DirkGently

I feel sick to my stomach to admit it but..................oh! god forgive me...........I agree with JDINASIA. There I said it.

I have done the visa run myself and yes it is 500ish baht cheaper but I am happy to pay it to one of jacks boys to do the legwork for me.

Jacks is a decent service as far as I am concerned. However, if every 90 days you are unable to arrange/afford a trip to Singapore/Penang/Myanamr/Vietnam/Bejing or someplace. Then you should work a little harder.

i must go and lie down and come to terms with the first line of my post.

Maybe he ate so much fibre in one sitting he is unable to make it to his PC.

You can transfer money straight into the Thai Red Cross account. The number is on their website.

As the royal family are heavily involved in the Red Cross, I doubt that the money would be misused.

Whilst it doesn't matter one jot what people think of me, I am remineded of something I saw a few weeks ago.

Upon exiting the BTS I was walking behind a smartly dressed farang man that stopped at a fruit vendor at the bottom of the stairs. He stopped and spoke in Thai to the young lady and purchased some chopped mango. As he walked out of earshot she turned to her friend and sneered "farang kee nok" as if him doing the same as many Thais was somehow disgusting to her.

It's the same as when I potter up to Tesco's in my flip-flops, similar flip-flops to many Thais in Tesco's. I have noticed people gawping at my feet. My clean and well maintained feet I hasten to add.

I cringe when I hear oldies describe their wives as "My wife, Pat, who graduated from Chula and is now working for the ministry of energy and has never been married before, likes pork."

Would you hear anyone say "my wife, Jane, who left school at 16 and did nothing with her life until she found a part time cleaning job, reads in bed"?

I just want to say "my bargirl, Lek, who I have forgiven for robbing me that time grew up in the jungle and has dozens of elderly boyfriends keeping both of us".

For the record, my wife, @@@@ graduated from @@@@@@@@ and is the owner of @@@@@@@ and has never been married, prefers beef.

Morning sun on my balcony beats a tumble dryer hands down.

The people doing this are no doubt straight out of the Thai university cloning programme. They will doubtless be clueless.

During normal surfing, by that I mean not adult material or political, I have been amazed to find sites for universities blocked.

From top to bottom there isn't a person on the censor team that has a clue. The minister in charge admitted to rarely using the internet and found one of the most popuar sites in Thailand "confusing", for forks sake.

Their dummy spitting episode over YouTube simply led to a HUGE rise in proxy use. I'd like to see them put that genie back in it's bottle.

Did the run and got back at 3pm. As uneventful as ever, but we did seem to be in the casino longer than normal.

Getting back into the kindom did take longer as a 100 or so Cambodians seemed to be coming through. As they all seemed to be carrying their belongings and were then seen sat down in rows while being adressed by a smartly dressed fellow, I can only presume they were coming across for work.

I mention this because it took ages to be processe these guys, so the queue was longer and slower than normal.

Ok Guys! Lets roll. The thread is as good as over. His worship JDRIGHTSWORTH of Little Rightington, Rightsville has put it all in perspective.

Why we don't all just submit our posts to the Rightness office and have JD set us straight is beyond me.

I know this is a Pattaya based grumble WeHo, but allow me this.

If you want to feel as if you have been kicked in the wallet by a gang of bikers just go to Tony Romas on the corner of soi 5 Bangkok.

I thouight the waiter had forgotton half of my order when it arrived. A half chicken that looked as if they had strved it to death and a miserly half a corn cob.

Then the bill came followed by six bikers to kick my wallet to death.

'Paki' is the new 'Nigger'.

These terms have been used for ages as an offensive term for those we dislike. However, it seems to be the case that British Pakistanis are using the term themselves in the same way American blacks refer to eachother as 'nigger' or, it would seem from album covers, 'Nigga'.

Personally I don't care for the terms. Once they have shown me that they don't act in ways that I dislike I can look past their difference.

You can make your own Frey bentos pie. Simply chop a large onion and 2 tyre inner tubes into a metallic dish. Preferbly one that will add its own flavour. AHHH! Tin!

Next visit the set of a Japanese Bukakke movie and scrape up the left overs for the sauce. Now that you have the right consistancy you need to stir in a dollop of the finish Cornish mud. This is best if taken from a site under a broken pipe at a public toilet.

For the topping simply sandpaper your grandfathers knee, when the scab is nice and crusty just place on top of the pie and place in the oven.

Now the real trick here is to have far too much to drink and remove from oven about 12 minutes short of the cooking time.

I fail to grasp why so many people view Thailand and Thais as un-fathomable.

The country is a mire of ignorance and corruption with a poorly educated majority that simply don't know how to change things, or lack the will to do so. However, the golf is cheap.

The people are a happy go lucky bunch that rarely have depth or curosity but maintain a childish charm civilised attitudes and are pleasing on the eye. Plus the golf is cheap.

