How Much Sin-sod Did You Pay?

[Cpt_M0ney_Sh0t]

It's A decent Question, though I would word it differently to really shed some insight. In fact I think I will start a second pole with more options to make it a little bit more interesting. Not to knock your idea, I just think it needs a bit more clarification.

[chuchok]

If you love your woman you will do what is necessary and in the tradition of HER country where you want to stay. On top, I'm divorced too, are divorced people second class?

Read the topic "sin sot" in general topics, very well written, maybe you understand the meaning of it after reading it.

Sin sot is not like paying money for a cow, it is a tradition and has nothing to do with buying a woman or putting her value in money.

If you would value your wife in money, would you dare to name a number? A good woman is by no means valued in money, they are far beyond that, but a lot of macho men think they value a woman by the amount of money they would spend on them, might be good for bargirls, but not for real women!

Joe

Yes they are second class according to Thai people.Never heard of one Thai person ever paying a sin sot if they married a divorced woman with kids etc. On;ly farangs would pay this IMO,which is fine if that's what they want to do.

Well that is the first time I have ever heard of it.Was a sin sot paid for the first marriage of the lady?...so did ma and pa get a double payment?

[Mossfinn]

You're the only farang in Thailand that I've heard of that benefits financially after marrying an Isarn farmer's daughter. Are you sure you do ?

I'd never give a divorced woman, especially with kids, a sin sot.

Of course it's a deal.

Are you sure of this comment?

I really think you need to read some of the posts, instead of only reading what you want to see.

Have you not seen the comments regarding 'Quid pro quo' Rai exchanged for land, for one.

You may not give a divorced woman sin sot, esp with a kid, just another comment I will treat with contempt, but hey who listens to you anyway.

You state that someone is the only Farang that has benefitted from marrying an Isaan girl, are you completely racist or just stupid?

The girl I married, who happens to be Thai, oh and by the way is from Isaan, the only reason I mention both facts is the fact you appear to be stereotyped in your narrow thoughts, has helped me to pay off debts, move from a two bed flat to a four bed detached house and have land and property in Thailand.

Has given me a more stable home life and helped me move away from a destructive drinking culture that would have seen me lose everything.

And you ask what benefits Farang have received.

Do you know the destuction of drink, I will tell you that without this Isaan girl that you appear to hold in so much contempt, I would be not have benefitted in anyway, shape or form, than I have at present.

Before you ask, yes she was married and had a child, someone I hold as the continued light in the face of pathetic comment as yours.

But as you know nothing of these circumstances and I can't be bothered to show you any respect to tell you, that will remain undisclosed.

Have a good year

Mossfinn

[Cpt_M0ney_Sh0t]

Mossfin, what Chuchok actually said was "you're the only farang in Thailand that I've heard of that benefits FINANCIALLY after marrying an Isarn farmer's daughter. Are you sure you do?" You had some serious personal problems before getting involved with her that were hindering your financial capabilities. She apparently was/is good for you and helped you to get on the straight and narrow. However this would have no doubt been the case had you just lived with her.

Perhaps what he was getting at is that by the act of marriage it's self he can't see how one could come out more liquid by wedding a Isarn farmer's daughter.

And to be quite blunt, had you had your life together and not have been a alcoholic you would not have gained financially (even indirectly as you mentioned.) from being with her.

Suay Di Pee Mai (Happy New Year)

[britmaveric]

If you want to pay sin sot so be it, but its not the end all be all situation for all farang. Those that haven't paid aren't any less cultured than those that have paid. Just hope those that have paid did get their dosh returned, in the end its only for show!!!

[ajarnski]

My 24 y/o niece from Korat just got married to an American on December 29th....Sin Sot...500,000 baht!!

From what I know of my niece, she never had a boyfriend. Very dedicated to her family. Came home every weekend to help her parents at the market.

Even though I feel my niece is a great catch (very attractive, educated, hard working, loyal), I think 500,000 baht was a little over the top. The Sin Sot was used to pay for the huge party and paying off a truck loan.

When I got maried to my 20 y/o Korat girl, I paid 100,000 baht but the money was returned to me the next day. Granted, I did pay for the wedding but I made decent money from the guest

All my friends (Thai and American) paid a Sin Sot when they married. I think this is a personal matter and calling someone who pays a "moron" or "idiot" will not change anything. I also think calling those who don't pay a "cheap charlie" will help the issue any.

Ski.....

[DrFisher]

My Thai family has more money than I do! In any event my in-laws think it is a scam on foreigners to pay and they tend to be of the opinion that the people who ask for money are looking for a pay check not a good son-in-law. In the history of my ancestors it was proper for the womans family to pay the man, maybe try pointing that out to the next one that has their hand out.

