ChrisP24

Gotta have someone to lick his wounds....

Don't tell my mum. She thinks I'm working online down there. And my online friends think I'm a digital nomad. Just kidding. I've never been to Vietnam. And my mum passed many years ago.

Good, reflective original post. I read something long ago about marriage that stuck with me, and that was after the initial romantic love wears off or at least matures, marriage is in its essence an economic, social and reproductive partnership. Although it has been many years since I've had a girlfriend (I'm open to it but my wife won't let me, which creates a considerable logistical obstacle), it occurs to me that perhaps having a longterm girlfriend naturally matures into something similar, part of which is a logistical partnership. There are hopefully other aspects too such as emotional support and intimacy. Figuring out what the purpose/benefit of the relationship is to both parties is probably the key to keeping it balanced. Both people might not want entirely the same things, but being willing to meet the other person's needs in exchange for getting your needs met seems healthy enough. To OP, can I ask, how did the five relationships end, who ended them, and is there any commonality to how and why they ended?

Well, actually that depends....

I just completed this quiz. My Score 57/100 My Time 105 seconds  

I think you may be worrying way too much. It's probably quite difficult to find a tenant to rent an entire three-story building, and you've been fortunate to have a good tenant for whom the building works so well that they've made a successful business out of it, and it appears that they may well continue to be your tenant for many more years. Add to this the fact that they continued to pay rent even during the pandemic. As successful business owners, your tenants have a strong interest in making sure that there are no mishaps like what you are worried about. You have insurance, they have insurance, and both of you can get more insurance if you are still worried. But if you really can't stop worrying, maybe consider selling the building. It's probably at peak value right now in light of having such a good long-term tenant and the associated secure revenue stream in place.

Using AI to post seems akin to throwing mud up onto the wall and then posting pics of whatever pattern it makes, as if it were your own meticulously-crafted artwork.

For some reason I am serially amused at the geo-targeted ads based on my IP address that result in me seeing advertisements for things like oceanside resorts in my home state -- which is 100% landlocked. Or clickbait ads that use a recognizable photo of a place that claims to be in my city or state, but isn't even in my country. Sometimes I think that those ads must be intentionally targeting people too stupid or unaware to notice, so they're more inclined to fall for whatever B.S. is being pitched. But then I think of the impact on our younger generation - - they are constantly being lied to or targeted for scams every time they go onto the internet or social media, and some of our kids spend a lot of time on the internet. From the time they first get their first cell phone, they start getting scam texts and calls. I wonder sometimes if that is twisting their view of the world so that they see the world as a place full of liars and scammers, to the point where they never form the concept of humanity being good and people generally being decent and honest.

An "expert" is someone who learns more and more, about an increasingly narrow topic, until at some point they know absolutely everything about nothing at all important. Similarly, perhaps when a person gains more and more free time, spent on increasingly frivolous activities, at some point they have all the time in the world to do nothing at all useful.

If my goal were to show 65k+ being actually transferred to a Thai bank account during each calendar month without any disruption, then if it were me, I would have everything go to my U.S. bank account during the month, and I would transfer my monthly living expenses of 65k+ on the 1st of each following month. That way you're not at the immediate effect of any issues with the pension payers or various payment processors. And if there are any issues, you have the rest of the month to complete the transfer and you also have as a source of funds a month of cash in your U.S. bank or brokerage account.

Good idea, house-sitting for an out-of-country foreigner might be ideal if OP can find that. Not sure how to advertise for that or where that would be advertised. It's a long shot but maybe someone here knows someone in CM. Best wishes to OP and his wife.

I didn't vote because your question is about your GF specifically. So, you visit for a month each year. You enjoy that, she enjoys that too, or at least tolerates it for whatever benefit she derives from it. You didn't say what that benefit is for her, would it be correct to assume that it's financial support whether you are there or not? In any event, clearly one month per year is enough for her, and the "marriage" was an unofficial local ceremony to placate an older relative, with the added benefit of keeping you hooked. This sounds a bit like a timeshare situation - - you only get to stay and enjoy the facilities during your brief alotted time, but in between you still have to pay ever-increasing monthly maintenance fees and occasional special assessments. And when you annualize it you discover that the accommodation is rather expensive for what you get, all for the illusion of ownership. And your unit most certainly does not sit around empty waiting for your next alloted time slot to come around. On the other hand, if you haven't been sending financial support, then maybe it's not a bad arrangement - - you both have someone you know and like with whom to spend a month together each year. And you each have the other 11 months to do whatever you want enjoying your separate lives. That is not necessarily a bad arrangement as long as both people see it that way. Maybe you can strike a fair balance by coming around to her way of thinking, and check to make sure that your financial resources are allocated accordingly. But if you want more than that, then it looks like that will have to come from another partner. And it's going to be very hard to find a partner who views the relationship as full-time and/or exclusive when you can only visit one month per year. So your current situation might be the best you can expect unless you find a local lady (local for you) or move.

I have visited my wife's province in the Philippines many times (Northern Luzon), and think it would be totally livable for a foreigner - - IF - - done with the wife's extended family as a framework and backstop for engaging with locals. And yes not all families or family members are good to have around, but a good family can make life so much easier, safer (and enjoyable!). That said, I personally would not want to live in the province, even short stays have me bouncing off of the walls by the third day craving something new to see. It all sounds quaint and relaxing until actually there on the ground and reality sets in. At least that has been my personal experience.

In recent years I've started referring to myself as an old guy, especially when around younger people. Because when I was their age I perceived people my current age as old. I don't feel old, but from their perspective I am, and I simply recognize that from their perspective, they're right. Doesn't bother me.

I just completed this quiz. My Score 40/100 My Time 72 seconds