fruittbatt

Owned by a nice Italian-Thai couple who remain cheerful and determined despite lack of clientele. I don't eat pasta/pizza in Thailand but have bought take-away choco mousse and tiramisu for Mr FB who makes very appreciative noises and goes back for more!

The most important pre-requisite is strong motivation. Once you are sufficiently motivated, cut out all sugar (except what is already present in restaurant food) and all dairy products. Minimise your intake of coconut milk-based dishes, bread, rice, pasta. Do not drink alcohol. If you must, drink only spirits, no beer, no wine, no soft-drink mixers.

Drink at least two litres of water each day, plus tea, coffee, soda with lime, one fresh orange juice, clear soups. Dishes like clear noodle-soups with meat/vegies are reasonably satisfying and nutritious. Seafood, heaps of vegetables, meat, boiled eggs, a little rice, a little papaya, pomelo are good foods for weight-loss. Once a week treat yourself to a coconut-milk-based curry or perhaps some fried fish, but otherwise stay away from saturated fats.

Do take extra vitamins. A chromium tablet before breakfast will kick-start your metabolism, and accelerate your metabolic rate.

Focus on exercising the parts where you most want to lose weight. For men this is usually the stomach. Start slow, and work up to plenty of sit-ups, a quick 20 minute walk each day, or whatever other exercises you can print off the internet.

Wizzard's suggestion about not eating carbs after 2 pm is a good one, too.

The above regime is tough but effective. to keep the weight off you will need to reduce sugar, sat fats and carbs for life.

Good luck, and how about posting us before and after pix when you achieve your goal?

OP has to be yet another bored troll with too much time and not enough to think about. Sad really, when you consider the amazing country many of us live in.

my 2 satangs' worth.....

some people tend to dominate the discussion rather than being courteous enough to give everyone else an equal time to speak.

This is very embarassing for other people to deal with, since they do not wish to be rude to the person dominating the discussion, but they also want to see everyone getting a fair and equal chance to speak.

Ta 22, please think carefully about respecting the rights of others in groups and the reason the discussion group exists: to talk about set topics. You have great energy and some very intelligent things to say. Others are shy, but may also have some great things to say. I would like to hear everyone's point of view. People who do not have an opportunity to speak will be offended and leave. That would be a great loss IMHO.

I do not know how long your parents are staying in Thailand, but the odd note in your post IMHO was that you and your girlfriend were playing a game which excluded your parents.

If we are talking manners here, perhaps a more inclusive activity would have been appropriate. If your parents' stay is lengthy, this is irrelevant, since you will have plenty of time together and need "time out".

It may be that your girlfriend's behaviour signalled her anxiety at the visit. Only you would know the dynamics of the parents-girlfriend relationship. If the visit is characterised by mutual hostility or unspoken stresses, you will have to do the hard yards: talk to everyone to understand where they are coming from and organise potentially enjoyable activities, separately or together, to try to improve relations between all parties and to make your parents' visit as enjoyable as possible.

Condolences to Noel's partner, family, and many friends on Thai Visa.

A few posters have confirmed what I suspected from experience: that some Thais are very jealous of their farang partners talking and laughing with farangs of the opposite sex.

I usually try to defuse situations where I perceive fear and jealousy by talking equally with the Thai partner (usually a woman). However, my basic Thai and some women's lack of English is a real barrier in establishing communication and trust.

I also feel some resentment when I see good natured farang male partners being given sour meaningful looks because they have dared to acknowledge the presence of a western woman in an elevator, doorway, or wherever.

It is a curly question to know how to react in these situations. I will not give up my western values about human rights and freedom to talk to whoever I want, yet I do not wish to generate bad feelings or strife between Thai-farang couples.

I am sure that improving my Thai langauge skills and being fair in these situations will help, but wonder if others also experience these barriers to friendship and how they deal with it?

I am rather surprised to find the old 20th century question of

"will he think I'm a slut if I do it on the first/second/tenth date?"

still alive and well in 2006.

For a women who knows what she wants, this is a no-brainer. If a man is carrying around "good girl/bad girl" prudishness, he is the wrong person to go to bed with. If you do have sex with such a hypocrite on the first date and he rejects you, you have lost nothing in the end except an illusion.

I'm sure that it's a common thing in Thailand , but do you realize just how jealous Thai girls are ?

Unless I knew the girl from before and she was completely unnattractive , I would not contemplate having a plutonic or any other relationship with another girl .

I fancy keeping my vitals too much .

Cheers ,

Jim .

"Plutonic" must mean "does not exist" since Pluto has been struck off the planetary register!

Jim, what you are describing is abuse. If your wife is so jealous that you fear talking with other women, then you are not allowed to be a whole person. No one person has the right to treat another in this way, since they are controlling that person's right to be themselves. I hope that you will find a non-confrontational way of addressing this issue with your wife so that you can both enjoy a social life without fear on both sides.

post deleted

Yes, I do agree, La Reina. The banners do give the wrong message as to the nature of the forum. "For Ladies in Thailand" may also suggest that this forum is a fishing ground rather than a place dedicated mostly to issues affecting women.

