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Report of HHH Run# 69: Saturday July 19, 2009

Location: Five kilometers due west from the eight kilometer stone on the Old Chiangmai Road, at the foot of the stone quarry Hua Fai in the Boonrawd rubber tree orchard.

Hares: Allo Allo

Goodbye Goodbye

Some say that half the fun of a trip is going there. In this case far more than half the fun was bound up in the travel as a deluge of rain swamped all but the hale and hearty. Your faithful correspondent for example was forced to park his steed along the side of the road until rescued by John and Nitta. Maki and Takase actually turned back but were cut off at the pass by Nam Ron. Doesn’t Matterhorn braved the elements in a hired Rot Subaru with Swiss Roll, Swiss Cream and the Swiss Family Romano, four virgins who didn’t know any better. Fat Cat had threatened to come but once his feline nose scented water, he never left the bar. The Hash Beer, Hand Cock brought Helping Hand and the beer. However he then declared that liquid belongs in the gullet not on the skin and refused to leave the comfort of his dry vehicle cabin.

Most people brought umbrellas. This honest scribe was no exception. However he made the mistake of leaving his on the ground while he returned to John’s vehicle to don hiking boots. When he finally re-emerged there was no umbrella to be found. Apparently while Swiss Roll wasn’t watching, Doesn’t Matterhorn stole the umbrella and gallantly presented it to Dutch Treat.

Thirty-one intrepid hashers gathered under umbrellas. Nineteen were male, but no Thais. Of the twelve females, seven were Thais. Included in these data are three Japanese, who being neither farang nor Thai require some special category. Eventually, a semi-starved hunch-back hidden beneath an orange pancho rain cover, over-sized glasses and profuse mustache and equipped with a bamboo walking stick, came forward to announce that he was not Mahatma Gandhi but our very own Allo Allo who is the hare for this occasion.

Fired Up, Nam Ron and his constant companion Bushwacker immediately took off. Close behind was John who proved once again that a fast walker can keep up with these ambitous FRBs who run only to tarry at the checks. As the rains had dissolved or otherwise washed away much paper the task of finding and staying on track proved doubly complicated. This was not helped by the Flying Dutchman who came equipped with more paper but rather than reinforce the existing trail he chose to demonstrate short-cuts. Once started he neglected to lay paper to the point where the new met the old trial so that anyone who had the misfortune to follow his innovations, soon found themselves off paper and more confused than ever.

In the end the Swiss-Japanese delegation led by Doesn’t Matterhorn gave up on paper and followed a road back to the foot of the stone quarry where he knew the cars were parked. They were not last in however. That honour was claimed by Well Oiled who wore sandals which kept getting stuck in the mud. He claimed to be recovering from Swine Fever and did not intend to run. However caught up in the enthusiasm of the moment, he went hashing despite the inappropriate footwear. He survived thanks to the repeated efforts of Oiled Well and Sticky Glue to extricate him from the mud. Meanwhile Pat on the Back walked barefoot having sacrificed her shoelaces in a vain attempt to stop Shockiing’s soles from ripping off his boots. Shocking however was not discouraged. He looks forward to making a fortune selling his “slightly used” size 11 boots on E-Bay.

However painful it may have been, Allo Allo, our usual FRB stayed behind to shepherd the stragglers in as weep. Upon arrival he then immediately set about slicing home-made paté to spread on French bread. Not accustomed to gourmet appetizers a stunned silence followed which was soon broken by Do It Yourself, Do It Better, Stoned and Rolling who are sophisticated enough to recognize a good thing when they see it.

As the sky darkened and the rain threatened to return, the G.M. Able Semen called for brief circle. Maki and Takase earned their hash names Tight Lips and Lip Service for bringing their virgin friend suited out in dress shirt and leather shoes. Later Shocking complained that he could easily have sold this ill clad “friend” a S2ATO t-shirt even with the enticement of Boy Magnet’s modelling. Likewise we avoided discussing the subject of water, this time in a bottle which was the focus of heated e-mail correspondence.

