thehelmsman

At about 4 yrs old our 3 yr old girl will start St. Josephs. In our area that's as good as it gets. By age 7 I hope to stop working, stay home full time and move south to find an affordable school with a decent english program. I see college as a necessity in todays world, sort of like my obligation as a father to provide the best I can. But in the end happiness is what we are all after.

Overweight gentlemen at the beach who wear the euro style nut huggers swim wear, with vertical smiley face in the back - And lets not forget the older, heavy set ladies in 2 pc. bikinis who should perhaps find more suitable beach wear.

I came for the 99baht American breakfast.

Let's see, if I got this right. Farang marries Thai- Lady after 5 months. Now him does not even remember where he lived with her. No address, No phone number, no e-mail address. Apparently same on wifes side.

Clearly. the beginning of a fruitful multy cultural marriage.

I am sure this is not a troll. Nobody could dream up such a pathetic story.

Cheers.

The only pathetic post is yours, Where did he post they are newly married? Not all wives are computer savy.

So, you have kids with your Thai wife. Alot of talk about Thailand's education system. What is your idea of a bright future for your kids? Boy or girl will make a difference I would think. I have a girl and debate - school in Thailand or school in the states? As adults, would they be happier in Thailand or the states?

I'm leaning towards staying in Thailand where the family bond is much stronger. Perhaps moving to an area of better schools. Not everyone can afford International school fees of $1000./Mo and up.

Not all our half thai kids will be movie stars although I'm sure many mothers are secretly hoping so. I'm betting good english speaking skills will be a big plus. Those with older kids, What path are they on?

And, those with young kids - What are your expectations?

"How many kids do you have?" is one of the first questions I get asked by Thais. When I say I don't have any, they look at me as if I have somehow been negligent in my duties.

The next question is usually, "But who will look after you when you get old?"

And here lies a huge difference between Thai and Western values. In Australia, our culture is to grow our assets in our younger years so we can live on a nest-egg when we are older. The welfare system will also prop us up in times of financial and health needs.

Thais, on the other hand, generally are incapable or unprepared to save money, and with no such state assistance, the elderly often rely on family for support. The need for a Thai man to start a family becomes urgent if he is approaching middle age.

I am 52 years old, and I gave up any plan of bringing a baby into this world when I was about 40. I would want to be a father to my child, not a grandfather.

I respect that and everyone should have their own thoughts on their capacity or inclination to be a parent. For me, however, it's completely different. Although at nearly 55 I'd pretty much given up on the thought of having children, I couldn't be more delighted in having a son last month. I'm tempted to post another photo...........but I won't as I don't want to become a middle-aged baby bore.....

And so here's another one that couldn't be more delighted to have a kid.

The topic is not about you but the age of parents, particularly the western Father.

By my rational, you are too old to be the sharp, energetic Father so, if you don't mind me asking, "what sort of physical, mental and financial state are you in?"

Do you have the financial resources to send your kid to a western school equivalent?

Is your health favourable (your mothers and fathers health provide the best yardstick) enough to see your kid well into adulthood?

And last question; what's the go with the mother?

Reason I ask this question is that every doting father includes the mother as in "we are delighted in having our first son last month". That's every father I know, here and abroad.

Why is that a western style school is required for any happiness and sucess in Thailand?

Brewster - Hold back the pics. Congrats and all that on the baby, We all know this is one of those topics that will never be resolved.

I respect that and everyone should have their own thoughts on their capacity or inclination to be a parent. For me, however, it's completely different. Although at nearly 55 I'd pretty much given up on the thought of having children, I couldn't be more delighted in having a son last month. I'm tempted to post another photo...........but I won't as I don't want to become a middle-aged baby bore.....

Go on, do it, the kids' really cute, well worth another photo (or two).

This is not the topic for baby photos. There are other places for that

It reminds me of that nauseatingly sycophant member who would post photo after photo and mention his two young children in nearly every post he made. It was over the top.

I cannot remember seeing him for the several weeks I have been back on here. His name was something like 'Danny'.

What happened to him? Not important,just wondering.

Don't you know, we're not allowed to talk about HIM anymore. Papa's listening.

Nice original, never done before post and what did it do but bring out the village idiots. You know who you are,

When driving mine is always ready to hand me what snack may be available so I don't have to take eyes off the road.

I've found it better to have a good thai omellete with steamed rice instead of being continueously disappointed with a so called western breakfast.

People that think every man came here for the whores. Or that anyone who doesn't use them must be either gay or a religious puritan of some kind.

You're getting closer. I'm sure you'll get it all sorted out with alittle more professiona;l help.

OP, he has written before....we all have a story to tell.

Why does it come across that you want to write everybody his/her story according to your way of thinking ?