[a2396]

This whole idea is total garbage from start to finish in my opinion. I know many ladies who are asking for 1 million + , with a straigh face and they are not Bangkok society debutantes. Several others I am aware of have the nerve to ask for dowry when they have been married before and/or have children. To me, it is a tool for greedy families to collect money from generous Farangs. This "culture" went by the wayside 200 years ago in most of the western world.

You haven't the slightest idea about thai culture and tradition. Culture is NEVER garbage. If you can't respect it stay away, Thailand can do without you. We farangs are guests in this country, who are you to call thai tradition garbage?

Girls asking for 1 million baht? You are talking a different language! If money is paid it is on a voluntary basis, nobody asks for it, and certainly not the girl!! Read my earlier posts and those of others, it's not buying your wife, it's showing respect to her parents and the money is somehow flowing back to you.

A nice and valuable social thai tradition, not suitable for culture nono's.

Bull. Yes, they certainly do ask for it. I think my hearing is good enough to hear correctly. Not only one, but several. The whole concept is insulting-to both the man and the woman, if you think about it. Why not auction them off on Soy Cowboy to the higest bidder? That way they can get the most money and let's not forget about the mothly support money you are expect to pay to the wife AND her family. You are in fantasyland, not Thailand.

[Jockstar]

I paid 100K to show how much I value my wife,

but it was all returned later in the day.

Exact same as me. My wifes folks wanted nothing. They wanted us to keep the money towards our life together. Which we needed when we moved to Oz.

[HenryB]

i really don't understand why farangs continue to pay sin-sot if the girl has been married before, it is not expected and thais would not do it, by all means if you want to give the family money, give it to them, but don't be conned into an uneccessary sin-sod.

BB

If you read my post well you see that not only I got the money back for house- and farm improvement, but they also gave us 2 rai of land.

Economically speaking not a bad deal. For me it's not a deal, it's thai tradition and culture and I'm one of the farangs who respect and adapt thai tradition, in all its ways, and I love it!

Joe

I think you took advantaged of the family. It seems to me the land is worth at least 4 million baht. So build a 5 million house for wife.

[HenryB]

My 24 y/o niece from Korat just got married to an American on December 29th....Sin Sot...500,000 baht!!

From what I know of my niece, she never had a boyfriend. Very dedicated to her family. Came home every weekend to help her parents at the market.

Even though I feel my niece is a great catch (very attractive, educated, hard working, loyal), I think 500,000 baht was a little over the top. The Sin Sot was used to pay for the huge party and paying off a truck loan.

When I got maried to my 20 y/o Korat girl, I paid 100,000 baht but the money was returned to me the next day. Granted, I did pay for the wedding but I made decent money from the guest

All my friends (Thai and American) paid a Sin Sot when they married. I think this is a personal matter and calling someone who pays a "moron" or "idiot" will not change anything. I also think calling those who don't pay a "cheap charlie" will help the issue any.

Ski.....

Question If your niece had a brother he being a Thai hcould not afford 10,000 bath Sin Sot would you lend him 100,000 to give a poor rice farmer to marry his poor daughter?

The tradition is getting money from Farang.

[ZZZ]

If I understand sin sod correct it started long before women had any economical rights in the case of a divorce.

The sin sod was a "security deposit" widly displayed to all at the marriage. The sin sod was then used by the new family but if you divorsed the sin sod stayed with the woman.

With todays womens rights at a divorce this is no longer relevant and is more of a show and tradition. Sounds like most are getting the sin sod back even if there are some scams where the familly are taking advantage of the rich farang.

[cdnvic]

The tradition is getting money from Farang.

So how come millions of Thais pay it? Are they honorary farangs when getting married?

[HenryB]

The tradition is getting money from Farang.

So how come millions of Thais pay it? Are they honorary farangs when getting married?

What are you smoking? Million of Thai paying 100,000 to get married. The only way most Thai can get a 100,000 to give is from a Farang,

Edited January 2, 2007 by HenryB

[cdnvic]

The tradition is getting money from Farang.

So how come millions of Thais pay it? Are they honorary farangs when getting married?

I want to known how much do you the average Thai pays. I bet its under Four Thousand Baht. Remember who buys the beer for the rich family when you go up country

Oh good. Another jaded "All Thais are out to rip me off...boo hoo" character.

[rcm]

The tradition is getting money from Farang.

So how come millions of Thais pay it? Are they honorary farangs when getting married?

I want to known how much do you the average Thai pays. I bet its under Four Thousand Baht. Remember who buys the beer for the rich family when you go up country

If you take the middle Class Thai in my part of the Country(nakhon sawan province).....i have never seen a sin sod (between thais)less than 80000 THB . Last month a nephew married(Thai-thai wedding) for 200000THB and 10 Baht Gold(and no, it was not returned after the wedding ..)...... i know many people don't want to hear that but there are Thai's who can afford a dowry/sinsod and they pay for it , by pride ...they don't see it as a scam as some Foreigners do.