Unlikely as it may seem, some people enjoy the hash so much that there was some discussion about organizing a family outing on the first Saturday of the month. The format is still to be decided. Anyone interested should contact Nam Ron (telephone 089 661 5840)

Hares for Upcoming Hashes include:

August Doesn’t Matterhorn and Swiss Roll

September Loose Spoke, Tight Socket and Third Wheel

October Nam Ron

November Shocking and Pat on the Back

December Well Oiled and Oiled Well

Notes by Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce

Hi all

Here are directions for the next Saturday Chiang rai H H H . Run start 16.00 or 4.00 PM prompt

Saturday July 18.

From the city beginning at the Chiangmai Gate head south along the old Chiang Mai road. Carry on through the two sets of traffic lights (at Den Haa) and keep going south. Just before the white Kilometer stone 8 turn right at the flashing orange light (HHH sign) and follow this paved road for precisely 5,354 meters. Then you will see another HHH sign on the right hand side of the road and some parked cars. That means that you have arrived!

Do not be afraid this is not a "Phuket Tin-man." It is just a normal, "Start Slowly and Taper Off" Chiangrai run. It is almost flat.

Yes you can run from 7 to 77 years!!!!

If the weather is good do not forget your cameras for the amazing view.

ALLO-ALLO

On-On

Is there a Motor Sports Club in Chiangrai that I can join?? I am thinking of building a Funny Car Dragster and need good regular venue/s to compete.

hello gary

the guy to see is the dynasat satellite agent his name is AKE his shop is just past the bangkok bank on the highway,

take the slip road past the bangkok bank take the first left (northern farms soi) and his shop just there on your left (look for the satellite dishes outside) hes a sponcer/management of the chaingrai/chaingmai motor sports can speak decent english but take LT along just in case

not via satellite

look up the SLING BOX via internet

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i heard they found class A drugs in the living room class B drugs in the bathroom and all of class c in the bedroom

hash report for the 68th chaingrai HHH JUNE 20TH

The 68th Hash was attended by 36 people - 11 women, 17 men and 8 children as well as one dog. The course was set by Stoned and his better half Rolling. It was in the National Park and surrounding area 12 km E of Chiang Rai on the Thoeng Rd.

Although it had been overcast and threatened to rain all morning, the afternoon turned out to be relatively clear and the hashers were thankful that most of the route was in the shade as the sun came out in full force. The 6.5 km course was relatively flat and mainly on single lane red clay gravel roads that wound around several small lakes and offered scenic views of the mountains. The course had 7 checks and one false trail. Towards the end the hares took the group over a rickety bamboo bridge and through a long convoluted stretch of rice paddy which ended at a loud boisterous party. Unfortunately, it wasn't the hash party but the local farmers celebrating after a hard day of work planting rice. They offered whiskey, mangoes and other local fruits to the walkers who had no chance of catching the FRBs and no way of refusing the hospitality. Several of the hashers, including Shocking, showed up at the circle half inebriated from imbibing the local hootch.

The FRBs were Wee, Allo Allo, Flying Dutchman and Do It Yourself. Doesn't Matterhorn was running in front but because of parental obligation to Swiss Roll and daughter Swiss Cream he relinquished the lead. The FRBs were followed by Nut, Do It Better, Jan and Saa. The RWBs (rear walking bastards) consisting of Nam Ron, sons and Bush-whacker were overtaken by a late arriving but fast moving group that consisted of Mark, his wife, their girls, Jolly Molly, Smoked Weiner and his big brother. Virgins managed to stay in the middle of the pack. They included Brits Tony and Neil as well as a Japanese woman and her American/Japanese son, all of whom will hopefully become regulars.