On the outset it seems that you are concerned with the best interest for the child. However your ongoing judgements about, and to, fathers who have done it differently really lose momentum. Its arrogant and pushy. I truly hope that, if you have kids yourself, your attitude is different. For their sake.

The idea of posting a topic is to engage in debate. Yes, i have my views, and i have expressed them.

Some others, I do not agree with their view. Normal i think. The best way to get your opinions across, is to,well...is to actually express those ideas. Get it?

We have raised two children. The frollettes are young adults now.

I would never have children again at my age.

We have some good friends husband and father is 62 - wife and mother is 32 - their little boy is almost 2yrs. They have a business, make decent money, everyone talks openly about the age difference. It's not like if they don't talk about it - it doesn't exist. And, lastly they're both Thai.

If everyone speaks openly about the situation, then nothing a stranger will say has an effect. The kid will learn at home that family is important and what some little twit at school has to say doesn't matter because the little twit learns from his twitty parents.

Wolly- You go a bit further than simply having an opinion to preaching - Go play with the grand kids and stop worrying what others do.

I'm 62, have a 3 year old. Very happy with lots of money. Been married 5 years and my wife is now 26. Much support in our family. My child will be taken care of very well. You don't need to be concerned.

You can never know about the feeling, reasons, or love of life until you can walk in the shoes that carry this joy. Hopefully you can learn something by reading these comments and better understand how important it is to open your mind a little bit more.

I bet she's happy, you've got lots of money.

Your child will be taken very good care of......and so will the family hahahaha.

Blackfox - Why do insist on insulting a man and his family? jealousy....maybe - I've found in life when someone tries raining on your parade that jealousy is often the reason.

Perhaps the reason is lack of funds - No lady even a poor Isaan would would want you, you're so poor.

Could be you can't point and shoot - Hmmm.

Helmsman,

In answer to your questions;

No, not jealous.

Financially secure to raise a family.

Can point and shoot.

You are wrong on all counts so I'll give you reasoning.

1st: The education system is shitful in this country. It would mean taking my family back to my home country for a far better education, standard of life, and opportunity.

I see it as a duty having the western passport to provide the BEST opportunity for a child. The best opportunities are abroad, not here.

2nd: My wife is 7 years younger from a very good family here in BKK.

I wouldn't want my child associating with luk krueng children from a lower social standing.

This is very difficult as I don't know many expats with a wife of the same class.

I know what you're thinking, but it's how I feel and each person, as has been previously stated, is entitled to their opinion.

3rd: My wife and I don't need a child to be any happier than we already are.

I'm 45 soon. I love my wife and life just the way it is.

If a child comes along, then it's a huge game changer, but we have discussed and planned accordingly.

My wife and I do a lot of business around town and not once have we been viewed in bad light.

I'm 6ft, slim, strong, full head of hair, handsome and speak the language.

My wife is a former model.

Yep, we get great nods of approval by Thais and regular looks of envy.

Lastly, it sickens me seeing the old geezer with the significantly younger girl and kid in tow.

If you're past it, don't breed.

My feelings; breeding is for those under 50.

Age difference max is 15 years.

There's my answer Helmsman.

Society thanks you for not having any children, you've made the right decision.

Just had my first child and I'll be 55 in a few months. Best thing that's ever happened to me!

Say that when you are 80....lol.

Please explain the lol, I missed the joke.

And on the note of age-gap which some other members have mentioned.

I think anything up to 10 years is fine, though if the woman is 10 years older there may be some sex drive problems, since men tend to have a higher sex drive by nature.

If the age gap goes over 10 years, then I think 15 years is the absolute maximum, in any case. After that, it starts to seem seriously abnormal and probably dysfunctional, in most cases. There may be a few rare exceptions.

If I were with a woman 20 years younger or more, i would feel a little ashamed in front of my family "back home".

Since this topic is about fathering children, one important thing to consider: how will your child feel in a family where Dad is so much older than Mum? Could it result in bullying at school or in the neighbourhood? Emotional damage? Feeling like he or she belongs to a weird family?

An important thing one learns as an adult is not to care to much what others think of you. You seem to be lacking in that department.

You have to admit that even the Filipinos don't want to live in the PI...at least the ones that I've met. Where do you live, btw?

Incorrect. I know many who have married friends...and myself 30 years ago...and lived in the states. They all want to go back to PI..... with money of course.

same idea as the Isaan gal returning with the fat farang wallet and making her mark.

In the Philippines, it is very tribal... People in a Barrio are like a big family. It is the social interaction that is missing completely where I live in Udon, now. The Filipinos are all out in the streets mingling with neighbors, singing, drinking outside and kind of hanging out. Thai people stay indoors when at home. Filipinos stay outdoors....and group up. It is kind of festive. They organize into Barkadas (packs of close friends) and roam around... They miss that alot

If you ever really talk to a Filipina/Filipino in the USA ....they will seem happy, but you can see they miss their Barrio and Barkada of friends... and will get misty eyed.... You need to see how happy they are when they get back herE..

