The Definitive Answer to "Does she really love me?"

[Billy Bloggs]

4 hours ago, blazes said:

Language:  I have met many pooying who have a goodish grasp of the English language, but this ability to read (and even write) is undermined by woeful pronunciation.

For example, one sweetheart totally puzzled me when she kept going on about something in her medical work that involved an-al- EYE - sis.  

"An-al- EYE -sis??" I repeated a few times as she nodded her head vigorously.

Spell it, I said.

A-N-A-L-Y-S-I-S

Oh, anALysis!!  Ok, I understand now.

Yes totally agree, I now only get a max of 3 repeats and then its spell it and always turns out miles away from what I thought it was.

[smotherb]

17 hours ago, Chou Anou said:

re: #4: if she wants you to stop dressing like a little boy and instead dress like a man, I'd say she definitely genuinely cares about you

Your definition of a man is obviously different than mine--dress has little to do with it. Not all Thai ladies are afflicted with the lack of causal clothes mentality so often seen here on TV. I think it is rather stupid to wear long pants and long-sleeved shirts in the tropics. It certainly may depend upon where you are, but running to the Tesco for lunch or a bottle of wine should not be a business attire affair. In short, not all Thai ladies are members of the fashion police and if you are going to decide if she loves you based on that--good luck.

[smotherb]

17 hours ago, Been there done that said:

Re 9: Does she like,  or encourages, it that you read books about thai and foreign relationships and /or the thai female mindset.

My wife of 38 years did not encourage me to learn her language, she was more interested in learning mine. If she can speak your language, there is nothing wrong with learning hers, in fact I would recommend you learn the language of where you  live; but would you base your relationship on whether she wants you to speak Thai or not?

Edited August 3, 2017 by smotherb
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[Ooladolla]

If you fell on hard times and couldn't provide financial support would she stay with you ? 

[smotherb]

15 hours ago, swissie said:

Asking the Experts.

What is better for relationship building, based on language: "Pidgin-English" or a mixture of Pidgin-English in combination with English/Thai "gobeldigook"?

- In the early stages of "relationship-building", few Farang/Thai couples are capable of conversing in proper English or proper Thai.
But what the heck, even having to rely on Pidgin-English, most couples can find their way to the Amphoe to get married.
And that's the main thing, isen't it?

After all, if a Thai-Lady agrees to marry a Farang, of course she loves him. What other reasons could she possibly have?
Cheers.

 

"In the early stages of "relationship-building", few Farang/Thai couples are capable of conversing in proper English or proper Thai."

 

I agree many farang-Thai relationships cannot carry-on even a light conversation and I wonder how they exist, but many do. However, farangs who are looking for an intelligent responsible Thai woman often encounter Thai women who have responsible positions in industry which require a command of English or other foreign languages.  I know many Thai women who can carry-on conversations in other languages, but I do know many more who cannot. 

[smotherb]

3 hours ago, Blackheart1916 said:

Well, this could be applied universally, not just Thai women exclusively.

Well, yes; maybe not exclusively, but it seems extensively.

[smotherb]

2 hours ago, Jap Si said:

Good post, I would also add

 

(If your working in Thailand, like me with my Thai gf).

 

11) Does she get up in the morning like clockwork and make you a coffee? Willing without question to cook breakfast / provide something to take to work...and go food shopping, cook amazing food at night and clean up afterwards?

 

12) Prepared to keep house clean, do washing & ironing without question?

 

These have to be on the list, because any non serious Thai girl wouldn't do any of this.

 

And yes mine does this, might be sexist questions but roles are roles in Thailand,  mine's a keeper....

I wouldn't have a woman who would not take care of me, and I do like my coffee and breakfast.

[smotherb]

1 hour ago, fordguy61mi said:

You always hear on here about Thai women being out for money or security. Like it's a one-way deal or something, like the guy isn't getting anything out of it. She gets money and security and he gets sex and a young hot woman on his arm he probably couldn't get back in his home country. Sounds like a fair deal to me. Maybe she wonders if he really loves her or just her body. It goes both ways.

Yes, that is if you want a monetary relationship

[binjalin]

God I loathe these sentimental weak threads 'does she love me'?  you are probably 20+ years older and she loves your SECURITY. That's the truth now get over it, accept this, and either go for it (stupid idea in my opinion) or just rent don't buy (better idea).

[georgemandm]

4 hours ago, Roger Harris said:

Read the books "MONEY COMES FIRST" PRIVATE DANCER, 99% of cases here, you buy sex and rent love. When the rent

runs out so doe's the love & the sex. Not many relationships work out in Thailand, most end in disaster. Heard some very

bad tales hear from the horses mouth, not hearsay rumors, You have a better chance with villiage ladies, not Pattaya and the like.

GOOD LUCK

Agree with you 100% , keep away from thai woman from bars .

