fredwiggy

Which is why you shouldn't bother replying, or giving advice, because you don't understand what goes on in a family with your own kids. Thailand has a multitude of women who are narcissistic, who live their lives pushing the golden child to do good so they can look like they did it all themselves, when it was the child's desires who put them ahead. If the child fails, they blame others, and the child will be diminished in their eyes, saying he never listened to me. A child needs 8 hours sleep, for his or her health and mental stability. This child is still under 10, and their most important part of life is being healthy, and that means playtime ,a healthy diet,(which isn't easy here with permissive parents giving them junk all the time), enough sleep, and doing well in school. Just because a child is gifted in a subject doesn't mean they are going to succeed in life. It gives them a little better chance than others, but this country's schools are lacking in so many things it doesn't mean much until they go to college. They pass children who are failing a subject to get them to the next grade, which isn't helping them in any way. Ending a marriage isn't the best choice, unless it means your child has a better future, and with your wife being that stubborn, it doesn't look good, as communication between partners is the most important thing, and lack of it is the reason relationships fail. Been there . Moving back to your country would probably be the best bet, although losing a mom isn't good, unless she only looks at that child as her success story and not the child's. Schools are much better most anywhere besides here, and the child has a much better chance of doing well in another country as far as work. Your child's future is more important than anything else you can do, but your stability comes first to ensure that happens, and a marriage where this happens isn't going to help that kid anyway. You both have to agree on things regarding your child, and if that isn't going to happen, as the leader of the family, you have to make the decision that's best for your child.

The propensity to pick up an object to hit someone with is ingrained in these people from childhood. Nary a week goes by that I don't see someone hitting, or going after another, usually smaller person with a stick, club, rod, bar, piece of wood or machete. Just yesterday, taking my child to the local village clinic, saw the nurse continuously hitting a (her?) child with a stick, for doing nothing than being a child complaining about something or other. Same place awhile back, was waiting for the doctor to see my child, sitting with the other parents (grandparents), and saw a mom holding a stick, and hitting her child whenever the child tried to wander a few yards away. Quite a few times I've seen this, moms walking around with their kids, holding a stick. In America this is abuse. Anywhere, it's a cowardly act. You can use your open hand to smack a child on the butt if they misbehave. Daily, you see others going after people one against four or five, hitting, kicking, hitting with sticks, or one running after another with a machete, on TV. Pretty sad, cowardly thing to teach your kids.

Answering both questions at the same time. Think a little. You think I didn't know Texas was a state, living in America 62 years,and Texas for 32? Not worth arguing about. You know what I meant.

I agree with some of that statement, not lumping all into one group, because there are two kinds of bar girls. Taking away the some that have done it because their parents pushed them into it, and quitting because they realized it wasn't them or what they wanted. Staying with the ones that have a background of abuse, rape or neglect. Sex for money, a transaction. No feelings, love or otherwise, just a means to an end. Most women want the same things, and being taken care of is one, no matter where you came from or what you do. But, normal thinking and living women look at men first as a partner to love them, and to take care of them and to protect and respect them. Some women look at men as money first, because they are greedy and only care what a man can do for them, not caring much about the love aspect, but what they can get. This kind of bar girl is a different animal. They came from abuse , neglect or worse. They look at men to take care of them also, and some might want the fantasy of being in love, but doing what they do for money and why they got to that place has skewed their thinking into one thing. What can I get for selling my body to men I have little interest in, besides the money I can make to buy things, that I'm probably disgusted with, turned off but put on an act to get that cash. Of course they would rather (not all) marry a farang and only have sex with him because he can buy her things without having to have sex with any others (besides the ones that are totally messed up and cheat on their husbands),and there's a sense of security in having one man that has enough money to live comfortably on. In any event, promoting this business isn't helping but hurting these women, because without Johns, they would be forced to live a normal life, one with less money, but without the risks of being beaten,killed or dying from a disease.

No, I was answering to your statement "Fortunately there are no prostitutes in Texas."

