy, I have learned to not trust impressions but to turn them into knowledge. I would never buy a woman if that is what you mean. If I would have the impression I would (like I did as a prevnetion) read about it, get as much info as I could to make up my mind what it really is. That way I knew long before it was necessary what sin sot is.

Joe

[chuchok]

Joe, was a sinsod paid for your wifes first marriage?

Sure, and returned!! You really don't get it hah?

Why would you say that.It was a simple question?

[SanukJoe]

yes i would. it would have meant that i would have forever thought that i had bought my wife. there would always have been a doubt in my mind.

it was something i was not willing to compromise on. compromises were reached on other issues on both sides, but this was fundamental to me.

i made that clear when it was obvious that things were getting serious. if it had been fundamental to her that a sinsod was paid then i would have walked away, as painful as that would have been.

As I said twice before: you really loved her then!

being in love doesnt mean you abandon your own identity and values.

I didn't say "being in love". You mentioned yourself that you wanted to stay with her all your life. BUt you still tell us you would have walked away instead of showing some bucks you get back anyway....

I'm sorry mate, you have no idea what love is.

Joe

[SanukJoe]

Joe, was a sinsod paid for your wifes first marriage?

Sure, and returned!! You really don't get it hah?

Why would you say that.It was a simple question?

And a simple but effective answer. Some guys here still try to put sin sot as a way to scam farangs.

Tell me what's in it for the family if they return it?

For good sake: look at it as a way the family shows to the village how proud they are that their daughter found a man (thai or farang) who is able to support his wife (and kids). That's why sometimes 500k is brought up and at the end of the day returned. Nobody wins, nobody gains, it's tradition, culture!

Joe

[leftcross]

so despite all your extensive reading on sin sot and its place in thai society you still forked out for a divorcee with two kids?

your claim that virginity and divorce has no bearing on sin sot (if applied) shows how little you understand the subject.

also, it's pointless to compare divorce in the west with divorce in extemely conservative thailand. there is still a massive stigma attached to divorce here.

[chuchok]

Joe, was a sinsod paid for your wifes first marriage?

Sure, and returned!! You really don't get it hah?

Why would you say that.It was a simple question?

And a simple but effective answer. Some guys here still try to put sin sot as a way to scam farangs.

Tell me what's in it for the family if they return it?

For good sake: look at it as a way the family shows to the village how proud they are that their daughter found a man (thai or farang) who is able to support his wife (and kids). That's why sometimes 500k is brought up and at the end of the day returned. Nobody wins, nobody gains, it's tradition, culture!

Joe

No Joe, you are wrong.It is not a simple but effective answer.For one,it was a direct question that should have been answered with a direct reply.I was not implying anything....however you obviously have.

BTW, many people "do" gain.It's a fact of life/human nature.

[meadish_sweetball]

so despite all your extensive reading on sin sot and its place in thai society you still forked out for a divorcee with two kids?

your claim that virginity and divorce has no bearing on sin sot (if applied) shows how little you understand the subject.

You mean the 'mainly Isaan custom' not practiced by civilized people from highly urbanized modern areas of Thailand - such as Chiang Rai?

As if the hole was not deep enough already.

[leftcross]

no, i meant what i said.

why do you feel the need to try and twist a post around? dont ''super-moderators'' have certain responsibilites???

[JacknDanny]

no, i meant what i said.

why do you feel the need to try and twist a post around? dont ''super-moderators'' have certain responsibilites???

[SanukJoe]

so despite all your extensive reading on sin sot and its place in thai society you still forked out for a divorcee with two kids?

your claim that virginity and divorce has no bearing on sin sot (if applied) shows how little you understand the subject.

also, it's pointless to compare divorce in the west with divorce in extemely conservative thailand. there is still a massive stigma attached to divorce here.

You tel me how little I understand of the subject?

Thanks, now I have to change clothes, I wet my pants, couldn't you warn me to come up with such a hilarious remark?

Come on guy, get adult, go back to school and learn to understand what you read, not what guys in the bar tell you.

Read the posts of people who have experience with it, rather than just talk about it. Talk to people, read websites about thai culture, do something!

I did not compare western divorce with thai, again a proof you can't understand what you read. And as far as stigma is concerned about divorce in Thailand: you happen to know that only (thai) men are allowed to divorce their wife, the wife has no right to do it?

You know that the new (thai) husband of a divorced woman with kids is allowed to have sex with her daughter(s) no matter how old?

