fredwiggy

Most people learn by reading, which, after schooling, is the only real way to keep advancing your knowledge, unless you learn from others who are experienced in a certain subject. Some people never learn, no matter how hard they try, because they haven't got it in them. And of course it is helping, because all the women I was with, with only a few exceptions because of mental illnesses or depression, wanted to stay with me, besides those that ended the relationship mutually because of different future plans. When you treat a woman right, consistently, she will want to have sex with you, unless she is battling demons from childhood. When she isn't being heard, she will withdraw emotionally, and then physically, until you can let her see you understand her, and prove it by talking with her and not to her. This isn't something a narcissist cares enough to know, as their only agenda is to bed as many as possible to notch that bedpost as a teenager does with a frail ego.

You aren't smart enough to understand a woman's needs if you think satisfying them sexually will keep them around. You actually say this then lie about bedding 20 wives of other men, not fully understanding this is the mark of a real scumbag that plays on women's frailty in a relationship that, to her thinking, isn't working. When a woman cheats, she is usually not being heard. Not always, because there are true sluts out there, but usually it's an emotional thing. The player, as you know, has to only "listen " to her, telling her he understand her, and a foolish women can fall for this line of BS., not undersatanding the player wants nothing to do with her but to deposit his filth in her then leave leaving her used and more broken than before, and usually ruining her marriage, and hurting the children. I'm guessing, as a player, you don't care to think much past your teenage angst, and only look to "conquer" yet another clueless woman. If you read between my lines, you will understand that satisfying a woman's needs is exactly where I come from. When you learn a woman from spending time with her, you know her inside and out, figuratively and in reality. Having sex with a line of bimbos thinking you're satisfying them is only fuel to feed your childish ego, where no one again, is impressed, especially here with most of us over 60 and have been there a long time. By the way, my missus has wanted to come back ever since the divorce, but when I lose trust in a woman, it never returns because knowing women as well as I do, I know people don't really change after the age of 30., and if I took her back, she would only repeat her narcissistic ways. I treated her better than anyone ever will, and her own mom told my new girlfriend her daughter made a big mistake, because she, and everyone else in this village and in her family, know I did right by her.

I always do, and will do whatever I have to to understand the other side, as I'm not a narcissist but an empath. You know, someone with a conscience that tries to put myself in the other's shoes. I've read over 65 books on relationships, depression, narcissism and raising children, plus daily on articles on the same. A man only does this when he is trying to understand the other side to have a good relationship with them. But the main point of this, is that it takes two to work on any relationship. One can do all the work, and the other doesn't care enough to give a damn, only trying to stay because of financial needs or the fear of the dark unknown. I only put blame where it belongs, and when an attorney doesn't bother to read on all factors of a child custody case, they are putting you in a hole before you even start. By getting my children back, from the same judge that at first gave them to her, because he admitted his mistake to my new attorney, that explains it to anyone with any sense at all. My first attorney, being court appointed, did only the basic work and didn't care enough to learn all the facts of the case before trial. The second attorney was well paid and did the work because I explained the first attorney's mistake to him, which he spotted very quickly.

She spoke enough English to get by, and I was always trying to teach her, by talking slowly and asking if she understood me. It wasn't anything to do with not understanding but giving the silent treatment, a ploy used by someone who really doesn't care what you're saying but is only with you for what they can get from you. I've tried to explain to you what a narcissist is, and you fill all the blanks for this, but being in denial is never a way to learn about yourself and what it takes to improve.

You seem to not understand you aren't impressing anyone with your teenage banter. No man wants to hear another man's "prowess" with women. Bragging actually shows you really aren't getting any, especially from girls that are smart enough to understand a man who bulls*its them just to get laid. Women that are dumped are never satisfied. Women fake orgasms all the time, and the only way you will ever know is to actually be with them for enough time to tell the difference, as you never will.

Success in what way? Amount of women used. Amount of sex we've had? Having someone you can trust?

