The Definitive Answer to "Does she really love me?"

[Kinnock]

The one question asked on Thaivisa even more frequently than;  "can I import my car", and "do I need 20,000 THB to enter on a Tourist Visa", is the question about "does she really love me, or is it just my money?".

 

So this thread is to document the definitive guidance from the Thaivisa experts on this most crucial question.

 

To start off, here's some preliminary guidance:

 

1. Have you met her .... in person?  Nobody has ever fallen in love on-line .... ever ..... no really .... forget it
2. Can she walk passed a Gold Shop without dragging you in?
3. Has she ever said "No, don't buy me a new mobile phone, mine is still working OK"
4. Does she care about what you wear - has she tried to break your cargo-shorts habit?
5. When you give her money, does she see it as 'her' money, or as 'our' money.  If she spends it all on herself exclusively, then you don't have a 'keeper'.  But if she spends some of it on things for both of you, then this is a positive sign.  Simple things like using her money to stock up your house/condo with foods and drink she knows you like, or buying you unusual Thai snacks she wants you to try, or clothes she thinks you'll look good in (trust me, you'll never where that shirt in public, but it's the thought that counts).
6. Does she 'shield' you from the more needy members of her family?  If she puts you in a position where you feel compelled to help a relative in financial trouble, then it's a bad sign. 
7. Are there photos of you in her Facebook posts?  If she claims to not have a Facebook account - run away
8. If you are sick, does she look after you?  Obvious one - but 'in sickness and in health' is universal
9. Has she encouraged you to learn Thai?  If not, she's not the one
10. Does she make personal contact with you in public - a vice like grip as she drags you into the gold shop or visa center does not count, but unconscious touching to maintain contact as you walk around in public

 

So what additional tips do you have to help out with the number 1 question?

[Chou Anou]

re: #4: if she wants you to stop dressing like a little boy and instead dress like a man, I'd say she definitely genuinely cares about you

[Been there done that]

Re 9: Does she like,  or encourages, it that you read books about thai and foreign relationships and /or the thai female mindset.

[Rc2702]

Mai kit maak

[Berkshire]

If she doesn't speak your language and you don't speak hers, she does not love you. 

[Kinnock]

5 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

If she doesn't speak your language and you don't speak hers, she does not love you. 

Harsh, but yes .... communication is pretty important in relationship building.

[Been there done that]

7 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

If she doesn't speak your language and you don't speak hers, she does not love you. 

Following your logic, the men originating from non english speaking countries have almost zero chance then 

[Berkshire]

2 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

Following your logic, the men originating from non english speaking countries have almost zero chance then 

You're not making any sense.  Are you suggesting that Thai women only speak Thai or English?  Seriously?

 

 

[swissie]

55 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

Harsh, but yes .... communication is pretty important in relationship building.

Asking the Experts.

What is better for relationship building, based on language: "Pidgin-English" or a mixture of Pidgin-English in combination with English/Thai "gobeldigook"?

- In the early stages of "relationship-building", few Farang/Thai couples are capable of conversing in proper English or proper Thai.
But what the heck, even having to rely on Pidgin-English, most couples can find their way to the Amphoe to get married.
And that's the main thing, isen't it?

After all, if a Thai-Lady agrees to marry a Farang, of course she loves him. What other reasons could she possibly have?
Cheers.

 

[Been there done that]

1 hour ago, Berkshire said:

You're not making any sense.  Are you suggesting that Thai women only speak Thai or English?  Seriously?

 

 

In all my years overhere I am happy if a thai person I encounter can speak reasonable english. Rarely I have come across somebody who could speak english fluently. Once, when in hospital, I heard a thai woman speaking Russian.

 

The average thai, my experiences, only speaks thai and one can get lucky if somebody can speak some english. So where are those people who speak more languages than thai or english ?

[Berkshire]

7 hours ago, Been there done that said:

In all my years overhere I am happy if a thai person I encounter can speak reasonable english. Rarely I have come across somebody who could speak english fluently. Once, when in hospital, I heard a thai woman speaking Russian.

 

The average thai, my experiences, only speaks thai and one can get lucky if somebody can speak some english. So where are those people who speak more languages than thai or english ?

I still don't understand your comment regarding the non English speaking countries.  But I agree that most Thai women in Thailand can't speak English fluently.  Which means that if you want a Thai woman to fall in love with you, you'd pretty much have to speak Thai.

 

The thing is, there are plenty of desperate Thai women who can't properly communicate with a foreigner but would be willing to date and marry one.  That's not "love" but more like having someone "take care." 

[canuckamuck]

A solid 10 out of 10 for me from that list, so I guess Kinnock has given the seal of approval to my relationship. Not so sure the cargo shorts thing is relevant. Certainly sometimes you shouldn't wear them. Like 2 or three days a month maybe.

The gold shop thing is probably a thing for many here, but my wife actually hates gold, she says it is ugly, and I agree, It does nothing for me, it's for investment or for people with low self esteem.

 

[Been there done that]

1 hour ago, Berkshire said:

I still don't understand your comment regarding the non English speaking countries.  But I agree that most Thai women in Thailand can't speak English fluently.  Which means that if you want a Thai woman to fall in love with you, you'd pretty much have to speak Thai.

 

The thing is, there are plenty of desperate Thai women who can't properly communicate with a foreigner but would be willing to date and marry one.  That's not "love" but more like having someone "take care." 

You stated in your initial comment that one must speak 2  languages to "love each other". Hence my comment about men originating from non english speaking countries. 