I lived in Texas 32 years, and I'm pretty sure, although some might argue the point, that Texas is a state. Intelligence comes in many forms, as you should know if you're over 18. Some are IQ, wisdom,common sense, intrapersonal, interpersonal, musical, spatial, linguistic, etc. Some women can have a high IQ, and still be ignorant of the ways of men. Some can be a genius in figures, and not know how to use a computer, and so on, if you understand my point. Everyone makes mistakes, just like I did when I hired a couple working girls, but you learn from your mistakes, or you just repeat them over and over. I didn't want a disease back then, so I stopped. Awhile after, I realized women were precious creatures, and men shouldn't take advantage of them. I went through relationships, always looking for a permanent one, but sometimes they are damaged goods, and don't know how to make a relationship work. But I, like others, wanted a woman around, so I continued looking. A woman can be hurt as a child by family members, and choose this lifestyle, not for a lack of intelligence, but because they live what they've seen or felt growing up, not understanding it was a bad decision for them to make until they went through it and looked back and felt shame or discomfort.

Losing money is about the best teaching method known. If they aren't held accountable, they won't stop using girls for sex, or at least have the sense to use birth control. They don't care here, because the justice system doesn't care about the children like it should. If no consequences for their actions, they won't think about them beforehand.

Exactly why there are so many fatherless children here. The court system doesn't make them accountable so they just go from one to another, making babies and not contributing. Generation after generation and you would think all the girls would understand. Some do, after their first child, and then look for farangs to maybe give them a more secure future. In America, if you don't pay for 18 years for the child you helped make, you go to jail, just like my ex girlfriend did. I had custody and she started missing payments. I didn't care, but in America, they have a child support division that goes after the ones that stop or refuse to pay. She got a month in jail, and never missed a payment again.

Sex in a relationship, where you treat the woman as a partner and not something that has to give you some, isn't a transaction. In a relationship, if you want it to last, both have to support the other. i didn't have that. Coming from a background of abuse and or neglect, they didn't know their role in a relationship, so only used or turned to silence or anger when conflict arose. I studied relationships, reading many books and articles for the last 30 years, to try and understand the other side. I became a better listener, father and husband, which helped a little, but when the other side reverts to the child in them when inevitable conflict arrives, you don't stand a chance at making things work. It always takes two. The second marriage didn't involve mutual children, but she was addicted to pain killers, and that messed with her mind, and our marriage. She died last year from a heart attack, obviously from the strain of many years on prescribed drugs. The first was a lunatic, and kidnapped my kids and took them to another state until I got them back and had them until they hit 19 and left the house. Her mom did this when she was a child also. I have a nice girlfriend now, who I help out When I need a little cash, she helps me. She cooks most of the time, great Thai, and she comes from a background of abuse and indifference. Husband didn't do anything much, including work, hit her, drank a lot, and didn't help out financially after she went back home with the kids. Then he passed away. She tells me everything, and trusts me because I've always treated her as number one. Arguments come, and I try to stifle them with a good ending. She never had this in her life, and it's alien to her, but she knows my intentions are good. When I move back home with my daughter, I would like her to come, but that's totally up to her. Thailand doesn't offer women over 40 much besides being used and taken for granted. She's younger than I am, but I'm in great shape besides my joints for my age, and no health problems. I understand my role here as a mate, and like everyone else, I'm okay with it.but she isn't near as greedy as others I've seen and heard about for may years before I came here. As far as God's thoughts, I'm always thinking you do what you think is right, hopefully being taught that by your parents, and try and learn as much as you can about things that are important to your life, and those that share your life.Briffaults Law is a theory, which sounds a little true, but in a mutual relationship, both make the decisions and are satisfied with the others desires. Both should get benefits from the relationship, if it's going to work. That doesn't mean money. If a woman is more interested in money, that's the one you stay away from. Leave her to the ones who want to buy her.

Wondering where you get your data from. And actually, there are prostitutes in every country on earth. Texas isn't an exception, unless you were trying to make some kind of point. Being smart and still being a prostitute does happen, but intelligence and sense aren't the same. A person who's smart doesn't hire or become a prostitute. There are other ways to get sex besides buying it, and they are safer. Some here treated their wives badly, and then complained when the sex stopped. If a woman is treated with love and respect, and you end arguments with both satisfied, the sex always comes. Granted, you do always pay for it, but in a relationship with a normal or semi normal woman, it isn't just about sex, but companionship, shared interests, family.

