I am a woke, "climbed-out-of-the-hole" individual. The gist of the forum is not what the cops will do if you use the "wrong" restroom; it's what those unwoke, "still-buried-in-the-hole" individuals think of those who claim a gender and use a restroom different from that which they think they should.
I don't know what to say about your anxiety while in school, but I applaud your acceptance of the unisex toilets used in Japan. I've traveled all over the world, too, but now I live in Thailand, where, as you probably know, they do have male/female toilets. However, women, or people who appear to be women, clean the male toilets and probably the female ones, too.