Edited January 2, 2007 by rcm

[terry57]

the sin sot is not a problem when all is well with the relationship.

the only time sin sod becomes a problem is when the relationship goes bad and then one regrets paying it.

but not to worry people, as i suppose its better to pay up front and as we all know the sin sot is a lot more in the west.

the sin sot in the west is, the house, car, dog and superannuation so the bit one pays in los is no big deal .

quite cheap actually.

cheers punters.

[Thaddeus]

The tradition is getting money from Farang.

So how come millions of Thais pay it? Are they honorary farangs when getting married?

What are you smoking? Million of Thai paying 100,000 to get married. The only way most Thai can get a 100,000 to give is from a Farang,

Henry, as you claim to live in Pakistan, what have you viewed with your own eyes?

In the past two years I have attended at least 10 weddings in my village/town, every single one had a sin sort display of money and gold, the values have varied between 40k and 500k and every single marriage was Thai to Thai.

This is not an old tradition reserved for scamming farangs, it's an old tradition that is respected by every single Thai national I have ever met.

[LoveDaBlues]

The tradition is getting money from Farang.

So how come millions of Thais pay it? Are they honorary farangs when getting married?

What are you smoking? Million of Thai paying 100,000 to get married. The only way most Thai can get a 100,000 to give is from a Farang,

Henry, as you claim to live in Pakistan, what have you viewed with your own eyes?

In the past two years I have attended at least 10 weddings in my village/town, every single one had a sin sort display of money and gold, the values have varied between 40k and 500k and every single marriage was Thai to Thai.

This is not an old tradition reserved for scamming farangs, it's an old tradition that is respected by every single Thai national I have ever met.

You are corrrect Thaddeus. My wife's first husband (Thai) paid 100K sinsot and 2 baht gold. He turned out to be a putz and one day just up and left. I've never been asked for sinsot but we are not 'officially' married. I've been very good to her and her family anyway. She had a broken heart for a year when the guy left her; she was really in love. I do think sinsot is more deeply ingrained in the Issan region than other regions of Thailand.

BTW; it's well know HenryB is a major troll. Don't know why he's allowed to post given his wild claims and the number of lies he has been caught in. I don't respond to any of his drivel; best to ignore him.

[a2396]

The tradition is getting money from Farang.

So how come millions of Thais pay it? Are they honorary farangs when getting married?

What are you smoking? Million of Thai paying 100,000 to get married. The only way most Thai can get a 100,000 to give is from a Farang,

Henry, as you claim to live in Pakistan, what have you viewed with your own eyes?

In the past two years I have attended at least 10 weddings in my village/town, every single one had a sin sort display of money and gold, the values have varied between 40k and 500k and every single marriage was Thai to Thai.

This is not an old tradition reserved for scamming farangs, it's an old tradition that is respected by every single Thai national I have ever met.

Tradition or no tradition, let's just think about what this concept results in. With such a monetary basis (requirement) for marriage, it is highly probable that many matches are made soley for money and not love. What about the poor Thai guy who can't scrape up enough cash and what about the Thai girl who is "marketed" and sold off to a Farang, just beause the family neeeds money. This is a common scenario here. Unfortunately, love is often NOT the primary factor. I recently know of one 20 yr old lady who cannot marry the Thai guy of her choice, because her Mother wanted 100K. They bargained it down to 50K, but he still cannot pay. SO, she likely will be "sold offf" to whoever has 100K. This is not the makings for a future happy marriage, in my opinion.

[tuky]

Several posts have been deleted and warnings/holidays will be issued to those that break forum rules.

This is a very interesting debate and topical to probably most of us here, lets not let it turn into a slanging match forcing us to close it.

Thanks a lot guys, please cool down a bit.

[raro]

ohh...and don't do what I did and ask if you get a discount if you marry the younger sister too....

[rcm]

ohh...and don't do what I did and ask if you get a discount if you marry the younger sister too....

[cdnvic]

ohh...and don't do what I did and ask if you get a discount if you marry the younger sister too....

That's just what the discussion needed. Good one.

[Donz]

Tight ass gits.

If you cant pay it because your broke or whatever then thats fine, if you got the cash then pay the sinsot, you get it back so whats the problem.

Maybe its juts the attitude "im a farang and my way is ALWAYS better and Thai way is always crap"

[old wanderer]

In the past two years I have attended at least 10 weddings in my village/town, every single one had a sin sort display of money and gold, the values have varied between 40k and 500k and every single marriage was Thai to Thai.

This is not an old tradition reserved for scamming farangs, it's an old tradition that is respected by every single Thai national I have ever met.