[blazes]

My wife eschews gold on the very practical ground that it draws the attention of potential robbers to the fact that you are hi-so (or at least have a few dollars in your wallet).   

[blazes]

Language:  I have met many pooying who have a goodish grasp of the English language, but this ability to read (and even write) is undermined by woeful pronunciation.

For example, one sweetheart totally puzzled me when she kept going on about something in her medical work that involved an-al- EYE - sis.  

"An-al- EYE -sis??" I repeated a few times as she nodded her head vigorously.

Spell it, I said.

A-N-A-L-Y-S-I-S

Oh, anALysis!!  Ok, I understand now.

[Berkshire]

49 minutes ago, Been there done that said:

You stated in your initial comment that one must speak 2  languages to "love each other". Hence my comment about men originating from non english speaking countries. 

That's not what I said and I never even mentioned English.  I basically said a couple needs to be able to understand each other...in whatever language they prefer.  Again, since most Thai women are not going to be fluent in another language, it would mean being able to speak Thai with her.

[oldhippy]

10 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

That's not what I said and I never even mentioned English.  I basically said a couple needs to be able to understand each other...in whatever language they prefer.  Again, since most Thai women are not going to be fluent in another language, it would mean being able to speak Thai with her.

Yet you said:

QUOTE:

 

You're not making any sense.  Are you suggesting that Thai women only speak Thai or English?  Seriously?

 

Are you having a bad day or is it just a usual day Berkshire?

 

 

[Roger Harris]

Read the books "MONEY COMES FIRST" PRIVATE DANCER, 99% of cases here, you buy sex and rent love. When the rent

runs out so doe's the love & the sex. Not many relationships work out in Thailand, most end in disaster. Heard some very

bad tales hear from the horses mouth, not hearsay rumors, You have a better chance with villiage ladies, not Pattaya and the like.

GOOD LUCK

[Berkshire]

3 minutes ago, oldhippy said:

Yet you said:

QUOTE:

 

You're not making any sense.  Are you suggesting that Thai women only speak Thai or English?  Seriously?

 

Are you having a bad day or is it just a usual day Berkshire?

 

 

Dude, you're taking things out of context.  He brought up non-English speaking countries when I didn't even mention English.  Please try to keep up.

[oldhippy]

Yes Berkshire you are right, you never mentioned English, particularly not in the post that I quoted just above here.

And in that post you also never suggested that Thai women speak more than 2 languages.

 

It is all clear to me now.

 

 

 

[jossthaifarang]

This has got to be a wind up..

[Blackheart1916]

Well, this could be applied universally, not just Thai women exclusively.

[bert bloggs]

My wife is a woman ,does not matter what country they come from ,they are much the same as each other ,except some are taught the ways of their enviroment ,much the same way us men are , i have lived in the UK with my wife and son and here in Thailand ,my son speaks perfect English the wife very good ,i understand and speak a little Thai ,but as most of her family have travelled and speak English so my bad Thai was never a problem , now does she love me? I would say very very much ,as i love her ,she is just like any British woman i have known ,some are lovely some are bitches , just because she is Thai why should she be any different?

[Juan B Tong]

Today, yes.  Yesterday maybe.  Last week no. It depends on my mood.

[ICECOOL]

13 hours ago, Kinnock said:

Harsh, but yes .... communication is pretty important in relationship building.

If she is willing and eager to learn and comprehend your language then thats a positive many things are good signs

[Jap Si]

Good post, I would also add

 

(If your working in Thailand, like me with my Thai gf).

 

11) Does she get up in the morning like clockwork and make you a coffee? Willing without question to cook breakfast / provide something to take to work...and go food shopping, cook amazing food at night and clean up afterwards?

 

12) Prepared to keep house clean, do washing & ironing without question?

 

These have to be on the list, because any non serious Thai girl wouldn't do any of this.

 

And yes mine does this, might be sexist questions but roles are roles in Thailand,  mine's a keeper....

Edited August 3, 2017 by Jap Si

[fordguy61mi]

You always hear on here about Thai women being out for money or security. Like it's a one-way deal or something, like the guy isn't getting anything out of it. She gets money and security and he gets sex and a young hot woman on his arm he probably couldn't get back in his home country. Sounds like a fair deal to me. Maybe she wonders if he really loves her or just her body. It goes both ways.

Edited August 3, 2017 by fordguy61mi

[1FinickyOne]

Actually a pretty good list - and we scored pretty well - - after 17 years together... should get extra credit for anything over 5 years...

 

Though from what I have read on TVF it more often sounds like payment for services rendered than love...

 

 

 

 

[cyberfarang]

If she`s young enough to be your daughter or granddaughter, then 99.99% of the time she won`t be in the relationship for love and makes all the OP`s advice irrelevant.

[1FinickyOne]

4 hours ago, blazes said:

Language:  I have met many pooying who have a goodish grasp of the English language, but this ability to read (and even write) is undermined by woeful pronunciation.

For example, one sweetheart totally puzzled me when she kept going on about something in her medical work that involved an-al- EYE - sis.  

"An-al- EYE -sis??" I repeated a few times as she nodded her head vigorously.

Spell it, I said.

A-N-A-L-Y-S-I-S

Oh, anALysis!!  Ok, I understand now.

Funny - just last week a fellow at my niece's school approached me and asked for help with English language...

 

And asked me about the word  "analysis" - 

 

He asked me what tone it was...