Mr Jones

I see lots of people asking for help translating words etc just thought it would help

lez

Just found a useful web site.

www.thai2english.com

hope it helps

lez

Now we have a problem was it a racist joke?

If yes, what race was it aimed at?

Am I a big black man or am I a skinny white man?

Answers on a postcard or sealed down envelope

Lez

PS, I’m also very antiracist

You have to remember why the Australians are a bit paranoid regarding importing living things to name but a few.

Rabbits.

Foxes.

Buffalo.

Cats.

Pet dogs.

Finally Camel, the only country in the world that has herds of wild Camel

I left out horses for obvious reasons.

download a visa form from the High Commision of India web site, Thailand, follow the instructions. I dont think you can use an agent, you have to do it yourself.

lez

I done exactly the same as Bob above.

only 1 month ago.

i felt much better after 24 hours,

a month later I feel 10 years younger

and I still have half a pack not a foot away from my hand untouched.

lez

Just a point on ECT the man who first dreamed it up a Portuguese, who’s name I forget, was shot dead by one of his victims, how the <deleted> did the thing inducing a fit would cure anything.

Sorry for the hijack

Lez

Summer, I can pretty well say yes to all those things, except I'm not sure what a banger car is. I'm Aussie so I guess you have something to work with.

A banger car is one with

Holden on the front and more than a year old

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The white man faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.

I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said,

"Turn around "

that sounds very much like a mild heart attack, go see a doctor or next time you may not get up and post in this forum.

lez

far two many inglish teatchers in dis forim

and i will be looking for your next spelling mistake

Baboon,

Go see John K.

He will sort your problem out, and I promise it will never rear its ugly head again

Lez. DHP.

ask for mates rates.

Same happened to me, I knew my marriage was past redemption, tried talking to her to no avail.

So I opened a new bank account took out a huge loan on my/our house, I knew she was taking advice from a solicitor, I also knew that the only reason for in the UK is un-reconcilable breakdown of marriage, we where not arguing ore anything we just had nothing left.

Filled my case with what I needed got in my car and just fcuked off.

That was over 20 years ago no seen hide nor heir of her since

he will be top man in prison if found guilty

Women talking over coffee.

The conversation went to the happiest day of their life.

It was when I walked down the isle of our church.

Everyone’s eyes on me.

I slowly walked down the isle, looked at my husband.

And screwed the lid on the coffin.

Today is International Very Good Looking, Darn Smart Woman's Day, so please send this message to someone you think fits this description. Please do not send it back to me as I have already received it from a Very Good Looking, Smart Woman! And remember this motto to live by: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" Have a wonderful day

_______________________________________________

To the Girls!!

Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what happened. -Cora Harvey Armstrong-

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies (Unknown) aka Helen Matz

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy--Helen Hayes (at 73)-

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs I think of them as stray eyebrows. -Janette Barber-

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being – hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. -Erma Bombeck-

Old age ain't no place for sissies. -Bette Davis-

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. -Caryn Leschen-

If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. -Catherine-

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.-Roseanne Barr-

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson-

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. -Eleanor Roosevelt-

Send this to five bright women you know and make their day.

with photo

type Q wave into your search engine.

lez

at least he will keep his hand, not like in his homeland

It is not just in Thailand,

If you notice when a doctor receives their doctorate the chancellor wares gloves, this is because there is a chemical compound infused in the certificate, it removes two little sentences in every know language from the memory of the recipients

1, I don’t know.

2, I was wrong.

Never heard a doctor say either.

Lez

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8...iatry&hl=en

says all that needs to

good reason to quit smoking.

and another

When I was a kid food was always fresh and in season, a tin of peaches on a Sunday maybe a tin of peas. Type 2 diabetes was practically unheard of, (adult onset diabetes it was called)

Now everything comes pre-cooked, sugar is added to everything because we are hard wired to eat sweet foodstuff

Anybody done jungle survival will know not to eat anything that tastes bitter.

The high starchy high Carbohydrate food we ate we could manufacture enough insulin to cope with it, then we started overloading with highly sugared food (McDonalds where caught adding sugar to their fries) now everything is processed with added sugar

I was diagnosed as being diabetic, if I hadn’t stopped consuming Carbohydrates I would probably be on insulin now, as it is my fasting mmo/l is 5.5 and never more than 10 during the day, for those who are interested a fasting mmol over 7 you’re a diabetic.

I do eat some Carbohydrates but not much, a piece of fruit a Childs portion of rice the odd potato but mostly meat and fish

The usual way diabetes is diagnosed is a visit to the doctor because you are always thirsty and peeing all the time, or a sudden weight loss when you are eating normally and not feeling to energetic.

Then off to the hospital for a glucose tolerance test. Nothing to eat only water to drink from midnight, a blood sample is taken, you drink about half a pint of liquid glucose, 2 hours later another blood sample is taken, then off you pop.

A week later your doctor tells you that your diabetic, and gives you a diet sheet and advice on what not to eat, a prescription for pills.

The diet recommended by diabetes (what ever country you are in) is a diet that will ensure your diabetes will get worse and eventually end up on insulin.

Then big phama who supports the Diabetes charities makes even more money.

In the UK a Accu Chek testing kit costs about £7 it comes in a very nice carry case and free batteries for life the test strips cost £1 each, of course in the UK a diabetic doesn’t have to pay foe prescriptions, so the NHS pays. Big phama.