Even the reference to "local and foreign girls" in the grey print tends to mislead IMHO, making the forum sound more like a play-girl pen than a place where anything more serious than the odd chipped nail might be discussed.

I entered this forum following threads by posters whose views and attitudes I respect: Kat and Sheryl, SBK, to name but a few. Since participating here I have found that almost every woman and many men have great input. i have learned a lot from many of you. Thank you.

Hope the forum can develop all kinds of new dimensions over time. Throwing the trolls back under the bridge is a good start.

It is true that this epic is not for those with an attention span of 30 seconds or less. Nor is the storyof the "garage sale" just a "days of our drearies" sensationalist gossip grab.

As Hawaiianeyes has pointed out, the effects on many lives of the Dubie trail of havoc are monumental.

Dubie-damage aside for a minute, some of us who live in Chiang Mai would like to understand our adopted home with all its "warts" and downsides, including, for example, WHETHER a powerful local mafia operates and what links it may have to international business, for example. We would like to know how such cultures work here, to know who and what to avoid, who and what is wholesome.

Some of us also feel compassion for the women and children who are left to unravel the lies, the false promises, the betrayals, the happier memories, in order to re-make their lives. Any information equals another piece of the jigsaw for the survivors of Daniel Dubie.

I don't imagine anyone wants to stop men from posting in this forum. However, if it is a "ladies' forum", surely women have a right to decide about appropriate topics? I vote that men seeking women's help to find dates or talking about m/f "war" is mere trolling, and quite inappropriate.

For months i did not enter this forum because the sponsor banners led me to think it was a dating site for men. I believe the forum offers women a worthwhile space to compare experiences and views. Some men have also made thoughtful and appreciative contributions. Moderators know the trolls and can deal with them as they see fit.

The name Ladies in Thailand is indeed misleading. How about something like "Community for Women in Thailand" or "Community for Foreign and Thai Women in Thailand" or "Non-males in Thailand"?

I do prefer the term "women" to "ladies", and rather like rainx's first suggestion of a name for the forum.

Maybe a poll might be the most democratic way to decide about issues of

* the name

* agony posts/not

* whether the allotted sponsors compromise the forum's agenda

* what women would like to be included on the forum's agenda/excluded

Virtualtraveller, a most interesting post.

There must be people in Chiang Mai who know a great deal more about Mr Dubie's dealings than we have ever heard about on this forum. Occasionally, people have appeared briefly to drop hints about his financial dealings or connections, but we are still very much mushrooms (kept in the dark) re his business here.

Did anyone else attend the "luxury garage-sale"?

BUD ZUMWALT returns

WHICH Bud Zumwalt?

Geoffrey,

you evidently have vast musical knowledge and are multi-talented, have strong ethics. Why are you looking for a "girl" rather than a woman of any age who shares your values and interests already?

There must be plenty of farang women as well as Thais with whom you could have a fruitful relationship/marriage. Women journalists/ working in the music industry, in film, in publishing, or in animal protection/rescue.

I also note that you have lived in Bangkok for a while, and were married to someone here as recently as 2003. I am sure you must have a social network that would allow you to meet potential partners.

There must also be a lot of interest groups in Bangkok centered around music, film, veganism. Such organisations might be worth joining......

"Could you provide statistics in support of your claim that "so many" Oz men suicide after divorce? Could you compare these figures with the numbers who try to shoot/murder their ex-wives and children following divorce?"

FruitBat, both of these actions are tragedies bought on by the same system.

There's no use trying to seperate them.

You have to ask yourself what type of system would make anyone want to kill themself and/or their children. How many women kill themselves and/or kids after a divorce? Not many. Why. They are obviously happy with the "deal" they're getting.

It's the same system that makes the O.P worry about his situation.

This rant is not off topic. The OP is a classic example of men v women war in the western world that's been fueled by the courts and various do-gooder associations. He shouldn't even have to ask this question or come on a web forum for advice.

Are there any Thai guys asking "how can I boot my farang gf out of bangers".

I posted a topic in the Ladies in Thailand section a few months ago asking the question "Why the war between western women and men?". Of course I was flamed for asking. But looking at this thread it's starting to become clear why there is a division simmering. It's not because we don't like western women and vice-versa, it's because we are being shaped this way by a very sexist, pro-female govt.

Dgoz, although I totally disagree with your views about the alleged "war", I see that as quite a separate topic from the OP's request for advice.

Why should he NOT ask for advice in a Thailand forum? It seems the most appropriate place to ask, since other men may well have had similar experiences to his own and be able to advise him.

The OP is also holding a rather powerful trump card here, which he can use against his gf, probably preventing her from completing her education, or from remaining in the UK.

His gf, on the other hand, will be subject to bureaucratic direction, revenge and possibly being left homeless, deportation. Yes, she did choose infidelity and has to take the consequences of her actions. Her boyfriend's intended revenge, however, shows that he is far from powerless or a "victim" of the State.

Why don't you tell us "your definition" of a good girl?