My wife told me that, concerning her 6 year old daughter, and she was not the only one with tears in her eyes. Wonder why so many girls are raised by grandparents? To protect them from sexual abuse.

The divorce rate is not very different from the west, it's thte difference in rights that makes Thailand conservative.

Virginity/sex and sin sot. It has no influence as TWO people decide to marry, they don't have to ask for permission, they just tell the family. The man doesn't need to buy the bride, not buy permission, it's part of the engagement, that's all, and the man gets the money back.

I wish you would be as big a man as your mouth is. You have heard from several people that you offended guys overhere, their wives. Don't you think it's time to cool down and say sorry, I didn't mean to call your wives a prostitute?

I buy you a beer if you get this out of the way.

Joe

[bkkmadness]

You know that the new (thai) husband of a divorced woman with kids is allowed to have sex with her daughter(s) no matter how old?

My wife told me that, concerning her 6 year old daughter, and she was not the only one with tears in her eyes. Wonder why so many girls are raised by grandparents? To protect them from sexual abuse.

This is not true at all.

[SanukJoe]

Joe, was a sinsod paid for your wifes first marriage?

Sure, and returned!! You really don't get it hah?

Why would you say that.It was a simple question?

And a simple but effective answer. Some guys here still try to put sin sot as a way to scam farangs.

Tell me what's in it for the family if they return it?

For good sake: look at it as a way the family shows to the village how proud they are that their daughter found a man (thai or farang) who is able to support his wife (and kids). That's why sometimes 500k is brought up and at the end of the day returned. Nobody wins, nobody gains, it's tradition, culture!

Joe

No Joe, you are wrong.It is not a simple but effective answer.For one,it was a direct question that should have been answered with a direct reply.I was not implying anything....however you obviously have.

BTW, many people "do" gain.It's a fact of life/human nature.

Chuchok, I found your question be full of irony, if I misjudged that I trule apologise.

Joe

[chuchok]

You know that the new (thai) husband of a divorced woman with kids is allowed to have sex with her daughter(s) no matter how old?

My wife told me that, concerning her 6 year old daughter, and she was not the only one with tears in her eyes. Wonder why so many girls are raised by grandparents? To protect them from sexual abuse.

Joe

Are you talking about statute law here?

[bkkmadness]

And as far as stigma is concerned about divorce in Thailand: you happen to know that only (thai) men are allowed to divorce their wife, the wife has no right to do it?

This I am less sure of but think is not true either. A woman can divorce a man in this country. I'd be surprised if I was wrong.

Edited January 7, 2007 by bkkmadness

[SanukJoe]

You know that the new (thai) husband of a divorced woman with kids is allowed to have sex with her daughter(s) no matter how old?

My wife told me that, concerning her 6 year old daughter, and she was not the only one with tears in her eyes. Wonder why so many girls are raised by grandparents? To protect them from sexual abuse.

This is not true at all.

Sorry Maddy, it's true but of course not official. It's the practice done.

Joe

[SanukJoe]

And as far as stigma is concerned about divorce in Thailand: you happen to know that only (thai) men are allowed to divorce their wife, the wife has no right to do it?

This I am less sure of but think is not true either. A woman can divorce a man in this country. I'd be surprised if I was wrong.

I'm sorry Maddy, you should be surprised as you're totally wrong.

Joe

[chuchok]

And as far as stigma is concerned about divorce in Thailand: you happen to know that only (thai) men are allowed to divorce their wife, the wife has no right to do it?

This I am less sure of but think is not true either. A woman can divorce a man in this country. I'd be surprised if I was wrong.

Yep,a woman can divorce a man for infedelityThe criteria may be different,but they can divorce just the same....and that's a fact.

[Neeranam]

You know that the new (thai) husband of a divorced woman with kids is allowed to have sex with her daughter(s) no matter how old?

My wife told me that, concerning her 6 year old daughter, and she was not the only one with tears in her eyes. Wonder why so many girls are raised by grandparents? To protect them from sexual abuse.

Now I'm convinced that you haven't a clue what you're talking about.

One of the reasons Thai women from lower classes leave their husband and go for farang is that they were sexually abused themselves by a man in their family. They hear that farang don't do this so much and are willing to marry them when divorced. I wonder how many of these women still give sin sot to their parents?

[bkkmadness]

You know that the new (thai) husband of a divorced woman with kids is allowed to have sex with her daughter(s) no matter how old?