The biggest mistake we make is the assumption that Thais can or want to raise their game to accepted western standards. This leads us to get peaced off and visit Thai visa and search for an answer.

Lest we forget, the golf is cheap.

Have used Jacks 5am service a few times and have always got back around 1-2ish.

As for the rant that Astral links to, i am bemused. I have always found Jacks a pretty good service. At the end of the day if you were conveyed to Poipet on a magic cloud as 20 virgins plied you with the finest drinks and fed peeled grapes to you, it would still be a miserable day out.

Jack just about makes it tolerable. As for being 'stuck' in the casino, Im happy with that. No chance of a flutter in BKK.

WeHo, you must dine alone or you wouldn't have so much time for fretting about germs.

Come on people, what are you? The aliens from War of the World. I have given it some serious thought and germs are OK in my book. I have munched through food that was sure to kill a soi dog with nothing more than runny poo the next day.

I ate a bowl of luke warm soup on Laos ferry served by an old lady that had never seen soap.

I cooked food on a stick over a fire in the Burmese wilderness.

I have been covered in mud after a day of off road riding and eaton with my bare hands. Do you think after millions of years mother nature hasn't thought about how to give us some defense?

Are we sterile? No! I would share food with a chinaman who picked it off the floor while the plague was in town.

Panicking over a hair is just plane soft.

P.S WeHo, I even Googled your name just to see if it was something ironic that nobody else would get. WeHo is also the name of a gay movie awards ceremony. Coincidence?

I'll second that Begbie, although not every time.

Whispering is often translating. I have to explain somethings to my wife at times as the Thai translation can be vague. The same as when I see Thai movies and the translation doesn't fit the situation.

However, chatting on the phone is a bridge too far in my view. I have nudged a guy and said "I think you can call him back!". He took the hint. Thais can be jaw-droppingly rude and inconsiderate at times. It's to do with face and never being brought to book for your poor behaviour.

WeHo, I enjoy your posts. They are quirky.

Your obsession with food outlets is great fun. One thing I am sure of however is that you dine alone.

In BKK there is an Italian place in the Arnoma hotel that is hard to beat. 400 baht for 2 people is a real baragin. Freshly cooked pasta dish of your choice and a knockout buffet. It's on the second floor.

If you ask real nice, the chef will dice an entire whicker armchair into your salad to ensure you get plenty of fibre. As WeHo states. Fibre is life! It ensures you crap regualrly. That MUST be what life is all about.

I know all of the lyrics to 'Rappers Delight'.

Where as we may be able to spot the scamming types at a glance, others may not. Possiblely somebody from eastern europe on his first holiday in Asia will presume they are on the level.

You sure are sharped eyed Weho. From dodgy indians to rice waitresses they can't pull the wool over your eyes, can they?

I called into a post office here in BKK and they said Could just load it into one of their vans.

Does this sound like a good idea?

Oddly they said if it was complete then it would be cheaper than if it has bars turned and remains in its packageing.

As ever JD you are right! The best place to be is In Thailand. The way you post in such utter rightness astounds me.

Ozy, I do actually do this. Along with showing him my watch or pointed at something over the road. Anything but a response he has encoutered before. However, there is one constant. You MUST look at him in total shock!

I like to shoo the Pantip sexy movie guys away with a sheet of paper with Thai script saying "no thankyou" and I hold it right up against his nose. I love it.

Why is Thailand now enforcing a security measure that the Britain and other countries have relaxed?

Is it a response to the Muslim problem in the south?

P.S A note to all the PC brigade. Islam and Muslims do not comprise a 'race'. Therefore pointing out that they are to blame is not racism.

Fuk a duk JD, stop being so right all the time. How do you fit so much rightness into a day? With 6000+ post of pure rightness to your name my mind boggles at how you have time to eat.

OZYMANDIOUS< I thought your post was funny and had the correct amount of tounge and cheek.

Personally I do the i-pod thing. I just point at my ears and yell, a-la Dom Jolly style, "I can;t here you".

My second way of doing it and this takes some practice. When approached. Stop! Look stunned. Look down at your feet and maybe inspect the sole of one foot. While maintaning stunned look. Look back at him as if he has just asked if he can feed pencils to your goat. Walk away. For extra points mutter in some alien language.

That sounds great Soundman. I know they use the busses to a fro from BKK so they should be ok on that.

Now you have told me that it has shed light on all the boxes I have seen sans owners over the years.

P.S I didn't think it was that silly

Thanks for that farma, but I would rather send the bike as I don't know if anyone at the other end would know a decent bike and of course the kids would pick the nicest colour. However it's good to know there are such shops there.

Ray23, I'm interested in how. Obviously a pushbike will be much lighter. Did you just wheel it in to a post office and attach a tag to it? Did you need to wrap it in any way for protection?

Plus I think the thrill of a postman knocking on your door with a bike is more exciting than cash and choosing your own.

Thanks chaps.