I'm neither rambling or posting nonsense. It's nonsense to people who look at women as objects, which you obviously do, from what you've been saying along, not only here but in other posts. I've had a Thai wife, a couple of dates and now with my girlfriend for over 3 years, so I'm thinking that does make me experienced. I'm not experienced in using women,because that's not my nature. I prefer to look at it as respect for the other gender. The kindest way is not to look at women , as you do, as something to get off in then dump. Stay away from good women. They don't deserve to be treated badly and used. Stick to the real bit*hes. Then you can drive each other crazy and it doesn't matter. Nothing has gone over my head. I've told things exactly how they are in this world, and explained to a narcissist what he's doing, yet he hasn't gotten it yet, or most likely, doesn't care either way. I had one wife with three children, who, against the Texas law, took them out of school and moved to her new boyfriends state, illegally without telling the court or the school, which wouldn't have allowed her to because I'm an active parent and they wanted the children to be near me. I spent three years trying to get them back because my first attorney was a court appointed idiot that missed a lot of things, allowing the judge to make a bad mistake and giving them to her, when all he had to do was read the paperwork saying it was wrong what she did by absconding. I got the kids back when I hired a new attorney, who pointed out the judge's mistake to him, and he allowed me to go to her new state and get them back, and they stayed with me until they went out on their own at ages 19 and 20. My ex wife here kidnapped my daughter 4 times, which is a criminal offense in most every other country but not here because they see that fathers don't fight for their children and the women usually get them, with many of them giving them to grandma., all because she didn't understand English enough to know how to communicate with me after minor arguments about child raising, which she still and will never understand. She hid them for 2,1, and 3 months and the last time 1 1/2 years. I had to divorce my wife here to get my daughter back to our village, where we share custody. If you think she isn't a sociopath who's only interest, like many other women, was to hurt me by hiding my daughter from a good dad, then you haven't a clue what a sociopath is, and might just be one from the way you describe women.

No, it was control that led you to commit such a depraved act. Money has and will never have to do anything with rape. You lusted after a pretty woman, wasn't attractive enough to be attractive enough to her, and or maybe too broke, and your childish impulse had you do something despicable to satisfy yourself, as it's never anything to a woman but control. And love's got nothing to do with it.

Although blunt is true, I wouldn't expect an apology from any narcissist. My ex wife here is one, raised by a narcissist to be one. They love bomb you until they get you hooked, then use you and leave when they get "bored", meaning they are boring people who don't understand what the term initiate means, or couldn't care less. My main point is this. Don't hurt innocent girls who want a real relationship with a man they can count on. Using them turns them into bi*ches that end up hating all men, and that reputation farangs get here just keeps growing. it's the men's fault a lot of the time because of this. If you want sex, fine. Find women who are into that if you spend a little money on them. There's sites just for that here. They are damaged from childhood and look at men as just objects to pay their way awhile, until they get bored and find another. In a perfect world, which this will never be, players should end up with bi*ches and good men should end up with good women. The world's population would drop dramatically in a few decades and everything would improve. Of course this is an evil tainted world, and parenting has gone downhill for decades, with narcissists running rampant, ruining the thinking of both men and women and relationships falter. Player needs to try and find a conscience, although that's like asking God to rid the world of mosquitoes. Good women, and men, don't deserve to be used. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a very disturbed individual that deserves nothing but pain.

You're telling a player who doesn't care either way to grow a pair and tell a girl to leave, instead of him telling her he made a mistake, all he wants from women is sex for a little while then on to the next victim. Sorry I took you for granted, this is what I am and I'll never change. The more I see these types of replies the more I think many here are still adolescents in an older body. It's no wonder women are so pissed off the last few decades. I'm assuming these people don't realize there are quite a few women that post here, and that tell their girlfriends how many farangs think that are living here.

It was only meant to be the point that many have had children by the time they are 20. I know it doesn't mean all. The birth rate has dropped a bit in recent years but the amount of single parent families here has increased, meaning girls with children. The US has more but here the fathers aren't held accountable for the children they make, leaving the mother to fend for herself and many times (35%+) leaving the children behind with grandparents, the highest rate worldwide. Sexual permissiveness here is very high, with the legal age of 15 being ridiculous, especially seeing those dads aren't going to stick around most of the time, and not pay for the child's future. It's very sad for these mothers because some of them care for their children and stick around, working locally so they can take care of the kids. This is another reason why they look at us, thinking we will be responsible for their kids if we stay with them.

People heal from relationships but they never forget how they were treated, and many bring that anger into the following relationships, sometimes ruining what could have been the best thing in their lives. All because some player looked at them as objects to use. There's no way of knowing how a woman feels unless you talk to her and she trusts you enough to let you in. Thai woman are no different than all other women in the world as far as their needs and desires, how they react to being used, how long it takes to heal from a bad relationship, how they lose or regain trust, and how they treat the men who follow a bad one.

I wasn't referring to the women.

