sipi

My last job interview.... Interviewer " What is your greatest weakness?" Me "My honesty" Interviewer "I don't think honesty is a weakness" Me "I don't give a f what you think"

I keep at least 2 layers between me and the outside world. And preferably at least 4 layers between my giblets and yours.

My wife told me to build a house, so I did. About it really.

I need an asprin and a lie down after trying to read that.

I've still got a few more temples to visit. Of course that's the reason I moved to Thailand.

My son plays a mean bass guitar, so I had this brain wave that I would learn the 6 string, and we could have some fun times bashing out ACDC. No-one told me the strings are quarter inch apart, and you need to be dextrous, flexible, coordinated, and not deaf or blind. Anyway, that didn't work out.

On my 50th the misses turned up at our village in the middle of nowhere with a hot pizza and a cold carton. To this day I still don't know how she did it.

My 12 year old took on the big guns and came away with bronze. Still looking for something similar in Thailand. https://youtu.be/UOKLLQXBrVw

So apparently I've been diagnosed with sleep apnea. Nothing serious, but I stopped breathing 155 times for over a minute over 4 hours. It appears I'm dead more than alive.

14 minutes to get a bite at 3am. That's almost a record.

I'll do it for B28k cash.

Catholic priest.

Punctuation is over rated. Let's help your uncle Jack off his horse. Let's help your uncle jack off his horse. Let's eat, Grandma. Let's eat Grandma.

The short-back-and-sides, boilersuit wearing feminists are losing their tits over the possibility of 3 generations of male dominated monarchy. God save the King lol..

Dunno. I'm not a woman.

A woman marries a man hoping she can change him. A man marries a woman hoping she will never change. Of course the woman changes, and the man doesn't.

I'm the man of the house, but my wife controls the money. Frankly, I'm hopeless at that and she's much better, so she's welcome to it.

https://youtu.be/KHbzSif78qQ Why won't my videos embed? I'm going on strike.

I loved your duet with Dolly Parton "Islands in the stream"

Westpac aren't any better.

Dunno. Maybe both?

Go to bed at 11pm. 1am, staring at the ceiling. 3am, staring at the ceiling. 5am, staring at the ceiling. 6am, get up. Following night, repeat... What I would give for a good night's sleep. I can't even blame the chickens or the karaoke bar.

I'm a trend setter. I went grey, then my friends went grey. I got glasses, then my friends got glasses. I put on weight, then my friends put on weight....

Oui Senor.

Lovely country. Very expensive.