onni4me

1st: Get him and the kids as far as possible from her and cut off all contact, change the numbers etc. NO CONTACT! If there needs to be something sorted out, do it through the lawyer.

2nd: Your son has already let some seedy characters walk allover him on the way to ATM. Big mistake! Now he has actually gotten involved and bent over so they regard him as somehow responsible for the debt. Might be life-threatening in the long run.

3rd: Forget the local school and get as far as possible. Preferably leave the country. She will appear demanding more money and can certainly make a scene to make your son loose the face what's left and maybe loose something else too. The goons know where he is also which makes his life living hell IMHO.

4th: What would it be continuing this farce? Allowing children to live with a potentially dangerous mother and her mafia like surroundings? She has already waved a hammer and more than likely the children will be next target for extortion, even for possible "kidnapping".

I don't know why people let things to get this far. They must be either very foolish or deluded. I personally think no Thai would oppose him giving her a special treatment and I am not talking about any Spa. When allowing this kind of thing go to this point is extremely dangerous. I am by no means violent man but sometimes it is only option if not do the disappearing act. I recommend the latter.

Hub of triple homicides..?

Greed, jealousy, murder for benefit...what else is there in this Thainess? And then we have people who are always defending the Thai Way of doing things...

Hope he gets what he deserves. To think about it, no follow up on the story on the Red Bull heir...he must have been treated with quite a lot of "fairness"...

2,131 cubic meters per person per year

Well, my family has a large garden, 5 Rais or so and 4 people living at the house. Our water consumption is about 70 M3 a month, about 840 cubic meters a year. Washing clothes seems to be the hobby of Thais and having a more than a couple of showers a day a norm.

There is a secondary water system in the village for watering plants and providing drinking water for animals. I haven't connected to the line yet but probably will soon since the price of water is going up all the time. That has a price of 50 Baht a month. Admitted, it is still just 10 Baht a cubic meter at the moment but the price increase was 40% from last year. Local water plant quoted too little usage as a reason to hike up prices..?

Someone suggested a tax increase...no thanks. That road leads to same as we have in my country where the price is staggering 8 euros (4 euros for water AND 4 for so called waste water fee...) a cube...making it hardly worthwhile to wash ones car.

I suppose the biggest consumer in Thailand is farming. But I don't see water as an asset that is used only once. It normally returns with the rains. So called environmentalists of course want everyone pay through the teeth.

One of the hardest patterns of behavior for all of us to deal with is passive aggressive behavior. Passive aggressive behavior happens when the person avoids responsibility and attempts to control others to keep them away through his passivity and withdrawal. It is a dynamic born of fear of being controlled, fear of confrontation, hidden anger and an inability to deal straight with people.

http://www.angriesout.com/couples8.htm

I think pretty much describes what's going on in OP's life...

I think OP is very passive aggressive towards his adopted Thai family. They can of course sense it and act accordingly thinking what's wrong with him. It has never occurred to him that he might actually talk to them through his wife and ask whether they should move out so everyone could be more happy? Or just him? If the talk goes nowhere it is a sure sign that it's time to move out.

He hates, they hate. What more there is to this then waiting for the explosion? The story about the dog sounds like a troll or you are really living a larger than life madhouse show...

According to Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man, a self-help book, a passive man does little to get what he wants as it is too much effort to do so, and ranges from the inept "loser" type to the conformist who does anything to be liked, avoids making waves and rarely says what he feels.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive-aggressive_behavior

And the corruption buster asks foreigners to have proof that there exists corruption in Thailand...and as we know from the testimony of so many here, there is no corruption in Thailand. Nothing to see here. Go home!

In normal countries graft busters collect their own evidence but here that task is left for the possible victims...unbelievable!

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/714375-corruption-buster-urges-phuket-dive-firms-to-provide-extortion-evidence/?utm_source=newsletter-20140328-0751&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=news

1. Yes, of course, to be legal you need the correct visas and a workpermit. And no, this is no bureaucratic nightmare at all.

2. 4 Thai per workpermit. Yes, if you want to make money in Thailand you also have to help the Thais.

3. No, nonsense.

4. No, nonsense.

I don't know how long you've been here but I have seen evidence of quite the opposite to say the least.<snip>

I have been running a legal business here now for over 10 years.