Wives tire of husbands that treat them like slaves or sex objects. You treat a normal woman right, meaning one that's not a paid for employee or well damaged by the men in her life, especially her father, and they'll reciprocate. So many men say this but when you ask the wives they'll tell you different. No woman won't respond well to good treatment. Even the ones that haven't been treated well will appreciate the difference. People don't change much at all after 30, especially their character. If your wife nags you all the time, maybe you haven't been listening the right way, and doing things that don\t upset her intentionally. But wait, you have no experience being a husband so you cannot put your two cents in. Going by what some of your friends have said, and if they hang around with a person that looks at women like you do, I'd be suspicious of their thinking anyway, means nothing if they also treat their women wrong. Trust is given, and you have to give it because if you don't, they'll always be thinking you don't trust them, and that's trouble. Goes both ways of course. Again, wives don't change their minds if you're being consistently good with them, treat them as partners instead of house cleaners and cooks, help around the house, romance them by taking them on dates all the time, not just the first couple of years. Finding a good woman is the hardest thing a man can do, and sometimes it takes along time. Treating women badly makes them turn against and not trust any man.

They take it hard because they have been fooled by yet another teenage thinking man, and like I said in the other post, they take revenge on the ones that follow, and might never be able to get close to the one man that really cares.

If you're over 35, and the way you talk it seems otherwise, and aren't married by that time, then your hatred and or mistrust of women is definitely ingrained. Bragging about having another man's wife, albeit sluts because they cheated, sounds like a lie for one thing, and if it's the truth, you need to think about this because the next one might end your days. You are setting yourself up for a retirement of either paying ,like you say you don't, or being in a relationship with a real winner, because only a real winner would stay with someone with your history. Unless of course you lie to her like you're lying to us. A player, like you say you are, is i it for control, and that's where that hatred and mistrust comes in. Someone taught you to hate women and to only use them. It's usually because you lack a sense of control in your own life, so you do this to others to feel something. The rush from having non committal sex only lasts awhile, because making love isn't the same as using a woman for your own pleasure, and it gets old fast. Rinse and repeat, until you're too old to get one to stay. A player has low self esteem and uses the attention to boost their fragile egos. Here it's easy because the girls, like I mentioned, are full of hope. Hurting these women makes it harder for them to enjoy a normal relationship with a man that actually understand women and knows how to love them. So in effect you are hurting other men as well.

That's because along with your style of thinking comes mistrust of the very women you're using. This is a learned behavior. Something that is hard to turn around and it comes from either seeing it firsthand growing up or not trusting those that were responsible for teaching you values. Not too late to change, although narcissism has no cure, only an ability to understand the damage you're doing and try and understand what it is to be an empath.

A real man ends things as soon as he can because staying in a loveless, abusive relationship is never good for children. Children do better when people part, as long as they can be civil towards each other, and share parenting. Many times jealousy or hate makes that impossible, so you do your best to be at least one parent for the child(ren). You do what you can to stay together, and that means both work at it. If one does the work and the other doesn't care after a reasonable amount of time, you negotiate what's best for the kids. If you can't, you have to let a cold court decide, and that usually doesn't favor the man, although I had custody of 4 of my children back home because my ex was a nutcase.

Using women for your own pleasure isn't writing books but making a mockery of them, along with the women you use. I've dated many women, many of which were looking for a physical relationship with a man with a good body, as I was from age 17 on. It was mutual. No future plans. Just shared company and some fun. Those I dated I was serious about I never used, and let things go along until we both decided if it was going to work. Many didn't have the same future plans I did, so we parted. I never lied to them, or forced them into anything they didn't want, at least at that time. Relationships end for many reasons, and if starts to hurt someone, you leave. I was always looking for a relationship, although one night stands happened. When things aren't going like both want them, you leave. Someone might get hurt, but better now than later. And the hurt will pass quick because it wasn't what either wanted for the future. People get attracted to each other quick, and things happen, but again, I was always looking for a girlfriend, and not a woman to use and toss aside. I dated two here after I divorced my wife, and both weren't what I was looking for, so it stopped immediately. The one I'm with now I've been with over three years. She has only been with her husband, who passed away, and who treated her bad and didn't support her like a husband should. The same for the children they made. She dated a few farangs, who didn't accept her for some reason or another, and she doesn't want a Thai man for many reasons, all of which are known here. If I could, I would marry her and bring her back to the states when I leave. It might happen, but for now we're doing okay. I'm not a user, as it always backfires. And that's always, unless you don't care about being alone or with a b*tch that despises you and only stays because you have more money than a local usually has. And being with someone that doesn't love, respect, care for you and enjoy you're company is worse than being alone. The older you get, the less you can fool. Using women here is easy because they're dreamers, hoping for something better than what locals (most) can give them. The more you use, the more they begin to despise foreigners also. That's jaded, and a good girl doesn't deserve that.

