I disagree with you on almost everything. I lived with my wife for a year before getting married. My mistake was letting her move to the village. Before that we were happy, but her sister wanted her to divorce me and marry someone that gave them lots of money ( I didn't ), so eventually the marriage failed.
If I had the opportunity to do it over, I'd only get a village wedding, so she knew I could walk away at any time, I would not give her any money, but pay the bills.
We'd never live anywhere near the family- as far away as possible and no spare room for them to stay in.
I didn't build her a house or buy her a car or anything like that, as I wasn't that daft.
She worked for her money, and I'd never have given her an "allowance".
I got taken worse financially by my first western partner, so I did learn some lessons, but people change, no matter how we "research" them before getting married. My wife was lovely for years, till the family got to her, then it all changed.