Support Group

[MiG16]

Exactly 4 months ago I lost my beloved Julie. Shes a fox terrier, been with us a little over 20 years. I know that she was starting to suffer in the last couple of months of her life, but even then it doesnt quite make dealing with her loss any easier

Im hoping the 'somewhat' anonymity of a web forum will at least make me able to share this without getting too personal and therefore overly emotional. I guess a way to let things out.......

thanks for reading

[londonthai]

time for you for another pet?

[thaigerd]

She's gone now over the rainbow bridge into a wonderful world.

Playing with many other happy dogs who are all waiting for their masters.

You'll meet her again don't worry!

Try to get another dog (I know, very easy to say).

My feelings are with you.

Gerd

[Skyline]

MiG,

Im sorry to hear you lost her:(

I found this on a Bulldog website a few weeks ago whilst looking at the possibility of adopting another Bulldog.

Its some very sad thoughts by owners that have lost dogs.May help you though.

Made me very tearful:(

http://www.rescuebulldogs.org/memorials/memorials.htm

[The Thai Whisperer]

Mi16.... My heart goes out to you, Three Month’s ago we bought a Puppy

And as with so many Thais, my wife put the puppy in the front of her motorcycle basket

And you can guess what happened, well we debited for month’s weather to get a

Second puppy, and we did, it’s been the best thing we could have done, so I would say

Its time to let her go , and find a new friend to share your life and affection .

TTW

[udon]

I'm saddened to read of your loss of a good pal of 20 years.

As others have suggested, get a puppy to focus on ASAP.

Good luck.

[Patsycat]

Brings back memories of lost pets - they do seem to echo around but the next one will be as lovely and loveling and sweet and loving and perhaps with a little bit of her sister inside which may come from you in the way you raise her...

Sorry. xxx

[sbk]

Exactly 4 months ago I lost my beloved Julie. Shes a fox terrier, been with us a little over 20 years. I know that she was starting to suffer in the last couple of months of her life, but even then it doesnt quite make dealing with her loss any easier

Im hoping the 'somewhat' anonymity of a web forum will at least make me able to share this without getting too personal and therefore overly emotional. I guess a way to let things out.......

thanks for reading

timely post Mig16, very timely.

My 16 year old kitty is losing her battle with kidney failure and stomach cancer. I know she has had a wonderful life and been very happy but it doesn't make it any easier, does it?

Having a pet for so long and then losing them is very difficult, eventually the pain lessens and you can remember them without too much grief. Takes awhile tho

[Neeranam]

My condolences - I empathize, knowing what it's like to lose a long time friend - it get's better as time passes

[Tywais]

A couple of years ago my wife and I lost an old time friend, a terrier, and it was especially devastating for her. Shortly after, she brought home a puppy who quickly took after eating our shoes and kept us busy. Still have pictures of our terrier in our picture cabinet, fond memories. Highly recommend getting a new puppy, it's not a replacement but a new start.

[Nienke]

Exactly 4 months ago I lost my beloved Julie. Shes a fox terrier, been with us a little over 20 years. I know that she was starting to suffer in the last couple of months of her life, but even then it doesnt quite make dealing with her loss any easier

Im hoping the 'somewhat' anonymity of a web forum will at least make me able to share this without getting too personal and therefore overly emotional. I guess a way to let things out.......

thanks for reading

I'm so sorry for your loss, MiG16. Over 20 years ... Julie had become part of your life. Loosing her means loosing a part of yourself. And then, 4 months is nothing, as if it only happened a few days ago.

Personally, I would not advice in favor of a new dog/puppy so quickly. The danger exists that you may project Julie in this new dog, and that one will never be able to put up to these expectations. I favor more to go through the grieving process first, how hard and painful that may be. You will know when the time is ripe for a new dog.

How one goes through the grieving process is personal. At the time I lost my little boxer, I put her picture everywhere (still got her pic's in my wallet, and she passed away 3 years ago!). I also made a special place/altar with her picture, candles and some incentines that i lit everyday. Everyday, stood in front of this little altar and spend some moments with her (usually with tears poring down). I still do this once in a while, but it is definitely a lot less. My daily ritual, helped me a great deal in the grieving process. One thing I didn't do and that is surpressing my feelings I had (and still have) for my little boxer.