In the absence of Able Semen, our GM, Shocking stood in. The majority of the circle was spent discussing hash names because a record ELEVEN names needed to be given out. Mike Olsen and has family were given cat related names because of his past ownership of the "Cat House" bar. The group chose Tom Cat just slightly over Fat Cat for Mike. The name Pussy Cat was suggested for his lovely 13 year old daughter by a very callous Hand Cock but sensibility prevailed and that was vociferously vetoed by the group for a much more benign Kitty Cat. Her younger sister's genteel name of Cat in the Hat was proposed by 6 year old Smoked Weiner and was easily approved. Much time was spent discussing the names of Terry and Jan Whitefall but ultimately the group voted for Odd Job for Terry and OoohMatron for Jan. Names for Mark, his wife and children were also debated for a long time and finally the following were approved: Sperm Bank for Mark, Missed Period for his wife and Powder Puff Girls for the 4 young ladies.

Scribed by: Namron. Incorrect information is guaranteed as wrong and the rest is debatable.

Financial Report: 13 people paid for beer, 13 for soda and one T-shirt was sold (leaving us a mere 487 in inventory.)

Invitation to Join Chiang Mai Hash on July 11th. In honor of our own SquareRooter being chosen GM of the Chiang Mai hash, a group of us will be going to Chiang Mai to participate. Currently we have two cars going, one on the 10th and one on the 11th. If you are interested to join, please contact NamRom via this email or 089-661-5840.

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A house where they sell hash ? But hash like in hashish or like in hash browns ?

And Harrier's the name of the dealer ?

I'm a bit surprised they advertise their trade so openly on TV.

What's next ?

CCC, Crack Cocaine Charlie in Udon ?

this thread is named UBON HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

you have asked and been given a definition of HHH

if you cannot be bothered or dont have the intelligence to do a google search

can the SMACKHEADS that our trying to railroad the thread please leave

small things amuse small minds

Still looking for a definition of HHH

HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

bergen

good luck with your F,A.R hope everone as a good hash

on on

CHAINGRAI HHH

hi all

Here are the directions to the next Hash Sat. June 20.

Head South from Big C and turn left down 1020 Highway towards Thoeng.

After 10 K you will pass a service station on the right - blue green leaf.

At 11 K ( just before the 11 K mileage post) there is a small intersection, Soi 7, with a bus stop shelter on the right - HHH sign. Turn right here and after 150 M - HHH sign - turn left. Proceed for another 650 M until you come to a tee intersection and then turn right - HHH sign. Another 800 M and you are there.

You will be going through some mushroom country if you would like to take a bag with you.

Starting time 4.00 PM all welcome.

allow 30 minutes from big c

this is a auction site but it might help

www.jssr.co.th

have been asked to give a plug to

Chaingrai Gymkhana Motor Sports C hampionships

the next event will take place sunday june 21st start 12-00 to 4-30pm

location--old airport

plenty of cars, and motor bikes many races admission free (i believe)

come along--all wellcome

I'm looking for 200 feet (61m) of Cat6 cable (computer network cable). Any ideas on where to look for it in Chiang Rai or am I going to have to drive to Chiang Mai?

the place i buy my computer cable stuff from. if you go past the bigc heading north at the next set of traffic lights turn right

there is another set of lights about 80 metres turn left the shop comes up on your left hand side.

im sure they will have what you want and reasonable as well

I am not half bad from this distance and angle. My non drinking diet is going well since Sunday.

i see liverpool johns drinking diet is still going well after 20 years

CHAINGRAI GYMKHANA MOTOR SPORTS CHAMPIONSHIPS

the next event will take place sunday june 21st start 12-00 to 4-30pm

location--old airport

plenty of cars, many races admission free

come along--all wellcome

Location: Nawng Luang in Tha Sai, 2 kilometers south of the windmill off highway 1020 near the east bank of the Mae Laow River

hash report 16th may 2009

Hares: Hash Cash Do It Yourself

Do It Better

This is the second time our hash has used this location. The first time was the third anniversary hash (run #37 on November 25, 2006) which was also the occasion of the Stiffy and Mam wedding. Your devoted scribe was hare at that time.