The part about Thais staying indoors is not the way it is where I'm at. We're always outdoors in the village way up north. Only go inside for sleeping and bad weather.

And how many men had some of those women had sex with before you got to them?

You know, that was a tad bit creepy of you to post. What ever happened to you as a child is a shame.........Poor lad..

Where is "Canarysun" when needed??

I'm 62, have a 3 year old. Very happy with lots of money. Been married 5 years and my wife is now 26. Much support in our family. My child will be taken care of very well. You don't need to be concerned.

You can never know about the feeling, reasons, or love of life until you can walk in the shoes that carry this joy. Hopefully you can learn something by reading these comments and better understand how important it is to open your mind a little bit more.

Yeah cos a man simply can't experience the true

joy of fatherhood until he's reached 60, right?

God, give me strength

I don't agree with your comments.

I don't care; it's what you seemed to

be implying.

Never mind. It's your choice to have a

wife nearly 40 years your junior and if

you can cope with knowing that she

and her family could potentially just be

waiting for you to pop off and leave the

money, good for you.

The guy sounds truely happy with being a father, Why do some posters feel it necessary to bring him down. he simply said that his finances are in order. It would seem that many are jealous of the fact that some have the money to start a new life in Thailand. As much as you will deny this, its usually the case that jealousy is the reason for nastiness.

I'm 62, have a 3 year old. Very happy with lots of money. Been married 5 years and my wife is now 26. Much support in our family. My child will be taken care of very well. You don't need to be concerned.

You can never know about the feeling, reasons, or love of life until you can walk in the shoes that carry this joy. Hopefully you can learn something by reading these comments and better understand how important it is to open your mind a little bit more.

I bet she's happy, you've got lots of money.

Your child will be taken very good care of......and so will the family hahahaha.

Blackfox - Why do insist on insulting a man and his family? jealousy....maybe - I've found in life when someone tries raining on your parade that jealousy is often the reason.

Perhaps the reason is lack of funds - No lady even a poor Isaan would would want you, you're so poor.

Could be you can't point and shoot - Hmmm.

Anyway, if I had a half-Thai kid, I'd be asking my wife some pretty serious questions.

I have and I don't see what the big deal is. Sometimes parents are the ones to make something into a problem. My little girl is loved by many including family and neighbors. No problem.

and what u do at 45 in Thailand? bar, beach, and then? .

Repeat, Repeat, Repeat.........................

Let's not get carried away here guys, Thailand is only good for what it is.

Take the easy girls out of Thailand and you wouldn't want to touch it.

They wouldn't want to touch you too if you didn't have money.

You can also get nice beaches in other countries and not 6000 miles away!

Have a nice day Handsome Man!

Speak for yourself. Not all of us came here for the girls.

Seems like those who came here because they actually liked the place tend to be happier than those who just wanted to get laid.

Fair point and right with some as I used to have a mate who came here and fell in love every five minutes but was more unhappy when they left him for another, though I think the majority go there to be laid.

For many guys who work overseas on a rotation, a little 2 week stop over in Thailand on their way home for R&R is a nice break from working 12 hrs 7 days /wk. A place where rooms are inexpensive, nightlife is awesome, beaches aren't fantastic but very laid back. What's not to like. The available ladies are a big plus. You want to label these guys sex-pats then so be it. Very few single guys who go out in pattaya or similiar places and aren't smitten with the ladies are rare I'd have to say. Does this means all the guys who get laid in Thailand are sexpats?

The single guy who comes to Thailand for R&R and never sets foot in a GoGo bar ot a beer bar is the exception.

For some, you come to Thailand with a lucrative job awaiting here and that is fantastic. You came to Thailand for a job and thats great. Some arrive with your wives from your home country. But, why look down upon the rest. Many different reasons for settling in Thailand. Some of us come to appreciate the laid back lifestyle, not living in a daily rat race. The beaches in the USA are probably nicer than some I've enjoyed in Thailand. But it's just a much different, more laid back deal here in Thailand.

Don't try to catogorize all foreigners.

When you buy a big bike, it's because you want a big bike. I like the new SR 400 but I can't pull the trigger at 265,000baht. I'll stick with the raider 150. It's not about not having the money, it's about feeling ripped off.

Hows about a new forum "Foreigners who leave Thailand, go back to the USA and spend every waking moment posting about why they hate Thailand sooo much and why the USA is so much better" OK OK The title needs some work but you get the idea. Whad you think??

I have the Raider 150, bought new last year. I like it, I had to have a bike to call my own. Storage is nil, barely enough room for chain tightening wrenches under seat. Need to have a custom rack like a mini sissy bar in back to strap traveling bag onto. Carb has been no problem so far. Last year cost 67,000 baht new.