They lean lots of bad habits from the other bars moles .

I not sure if a thai woman can show real love , they say they love you but who knows if they mean it .

To me it is all about the ( MONEY AND A MUCH BETTER LIFE ) .

Most thai woman have no hop of a great life with the poorer thai man .

 

[oldhippy]

"Love" is a typical European concept.

In Europe love is vastly overrated, in Thailand it is virtually non existent.

 

Let's not lose our time with discussing love.

More useful it is to discuss mutual respect, trust, friendship, tenderness between partners - those concepts are (or can be) real.

[georgemandm]

3 hours ago, bert bloggs said:

My wife is a woman ,does not matter what country they come from ,they are much the same as each other ,except some are taught the ways of their enviroment ,much the same way us men are , i have lived in the UK with my wife and son and here in Thailand ,my son speaks perfect English the wife very good ,i understand and speak a little Thai ,but as most of her family have travelled and speak English so my bad Thai was never a problem , now does she love me? I would say very very much ,as i love her ,she is just like any British woman i have known ,some are lovely some are bitches , just because she is Thai why should she be any different?

thai woman are a Lot different to western women by far , in a good way .

But some thai woman  , get very bad habits and it comes from to many  foreigners give them far to much in they relationship.

One think I have leant in western thai relationship , is to say ( NO ) and ( NO ) 

means ( NO ) and the relationship will be a lot better , plus try and live with them for 1 or 2 years before you  commit  to them , be it  marriage or a  de facto  relationship  . 

The op who started this  , most not forget they are two winners in western thai relationship, she is a winner and her is a winner as long as her dose not put his hole  life savings in to a thai woman , and very sad to say lots of men who take on a thai lady give them to much and it can turns to s??t . 

[GreasyFingers]

1 hour ago, smotherb said:

My wife of 38 years did not encourage me to learn her language, she was more interested in learning mine. If she can speak your language, there is nothing wrong with learning hers, in fact I would recommend you learn the language of where you  live; but would you base your relationship on whether she wants you to speak Thai or not?

My gf seems to prefer that I do not speak Thai and does not try to help me learn when she could but I have no doubts about her love. I have three good reasons for not learning Thai, the main one being I am not good at languages and all my attempts have failed.

[Kinnock]

1 hour ago, Ooladolla said:

If you fell on hard times and couldn't provide financial support would she stay with you ? 

Ah yes.  Good one, although not easy to measure - unless you fake a personal financial crisis and see what happens?

 

My partner often talks about how we need to plan for the future when I'm no longer working, and she assumes we'll not have not much money - so I guess that's another positive indicator.

 

[binjalin]

1 hour ago, oldhippy said:

"Love" is a typical European concept.

In Europe love is vastly overrated, in Thailand it is virtually non existent.

 

Let's not lose our time with discussing love.

More useful it is to discuss mutual respect, trust, friendship, tenderness between partners - those concepts are (or can be) real.

Well of course there IS love... family, children, pets but the 'romantic does she love me' drivel is for hollywood and comic books. The wonderful traits you mention are from love but of the compassionate kind not the 'head spinning lust' kind.

 

'How do I know she loves me" makes me want to wretch frankly (but I am a tad cynical).

[Nokawou]

Must say Mrs Nok scores 10/10. She also wanted to marry me after 2 weeks I asked her to wait 5 years before we got married and she did without complaining. The 5 years were up last year December and then it was my turn to keep to my part. A quick visit to Bangrak and that was it! I also gave here a credit card with her name on it but she never used it. Thanks Kinnock that was a good list and made me think a bit.

[HerbalEd]

Here's another way to tell if she truly loves you:

 

If she cuts off your penis and then packs it in ice and takes you to the hospital, she loves you.

 

If she cuts it off and feeds it to the pigs, she doesn't love you.

[oldhippy]

You want to know if she loves you?

A dandelion is the answer.

Yes she does, no she does not, yes......

[Dene16]

2 hours ago, smotherb said:

Yes, that is if you want a monetary relationship

 

Unfortunately most people here do not wish to except or realise that is exactly the relationship they are in.

Wake Up! This is Thailand no woman who is more than 20 years younger than you is with you for love. Accept that if your money runs out so will she. Even those of a similar age would of originally been based on how well you could take care of them, but have a good chance of survival.

People have married for money and power throughout time, hence, arranged marriages.

whether you met your lady in a bar or on a website she was/is there to better her life and to pick the best suitor

This could possibly be different if you met at work or environment where you were introduced as a friend etc.

Did you pick your gf for her brains (unlikely) or her looks (likely) this is normal in most relationships but that would not be the reason for her. The reasons for the sustainability of the relationship is far reaching and completely different for you and her.

Having said all that, it can still work but the question is, are you in that monetary bracket without realising it?

