Prubangboy

Man, I would love that. Anal dilation width details? Sign me up.

Further thought from my wife, just now: "He thinks art galleries are posh" -followed by snort of derisive laughter.

Def get in touch for a meal. Status update: I'm on a weed fast. Maybe for good. My wife looks in here and won't meet you. As she put it: "He's no StickyRiceBalls".

It sounds like you agree with me. Pre-Thailand, your life was terrible (prob some rage and sadness in that mix). Most people I meet here are processing some life trauma. That's among oldies. The young in my building are here for NGO work or Muay Thai. Thailand is like the old conception of The French Foreign Legion, which people famously joined to "forget". Except for Laurel and Hardy, who forgot what they were trying to forget by the time they travelled by foot to Morocco to join.

Friends reference -and I'm the one who's out of date? You can never argue anything because you really have nothing to say beyond "look at me". Your various interruptions are 100% about that. Even in this simple discussion about whether playing the creepy card is loser move, you are incapable of staying on topic.

Tell us more about this paralyzing creepiness you suffer from that seems to flick on and off like a light switch. Is it a physical sensation, or just a temporary malaise that attention has briefly shifted away from you? Your creep-aversion is wholly made up and completely unbelievable -unless you can articulate it. But like your planned physical confrontations with people here, that's likewise never going to happen.

I...I.... don' unnnnerstannnn -is your other big dodge. If you're so easily sexually creeped out, stop going to hookers. I mean, duh.

No wait. YOU'RE the bigger retard for leaping into the troll net like a dumb carp at every slight provocation. And: Nothing is lamer then the insult of creepiness. If you are so easily creeped out, time to buy a fainting couch. Creepy is a term used by people without any real complaint, as a weak attempt to shame. Women use it when an unattractive man approaches them. So conveniently vague. Just a dumb, cowardly dodge. You use it about every third post. Because you have no insult game either. You thought that people talking about sex was "creepy". Are you a Mormon? You say you had sex with 400-550 women (depending on the post), and yet when OTHER people talk about sex, you retreat behind your powder puff like a fop and sniff, "it's sooo creepy".

Iron clad rule: Any BigNok post past page one and a half is just him fighting over absolutely nothing with people who hate him, but are totally lacking in terms of amusing insult game. It's like watching retards walk into street sign poles, but without the comical BONK! sound. I see a lot less posting by me in his duller than dirt feuds in my future.

The child is a hostage used to extort cash. And when push comes to shove, the child will side with the mother, not you. Eventually, the mother and the child will leave and/or find another branch to swing to. After 6 years of a worsening situation, it's time to go. I supported someone else's kids for 8 years. Those kids don't speak to me, through no fault of my own. It's a loss, but I got over it. And so will you.

Looked hard at Borneo. You're pretty much locked into a pricey tour these days. Sulawesi is unique among junglish places with a little bit of anthropological interest in that it lacks a strong touristy brand. You virtually never hear about the place. I'd liken it to Trinidad, a place with a lot of interest that doesn't really need or particularly want tourists due to natural resources and port status. See also: Amazon Rain Forest, Madagascar, African Safari, Easter Island -other expensive places where you're kept well on a leash. Small boat cruises to the little Indo islands run about $500-$800 a day, with a painful single supplement if you go alone. Oddly, Antartica cruises are very forgiving about the single supplement these days. But doing them outside of the summer months is pure misery. This coming burning season is my year to push out the boat, travel-wise. I want more of an Indiana Jones type experience than luxury (but not too onerous) It's not been hard to find places to take my money. The adventure travel segment has plenty of vacancies.

Doggedly not deciding is really just stealth-deciding. My friend in Laos who wrote a big Laos Culture book got a secret vasectomy so as not to be bothered. That's stealth-deciding I can get behind.

The common denominator among the late age Dads in Roi Et is that they were really unhappy, relationship-wise, pre-Thailand and finally feel emotionally supported and useful. Could they have gotten that kind of joy elsewhere? Who can know? I was fine back home. I've had a lot of great love from women and can prob always be with someone high quality if I want to be. Here or there. That's not me being more evolved or desirable than Roi Et-Dad, that's just the dumb luck of the draw of who you meet and how you play it. Where does the urge to merge come from? Hopefully, not a place of scarcity.