And in all those 10 years you have never seen or experienced nothing suspicious or corrupt or paid one baht of tea money? You must be a real estate agent or used cars salesman...

1. Yes, of course, to be legal you need the correct visas and a workpermit. And no, this is no bureaucratic nightmare at all.

2. 4 Thai per workpermit. Yes, if you want to make money in Thailand you also have to help the Thais.

3. No, nonsense.

4. No, nonsense.

I don't know how long you've been here but I have seen evidence of quite the opposite to say the least.

I was once working for a company in Bangkok that is half government, half private meaning that the top executives are chosen politically, not necessarily based on their capabilities. I got my working order from an Asian co-operation organisation that Thailand is part of and the salary was paid by this Bangkok based company. I asked through email before arriving whether I needed a work permit...no answer...date was closing so sent another request...no answer...called a Thai colleague and he returned the call saying that they don't want to process the WP because it would give me chance to stay in the country longer...&lt;deleted&gt;?! So just sent an email saying that I suppose everything is okay then...stayed and worked for company involving government with no work permit for a month...talk about obeying the law...

What comes to your ridiculous claim that I should run a company to "help Thais" I don't agree. If I want to help people, I do it when and how I like. Not like some forced thing.

You may think that this is an easy country to run a business. Try to say that when you actually run a successful business and someone notices it. That's when the real problems start. I've been doing different things here for the last 12 years or so and can tell you it isn't easy. Love my work, hate the problems related to it.

If you think this is a country following the strict rule of law (they do when it suits them) then you are the one that is non-sensical.

Yep, simply be leagal meaning...

1. Pay for work visa (not just the business you own..) and endure the bureaucratic nightmare or hire a lawyer to "sort it out".

2. For every foreigner the company must hire several Thais (was it 1:4 or 1:5 can't remember?) and pay them salary etc. I suppose nowadays 8000 Baht might cut it 8000 x 4 = 32000 Baht a month to pay for YOUR priviledge of working.

3. Bribes to maintain the status quo until some &lt;deleted&gt; Thai or foreigner has some conflicting intrests in your property.

4. And all the above means absolutely nothing if you don't have the right connections and right connections cost anyway.

The point that all these obey-the-law-or-go-away people miss is that even one has been here decades, dotted all i's and soforth, we have no rights even we are married with children. This will eventually lead to foreigners - those with brains - to look elesewhere for more easy pastures and to the decline of this corrupt and greedy country. Some signs are already showing themselves - when everything was going good for Thais we were just some tourists and just Farang, now when things are getting difficult we are somehow missed since the foreign currency wasn't that bad after all.

Thais and Thailand hasn't moved to this millennium yet with it's laws and regulations. They still remind me of old Soviet Russia where they always loved all kind of paperwork and in the end it could not be processed without a hefty tea money.

I see Thailands future in ten to fifteen years very bleak indeed. Maybe I am not alone? I hope for the best since got my partner and family here but am preparing to move on if things go very bad.

He explained that the water reserves in these three dams were low because the authorities had discharged a large volume of water in 2012.

Yep, they did that to prevent them "overfilling" in case it would've been a new flooding...that never came and now the dams are half-empty...what a punch of *peep*!!!

Ah! Firstly I find it lovely that when someone is having problems people liek Beetlejuice starts to say that they are probably criminals and deserve whatever comes to them. Good going! You fit as a glove to Thailand and Thai attitude.

Secondly, I find it a very stupid and outdated law that if you OWN a business you have to have a separate work permit. Who doesn't want to work in his own business? The costly bureacracy is not helping making your business viable having freeloaders sucking in all profits.

Thirdly, this kind of news give a very clear and loud signal to anyone wanting to start or purchase a business to NOT do so. Let Thais have it all. I see an exodus of Farangs in a medium to long time period. Phuket is a criminal playing ground and I have news for you...most of these criminals are not Farang.

studying for her doctorate in Thai Natural Medicine. I am supporting her while she studies and once she has her qualifications she will be supporting me.

I have no idea what a doctorate in Thai Natural Medicine qualifies for but maybe she can ask next to open a shop for herbal products and skin treatments...you provide, of course.