 

 

[GreasyFingers]

15 minutes ago, Dene16 said:

Wake Up! This is Thailand no woman who is more than 20 years younger than you is with you for love.

What if you gave her the first orgasm she ever had. Sex, not love yes, but the two are connected.

[oldhippy]

11 minutes ago, GreasyFingers said:

What if you gave her the first orgasm she ever had. Sex, not love yes, but the two are connected.

Like most men you seem to believe that stuff?

 

Edit:

"My gf is different"

"My deck is different"

 

Edited August 3, 2017 by oldhippy
edit

[HerbalEd]

9 minutes ago, GreasyFingers said:

What if you gave her the first orgasm she ever had. Sex, not love yes, but the two are connected.

That's why it's called "making love."

[Dene16]

15 minutes ago, GreasyFingers said:

What if you gave her the first orgasm she ever had. Sex, not love yes, but the two are connected.

seriously! I'm sure that 99.9% of woman would of got It the same way as you would of have.

Very deluded is all i can say.

[oldhippy]

2 minutes ago, Dene16 said:

seriously! I'm sure that 99.9% of woman would of got It the same way as you would of have.

Very deluded is all i can say.

Are you suggesting that for 99,9% of Thai women, masturbation is not a taboo?

Thailand where women want to have sex with their clothes on?

 

[Kinnock]

57 minutes ago, GreasyFingers said:

What if you gave her the first orgasm she ever had. Sex, not love yes, but the two are connected.

Does that explain your Thaivisa Name?

 

[Dene16]

13 minutes ago, oldhippy said:

Are you suggesting that for 99,9% of Thai women, masturbation is not a taboo?

Thailand where women want to have sex with their clothes on?

Yes i am, however, you make a good point

There is nothing to substantiate this taboo except reports from 25 years ago

Most Thai kids may have sex later than their western counterparts but just like all cultures kids attitudes are changing in Thailand. Many kids are under pressure now to have intercourse in their early teens the same as the western world

So why would masturbation be any different

If you lived in a village you might have a better understanding

Its just taboo for the media  to report it openly

 

[smotherb]

1 hour ago, Dene16 said:

 

Unfortunately most people here do not wish to except or realise that is exactly the relationship they are in.

Wake Up! This is Thailand no woman who is more than 20 years younger than you is with you for love. Accept that if your money runs out so will she. Even those of a similar age would of originally been based on how well you could take care of them, but have a good chance of survival.

People have married for money and power throughout time, hence, arranged marriages.

whether you met your lady in a bar or on a website she was/is there to better her life and to pick the best suitor

This could possibly be different if you met at work or environment where you were introduced as a friend etc.

Did you pick your gf for her brains (unlikely) or her looks (likely) this is normal in most relationships but that would not be the reason for her. The reasons for the sustainability of the relationship is far reaching and completely different for you and her.

Having said all that, it can still work but the question is, are you in that monetary bracket without realising it?

 

 

I think more of myself. I like both beauty and brains, wouldn't you? I want a woman who is intelligent, productive and good-looking and have always thought I deserved such a woman. My wife is more than 20 years younger than I and we have been together for almost 40 years. She was and is intelligent, productive and good-looking. She wanted to go to university, I financed that for her, but after graduation her first job with the local state government she made enough money that she no longer needed me financially. Funny, that was almost 35 years ago, and she is still here and she is the one with the pension.

[Dene16]

51 minutes ago, smotherb said:

I think more of myself. I like both beauty and brains, wouldn't you?

yes, and i am very happy for both of you having worked out for the better

Probably it was the brains that has kept you together appreciating each others intellectual ability.

However was that, each others, initial attraction?. Hers being beauty with brains and yours being the ability to provide what she needed.

You are evidence to the contrary but also in the extreme minority

Hope it continues to last (hard not to after all this time)

 

 

 

[Kinnock]

8 minutes ago, Dene16 said:

yes, and i am very happy for both of you having worked out for the better

Probably it was the brains that has kept you together appreciating each others intellectual ability.

However was that, each others, initial attraction?. Hers being beauty with brains and yours being the ability to provide what she needed.

You are evidence to the contrary but also in the extreme minority

Hope it continues to last (hard not to after all this time)

 

 

 

I think looks plus intelligence is a very attractive combination - and I think most men would agree.  Fortunately for most of us, women put less priority on looks when choosing a man. :-)

 

I'm also not sure that successful relationships are so rare here?  I think the people who've had unsuccessful ones just bleat about it more, while the successful ones are getting on with enjoying their domestic bliss.

[Dene16]

4 minutes ago, Kinnock said:

I'm also not sure that successful relationships are so rare here?  I think the people who've had unsuccessful ones just bleat about it more, while the successful ones are getting on with enjoying their domestic bliss.

Can't argue with your logic, reading too many tales on here but also listening to the hangers on in bars when ever i frequent them for a drink. I hope i continue to be the latter.