This time the hare, Do It Yourself explained that the run is a little long and begins with a kilometer walk along a boring road. So he invited women and children to ride in his pick up so he could drive them that first kilometer. Absent any definition of children, Reverse Thruster was first to jump in the car. Burdened with responsibility to report all happenings throughout the hash, your faithful correspondent also felt obliged get on the car for your sakes, dear readers.

As a consequence of this maneuver it was the women and children who came upon the first check. Unaccustomed as they were to finding the way forward, many lingered about wondering what to do next. When someone did find the way forward, no one thought to kick out the cross and spread paper for the folks behind. Fortunately this honest reporter was there to fill in the gap.

The women and children held the lead for exactly ten minutes. Then they came upon a mafai tree with golden ripe fruit. The temptation to steal overwhelmed them. Meanwhile FRBs Hallo Hallo and On Fire raced by them.

About a kilometer later Reverse Thruster began complaining about his knee. It was sad to see the poor man limping along with only his grandson, seven-year old Smoked Wiener to help. Your heart-of-gold scribe felt so sorry for the guy that he used local knowledge to find a short cut. The end point was a beautiful sala set in a lake. Once it came in sight, Smoked Wiener and his side kick Jonah began to run and thus became first and second ones in. They were immediately rewarded with liquid refreshment thanks to the assistant hare, Do It Better, who had sacrificed the joy of re-running the route in order to guard the beer,

Ten minutes later the erstwhile FRBs Hallo Hallo and On Fire appeared, now astonished to be so completely displaced. Virgin John arrived next having fast walked the entire distance. He was followed in rapid succession by Stunned, Rolling, the Flying Dutchman, Doesn’t Matterhorn, Swiss Roll and Swiss Cream, Nam Ron and three virgins Patrick, Hiro and Maki. A few minutes later Fired Up, Hard Wired arrived along with Do It Yourself who as Sweep declared that he had waited long enough and that anyone who came after him had better find their own way. Shocking came in next, panting and sweating profusely saying the only thing good about that last hill was that it wasn’t as high as the 65th run. Finally the women and children came bearing the ill-gotten fruit of their labour. Pat on the Back carried the biggest bag. She was ably assisted by Wild Woman, Boy Magnet, Superglue and the two Oileds. Most distinguished of all was the fashionably-dressed Crazy Salami who managed to do the entire walk in high heels. Likewise uniquely shod was Jan. He got to the end in sandals but he kept wife Terry and daughter Jane nearby in case he needed a lift.

In the absence of Grand Master Able Semen, our ever favourite G.M. Shocking called the group to form a circle. After honouring the hares and the virgins he quickly turned to new names. Hard-wire’s spouse, Phat was named “Short Circuit.” Recalling his efforts to park his car vertically in a ditch, Rafaele got the name “Italian Job” while his wife Lek became “Crazy Salami.” Swiss Roll’s daughter, Benz shall be known as “Swiss Cream.”

Thirty-six people came to the hash including five children. All but one of the males were farang, the exception being Hiro, a Japanese. Among the women there were eight Thai, two farang and Maki likewise Japanese. Teetotalers again out numbered the true hashers 16 to 13.

Before the circle broke up the hare Do It Yourself produced a memory chip which he said he found in the sala. He asked if anyone was missing it. When no one responded he observed that perhaps someone’s memory was so far gone that s/he couldn’t remember that he once had a memory.