What comes to her supporting you...er...OMG! Are you kidding? Or is it 'Oh, My Buddha!'

I am sorry but since I've seen so much here last decade or so, I'd like to know how long you have been in LOS? And how long you've been together?

What comes to her need of treatments...well...ladies might need them to feel good about themselves. It is not always how their men see necessary. As it happens, I have several rather wealthy Thai ladies as friends and they spend much more on good quality food and different kind of treatments than I ever would. In many cases they have paid for my lunch or dinner and we are just friends.

I am a bit doubtful about any Thai lady supporting a foreigner...at least if the relationship is at very early stage. My partner does and wants but it has been a long road of 8 years. Patience is not my virtue but needed to learn to adapt in this country.

Well, time will tell but next time a cooling period before approaching the key board might be in order. You gave her the money and credit card and if you did not talk and agree beforehand what she was entitled to do than it is your shame, not hers.

bought a beauty/health spa treatment course for 20,000 baht

If that was her money, so what? Or she robbed it from you or expects you to pay for it?

Consider the money lost if paid already or maybe she gets good treatment from the SPA? I've known Thais that paid half a million for a lengthy treatment period.

Having a fight like this over money is rather bad sign for the future of you two. Patience and listening and sound advice/agreement much better. Or is she your property that can't decide on anything?

Well, I stopped drinking about 3 months ago. Been heavy drinker 20+ years and it was finally catching up on me. I started having lack of energy, stomach was constantly loose, overweight, sleeping bad, looked old and tired...the final drop was that my partner told me that he doesn't understand why I drink.

Most of my social life was in the pubs and when having a drink with friends or people I met. So I had to come up with a plan to fill my hours. I started having long walks 5-8 kilometers whenever I felt restless (= wanting to go to a pub). First month was the worst. I had to take some sleeping pills and painkillers (alcohol is sort of a numbing medium in itself). Second month was much easier and now I feel much better.

The only downside was that when I got more active in sports I got a motorbike accident driving from my exercise place. Now my ankle in cast so need to wait a while. Anyway, I feel it is rather simple. Go see a doctor if you feel bad, they can give you B vitamine injections to help you recover and if you feel anxious or can't sleep just tell them so. I saw a doctor and I believe they don't have similar attitudes towards heavy drinkers that one might experience in the West. The doctor I saw was very supportive and helpful in advice.

One at first will be very bored since drinkers often have only this thing to fill their hours of idleness. But when one starts to get around like going to movies and maybe take that little trip with their loved ones or families, it all starts to change. I started walking with my partner and made a diet plan also. We have now been doing more things together than in last 5 years. I also decided something that may sound silly but made a huge difference...when I was tired, drunk or hungover from the last night, I never wanted to have activities with my lover and family...now I decided to say 'Yes' to any suggestion that is reasonable and involves time together with family. It can be just small picnic that we prepare our own food or a day trip to nearby city on my partners day off. This way new possibilities have opened up to make meaningful things together not to mention that my relationship has improved and now we talk and share.

It will be difficult, you may have relapse, but eventually it is about you. Talk to your friends (those who are not permanent barflies), make plans and stick to them and stay away from people that drink and go to bars. In the end, it is your life. You need to make a promise to yourself to be better, not perfect, but improving slowly. In just few months you will feel like a different person.

I am a bit weak-minded and had one relapse but I don't dwell in that. I feel much better and hope you will feel that when you will love yourself enough to give up drinking. All the best for you.

Most of the accidents are avoidable and preventable, defensive riding doesn't always mean riding at the speed limit, often if means riding way below the limit.

For instance, accident in reply #31(sorry about your luck bud) could have easily been avoided just by riding slower and planning for the escape route before entering the turn, if you took the defensive training, you should have remembered it. I learnt about the idiots overtaking on the blind turns and hills soon after arriving to Thailand and way before I purchased a bike here. I always slow down and pull to the left in those situations. Another comment is, if you're saying the car was passing on your lane and it was a night time, how come you didn't see its lights? You should have seen his lights way before you noticed the car yourself or did he have his headlights off?

Sent from a Nuclear Submarine.