I am agog at the number of late age dads here who are happy. Partic when they came here for a good time instead. Read their stories; are you like those guys? Me: no double-way. As my friend dying in a dead bedroom marriage in Japan said: "You go to bed with Suzie Wong and you wake up with Yoko Ono". -Don't be that guy. If she's 35 (and Thai?) the train is leaving the station for her. You'll be fired soon enough, so front load the anal now.

Other than my wife and my Sulawesi-bound friend, the world pretty much forgets I exist whenever I leave the room. Any real judgment of me is reflexive and very short lived. People just want me to be cheery and brief. Thailand is a very good teacher of this.

I see a lot of disappointment and hardship in the parents I know (including my wife). People assume I am regretful about being childless. If I can get away with it, I'm happy to let them think of that. There's a ton of stuff that I'm supposed to l want, or think or buy. And when nobody's looking, I just don't.

Happiness never sticks around. Someone here made the point that most people have a set happiness point, like their metabolism. Any gym goer will tell you that trying to nudge your metabolism is hard work. And that when you stop, your wonky metabolism resets quickly. There's another good book called How To Be 10% Happier. 1 sentence summary: Just be less enamored to happiness and more accepting of the current moment.

My pre-Thailand story has a lot of rage and sadness in it. So pretty much the same as just about everyone else's pre-Thailand story. I feel that old rage and sadness every day. A lot of it resonates with much older rage and sadness. It comes and goes. I have a very good life. At 71, to be still doing my wife is like winning the Oscar. If I'm still unhappy, please take me out and shoot me. Since you're self-help-ish, google Constructive Living, a zen based approach to getting over yourself. Prime quote: Suffering is mandatory. Misery is optional (ie. don't dwell on it).

Had I knocked a woman up, I would have hopped a freight train like a hobo.

I've helped raise a couple, and my wife has an adult daughter -but no (thank god).

My fave teacher said that for people who don't want to meditate, a thing they might instead try is just to ask themselves a few times a day: "What the hell is going on?" Are you tense, are you tired, are you lost in some imaginary conversation? Over time, you will gain a little insight into your thought process. Said Ram Dass: "Become an educated connoisseur of your own very exquisite neurosis".

.....more to the point, try relaxation response and yogic breathing. The other stuff like detachment and patience work is accomplished by lowering your ego. Meditation is a very roundabout approach to that. Try Buddhist psychology instead. Two books: Why Buddhism is True and Buddha Brain will lay out the logic of why your ego is just a pile of nonsense. Then it would be a very slow, water on a rock process to be a little lighter.

It's very unpredictable. It's like tennis camp. Some people have a gift for it and take to it, others just find it to be a miserable slog. 99% of people who do a 10 day retreat on vacation in Asia never meditate again. Less than 1% have a daily practice. It's also very mentally grueling. For general self improvement like you are suggesting, it's not very helpful. It's a spiritual pursuit. Said my fave teacher, "It would be a shame if the 5,000 year tradition of searching for enlightenment to be of service to others got dumbed down to being a mental cocktail that just makes you feel a little bit better". Mae Hong Son has a place with no strict schedule and no silence requirement. Try 3 days there and see if you want to do more. I've done a few 30 and 90 day retreats. Do I seem particularly evolved or Dali Lama-chill to you?

True, I'm almost tempted. Sulawesi is also a cheap/unspoiled place for rain forest lodges and wildlife viewing of not seen elsewhere animals. There's a town with funny roofed houses where their way of life is based around elaborate funeral planning. Every attraction is a day's drive in between or a very fickle flight. There's enough to fill 12 days without even going to the Togean Islands. All of the islands def take some time to get to (no flights). Most people do long stays on a single island or two. The far flung Indo islands are still very untouristed. 95% of Indo-bound tourists just go to Bali. Maybe Medan for the orangutans and Lake Toba for hippies after Medan. The rest of Indo sees few whities, partic the non-beach parts. Not that cheap. Call it $60 for a passable room and the same again for someone to drive me around. But Borneo would cost double and Papua is too dangerous.

I'm going to Sulawesi in April. My friend describes it as Muslim Laos. 'Wouldn't mind a cruise of the little islands like Ambon either. Youtube shows Sulawesi as some really ugly towns with low class soup restaurants. It's like less developed Sumatra, a place you drive thru spectacular scenery to samey dumps. As far as Asian Muslims go, Indo's are my fave. If they're eating pork at every meal, they're def Allah-lite. My friend had 2 Muslim Tinder scores in Jakarta.