Wishing you a lot of strenght in your grieving,

Nienke

[MiG16]

thanks everyone for all your kind words. I dont think I will be getting a new puppy anytime soon though...for a number of reasons....one I think I will feel even more guilty...its as if I were trying to replace her. also for practical reason...since Im not home enough it would not be very good to have a lil pup sitting at home waiting for me to return...or having to send her to my Mom's or elsewhere if I were to go away on trips....not long...say a week at a time, but thats like eternity to leave your dog in someone else's care.. they arent as easy as cats are they...where you could perhaps ask someone to drop by every couple of days to leave some food and water...

but if you see a grown woman eyeing cute little dogs and puppies on the street of Bangkok...then that might be me

maybe I can put this love for dogs and the special relationship I have with Julie to some productive use...maybe I can offer a dog-sitting service

anyone in need of a pup-sitter? I come highly recommended

[MiG16]

My 16 year old kitty is losing her battle with kidney failure and stomach cancer. I know she has had a wonderful life and been very happy but it doesn't make it any easier, does it?

Having a pet for so long and then losing them is very difficult, eventually the pain lessens and you can remember them without too much grief. Takes awhile tho

SBK, sorry to hear this. must be hard to see her suffer. Julie had a mostly good life I think. she had an operation once a few years ago (maybe 4)...at the time she wasnt eating...I was beginning to worry (as you do when your dog is 16 and stops to eat!) so we kept giving her vitamins..the liquid kind...which would boost up her appetite temporarily. anyway, after a while we thought a thorough check up was needed, which was a good thing. they found somethine inside her tummy, removed it (sorry for the details ) but my point is after that she was as lively and cheerful as a young puppy!!! when I looked at her then, and the fact that she survived that big trauma at such a age..I really thought she would live forever! it was like youth had been brought back into her

and well I guess at 20.5 years for a dog..that is ALMOST forever

I do hope your kitty will recover too....but whatever the case....I hope you will be ok...and if you need to talk, just send me a message

a lil pat for the kitty for me

[sbk]

My 16 year old kitty is losing her battle with kidney failure and stomach cancer. I know she has had a wonderful life and been very happy but it doesn't make it any easier, does it?

Having a pet for so long and then losing them is very difficult, eventually the pain lessens and you can remember them without too much grief. Takes awhile tho

SBK, sorry to hear this. must be hard to see her suffer. Julie had a mostly good life I think. she had an operation once a few years ago (maybe 4)...at the time she wasnt eating...I was beginning to worry (as you do when your dog is 16 and stops to eat!) so we kept giving her vitamins..the liquid kind...which would boost up her appetite temporarily. anyway, after a while we thought a thorough check up was needed, which was a good thing. they found somethine inside her tummy, removed it (sorry for the details ) but my point is after that she was as lively and cheerful as a young puppy!!! when I looked at her then, and the fact that she survived that big trauma at such a age..I really thought she would live forever! it was like youth had been brought back into her

and well I guess at 20.5 years for a dog..that is ALMOST forever

I do hope your kitty will recover too....but whatever the case....I hope you will be ok...and if you need to talk, just send me a message

a lil pat for the kitty for me

thanks mig, but no, it appears to be terminal. Probably in the next few days. Worst part is I can't be there to comfort her in her final days as I am currently in the US helping my parents out. I am not sorry I am here but am very sorry she can't be with me in her final days I have talked to her on the phone every day and my husband said she appears to respond to my voice on the phone. Meowed into the receiver the other night. Nearly made me cry

So, it helps to hear about others, even if it makes me a bit weepy eyed. She is not the first pet I have lost but she is the closest and the one I have had the longest.

[MiG16]

a very big hug to you SBK

it makes me weepy eyed too reading about your kitty

but i think you raised her well, she sounds like a smart kitty...being female helps ofcourse

ok ok sorry wrong post..this isnt the male bashing one is it

ok sorry...Im not very good at keeping the serious tone for too long.

but take care sweetie, and really you are doing what you best can.....your husband will take care of lil kitty in the meantime.

my Julie was very lucky...she died in my brother's arms...for that Im so thankful that she wasnt alone.

