Chongalulu

Or even a ceremonial sword. That's quite diplomatic..

We bow to your greater experience of such things...

Well that's the 3rd time I've had to expensively bin the 3 tier welcome home cake and flower garlands I've bought. I can't afford to go on like this ! ????

By definition,in that field you're ONLY going to come across those where it has gone wrong. You'll be completely oblivious to the orders of magnitude more instances where there aren't harmful effects. Therein lies the problem with slanted anecdotal evidence.

Easy to cut up then. Maybe. Certainly works with my whole salami! ????

Now if only that could've been harnessed into wearing HELMETS!

Which will be a source of great comfort to the lady who lost a leg earlier....

I always find construction disasters hilarious as well. But what's your take on satire. You do understand that concept..?

you came into this world with nothing, you go out with nothing, so im told I’m going out with huge unrecoverable debts. So I’ll have shifted the dial by going out with LESS than nothing. My life has been a success because I’ve got something for nothing! ????

Send me all your money….stay safe !

So that’s travellators and now tollways off my list. Good grief,at this rate I’ll be housebound! ..oh wait ..didn’t that blokes lounge wall just collapse..? Help!! ????

No,that only comes after walking under a ladder while a black cat crosses your path and you drop the mirror you were carrying. Make sure you carry a sachet of salt to throw over your shoulder,just in case. Can’t be too careful … ????

Thank you for your own contribution…

Could you not have checked you weren’t overloaded…?

" My gf SAYS she loves my nose” or in your case ,Bignok,your beak...?

" It's a wise man that knows his own child"...

You could only travel by train..or even not at all? Or do you really NEED to fly..? Silly enough for you? ???? Or if really vexed by the need for a sensible question - statistically are you.ore likely to meet serious harm on a travelator or on the roads.. ????

Give it a name,I used Boris for mine (the Who) . Sad when he disappeared after a few weeks. The only thing he'll bite are the nasty bugs. He's an ally!

May I remind you of the road accident statistics..will you now avoid those too in the name of consistency..?

I think that may be what they do when seeing you approach.. ????

Look up Poe’s law….

Of course they are. ”On,yes it's moving - Off,yes it's stopped " Maintenance - tick box..

So now you want a decapitation?! ???? Haven't we suffered enough horror,man?!

No,I was countering your incorrect assumption that being intoxicated was a catch to get out of paying any/all claims. Which clearly it isn’t. And insurers rightly carry out an investigation of any major claims - why would you expect different? Nor is being involved in a non blameworthy injury accident while over the limit an unlikely scenario. How about revellers in a club becoming victims of a fire (ring any bells??) unable to escape because of locked emergency exits..?

I was just "filling" in their questionnaire - no need to drill further as it's just a thin veneer of caring