And, Americanactor, what is a "good boy", and do you qualify?

SBK,

the "agony aunt" type-posts represent two different attitudes, I think.

There is the male presumption that women are better listeners, and more intuitive than men. Unfortunately, this tends to stereotype all women as "caring", which IMHO is neither completely true, nor very desirable - since it lets men off the "caring" hook, and perpetuates stereotypes.

The second attitude is definitely mischievous: certain posters (who will remain nameless) repeatedly "set up" posts to invite hostile and misogynist posts from cynical men. I am thinking here of the "my bar-girlfriend did me wrong and I'm just an innocent boy abroad: what should I do?" type of post which invites hostility against women from guys with bitter baggage.

In fairness, though, there have also been several similar posts on the "general forum". Some of the considered responses from male posters in that forum have been most inspiring and empathic. What this should tell posters who seek out the ladies' forum to agonise is that women are not automatically sympathetic. In fact men who have had similar experiences and learned from them are probably the best advisors.

If the Canadian is begging daily, it would appear he does not have the requisite income to stay in Thailand. Thais despise people like this as falang kee nok. Foreign beggars are an iconic stereotype of the "undesirable alien".

To some extent this stereotype rubs off onto low-budget travellers (back-packers) or others who are not ostensibly wealthy. So the Canadian is not doing anyone a favour by his activities.

The Canadian Embassy is unlikely to intervene in this situation. I wonder if foreign begging may be considered "illegal work" by Thai police or Immigration? If so, it is probably just a question of time before the man is sprung.

The humanitarian aspect is tricky. We like to help those less fortunate because their poverty exists at the expense of our wealth, IMHO. However, I see no reason why a falang beggar should be regarded with more compassion than a Thai beggar. In fact, given the fact that he is pulling a sympathy scam, I would not give him a satang.

Noel,

I wish you the very best for the op and for a full, steady recovery.

fruittbatt.

Just a quick post to ask if anyone can recommend a good sinus, (ear, nose and throat) specialist in CM?

And any advice for painful sinuses whilst flying, have been flying for many years now, but recently have experienced problems upon descent, thought it was a head cold but has sustained itself over 3 weeks.

I have heard that CLEAR EASE could be a possible solution. Anyone know if this is readily available in CM?

I am sorry that I cannot recommend an ENT specialist here in CM, but may I ask you if you had a cold already when you flew?

If so, I would consult a doctor immediately, especially if you are feeling at all giddy or have a feeling of fullness in your ear/head.

A few tips which have helped me with similar sinus pain problems:

sip water during the flight, esp during descent.

chew gum (not nice I know, but it does help) or suck sweets before take-off and descent.

use otarine ear drops one hour before take-off and half an hour before descent.

You could use a prescribed nasal spray or saline solution squirted up your nostrils before a flight to help clear your sinuses. You could also use the saline now to try to unblock your ears (buy from any chemist, big bottles are around 75 baht). Chiang Mai is a markedly polluted city, and sinus sufferers need regular breaks (eg to the mountains or the beach).

Best wishes and hope another poster can help with a referral to a good ENT doc.

Dgoz mentions Australia...and he is quite right.

Have a look at some of our Family Law Court decisions, take a good look at some of the Child Support decisions, take another good look at how parents are restricted in disciplining their own children...these are just to mention a few.

Any dispute between a man and a woman, the man may as well give up straight away, he can't win.

It could explain why so many Oz men suicide as a result of a Family Law Court decision;

The OP is not in any legal trouble, unless it can be shown that he falsified his income to sponsor his girlfriend. His rights are not at stake, although her right to remain in the UK is certainly on the line and within his power to influence.

Could you provide statistics in support of your claim that "so many" Oz men suicide after divorce? Could you compare these figures with the numbers who try to shoot/murder their ex-wives and children following divorce?

I do agree that many men suffer financially and emotionally after divorce. I also agree that family Law in Australia has in recent years gone overboard in protecting women's and children's financial rights in divorce settlements and the award of Child Support. The reason for this was to address the deserting husband syndrome, which, up to the 1980's, left many families in poverty, and many women welfare-dependent and with little chance to improve their situation, education etc. So the redress has tipped the balance in women's favor...sometimes. In other cases, women are still ripped-off. The Family Court is constantly trying to catch up with social change and to judge individual cases on their merits.

Back to the OP: he is holding the cards, and revenge is on his mind. He has every reason to feel angry and betrayed, but i suspect that the pleasure of revenge will be short-lived, and will do little to help him get over his hurt.

I have been reading these forums for a while, and see three groups of " imports " into Thailand more often than others. Well, at the English posts, at least! If the ex pats from Japan and China use their own forum, then my sense of the percentages is way off, eh?

Any stats about how many of the ex pats in Thailand are from each of the three countries?

Maybe you could start something on the lines of a poll, where posters could paste their nationality?

Could be interesting for all on TV, though language may be a barrier for Japanese, Chinese, Korean readers?

This might give some idea of which "nationalities" are most active on TV if nothing else.