Hares volunteering for future runs are:

June Stoned and Rolling

July Hallo Hallo and Goodbye Goodbye

August Doesn’t Matterhorn and Swiss Roll

September Loose Spoke, Tight Socket and Third Wheel

October Nam Ron

November Shocking and Pat on the Back

December Well Oiled and Oiled Well

on on

wirgin bluce

the girlfriend ran into the police station and cried "officer officer ive been graped"

the policeman said "madam dont you mean raped"

the girlfriend replied "no graped there was a bunch of them"

CHAINGRAI HHH MAY 16TH START 4PM PROMPT

Hi all

Here are directions for Saturdays Hash. 16.00 Saturday May 16.

From Big C going south on Superhighway turn left at first trafficlight on road 1020 towards Toeng.

After 2.5 km you are going over a bridge and 0.9 km after the bridge, make a U-turn. Go back 0.7 km and turn left (the last road before the bridge.

Go 2.5 km and you have a big pond on your left. Turn left at the end of the pond and park where you see the sala over the pond.

From Big C around 15 minutes in a reasonably modern car.

Everyone is welcome!

On On !

Do It Yourself

It would be pointless to bring the dish over from Philippines. Due to the signal footprint you need at least a 7 foot dish to receive Dream in Thailand.

i am receiving dream tv in the north of thailand on a 65 centre metre dish as the footprint is very good up here.

Report of Run #66: Saturday, april 25th, 2009

Hares: Hand Cock and Helping Hand assisted by G.M. Able Semen

Location: On road beyond the Nam Laat caves

April is the hottest month of the year in Thailand so we were thankful that 35 people showed up for the run. These included seven children and three passers-through: Sarah and James I and II who presumably didn’t know any better. As usual all 15 of the men were farang. Among the women 9 were Thais and 4 farang. Depressingly only eight hashers paid for beer. Eighteen other adults declared themselves teetotalers.

There were a variety of strategies to deal with the heat. Super-glue kept cool by doffing his shoes and walking in socks. His pal, Sticky Goo followed in his buddy’s wake. Pat on the Back tried to avoid climbing over a gate but fell into an electrified fence. Mark refused to carry his three young daughters abandoning them to their own devices.

Being close to town, the area had many crisscrossing footpaths leading off in every direction. The hares exploited these to create many false trails which discouraged the FRBs while enabling the slow ones to catch up. In two instances the trail paralleled itself on two sides of a bog. The hares incorrectly supposed that the bogs would discourage short-cutting but they forgot that in the hot season everything dries up. Your faithful correspondent short-cut thusly and to his surprise, he became the FRB briefly. That honour lasted precisely two seconds. On Fire slipped by him as soon as he turned to call “On! On!” signaling the way forward to Do It Yourself, Do It Better and other FRBs lurking nearby.

The visiting Icelander, Halla demonstrated her political sympathies by wearing bright red pants. However her courage failed her when passing a herd of cattle. She suddenly became very friendly towards this honest scribe whom she kept between her and them. Once past the local bull, she took off with incredible vigor surpassing all others to be the first one in. Third Wheel and On Fire came second and third.

At the circle afterwards hash names were allocated as follows: Peter, a locomotive fireman became “Fired Up” while his better half Vee shall be known as “On Fire;” Ben and Yvonne who are both Dutch became the “Flying Dutchman” and “Dutch Treat” respectively. Marty, an electrical contractor in Iraq earned the name “Hard Wired;” and Som’O was called by some “Speeding Gonzalles” but shall always be known to this reporter as “Sticky Goo” in light of his special relationship to “Super Glue.”

Hand Cock noted that this circle was special as it was the first time in over a year that Shocking forgot to flog t-shirts. Thus prompted Shocking sprang into action but in the absence of his usual sexy model, his sales pitch met with indifference. Taking advantage of the current economic down turn Helping Hand offered to buy one provided he give her the same discount which applies to men. She eventually got one while retaining an option to re-sell at enormous profit on e-bay .

At the conclusion of the circle G.M. Able Semen announced some good and bad news. Beginning with the former he declared that he would be away for the next two months. The bad news was that Shocking, our favourite G.M. ever, would replace him during this absence.