[Nienke]

... I dont think I will be getting a new puppy anytime soon though...

...also for practical reason...since Im not home enough it would not be very good to have a lil pup sitting at home waiting for me to return...or having to send her to my Mom's or elsewhere if I were to go away on trips....not long...say a week at a time, but thats like eternity to leave your dog in someone else's care.. they arent as easy as cats are they...where you could perhaps ask someone to drop by every couple of days to leave some food and water...

Thanks MiG, this is what we call 'showing responsibility for the well-being of your pet'!!!

Although, I do not completely agree with your cat-theory. Also they can be pretty miserable when the owner isn't coming home for a couple of days.

Nienke

P.S. What is 'lil'?

[Nienke]

My 16 year old kitty is losing her battle with kidney failure and stomach cancer. I know she has had a wonderful life and been very happy but it doesn't make it any easier, does it?

Having a pet for so long and then losing them is very difficult, eventually the pain lessens and you can remember them without too much grief. Takes awhile tho

thanks mig, but no, it appears to be terminal. Probably in the next few days. Worst part is I can't be there to comfort her in her final days as I am currently in the US helping my parents out. I am not sorry I am here but am very sorry she can't be with me in her final days I have talked to her on the phone every day and my husband said she appears to respond to my voice on the phone. Meowed into the receiver the other night. Nearly made me cry

So, it helps to hear about others, even if it makes me a bit weepy eyed. She is not the first pet I have lost but she is the closest and the one I have had the longest.

Also you, sbk, I would like to wish lots of strenght in this difficult time especially as you can't be there during her final days. Luckily, your husband is with her.

Nienke

[MiG16]

lil = little

i guess my cat knowledge is not so accurate then?

Ive never owned a cat..BUT

have had a number of incidences where they seem to hmm whats the word.... imposed themselves on me??

once i had 2 kittys living in my house for a while I think!! I will admit I was somewhat mean cos i didnt give them any food!! yet they didnt leave....hmmm....but i think they were feeding from their Mom, and would sneak in to sleep at my place hmmm

how did I know? every once in a while I heard them meowing...and one night I was walking home..saw the 2 lil ones snuggled up to their mom, then they saw me approach...guess what they did...Mom ran one direction AWAY from my house...and the 2 kittys????ran INSIDE!! they acted like they lived there and were caught sneaking out hehehe how cute

one other time...there was another stray that gave birth to 4 kittys, one died right away and the others were sooooooooo thin....felt like u could almost see their bones so I was feeding them milk everyday...they were so easy to take care of..didnt make a fuss about whatever kind of milk was given to them some were telling me...hey do u know what u are doing..they are suppose to drink this and that and this and that..and i said well im just giving them what I have they didnt seem to mind

ermm am I getting off topic again? sighhhh I think I have ADD

[sbk]

Well, my cat died this morning (last night Thailand time). We both knew it was coming and, according to my husband, it was a bit of a relief because she was so ill. Selfish me, wanted her to stick around longer. But, she had a long, healthy happy life which is all we can ask for in life.

Lizzie, 16 years old.

[MiG16]

SBK Im so sorry to hear about your loss. but yes the only comfort we can take is taht they definitely have had a nice life and are always loved so much

my best wishes to you

and a hug

[MiG16]

Ive posted a short note about the loss of Julie on my blog. I think that helps in some way.....one of my little way of saying no matter what, she will not be forgotten

[Scott]

Mig16 and SBK: My thoughts are with both of you, it so difficult to lose a pet. They provide us with so much when they are alive and it seems like we just can't know what they understand about their own passing. There is such a desire to protect them and get them to understand or to help them, like they have helped us in difficult times. But we can't.

I've had a lot of pets, and lost a lot of pets. It never gets easier, but I just keep having them because the time with them is so precious.

