Farmer1956 Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 Once collided with a cow, made a real mess of my Isuzu. Cow got up and ran off, it did have a surprised look on its face though. Car needed a complete front end, was only doing about 20km/h as I had slowed down while passing another cow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lokie Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 (edited) When I first started coming to Patong years ago, was $ h itfaced one night in a certain Club,am bouncing about dancing and having a great time (was younger and a lot fitter then) Was a Thai lady surrounded by an entourage of girls and she was obviously the head girl and buying them all drinks, next minute Im presented with a drink (JD & Coke or something) long story short, few hours later I ends up back at her place, was an upmarket hotel/condo joint and she had this really nice place there, BiG Bhat... she obviously had money. As soon as we got in she's on the land line phone in the room talking in Thai to someone, then got her kit off and said we shower then we f **k! By now my mind is thinking who the F cu k is paying for this gaff? and all the trappings?? I quickly came to the conclusion she was either a gangsters moll or her hubby/BF is a big cheese, I wanted to get off sharpish, before I knew it we was having it away, she was a right Nympho and while poking the fire I am thinking need to get out of here... Just then the door goes and I absolutely SH AT myself!! Door flies open and this Thai guy in black, with a look of Bruce Lee is stood there in the doorway..., (fur..king E...ll!) Turns out its room service with some thai food and a FULL ENGLISH LOL! She said ok Mr I order foo for you, we eat now then can F cu k again F FS!!! (luckily she fell asleep while eating) I tippy - toed out with my clothes in hand, quietly closed the door and was off like $ hit off a stick... I vowed never to go back with any women who are throwing money about, I really $ hit myself and thought I could have ended up in a bad spot (probably over the hills on way to Karon lol) never again - my mates all fell about laughing and still do when the story gets a hearing at my expense but I suppose when you're younger you really do some half ar$ed things Edited July 21, 2017 by Lokie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A1Str8 Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 13 hours ago, tonray said: I taught at a government high school for two years while apparently in a coma. because that is the only explanation I can think of for why I would do something that stupid. your posts indicate that said coma hasn't ended yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lokie Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 Also once went to pay a 500 Bhat fine at Kathu cop shop, joined que outside the door (the BIB had been busy that day) when I got to fines desk, sergeant read slip and said no licence 300 Bhat, I said Nooo, I have licence, this is for parking, he siad no Mr I say No licence you pay only 300Bhats, better for you... he smiled at me, I paid 300 baht and on my way - for the life of me to this day I still can not understand why he did that??? (the fines total are not exact above, but basically he let me off 200 Bhat) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foozool Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 Reading news on Thai visa everyday. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeoTex Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 Once while walking around In Pattaya, went by a Indiana Tailor Shop who wasn't interested in selling me a suit. LeoTex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si Thea01 Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 12 hours ago, weegee said: Amazing, I came here....I married Cinderalla...little did I know, it also came with the 2 evil sisters....lol. We must be related, I married one of the evil sisters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses G. Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 When I had a business, a farang flashed some of the shop-girls. We had CCTV, but his back was to the camera. We called the police and they refused to arrest him, because we had no pictures of his actual weeny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blazes Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 I had sex with an (attractive) 35 yr old virgin. Sex with a virgin is not to be recommended, but I was later surprised by the success of further go-arounds. Happy penetration lasted until she started talking insistently about "sin sot". (One million baht for a government worker??) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Deerhunter Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 7 hours ago, Bangkok Barry said: I had some builders in and they painted some doors with glass in them. They got lots of paint on the glass and tried to clean it off with sandpaper. The foreman said they'd replace the glass but well, you know..... Some of the builders were family so my wife was unable to complain without causing huge loss of face and WW#. Well sometimes it is called glass paper......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Deerhunter Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 3 hours ago, LeoTex said: Once while walking around In Pattaya, went by a Indiana Tailor Shop who wasn't interested in selling me a suit. LeoTex That took a few seconds... 555 For a start I thought you meant he just wanted to take inside leg measurements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Deerhunter Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 14 hours ago, weegee said: Amazing, I came here....I married Cinderalla...little did I know, it also came with the 2 evil sisters....lol. Thanks Weegee. I love that and I am going to re-name my wife Cinderella. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Deerhunter Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 7 hours ago, whaleboneman said: It's so easy to remove paint from glass with a razor blade that I don't even bother taping off before painting. That would be bizarre if you were Thai. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Deerhunter Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 7 hours ago, Farmer1956 said: Once collided with a cow, made a real mess of my Isuzu. Cow got up and ran off, it did have a surprised look on its face though. Car needed a complete front end, was only doing about 20km/h as I had slowed down while passing another cow. I nearly married that cow. She told me her bad leg came from falling off a scooter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace of Pop Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Going to CM Immigration years ago ,only one there. Told the Officer i hated forms,he got me Coffee ,filled in my 1year , and chatted about grumpy Germans.!!..How things can change.?Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toofarnorth Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Several years ago I went to Home Pro in Chiang rai. We neded a new ceiling fan. I went off to the paint dept. but told my TW after pointing to a fan on the ceiling " That is the one we want " I came back with the paint and they were up some steps removing the fan from the ceiling . Ok I did get it without a box but I got a discount as now it had been used . Oh another time in Hua-Hin at a restaurant my wife ordered a salmon salad , I ordered pizza. Halfway through the salad I asked her where my pizza was .She called the waiter over . " Where is the ferlung's pizza " Oh , he said we don't have pizza today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reenatinnakor Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Not really...and certainly not limited to Thailand But the guys in thailand aren't billionaires... Which makes it even more strange. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anto Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Bizzar ? I went back with a ''girl'' to her room ,and she turned out to have a 3 rd leg . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Bowman Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 As a newbie years ago, I was dragged by co-workers to Nana Plaza. They thought I would enjoy the experience but it was much like many joints around any army base. Anyway, while sitting having a drink with my friends, I noticed a table close to us where all the young ladies were flocking to. Why? There was a older Western gentleman sitting there with his shirt open, showing everyone his fake boobs. Bizarre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemises Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Large, clear, colour photos of blood covered murder victims bodies AND FACES on front pages of newspapers. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gk10002000 Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 In Pattaya a few years ago I was walking on the side of the road, north of 3rd road on some little side street as I recall. Out of nowhere a young kid and his girl on a motobike hit me right in the butt. It pushed me forward as it hit me right in my center of balance and I didn't fall over. But they fell off the bike and hit the ground. I looked back in amazement trying to figure out where the bike came from, to see if they were OK, etc. Best guess is they came out of one of the little shops or bars that were there and lost control as they tried to straighten out on the little street. Anyway I was searching for words and as the guy picked himself off the ground he holds up his arm and says "jep", the Thai word for hurt. I said, yeah, Jep this. A few people standing around didn't say much and I just walked away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gk10002000 Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 1 hour ago, anto said: Bizzar ? I went back with a ''girl'' to her room ,and she turned out to have a 3 rd leg . I had a close call once. I was honestly fooled. I was staying in Eastiny Place at the time many years ago, and I brought a girl back to the hotel. The the desk clerk checked her ID and then said "sorry sir cannot". I didn't know why. I asked what, no visitors any more allowed? And she said no sir, "can not take this person". So I was thinking, oh, maybe she is a known problem or crook or whatever. Then the clerk showed me her ID card. Of course it is in Thai and I could not read it, but the photo which looked a little bit like her was clearly a guy. I said thank you. I kind of felt bad because now the person had lost some time. So I gave her 100 baht for a motorbike taxi or baht bus or whatever she would use to get back to work. Good old Pattaya when new adventures were still about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenifer d Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 this certainly qualifies as bizzarre- and is 1000% true: 2 weeks after i first moved into the home where i still live 7 1/3 yrs later, i heard a knocking, blowing sound as if checking a microphone; then seconds later, my mom's voice "hello is this thing on?" i answered, not actually surprised, "mom-" she then began to excoriate me that if i did NOT quit smoking cigarettes/tobacco IMMEDIATELY, i would be dead within the month (and the pain in my lung area was portending exactly that) exactly one week later, while on my fave big living room chair, the Paul Simon song "Mother & Child Reunion" came into my head, i picked up my guitar, figured out the chords and began singing it, for virtually 24 hours- then, when i went to the restroom*** and was 'on the throne', my mom MATERIALIZED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME*** after cleaning myself (after all, i was doing 'number 2') i ran to tell my Thai neighbors- their blase yet smiling response: "we know, 'dok mai' (my Thai nickname, means 'flower') we saw your mother's ghost already, we were waiting for YOU to tell US that YOU finally saw her!" ***my mother passed away in HER restroom in USA in 2003, hence her apparent ease in materializing in my restroom -and yes, we still talk, often- and several other things have occurred due to her presence and continuous guidance from the realm of disembodied spirits... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saakura Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 17 hours ago, Chou Anou said: Not really...and certainly not limited to Thailand Trump is not a retired pensioner or a teacher in a local village school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gk10002000 Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 On my very first trip back in 2004. A fantastic 10 days. On my last night I just wanted to take it easy since the next day is a long trip back to BKK then to the USA and LAX. Slept late, hit the pool, mailed some post cards, took a nap. About 8 pm went out for a little walk about on soi 8 in Pattaya where I was staying. Bar across the street had baloons and a pig roast. First one I had seen. I walked over, found out I could eat my fill. I bought the mama san a drink, had a few drinks while chatting with one of the hosts, bought her two drinks. I was about to call it a night and tip the lady some more for her time. I was tired and heading for bed. Just then a real stunner came in, and I started to chat with her. A drink or two later I decided I would ask her out for a while. She spoke very good english had worked in the USA at a restaurant for a while. I told her I wanted to be nice to her friend but that I didn't want to hurt her feelings by not taking her. She said take both of us. I said, no, I am tired and have a long day tomorrow. She said "No problem, you lay down, we take care of you" I mean come on. How can you not get a good impression of a place on your first visit. I tipped her friend and off we went. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anto Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 >>and is 1000% true:<< Things can only be 100% true .I believe you though ,as i do not believe that this life is as real as it seems and there are other dimensions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blinky62 Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 I have had a number of aquaintances that died, that I came to know since coming to Thailand. Within the last 6 months I disvovered that two people that I would consider "friends" have died. Unfortunately, I didn' t hear about their deaths till about 2 days after they were creamated. These two deaths have had an affect on me that has forced me to question things I never guessed I would.ever do. I suppose what I'm saying is.....I was left wondering "why did they not give me the chance to say goodbye to them".(they knew they were dying)..." did our friendship mean anything at all"? I'm aware people may not wish to be seen by their friends in their dying state....I don't even know what I would want. There seems to be a special "identifacition" between friends living away from home that one might not feel amoung friends at home. Confusion about these matters seems to have set in.....I have never experienced this back home even though I have had more fruends die there than here. Take Care All Yes it is horrible . I lost my girlfriend of 17 years in Aust. She was very sick for a long time , but always told people , there was nothing wrong and she was getting better . I was not allowed to tell anyone the truth . Was very hard for me. Fast forward 10 years, I learnt a good friend had the big C back home , I chatted to him on Facebook, and same same , sent photo's all good , no problem , less than a week after our last chat . Dead . When my father died about 15 years ago same , was all hidden from us . I think even when we know our time is coming , we don't want to upset anyone's life . They want to be remembered as happy people , sad I know . But they want you to remember them as fit strong people . Don't take it to heart , it's what they wanted.Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannot Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 5 hours ago, jenifer d said: this certainly qualifies as bizzarre- and is 1000% true: 2 weeks after i first moved into the home where i still live 7 1/3 yrs later, i heard a knocking, blowing sound as if checking a microphone; then seconds later, my mom's voice "hello is this thing on?" i answered, not actually surprised, "mom-" she then began to excoriate me that if i did NOT quit smoking cigarettes/tobacco IMMEDIATELY, i would be dead within the month (and the pain in my lung area was portending exactly that) exactly one week later, while on my fave big living room chair, the Paul Simon song "Mother & Child Reunion" came into my head, i picked up my guitar, figured out the chords and began singing it, for virtually 24 hours- then, when i went to the restroom*** and was 'on the throne', my mom MATERIALIZED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME*** after cleaning myself (after all, i was doing 'number 2') i ran to tell my Thai neighbors- their blase yet smiling response: "we know, 'dok mai' (my Thai nickname, means 'flower') we saw your mother's ghost already, we were waiting for YOU to tell US that YOU finally saw her!" ***my mother passed away in HER restroom in USA in 2003, hence her apparent ease in materializing in my restroom -and yes, we still talk, often- and several other things have occurred due to her presence and continuous guidance from the realm of disembodied spirits... methinks that another spirit is involved here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
csabo Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 (edited) Seen my share, usually daily, but I got one of those men's room urinal massages not too long ago. This would be considered extremely bizarre where I come from but when in Rome... Always on the hunt for a good massage I let him give it a shot. I think he cracked all 12 thoracic vertebrae with one dynamic move. My back felt great for weeks! Best 10 baht I ever spent but not an easy story to tell back home. Edited July 22, 2017 by csabo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
csabo Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 6 hours ago, gk10002000 said: On my very first trip back in 2004. A fantastic 10 days. On my last night I just wanted to take it easy since the next day is a long trip back to BKK then to the USA and LAX. Slept late, hit the pool, mailed some post cards, took a nap. About 8 pm went out for a little walk about on soi 8 in Pattaya where I was staying. Bar across the street had baloons and a pig roast. First one I had seen. I walked over, found out I could eat my fill. I bought the mama san a drink, had a few drinks while chatting with one of the hosts, bought her two drinks. I was about to call it a night and tip the lady some more for her time. I was tired and heading for bed. Just then a real stunner came in, and I started to chat with her. A drink or two later I decided I would ask her out for a while. She spoke very good english had worked in the USA at a restaurant for a while. I told her I wanted to be nice to her friend but that I didn't want to hurt her feelings by not taking her. She said take both of us. I said, no, I am tired and have a long day tomorrow. She said "No problem, you lay down, we take care of you" I mean come on. How can you not get a good impression of a place on your first visit. I tipped her friend and off we went. How did you get free from the duct tape? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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