Being a Christian doesn't mean being a prude. I've had many girlfriends and was with a couple of prostitutes in my early twenties, before I realized I could catch something from them that could kill me, as aids was coming into the media back then. Saying lots of women who are bar girls are accepted isn't true. Thailand isn't a country without gossip, and even the best of friends talk about each other here, as in other places. Nobody looks up to a prostitute. In reality, a lot of so called friends here are backstabbers, and if not jealous of others, hateful towards them. I was fully aware of what goes on here more than 20 years before I moved here. There are countless Thai's in America, and I talked to many of them before I came here. A parent who wants their daughters, or sons, to be prostitutes isn't a parent but a poor excuse for a human being. A greedy lowlife that only looks at what they can get from their kids belittling themselves with strangers. Seeing one bar girl marry a rich farang makes jealousy, and you know what comes from that. I don't like to see women, or boys, taken advantage of, even if they seem to be going along with it because of instability in their thinking. Selling your body doesn't give you a better life. It only buys you things. Things that wear out, break or you get bored with. A bar girl doesn't look at their husband as a partner. Just a better transaction they made, for the time being.

Better choice of words would be confidence in your abilities.

I've been married 3 times, and they weren't successful because I married three with mental illnesses. Depression, narcissism and former childhoods with parents of the like. If you're an adult, you understand what you're attracted to isn't a choice, but what you stay with is. They were not normal. My problem was not getting to know them longer before I made a commitment to them. It wasn't personal to you, it was made from what you've been saying over the years here, and I took it as being truthful. Maybe it isn't.

Unlike most farangs here, when I came here I helped out on the farm with my now ex's family, being stronger than any of them even at age 62, and they always were telling their neighbors who never saw this themselves. Outside in the heat, 8 or more hours, planting, fertilizing, cutting cassava and rice, loading bags of rice, and putting them on the tractor. I did this until we divorced last year. Before I came here, I worked both in a sporting goods store, in hunting and fishing, and also helped a cousin build decks outside in Texas heat, so I fully understand what it's like. I'm an outdoors person, and understand reality full well. Hard work as a farmer isn't a dream. It's a necessity for those who haven't the education of knowledge to do another job, like Tesco, 7-11, Car dealerships, offices and the like. A kid that doesn't want to be a farmer has many choices here. The wages are low but that's the norm here, and millions live with it for years. No one wants or has to sell their body to survive.

You do realize, with your habit of purchasing women, that your opinion is even less valid than most. Anti sex propaganda? Who is against sex? Not normal people. This isn't normal sex. It's a transaction, where it's mostly the man who has pleasure, and some that are involved get beaten or killed. Thailand's rate of STD'S isn't propaganda. Statistics come from hospitals and clinics, who report these incidences. People who are pro prostitution are those that need to buy a woman, or boy, for sex, those who make money in the act, and those who make money trafficking young girls and boys. Having not caught anything, that you know, because many are asymptomatic, means so far you've been lucky. A bar girl will never live a normal,married life, and if you think so, you're completely clueless. The problems with sleeping with many men, for money, are passed down into her future relationships, and I'm sure you've seen some of this with yours, even though you might not admit it. Kids from former prostitutes don't look at their own sexuality as normal, because mom did it skews their thinking about their own.

Which explains what you do and don't understand about mental health. Why she did it is coming from her childhood. Bad first experiences from sex, rape, abuse, no role models to guide her. When you ask someone, you need the whole, true picture.

And risk her life and health for a bit extra money, much of which goes towards renting and living in a city. And there is always work here, for those that want it, and aren't too lazy.

Actually, yes. A much safer occupation where pride comes into the picture, as well as helping the family, getting exercise, and not exposing yourself to some dirty pigs who like to use, and sometimes hurt young girls and boys, and might leave them with a disease they can't get rid of.

Should have chosen an occupation better suitable for you, because a social worker has a risky job. Danger to themselves in places they have to go, exposing themselves to many underprivileged people. Seeing some of those revert back to bad habits that might kill them. Putting a child back into a dangerous situation or taking them out of a safe one. Some social workers have been killed, and if you take the job, as in the position of a police officer, you are risking your and others lives. Not willing? Try another line of work.

