Thai puns needed

[phuketsub]

I need a few examples of Thai language puns to teach my students. Can anybody help out? Thanks.

[Chaam local]

Ask (in Thai) how many of them can swim... Not all we raise their hand, of course. Take out a bottle of water, make the "wai" sign in front of it and tell them it's pretty easy to "wai nam"!

[phuketsub]

7 minutes ago, Chaam local said:

Ask (in Thai) how many of them can swim... Not all we raise their hand, of course. Take out a bottle of water, make the "wai" sign in front of it and tell them it's pretty easy to "wai nam"!

Perfect! Why couldn't I think of that?

[Chaam local]

Oh, I have one more. If you take 10 glasses and you fill them in with water at exactly the same level, one glass will always have less water than the others. Which one? I let you think about it, haha...

[phuketsub]

2 hours ago, Chaam local said:

Oh, I have one more. If you take 10 glasses and you fill them in with water at exactly the same level, one glass will always have less water than the others. Which one? I let you think about it, haha...

I am drawing a blank on this one.

[Chou Anou]

2 hours ago, Chaam local said:

Oh, I have one more. If you take 10 glasses and you fill them in with water at exactly the same level, one glass will always have less water than the others. Which one? I let you think about it, haha...

แก้วที่หก 

[Chaam local]

1 hour ago, Chou Anou said:

แก้วที่หก 

You got it :)

 

Same kind of joke, there are 10 people standing on the edge of a cliff. Which one is going to fall down?

[Chou Anou]

26 minutes ago, Chaam local said:

You got it :)

 

Same kind of joke, there are 10 people standing on the edge of a cliff. Which one is going to fall down?

ที่หกเหมือนกัน 

 

Okay, here's one: an old woman from the provinces arrives at หัวลำโพง station on her first trip ever to Bangkok.  She tells a tuk tuk driver where she needs to go, they negotiate a price, and finally the tuk tuk driver says โอเค!  Not knowing any English, the woman asks him what โอเค means; he explains it's a way of saying ตกลง.  

 

They set off through the streets, and at one point hit a huge bump, and the old woman's wallet drops onto the road out of the tuk tuk.  Remembering what he just taught her, she frantically yells to the driver:  น้อง! กระเป๋าตังค์ป้าโอเค! กระเป๋าตังค์ป้าโอเค!!  Of course, the driver just nods and keeps on driving...

[Chou Anou]

Here's a Lao (Isan) one: a farang is traveling through Isan, and speaks no Thai or Lao.  Near the market, he sees a kid eating ข้าวต้มมัด.  It looks tasty to the farang, and he wants to buy one himself.  He asks the kid, "how much"? (when you tell the joke in Thai, of course you have to pronounce "much" as Thais do, มัด).

 

The kid answers: เฮาบ่อได้มัด! แม่เฮามัด! 

[Chaam local]

44 minutes ago, Chou Anou said:

ที่หกเหมือนกัน 

 

No... คนที่เก้า (ก้าว)!

[Chou Anou]

3 minutes ago, Chaam local said:

No... คนที่เก้า (ก้าว)!

Ah, okay.  Was trying to make หกล้ม work...but yes, ก้าว is definitely better!

[digbeth]

Which teacher is the poorest in the school?

 

Mrs. วันเพ็ญ

[digbeth]

I can only managed to recall the bilingual ones... 

 

 

On a visit to an in laws house in Isaan, they all went out to celebrate, once they arrived at the restaurant the son in law from Bangkok got out of the car as the father in law back the vigo into the car parking space... 'are we there yet?' the father in law asks... "บ่อ" yelled the son in law... repeats a few more time and after frenetic and repeated cry of บ่อๆๆๆ by the son in law, the family vigo is now in pond

[tgeezer]

Do these 'puns' work on Thai native speakers?
I don't want to ruin anybody's day because it can be useful to play around like this but I have to point out that the length of vowel changes the word and I am not sure that native speakers would accept ว่าย = ไว้่ย, เก้า = ก้าว those two seem on a par with:
Q. Out of ten men which one needs to see a doctor?
A. The sick one. ( the sixth one)
The best one I know is a play on เลย
I can tell it but can't write it because I can't remember the first part of the ponch line.
คุณครับ คุณเป็นคนเลยใช่ไหม
ไม่ใช่
เป็นสิ หน้าตาไม่เหมือนคนเลย
I told it on the golf course once and got a favourable reaction but that is no indication that I got the เป็นสิ right, Thais tend to indulge us so we can never be sure.
Does anybody have any ideas?


