sipi

Misspells "moron" in capital letters. That's a paradox in itself.

I used to have morning beers after night shift, which was technically after work. But not these days.

Not since 1986.

When I was dating my wife I had to tell her "Honey, there's something I need to tell you. I'm crazy about golf. I play golf every day and watch golf on tv every night" She said "That's ok darling, there's something I need to tell you. I'm a hooker" I said "That's ok honey. When you tee off, keep your left arm straight and your eye on the ball"

Did you play the video.

If it's someone and something I can relate to... Yes.. Otherwise.. I don't care.

I went through a stage where I'd dish out a hundred "like emojis" which went through to their notifications, then the following day I'd "unlike" the exact same posts, which didn't go through to their notifications.

I go to bed at night and think "I hope I didn't upset anyone on Asean Now Forum", and the first thing I check when I wake up in the morning is my Asean Now Forum notifications.

My parents didn't help me a millimetre. I got ripped off and screwed from purchasing my first car to retirement. But, in their defence they didn't know any better. In the end it all worked out.

When Yinn was running for POTY, she was running second and I was running last, so I kindly offered both my votes to her. One vote was from me, and the other vote was also from me. She kindly abliged. The boy is doing really well thanx Mr Rumak. Handsome, intelligent young chap. Thank god he takes after his mother. Regards to Mrs R.

I'm so ugly, when I was born the doctor slapped my mother. When I walk along the beach, even the tide refuses to come in. My dog is so ugly, I shaved his bum and trained him to walk backwards.

I ran into a familiar face a while back and said to her "you look vaguely familiar. I think I used to sleep with your daughter" She said "that was me, you idiot"

I'm getting uglier by the hour. If you ever wanted to meet Sipi, you're 20 years too late.

Yinn and I had a little thing going behind the scenes. Yeah she was fun.

Actually, just a couple of quick "red light" stories from that era. Neither of them are mine, but from close friends so I can vouch for their authenticity.... Mike was having a beer at the bar when a naked lady hopped up in front of him and swatted down and asked him his name and where he is from. He replied that he was Mike from Australia. So she inserted a felt tip pen and swatted over a sheet of white cardboard (kindergarten paper) and wrote "hello Mike from" and then leant forward and asked "how do you spell Australia" Clarry told me they used to line coins up along the bar and the bar maid would hop along the bar in the squat position and pick up all the coins with her middle bit. Occasionally they would heat the end one up with a cigarette lighter, and when she picked that one up (after picking up all the rest first) it would sound like a slot machine had hit the jackpot as she spat all the coins back out.

I actually think it's better now.

I looked young until I hit 50. Then I aged 20 years in the next 10. Much like Thais.

They don't seem to care. Phuket airport, you can take a pee and keep an eye on the carousel for your bags at the same time.

Dead and buried.

I tried it in 2009, but I can't remember the exact date.

I only went to say I've been there. I remember being told that if you have sex before you're married, you get cast into an eternal pit of fire and brimstone.

I've been as a tourist, but I'd never live there. If I went back it would be a spotlight tour. A quick flight into Egypt, then maybe Mt Kilimanjaro, I'd skip the game parks, maybe a quick stop somewhere on the North West (Morocco), then get the hell out of there.

Don't encourage them.

It's an age thing. At my age I find everyone annoying.