Tradition or no tradition, let's just think about what this concept results in. With such a monetary basis (requirement) for marriage, it is highly probable that many matches are made soley for money and not love. What about the poor Thai guy who can't scrape up enough cash and what about the Thai girl who is "marketed" and sold off to a Farang, just beause the family neeeds money. This is a common scenario here. Unfortunately, love is often NOT the primary factor. I recently know of one 20 yr old lady who cannot marry the Thai guy of her choice, because her Mother wanted 100K. They bargained it down to 50K, but he still cannot pay. SO, she likely will be "sold offf" to whoever has 100K. This is not the makings for a future happy marriage, in my opinion.

Would you want your daughter to marry somebody that was so broke he could not come up with a little money. And look at the culture...family are tight...they help one another, so the son would have the help of his family....Again would you give permission for your young daughter to marry a bumb with nothing???

Second point, in western society, how many engagements have gone on the rocks when a $5,000 or $10,000 engagement ring could not be provided??? Sin Sot but by another name.

Looks like I spent more than most here on this board, but as I have said before the rewards, and prestige I gave to my wifes family will be repaid many times over.

Edited January 2, 2007 by old wanderer

[cdnvic]

Second point, in wester society, how many engagements have gone on the rocks when a $5,000 or $10,000 engagement ring could not be provided??? Sin Sot but by another name.

If it falls apart over that, it was a poor match in the first place.

[ajarnski]

My 24 y/o niece from Korat just got married to an American on December 29th....Sin Sot...500,000 baht!!

From what I know of my niece, she never had a boyfriend. Very dedicated to her family. Came home every weekend to help her parents at the market.

Even though I feel my niece is a great catch (very attractive, educated, hard working, loyal), I think 500,000 baht was a little over the top. The Sin Sot was used to pay for the huge party and paying off a truck loan.

When I got maried to my 20 y/o Korat girl, I paid 100,000 baht but the money was returned to me the next day. Granted, I did pay for the wedding but I made decent money from the guest

All my friends (Thai and American) paid a Sin Sot when they married. I think this is a personal matter and calling someone who pays a "moron" or "idiot" will not change anything. I also think calling those who don't pay a "cheap charlie" will help the issue any.

Ski.....

Question If your niece had a brother he being a Thai hcould not afford 10,000 bath Sin Sot would you lend him 100,000 to give a poor rice farmer to marry his poor daughter?

The tradition is getting money from Farang.

Well....3 of my wife's friends got married within the last 4 months and these are the Sin Sot numbers:

1st girl (20 y/o-factory worker) - 100,000 baht and 2 baht gold

2nd girl-(19 y/o-factory worker) - 60,000 baht and 1 baht gold

3rd girl-(22 y/o goldshop employee) - 150,000 baht and 5 baht gold

Now, the grooms are all simple factory/office workers. They raise money mostly through selling off the land and borrowing from loan sharks. The cheapest Sin Sot I've heard of around here was 20,000 baht and 1 baht gold.

So if you still believe that only rich "farangs" pay Sin Sot or that Thai people are out to get you....than that's your choice. Don't confuse 1 Thai family trying to rip/scam you as the norm. Most Thai families I know are just simple folks and Sin Sot is part their tradition. I've never heard of a family around here getting rich from Sin Sot.

Yes, I still think 500,000 baht for my niece was over the top but than again......my niece is a nice simple girl...wish I can say the same about her parents.

Ski......

[chuchok]

If I understand sin sod correct it started long before women had any economical rights in the case of a divorce.

The sin sod was a "security deposit" widly displayed to all at the marriage. The sin sod was then used by the new family but if you divorsed the sin sod stayed with the woman.

With todays womens rights at a divorce this is no longer relevant and is more of a show and tradition. Sounds like most are getting the sin sod back even if there are some scams where the familly are taking advantage of the rich farang.

It all depends on who you speak to.A Thai friend told me that the sin sot is to pay the parents for losing the daughter.ie:daughter will no longer be able to look after them in their old age(when they cannot work), as she will have her own family to look after etc

In a society where there is no social welfare and an extended family is needed to survive,this seems quite plausable.

The same Thai friend told me that half his sin sot was returned to him,as his wifes parents were not really poor and he only had to pay for the party.

[KireB]

Sin Sot might be Thai tradition, but it's losing its ground among the younger generations.

It suffocates young women, who are financiale repsonsible for whole families.

Look how many Thai women in thier thirties are single! That's because they have a pricetag on their shoulders.

Next to this I would say that this tradition doesn't apply on foreigners. We are not Thai and will never ever be taken seriously in this society. E.g, we cannot buy land and invest in our futures as we would do backhome.

If your future family-in-law is giving you a hard-time, tell them you will marry the girl in your country of origin and that her family is, tradition wise, responsible for all the costs. They will problably get a stroke when you tell them!

My point is that in a Thai-Farang relationship there are two sides of a coin, two traditions!

If your future wife cannot see that, why marry her at all? It won't work on the long term anyway!

Love and money are not to be combined!