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[tgeezer]

I have just had a chat on Facetime with the Thai who first told me the เลย joke.

คุณใช่จังหวัดเลยหรือเปล่า

ไม่ใช่ครับ

โอ๋ มิน่าดูเหมือนคนเลย

 

I also mentioned เก้า ก้าย etc. and was admonished for being too serious, "Thai people love to joke about the language", so forget my observations.

I then have to assume that Mrs. วันเพ็ญ is the poorest teacher and that the เฮามัด one makes sense as well, so will somebody tell me how?

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

 

 

[digbeth]

4 hours ago, tgeezer said:

 

I then have to assume that Mrs. วันเพ็ญ is the poorest teacher and that the เฮามัด one makes sense as well, so will somebody tell me how?

 

 

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because she only has 'one pen'

 

 

The one about ข้าวต้มมัด which is rice wrapped in leaves and tied, hence the name. 'how much' was asked by the farand and in Issan, it is construed as 'I/you tied it?' to which the kid replied, 'no I didn't my mom tied it'

[Chou Anou]

10 hours ago, tgeezer said:

Do these 'puns' work on Thai native speakers?
I don't want to ruin anybody's day because it can be useful to play around like this but I have to point out that the length of vowel changes the word and I am not sure that native speakers would accept ว่าย = ไว้่ย, เก้า = ก้าว those two seem on a par with:
Q. Out of ten men which one needs to see a doctor?
A. The sick one. ( the sixth one)
The best one I know is a play on เลย
I can tell it but can't write it because I can't remember the first part of the ponch line.
คุณครับ คุณเป็นคนเลยใช่ไหม
ไม่ใช่
เป็นสิ หน้าตาไม่เหมือนคนเลย
I told it on the golf course once and got a favourable reaction but that is no indication that I got the เป็นสิ right, Thais tend to indulge us so we can never be sure.
Does anybody have any ideas?


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Yes, they absolutely work.  My girlfriend thought the เก้า / ก้าว one was hilarious.

[Chou Anou]

8 hours ago, tgeezer said:

I have just had a chat on Facetime with the Thai who first told me the เลย joke.

คุณใช่จังหวัดเลยหรือเปล่า

ไม่ใช่ครับ

โอ๋ มิน่าดูเหมือนคนเลย

 

I also mentioned เก้า ก้าย etc. and was admonished for being too serious, "Thai people love to joke about the language", so forget my observations.

I then have to assume that Mrs. วันเพ็ญ is the poorest teacher and that the เฮามัด one makes sense as well, so will somebody tell me how?

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

 

 

เฮา is the Lao pronunciation of เรา...though the meaning is not exactly the same...using เฮา in Lao as a singular first person pronoun is rather rough and crude, potentially arrogant on the part of the speaker (it's fine used as inclusive "we;" non-inclusive "we" is พวกเฮา).  but it works in the joke because it wouldn't be unusual for a kid to talk that way, especially to a farang, and especially when the farang initiated it.  if that joke is told right, I guarantee it will get a hearty laugh out of any Lao speaker (who also happens to know the English phrase "how much," and I would assume that a huge portion of the population does, especially when one pronounces it the Thai way).  There's a store in the Udon airport called "How Much," with a big English sign out front...when I told that joke to the owner, he doubled over in laughter for several minutes.

[digbeth]

10 hours ago, tgeezer said:

Do these 'puns' work on Thai native speakers?
I am not sure that native speakers would accept ว่าย = ไว้่ย, เก้า = ก้าว those two seem on a par 

เก้า / ก้าว homophones is how the number nine become to be regarded as auspicious in Thailand as in ก้าวหน้า 

[phuketsub]

I was really looking for pure Thai puns, but another one that comes to mind now as a 'bilingual' pun is the old classic:

Q: นกอะไรอยู่ในทะเล?
A:  นกอินทรีย์ ( นก in sea ) ?

[p_brownstone]

What Province in Thailand are elephants afraid of?

 

พังงา

 

Patrick