Hares volunteering for future runs are:

May Do It Yourself and Do It Better

June Stoned and Rolling

July Still open

August Doesn’t Matterhorn and Swiss Roll

September Loose Spoke, Tight Socket and Third Wheel

October Still open

November Shocking and Pat on the Back

December Well Oiled and Oiled Well

On! On!

Notes by Hash Scribe Wirgin Bluce

i buy the C.A.T international phone card from their office not far from overbrook hospital.

it works out at less than 2 baht per minute to phone the UK landline to landline,the cards cost 300 or 500 baht

and are valid for one year,the voice quality is excellent.

BTW

their fax cards are also excellent value,i bought a 100 baht fax card from them,they sent the one page fax for me

when i checked the balance left on the card it was 87baht valid for one year

can anyone advise what size dish is needed to pick up the agila ku satellite from the philippines

when living in issan

thanks

120cm should get it for you.

thank you

can anyone advise what size dish is needed to pick up the agila ku satellite from the philippines

when living in issan

thanks

CHAINGRAI HHH NEXT HASH SATURDAY 25TH APRIL START 4-00PM PROMPT

The next Hash will take place on Sat 25 Apr with a 4pm start. Hares will be me (Hand Cock) and (who else?) Helping Hand, ably assisted (how else?) by Able Semen. The route is set in the hillside around our office in Nam Lad, just across the Mae Fah Luang bridge.

1. Directions from Big C - count 20 mins

(NB There will be as many HHH signs as I can find):

a) head north on the superhighway heading towards Mae Chan. Pass the Mengrai/Haayaek junction and cross the Mae Kok river bridge.

at the first traffic lights after the bridge, turn left (sign "Huay Khom" route 1207). Reset your kilometer/odometer to 0.

c) after 1.8km, pass the turning to the left signposted to Rimkok Hotel and prepare to turn left at the next cross roads (360 m further on, 2.26km from traffic lights).

d) after turning left, follow the road for 1km (total 3.26 km from traffic lights) until you come to a slightly offset crossroads.

e) at the crossroads, go straight across (actually, slightly offset to the left). This is the road out to the Buddha caves for those of you in the know.

(200 m after the crossroads, NOTE, but DON'T STOP at a driveway off to the right (opposite the school gates on your left) with a sign on the gatepost saying "Khom Loy Development Foundation" - this is where you will be returning in your own cars for the cold beer afterwards)

f) drive along this road a total of 2km from the last offset crossroads (total 5.56km since turning off superhighway). You will pass a Buddha Cave on your right, then the road turns sharp left. Look for somewhere to park - the start is in a track leading to the right immediately after this left hand bend.

2. Directions from the west of CR

For those coming from the south or south-west and who don't want to go all the way east to the superhighway:

a) cross the river on the Mae Fah Luang Bridge (the non-superhighway bridge just to the west of the Rimkok Hotel/Dusit Island Hotel) and reset your kilometer/odometer to 0

continue north after crossing the bridge 1km when you will come a crossroads with a sign marked "Buddha Cave" to the left - turn left here.

(200 m after the crossroads, NOTE, but DON'T STOP at a driveway off to the right (opposite the school gates on your left) with a sign on the gatepost saying "Khom Loy Development Foundation" - this is where you will be returning in your own cars for the cold beer afterwards)

c) drive along this road a total of 2km from the crossroads (total 3km since crossing the bridge). You will pass a Buddha Cave on your right, then the road turns sharp left. Look for somewhere to park - the start is in a track leading to the right immediately after this right hand bend.

For those of you who use Google Earth (highly recommended if you don't, but NO CHEATING by printing out the run area...) the kmz reference for the start is attached.

If you have any problems, or need a lift organised, call me on 0861 940 922 .

DISCLOSURE STATEMENT: there may be some water/mud involved in this run, so please wear appropriately old footwear. You can shower at our offices later.

--

Regards Hancock