I don't think I need to fool girls at all. I'm honest with them all along. I've been married to those that chose to hurt, and they lost a man that knows how to treat a woman, as all men should do. I've been around with and dated women for almost 50 years, dated over 100, and have read many books on the subject of how to get along. I, like most others, made mistakes in my choices and both I and the children we made paid the price. I have never become jaded or angered by these failures because they made me what I always was, and have become better at. being a man. Men don't use women and toss them aside. Boys do, because they have never, or yet, been taught what a woman is, and means. They aren't objects to get off in, nor hit, abuse and walk all over. they are our equals, and anyone who thinks otherwise has never learned what being a man really is. People are attracted to each other because of chemistry, not because of money, besides those that are object oriented and don't care what they have as long as they can buy them things. Attraction isn't a choice. You either are or you're not. Sometimes you might not feel attracted much when you first meet someone, but if you get to know them, it grows because of respect. Respect is what happens when you look at women as people and not accomplishments. I suggested you use prostitutes because good women aren't meant to be used. A prostitute is damaged goods, and only looks at you as money to pay her way. Why would any woman want to make love with a "man" who was only doing it to get off, and has done it countless times with clueless women before? I hope you know every word you say here makes you look like a man even most men despise. Of course, some will stick up for you because they think like you do. That women are objects to use. They aren't, no matter if they are bad or good. If you don't like someone, move on and let them be with someone that appreciates who they are for who they are, and not what they can give you.

If you think you will fool girls when you get older, you're fooling yourself, as the older you get, the more they will be looking for money and the less anything else. Of course anyone knows that the more girls you sleep with (use) the better chance you will get something you won't get rid of, or worse. This is why smart men choose to stick with a good woman, forsaking all others because the next one can be Satan. All women cost money. Some are worth it. Those you don't use or take for granted. Remember one thing, women look at you the same way, although some , especially here where they hope for a payout, are looking for someone that actually cares. Some farangs make all others look bad. Those are the ones who act like tourists with normal girls.

Comparing a car to a human shows exactly what you and some others thinking is. Some people deserve the sex they get, and the other 75% of men don't. Karma comes eventually, although it comes not quick enough.A lot of women are good, and it seems they're the ones who get used and abused, while the trash walks away unscathed. If you're intention is to use, do it with those in the trade, because they know what to expect and leave the good natured ones to those that appreciate them. A conscience is something a non narcissist has. The narcissist doesn't care and looks at women, or men, as things to use and toss aside when they get bored. A narcissist ends up alone.