My wife told me that, concerning her 6 year old daughter, and she was not the only one with tears in her eyes. Wonder why so many girls are raised by grandparents? To protect them from sexual abuse.

This is not true at all.

Sorry Maddy, it's true but of course not official. It's the practice done.

Joe

Its not true, its not allowed. And by allowed I mean by the law of this country.

[bkkmadness]

And as far as stigma is concerned about divorce in Thailand: you happen to know that only (thai) men are allowed to divorce their wife, the wife has no right to do it?

This I am less sure of but think is not true either. A woman can divorce a man in this country. I'd be surprised if I was wrong.

I'm sorry Maddy, you should be surprised as you're totally wrong.

Joe

I think you might need a new source of information Joe. If you have links to information saying that women cannot divorce their husbands in Thailand I'd like to see them.

[bkkmadness]

And as far as stigma is concerned about divorce in Thailand: you happen to know that only (thai) men are allowed to divorce their wife, the wife has no right to do it?

This I am less sure of but think is not true either. A woman can divorce a man in this country. I'd be surprised if I was wrong.

Yep,a woman can divorce a man for infedelityThe criteria may be different,but they can divorce just the same....and that's a fact.

Just read a little excerpt from another website regarding this, it appears now women can divorce adulterous husbands as well, only recently have women had the same divorce rights in Thailand as men though.

[chuchok]

And as far as stigma is concerned about divorce in Thailand: you happen to know that only (thai) men are allowed to divorce their wife, the wife has no right to do it?

This I am less sure of but think is not true either. A woman can divorce a man in this country. I'd be surprised if I was wrong.

Yep,a woman can divorce a man for infedelityThe criteria may be different,but they can divorce just the same....and that's a fact.

Just read a little excerpt from another website regarding this, it appears now women can divorce adulterous husbands as well, only recently have women had the same divorce rights in Thailand as men though.

Really, it used to be that a husband had to prove that his wife had jumped somebody else,but the woman had to prove that he kept a second wife.

[bkkmadness]

Just what I have read somewhere just now, how good a source of info that is I don't know Divorce is definitely allowed to be initiated by the woman though. And children are thankfully not allowed to be abused by new husbands either. And it's not a standard practice either, well not in the Thailand I know.

[jackmuu]

I will pay later this year, around 600,000, this has not been asked for, it is my offer because

a I can afford it

b Small price to pay to honour my wife and her kin

c It's still cheaper than a UK wedding

Some agree, some don't, some are just too tight with money, some don't understand the culture.

Most Thai people I know pay similar amounts , sometimes a bit less, so don't believe the crap on here that it is a farang rip off, this is the spouting of the poor and uneducated farang who pretend they know about Thailand and it's customs.

[chuchok]

Just what I have read somewhere just now, how good a source of info that is I don't know Divorce is definitely allowed to be initiated by the woman though. And children are thankfully not allowed to be abused by new husbands either. And it's not a standard practice either, well not in the Thailand I know.

There is no doubt that the kiddy fiddling goes on.If Kat was here, she could give you all the info.

The same thing happens when somebody beats up their wife...everybody just turns a blind eye.from what I understand, this tends to be more prevalent in some of the poorer areas.Def not allowed though.

[meadish_sweetball]

Jack, thanks for the input although I dont really agree with your last sentence.

And again, please keep it on the sin sod topic.

[bkkmadness]

Just what I have read somewhere just now, how good a source of info that is I don't know Divorce is definitely allowed to be initiated by the woman though. And children are thankfully not allowed to be abused by new husbands either. And it's not a standard practice either, well not in the Thailand I know.

There is no doubt that the kiddy fiddling goes on.If Kat was here, she could give you all the info.

The same thing happens when somebody beats up their wife...everybody just turns a blind eye.from what I understand, this tends to be more prevalent in some of the poorer areas.Def not allowed though.

I wouldn't rely on Kat for much info to be honest, and I do know it is prevalent but SanukJoe made it sound like it was the normal everyday part of the culture thing. I mean when he said it was 'allowed' I had to assume he was talking about being legally allowed.

[Neeranam]

I will pay later this year, around 600,000, this has not been asked for, it is my offer because

a I can afford it

b Small price to pay to honour my wife and her kin

c It's still cheaper than a UK wedding

Will you refuse if they try to give it back? Do you expect it back?

so don't believe the crap on here that it is a farang rip off

It very often is a farang rip-off - you'll be telling us next that your wife is divorced.