Extracting the urine is a national trait for us Brits.
Once extracted, a further source is sought.
A true Essex man, it is clear Owl, will never move beyond stage one in this project
Regarding football, hope and despair go hand in hand if you are a true supporter of your local team(s).
Born in Southampton, I cheer on the Saints' attempts to remain in the Premier League, whilst spending my teenage years in Hull, I always look out for The Tigers in The Championship.
Luckily, my loyalty and love for these overpaid performers only stretches as far as a cursory glance at the Saturday results.
Entertaining, attacking football, yes! Otherwise - boring
Last night I dreamt Queen Elizabeth and the Duke came to my old school. Being the resident farang, I was told to go out and greet them.
My hair was disheveled, I looked rough, but Liz was kind and invited me to sit on the back seat of their Morris Minor.
' So where should we go then?' she asked. 'I gather you've been here for some time.'
'Ban Dung, ma'am,' I replied.
'Full speed ahead, Giles!' she answered laughing to the Duke behind the wheel