X is a 12 year old girl, clueless to what's right or wrong about her sexuality or others, and has a mom who thought working in a bar was a better choice. It's not. It makes you a whore and X has to live with that, and sadly might think it's okay because "mom" does it. X hears from other clueless children that what some, some meaning a very tiny part of the population, other really messed up children have done to make money. X knows from hearing from others, that life is hard in Thailand. What X doesn't understand, is that, except for some very well off people, most people have a hard life, and you have to work hard to be secure in life. X thinks there is little work, although jobs are plentiful here, especially if you finish school, or better yet, go to college. X has heard you can get an STD from improper sexual activity. She's dead on, with Thailand being a country with a high incidence of STD'S. What Confuscious doesn't realize, is that some things are facts, and some are opinions, and opinions mean nothing.

Pictures aren't the act. Might want to research awhile before posting. Prostitution isn't normal behavior, even though you might partake in it, seeing you know where to go to see underage girls.

Women, and mostly girls, and some boys, are sometimes forced. Others are pushed by their idiot parents so they can get more money. Some more are abused sexually as children, many times by relatives, and think the behavior is normal. Normal behavior, thinking, doesn't get women into prostitution. There are always jobs they can work. Though it might get you more money than others, it's not the choice of a normal thinking person.

Guess you've never been there, or used a computer to see that the US is the most advanced country on earth. But prejudice and ignorance betrays such information.

The only way to let others know they are in the wrong is telling them. Honking your horn lets others know, and it doesn't matter that some think Thai's are never wrong. This is why bad behavior continues. Mai pen rai doesn't work all the time like many here think it does. If I see someone going very slow in the lane, hugging the line, I'll pass them and pull over far to the left for awhile, letting them know it's what you do if someone wants to pass safely. Of course, many won't care nor understand what you're doing, but some will, and then it'll be a habit of theirs from then on, to show respect for others on the road. Something millions here don't yet have. If you drive like many do here in the US, you'll pay a lot of money, and that's the best teacher. As far as others having a gun, yes, that happens and people get shot at. If someone pulled a gun out at me while passing and pointed it at me, they're going down, and then to jail, because no court system on earth allows that behavior.

What is true is that a lot of parents , especially here with dads, are missing. A child without a father around grows up with only one for guidance, and a woman can't teach a boy how to be a man. What she can teach, if she's not in Bangkok while the kids are with grandma, is respect for elders, other's property, animals, and other's space. Being very strict doesn't work, nor does being too lenient. There's a fine line between discipline and not caring enough. Locking a child in his room is abuse. It shows them you are out of control, and controlling a bad situation is a parent's job. It's abandonment instead of teaching a lesson. Time out's are always good, if they are a teaching tool and not just top shut them out because you don't want to let them learn what they did is wrong. If a fire happened, not that there would be such bad timing, and they were locked in, it might be a disaster. As far as it being very bad in the US, that's also false. This happens everywhere there is poverty. dads leave, and moms think they have to go elsewhere to work instead of being a parent. leaving the kids with others, many of whom are illiterate, too old, or not caring teaches the child that this is normal behavior. it isn't. If you're going to be a parent, do it. It isn't anyone else's job. Teaching respect for others is priority one, and as we see here, it's not being taught on even a basic level. What they did was wrong from the start. First of all, a scooter can't compete with a car. You always lose. Not wearing helmets and trying to pass on the wrong side is why thousands die each year here. Of course, not enforcement of laws already there is the police not doing their jobs, which leads to more doing the same daily. All that driver had to do was turn slightly to the side and two are on the ground, either very hurt or dead. The stupidity of scooter drivers amazes me. Lastly, the breakdown of the family is the root of all problems worldwide, which is what I agree with in your statement. Not having any kids leaves you totally clueless on the dynamics of raising them, and that's not a putdown. You think it's do this or that, because you saw it growing up, or heard it from others, and it doesn't come close. It's the hardest job on earth, and is why so many fail at it and walk away. Parenting isn't for cowards, and kids having kids, especially here and other poor countries, leaves the next generation in the dark.