Fat is a type of crazy

It's funny I thought this type of argument was at a minimum a bit tongue in cheek but clearly not. When I got married I don't remember her or I saying 'You must let me sha g you for all eternity where and when I want it'. Do you want to sha g someone, week after week, if they are not into it. Separate. She should too take care of her man and accommodate his needs in a reasonable way for as long as is possible. Some wife's no doubt are manipulative and play games in an unfair way. To say though 'You got married with me 30 years ago and therefore you have to continue to cop this 3 times a week' is strange and disheartening in my opinion. I think it is natural for both parties, high sex drive or not, to lose attraction to each other over time. Hopefully you can do nice things and have a happy life to extend that as long as possible. That is my opinion not having had a marriage longer than 5 years, and a 10 year relationship with a lot of time apart, so maybe others can shed light on a different way of looking at things.

I took an ipad when I went to Thailand and was shocked at what a different experience it was compared to my work computer at home. Slower. So annoying. Flashing stuff and sometimes covering the text.

I am 50 50. Stand up to China but the position is well known and no need to rattle the cage just for the sake of it.

In. Out. Combinations of in and out. Not sure about looking in between. I think I'd go cross eyed.

I am not dividing humans into 2 categories as I already stated above. We can look in or out. 2 things. Don't think there's a third category.

I had maximum lock down in the world in Melbourne Australia. Feel for others but for me working from home and the simple life will be a fond memory into the future. Luckily working from home is still a thing for two days a week and right now full time due to concerns of a winter rise. Otherwise everything's open.

I don't dispute that you have the right to be a bit peeved. They'll be women who like it year after a year and that may depend a bit on her and the man. That's why though I am sympathetic when men have affairs after say 10 or 20 years of marriage . Often the woman probably doesn't care as long as he doesn't spend too much. You have just given a reason why I am happy not to be in a long term marriage. My key point though is I think if you are feeling your wife, of 20 years or so, is bad or is being sneaky or has used long term cunning for not wanting to be ploughed 3 times a week despite her feelings, based on signing a contract 20 years before, is a bit harsh.

Not one of our longer term girlfriends or wives haven't been in the situation where we want a sha g and she doesn't really but she takes one for the team. I suppose though saying it's a right of a relationship, because you bring home the bacon, that she should do that year upon year three times a week just because, is something I don't agree with.

I find this topic a key issue of life but maybe to others it seems like nothing much. I am talking about the implications of our own actions on our selves. The way to live life. Not whether we should police the actions of others for their own benefit. But I suppose the religious and political view is often that we should. I am differentiating too between say the more subtle adverse aspects of drugs in finding your better self as against the adverse bigger effects to your actual life and health.

I am not saying we are one or the other but that if there is a part of us to be found, or a certain peacefulness or heart to be found, it may be found through introspection or meditation on the one hand or through lessons learned in an active life on the other, or both. My point then is that extremes on either side are in my opinion less likely to lead to good outcomes. I could be wrong. I think everyone probably uses a bit of both but the more sensitive types might be hurt too much by too much action or indulgence and benefit more from looking inwards. Hope this makes sense.

I appreciate what you are saying and that marriage should be a two way street and that it could be unfair if she just says no full stop. If you are being nice and gentle and she is just rejecting it out of hand you could have a basis for divorce. I think though the nature of sex it can be a wonderful pleasure for a woman but it can easily become something different, unpleasant, and potentially a form of coercive control. Rape at the extreme. I thinking the impact on your psyche of fixing the fence or taking her out to dinner is different to a woman having to lie there and feeling she is obliged to get sha gged three times a week. It can sound like she is being used as a kind of rubber doll and that can't feel good.

It's not dividing humans but dividing what can be done to find oneself. Either look within or act in the outside world. Not sure if there's a third category.

I just mean 2 broad categories i.e. if we are to find ourselves in some form, is testing ourselves in the world the way to do go, or can you find it within. The two options could encompass everything from extreme meditation and staying alone, on the one hand, or total indulgence of the senses, or extreme hard work, or extreme sports on the other. Taking mushrooms and such may seem to be in both categories but has its own significant risks. I think it is likely a combination of both approaches might be best, but towards the middle, rather than in at the extremes or acting in a way that is logically likely to hurt you or others. Maybe finding yourself is just a load of cobblers.