The problem in the thinking of those outside the US is that many believe what the newscasters say, without living in it themselves. As I've said before, I lived there for 62 years before I moved here, and sold guns, hunted, shot targets, and didn't have a handgun for protection, although I will when I return. I probably won't carry on person but in my car, because there are loose cannons around and if ever there comes a time when I have to defend myself and, or my family, I'd want a gun there to even the odds. People mostly want guns in America for hunting and targets. More and more want them for protection, whether they will ever use them or not. America, as some don't seem to realize, is all countries on earth in one place, with relatives of these people coming from all those countries, and the thinking with them as well. America is the number 1 country because of this. Many minds from all countries together, coming up with ideas that work well, and some don't work so well. Americans have the Constitution which made laws a long time ago, the second amendment being one of those. We don't need a militia, as we have laws there which defend our rights and a government, although not perfect, which does help out it's citizens for the most part. Leaders from every country, elected by people and sometimes just put in there by rich people or by force, are mostly narcissists that only care about power and money. Power being most of it. Trump is a billionaire, and he wanted to be God, so others voted him in because they thought he was a smart businessman that would make a good president. They were wrong. I knew this person was a disturbed man long before he became president. Some didn't see this obviously and he got in. Now more and more are seeing him for what he really is. Biden isn't doing such a bad job. It's just that leaving things up to one man has never been a good idea, as it takes a few like minded individuals that are for everyone to make things work. The infighting is ruining anything the people could hope for. Many countries have either dictators or those that aren't voted in but placed. Even here we see a person the people wanted isn't in but replaced by someone the higher ups wanted, so things would remain as they were. Going back to the yank bashing. It's true that a lot here do it, because they aren't taking what I mentioned into account. Wherever they live or come from, thousands of their nationality live in America, for reasons only they can explain. Trash talking them, especially on a public forum, is stupid. It only makes all of us look bad, seeing we talk bad about other foreigners instead of sticking together in a foreign country. Some Americans might think they are somehow better than anyone else but they're ignorant. Everyone is worth the same. Some have more money and things, but we all are just people with the same kinds of problems. Money can't buy you love, happiness, good health or a good relationship. A lot of people in the US are religious. I was a Catholic but prefer just a Christian now, seeing that religions don't make us closer to God but separate us from others, and sometimes people die from it. Fanatics sometimes use religion as an excuse to hurt others. This isn't being close to God but a hater that thinks they're way is right. History has proven it isn't. Some people , like you mentioned, have shot others in the back as they left their house or car, stopping the threat they had made. This isn't self defense but homicide. This has happened a few times and it makes gun owners look bad. That's where the irresponsibility comes in in gun ownership. If people would practice more, and only use their guns to stop the immediate threat, it wouldn't come out as bad news like it does sometimes. Police abuse their power, shooting unarmed people and those that aren't an immediate threat. There are loose cannons in all fields of work, and a policeman has the tools to hurt and get away with it. This all comes down to mental illness. People who intentionally hurt others who aren't an immediate threat to them or their families are sick. This is proven quite often with American and other countries police forces. Here, an ex cop killed 37 people, including 24 children, because he was mentally ill long before he became a policeman. They didn't test him or he passed somehow, fooling them. People become cops in the US and they are tested, so somethings wrong there. You mentioned that people in the US think differently than the rest of us, meaning you and others from your country, along with other countries. Fact is, people around the world, cultures aside, think much the same. There are only a few different personality types, and these are shared worldwide. Cultures have some thinking some things are a certain way, but people are still, people, with the same attitudes, angers, fears and responsibilities that all other share. Some countries, like this one, are behind in many ways, because of old attitudes and prejudices, but eventually they all get to adopting the thinking and ways of westerners. Some are good, and some aren't. Most people are against killing others, but they have a will to live, and as long as there are people in the world who want to hurt others, there will be people who, rightly so, want them to disappear. If it's going to be you or them, better it's them. Guns will always be around, and if the sick people have them, those that aren't sick need to protect themselves. The police forces can't be everywhere all the time, so that leaves people. Some will abuse that privilege and most won't. Until a better idea comes along, guns will sometimes be in the hands of crazies. And most gun owners aren't out killing people, but just hunting, target shooting and want to feel safer.

There's still attraction in any normal Thai woman to an older man, especially if he takes care of himself and has a six pack. Granted, the money is a big thing here, especially when you see very young with very old but that's the truth in any country where most are poor. Even in other countries, a woman wants to be taken care of. Some more and some much more than others, meaning some have independence and some have none, relying totally on a man's income. There are cheating women everywhere, as well as men, but since that's a mental issue, one tries to find one they can trust, and that takes an open mind, open eyes and time. Letting someone go before you really get to know them is never a good idea, especially if you get along well together, because the one you let go might be the one that's been waiting for a good man all her life, and will prove herself to you by being faithful and loyal. After being burned a few times it's hard to trust. Think how they feel, especially here, where most of the boys leave after a little while, and more yet leave after a child is born. If you take a good looking woman and let her decide on two men. Both with a good income. She will always want the one she's more attracted to. Not fun having sex with someone that's way out of shape, smells, is drunk all the time or abuses her in any way. The ones that cheat on farangs with locals aren't getting the good part of the deal. Their "boyfriends" are usually not good at sex,as is the case with most hit and runs, will never stick around, mainly because if he cheats with you, he will do it with others, isn't going to support her in any way, and when she loses the farang who catches her, which in time is inevitable, she will be all alone with those same boyfriends who only want her aging body for one thing, and that's a maybe as she gets older.

The main point I was trying to get across is making sure you are with the right one. Picking the wrong ones, especially if you have children with them, leads to a lot of tension filled days, months and years with the kids in the middle of chaos. This is why I said most never find real love. If you have a partner that shares like interests, is faithful, caring and communicates with you, you keep them because that's something you may never find again. Of course you have to do the same with her. The OP is talking about leaving a cute girl, thinking he found something better. If she is cute, is a faithful ,loving and caring girl that's main interest is not money, and can speak your language well, which is a must in a relationship, seeing communication is one of the most important things, you're a fool to believe you'll find another like her, especially here. I also mentioned that men who take a woman for granted, always looking for a replacement, will get replaced by someone they really do care about one day. That's the Karma. If you treat a woman well, and she's a good one, she won't despise you. I picked a couple that were mentally ill, which doesn't help in a mutual relationship. Only married 3 times by the way.