Like Gottfrid said, talk to your wife what she likes. How would people on a forum know. Don't bother to marry if you can't talk to each other about important things.
No they won't, he has already been there. For the Labour office you need written permission for your holiday. Anyone can say they had verbal permission.
"I took a trip to the U.K. without a re entry permit on my retirement extension ( from a 2016 OA visa ) intentionally."
Did you do this because you didn't maintain the 400K during the rest of the year?