[MiG16]

Mig16 and SBK: My thoughts are with both of you, it so difficult to lose a pet. They provide us with so much when they are alive and it seems like we just can't know what they understand about their own passing. There is such a desire to protect them and get them to understand or to help them, like they have helped us in difficult times. But we can't.

I've had a lot of pets, and lost a lot of pets. It never gets easier, but I just keep having them because the time with them is so precious.

thanks for your kind words Scott. and you definitely are very strong. it takes a lot of strength to do that...knowingly open up to letting these wonderful animals into your home and your heart, knowing how much it can hurt when you lose them.

Im glad there are people like you and many of the others on this forum who have cared so untiringly for an amazing amount of animals.

I bow to you all in appreciation and admiration

[Old Man River]

Well, my cat died this morning (last night Thailand time). We both knew it was coming and, according to my husband, it was a bit of a relief because she was so ill. Selfish me, wanted her to stick around longer. But, she had a long, healthy happy life which is all we can ask for in life.

Lizzie, 16 years old.

Many don't understand that a pet really becomes a family member, especially when they have been there day in and day out for 16 years. Get another cat (or dog). Not as a replacement for Lizzie, but rather as another companion.

[sbk]

Well, my cat died this morning (last night Thailand time). We both knew it was coming and, according to my husband, it was a bit of a relief because she was so ill. Selfish me, wanted her to stick around longer. But, she had a long, healthy happy life which is all we can ask for in life.

Lizzie, 16 years old.

Many don't understand that a pet really becomes a family member, especially when they have been there day in and day out for 16 years. Get another cat (or dog). Not as a replacement for Lizzie, but rather as another companion.

I still have 5 dogs.

I will get another cat, eventually. And it will definitely be a rescue, most likely from the local temple. But, I think next time I will get two, they can keep each other company.

[Old Man River]

Well, my cat died this morning (last night Thailand time). We both knew it was coming and, according to my husband, it was a bit of a relief because she was so ill. Selfish me, wanted her to stick around longer. But, she had a long, healthy happy life which is all we can ask for in life.

Lizzie, 16 years old.

Many don't understand that a pet really becomes a family member, especially when they have been there day in and day out for 16 years. Get another cat (or dog). Not as a replacement for Lizzie, but rather as another companion.

I still have 5 dogs.

I will get another cat, eventually. And it will definitely be a rescue, most likely from the local temple. But, I think next time I will get two, they can keep each other company.

I am surprised your dogs get along with the cats. Every time an unsuspecting cat wanders into our yard, they are not warmly received.

[MiG16]

in many instances i have seen cats and dogs share truly affectionate moments. some even show motherly instincts to the other, esp when they have been brought up in same house

[suegha]

This is a really nice thread. When I lost my dogs (both died within a short period of time) I was devastated. Wept many tears, especially when reminded of things we used to do together.

I, like other posters, could not get another dog, I'd feel like I was trying to replace the ones I'd lost. I know it sounds silly, but I just can't even contemplate it.

[MiG16]

suegha

I can totally understand that. each will deal with our loss differently. for some it is easier to share and spread the love and care to other needy animals around us, and thats a very noble act.

yet for others, the thought of having to go through that pain again is just too much to bear.

either case, you all deserve big praise for your love and caring that you each have provided to the little ones.

my best wishes to you and your wife on this. with any loss, most times you never forget, just that as time passes it becomes little bit less painful, and somewhat easier to deal with. I hope you have gotten to that stage.

take care.

PS. I still remember my Julie all the time.....and every now and then when I talk to Mom on the phone have to bite my tongue from asking how she (Julie) is doing.....(she was staying with my Mom and back then anytime we talked Id ask about her and sometime Mom would put her close to phone couldnt hear her though...she was never much of a noisy dog) now when we talk about my Mom's house we refer to it as Julie's house

[quiksilva]

My childhood friend died of old age (14) on my 21st Birthday, he was a placid, lazy, ever hungry, Lab Collie cross. I cried for a week.

That was over a decade ago and I still miss him terribly but I have reached the stage now where I am ready for a dog of my own, despite all the pain his loss brought us. Today what I remember is how great it was to have him with us.

Any new dog will never be seen as a replacement, just a new member of the familly.