Yeah sure...easily avoided...yep...I'll remember that next time when a car coming at me in a sharp curve about 120 km/h is repeated. As said, the curve was turning right and no way could I've seen lights from that spot.

I find your post holier-than-thou. I hope you will not have to test your skills in a similar situation. I consider myself rather experienced and never drive faster than I feel is safe.

Every situation is different and they do not go away by dribbling something about defensive driving or similar.

I believe I am giving up my bike and stick to my car. My partner has always said that it's not safe and I should believe, I guess. Just enjoy the easy going on a bike looking at the greenery.

Hmm...how you suggest to ride through a car that appears in front of you and no time to stop?

People always seem to come from the angle that they know how to ride a bike, they have the right riding style...until one day...I have long since lost my hope that everyone here would comply with even the most simple road rules.

I accept that anything could happen and that has nothing to do with my driving style. I don't like high speed and try always to maintain safe distance if possible.

It only takes one Somchai to cut in front of you and you can screw your driving style. It becomes more like survival of the fittest in a jungle.

Now...never say that you are so careful, you are so good driver, you know your way in this country...

I had an accident two and half weeks ago. Never saw it coming. Hate to say broke my own rule of not driving after sunset.

I was returning home on a quite steep hill road. Entered a sharp curve and suddenly had a car in front of me. On my lane. Had to make a split second decision whether to have a full heads on collision or try to steer away.

Went left to the gutter, the right crash bar hit first concrete sign post and the bike turned around me flying on my back about 5-7 meters. Bike went on hitting the second pole turning upside down before landing.

I remember looking my bike on my left side. Remember this was night so could only see the back lights on. Don't remember much until some rescue guys turned up carrying me to their vehicle. Can't remember what kind of car it was neither was I inside or outside or anything.

Next recollection is when at ICU doctor asking me something and giving me my mobile where my friends was on the other end. Managed to call the right number for some family member. Accident occurred around 8 PM and when the call was made it was 2 AM. I have no clue what was going on during those hours.

At some point family turned in and I was taken home. When finally reached home I started vomiting. I suppose it was due to concussion of some sorts. Next two days went in a blur having strong painkillers. My father called and I was talking about the scratches on my bike, nothing about having my ankle in a cast.

Since then slowly improving. Find it awkward to go around with crutches especially since they are too short for me.

The Honda Phantom itself sustained less damage than I thought. Gasoline tank needs to be replaced, mirrors are gone as well as front light and crash bars are done but regarding the smash it could have been much worse.

Helmet was completely smashed so I probably would not here to tell the story if I would not have been using one.

Have been driving in LOS 11 years so have plenty of experience but as said can happen to anyone.

Building methods have improved a lot over the last few hundred years, so there is no reason why a flat roof can not be used in tropical climates.

So did they think when they started this modernist style. Le Corbusier made more mistakes than any other architect. He thought that building as a living machine would suit any climate. Unfortunately it didn't.

Here is an opinion of his architecture and I concur with it:

http://www.infiniteabyss.org/2012/03/24/corbusier.html

Just cause old Thai houses do not have them means nothing.

Yes, it does. Water stays away from the walls, windows and living area.

If a whole building looks dirty, its cause it needs a paint job.

Or is growing black mold which can not be removed since it's growing inside the walls. Painting does nothing, it will reappear rather soon.

Many flat roofed buildings look good after a few years, but in any regard, every building needs something called maintainance.

I prefer my building look good all the time and not just few years. Modern flat roof buildings don't age very well. Yes, buildings need maintenance but flat roof buildings more than some. Especially if there is always a pool upstairs when it's raining.

^ How do you pronounce nineteen then? Should answer your question.

In my country 18 year old is an adult and one is fully responsible of his actions when 16 according to the law.

I call this murderer as a young man. Or are you feeling for him?

How long a person is a teen in Thailand? I would not call a 19 year old a teenager.

I find this 'forgiving' attitudes and 'moral support' appalling. Personally I would like to see him hung high.

Seems in this country any lame excuse goes.

Another reason why I stay out of Phuket. I find their attitudes appalling. Visited earlier few times but IMHO the worst rip off place in Thailand. Sceneries are beautiful but don't do much when you are constantly hassled and paying for overpriced lousy service.

It gets worse when you actually speak Thai...