sipi

Yeah I've googled them. They all ended up better without me, and frankly I ended up better without them. If they were dead it wouldn't bother me, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

The only emojis i can relate to are the like, thanks and funny. I can't relate to the confused, sad and love emojis. Same in real life.

I haven't spoken to my misses in years. Suits both of us. Edit. The first one never shut up. https://youtu.be/nkXmAa9PY-Q

Australian "I own a brewery"

After dating my wife for quite some time we decided to get married. Before the ceremony I told her "sweetheart, there's something I need to explain that I've been hiding from you. I'm crazy about golf. I play golf every weekend and watch every game on tv" She said "that's ok sweetheart. There's something I need to explain that I've been hiding from you. I'm a hooker" I said "that's ok sweetheart. When you're teeing off keep your left arm straight and your eye on the ball"

1 baht each time. I thought this was his second visit, but I might have read it wrong. Or maybe she did him out of one baht ????....

Try walking down the street in London or buying something from a corner store in New York. You don't even get a fake smile.

If you can't make friends in Thailand, you can't make friends anywhere. At least in Thailand everyone smiles and says hello, unlike a lot of other countries...

She saw you coming, twice. Our temple banana lady only charges 49 baht per basket. She's done you out of 2 baht.

When I first visited Thailand in 1985, the North East was basically impossible to visit. Even 30 years ago it was a dreadful overnight bus ride. Now you can hop on a plane and be there in an hour.

Took me 10 years to find the ice skating rink. The place is full of little surprises.

Hi Chubby. It caught me totally by surprise. I wasn't expecting that at all. It was a standard sleep test that concluded that I stopped breathing 149 times per hour. Now I'm not real good at math, but apparently I was dead more often than alive.

Apparently I've just joined the club. Dang, wasn't expecting that. Now I'm sleeping with a Darth Vader mask every night.

I have received a couple of really friendly personal messages since starting this thread. That is what Freemasonry is all about. Support, friendship, brotherhood... Thanks Gents.

I'm more scared of ghosts, apparently.

Self funded retiree. We've got family in the house when we're not there.

I'm pretty much in the same boat but a bit younger, and do the exact same thing. For me, living in Australia and going to Thailand during the winter suits me best. We have someone living in the house the other 9 months of the year. Apart from the potential medical issues, the heat knocks me around the older I get.

Same for me. It was a night out with the lads.

Are there any Freemasons amongst us? I did the secret handshake and 3rd degree ritual all those 45 years ago. It was fun at the time.

I exercise Deepak Chopra's "law of minimum effort"

My wife came into bedroom wearing her school uniform. "Do I look sexy" she asked. I replied "No love. You look like a slow learner"

My last job interview.... Interviewer " What is your greatest weakness?" Me "My honesty" Interviewer "I don't think honesty is a weakness" Me "I don't give a f what you think"

I keep at least 2 layers between me and the outside world. And preferably at least 4 layers between my giblets and yours.

My wife told me to build a house, so I did. About it really.

I need an asprin and a lie down after trying to read that.