Warning: Feminism ahead Some say I expected x amount of sex in my marriage and didn't get it. Thai women did the job. I just wouldn't hold a bad feeling to the ex for this reason. Though a man may have the right to expect a s hag from time to time it is not surprising that a woman over time, possibly living the life a of a bored housewife or in a boring job, might not feel enamoured with a three times a week sha g where she feels an obligation to satisfy her wonderful deserving husband. She may have had the best of intentions at the start of the marriage but when the man says in so many words 'Lay down it's time for my sha g' 5 or 10 or 30 years into the marriage it's understandable the act may lose it's sense of breathless romance and she may end up withdrawing her compliance. Not really anyone's fault. No bait and switch. Time happens. It might seem obvious but some seem to have a different opinion.

I did want to note my post above discussing vices was not to indicate the person I was replying to was such a person. Just noting that I feel there are two ways of looking at life. One is a more buddhist approach of finding yourself within. The other is that by pushing boundaries in all sorts of ways you can find yourself. The latter is more appealing but I just find the former to be a more honest appraisal of human nature. Could be based on personality type too and the degree to which such indulgences or risks are done in good faith.

Ronnie, Talk to Russia - YouTube Devo - Cold War (Freedom of Choice - 1980) - YouTube The 80's was cool

If ever I have an opinion that’s against porn or prostitution or gambling or drugs it is not because the people doing it are bad or the act itself is bad but that we have to know our limitations in terms of dealing with stimulus. It sounds like you have had an interesting high adrenaline life and it might be that going back to a normal life is hard and causes some of difficulties. Same with some of the other stimulus. Not an original thought but it is the one thing that religion might teach that has merit. That we are not as strong or as free as we think we are. We have to work for it bit by bit.

Time to pull out my boring 80’s travel stories. In terms of islands had a good trip from Java to Bali to Lombok to Sumbawa to Komodo to Flores to Timor. Then a short flight to Darwin. Lombok is really different to Bali - Muslim and drier but nice beaches in the south and on the Gili islands. Spectacular mountain. Komodo has the lizards. Flores is large and has a lot of forest. Has a mountain with 3 different coloured lakes. It has a Portuguese Christian influence. Kupang in Timor is a bit different too.

You changed your response from 'I don't live in Florida' to 'Sorry you are confused'. It's almost as if .. someone on Asean Now is lying. Can't be.

Fair enough. The other poster was called Issan Farmer or something. Had strong ideas about the same topic and wrote similar posts. You made a reference to Florida in a different post in the last 24 hours. Coincidence.

I think you gave advice on this previously under a different name. Before you went to move to Florida. Your previous comments were food for thought in my case as I am not married but have a long term girlfriend. Due to a range of factors I don't want to marry and have given her total freedom. In fact she has wanted to break up twice in the last six months and I said yes twice but then she came back. All I can say is different people have different experiences and different ideas of freedom. You may say she or I have no other choices and it's not fair but she does as do I. Sometimes marriage and some idea of ultimate long term bonded love is just not something that appealing to both parties and we can both be happy and not married. As long as you be fair not being married does not have to be a sign of being unreasonably selfish or of immaturity. In fact it can be a sign that you are happy with your own life and don't need to be fully bonded to someone else.

It is a stupid name

Have you read Ayn Rand. The Fountainhead. Atlas Shrugged. Hugely big in the states. Or was. Many of the ideas are a bit abhorrent from where I sit now but the books kind of changed my life at the time I read it on the benefits of capitalism and freedom. I say abhorrent because I don't now think extreme capitalism is freedom because people are born with huge advantages over others and to be free there has to be some accounting for this. She came from Russia and could see the stark contrast between communism and capitalism. She was an atheist and kept politics out of personal lives and believed in science absolutely but still managed to be the darling of many Republicans. That's the side of Republicans that I can have some respect for, even though I am in the Australian centre of politics, which you will probably agree is a fair way to the left of centre in the states. But most of what right wing means today seems to be about some distorted cynical christian judgement, helping the rich and placating the poor, and not believing and following real science and that's not freedom.

Not bad. The setting would make you think they are making fun of the left but the topic i.e. accepting the reality of proven scientific theory is definitely more applicable to the religious right. One of few practical links to the left is on the trans debate. It would be good if trans people could say ' I was born in a male body but feel like I am a woman. I am not sure of the science of it or why I feel this way but I would appreciate if you could let me live how I like.' The non trans could say ' I don't know that you are a woman in any scientific sense but if you prefer to live that way no problem'. On those rare occasions that can potentially affect trans and non trans alike, e.g. toilets or sport, we can just try and have a sensible discussion so there is a fair outcome. No need to make it such a big deal.

Thanks for explaining that. I don't quite get how we create our own reality or what it would mean in practical terms but I accept that I can't expect his many musings to be summarised in a few lines.