473geo

Here in Isaan if necessary people can eke out an existence as far as every day living on occasion with fish from the ponds and fields home grown rice, some vegetables, yes somtam, leaves and fruit from the trees, cook on an fire, no frills 40 baht a day would cover it In the cities different less self sufficiency So why do we need wage hikes? To facilitate consumerism and enable people to pay purchase prices and repay loans generating profits for business ????

In my opinion, learning the subtlety of managing your surroundings without too much conflict is at the head of the 'survival in Issan' noteworthy necessities It doesn't do to piss people off, but being a doormat gains no respect either No need to go at things like a bull at a gate, if there are too many people around I go to the local town for a coffee, I don't mind the sisters kids coming to play as ours go to grandma's too, but I make it clear first thing in the morning to last thing at night is not on! So how to do that without conflict ???? well I told my wife if they were living with us they and grandma could have the spare room, aircon, hot shower I guessed grandma wouldn't want to leave her home, that turned out to be the case we are now seeing a bit less of them ???? as the point was made I guess I am lucky in that usually after a bit of thinking time and discussion with friends who can put forward an 'outside family' view my wife sees my point I see the subtle changes, my people skills also let me know who does not like it, but I am learning my happiness is important and being allowed to be comfortable in my own home is part of that, irrespective of 'family expectations' I also look around me people do not go into other peoples homes without specific invitation, they sit outside, a quaint Issan habit that respects privacy

It's a new thought provoker Now who could have given me that emoticon obviously somebody did ????

Timing of the responses

You might be onto something there ????

Well here's a thought, mature Thai women probably lived in the day where men had no idea how to care for children, indeed were probably given little opportunity to be involved Even young mothers were 'shut out' sent off to work as 'Yai' stacked the deck in her favour supported by family elders Seeing fathers with children is an increasing view, but their capabilities to care for children are undoubtedly brought into question, and underestimated, no surprise as they are mostly cast as providers

You are in the wrong country, I would suggest Thailand is the hub of taking care of someone else's children, the majority of the caring done by elderly Thai ????

Surprises me that more posters are not aware of the 'cultural' differences in every day behaviour Yes we are visitors here, yet it appears some of the actions mentioned by the op go 'unseen' by many I have no desire to befriend and show how good I am with children other than raise my own in a reasonable manner 2 minutes of 'entertaining' children not your own, is to me more of a 'look at me' situation But then I never sought any 'approval' for my behaviour and do not go through life on some sort of 'election' walk about

I helped a guy stack his straw bales, as he was on his own, another one had a delivery of bales as I was passing so helped out, another had a piĺck up load of heavy rice bags to put in his shed so as I was passing helped him put them in, lady was stuck in a rut with a motorsi and side car, got her going, neighbour asked if I could drive his spare truck to drag one home with a clutch problem Yes hand out oatcakes and Banana muffins occasionally Because it's just me Don't try to ingratiate myself, one farang bought bicycles for the village kids to go to school, gone now, never even met him, doubt he is remembered I don't think I can ever be a fully fledged member of the community I like being me

I would rather my wife disagree, have input, even if a little loud to get the point across, than receive an 'up to you' response A level of disagreement and discussion is healthy ???? The regular 'experienced posters' don't appear too knowledgeable about the real rural Issan, high volume is not unusual in conversation or music

My wife looks good to me and still sexy, with a big heart, after 16 years together Why would I care if she looks good to others ????

Interesting the way your explanation equates providing money is to love the children as opposed to Spending time, entertaining, creating memories, enjoying the company of a loved one, this appears somewhat secondary Grandma may be a lovely person but hardly a modern day role model for anything other than the subsistence life in the village Its a massive difference in cultures, and how does the poor Thai girl then show her love for her husband, in the farang relationship?

Understand your actions, I went through life with long term live in girlfriends but eventually my socialising meant moving on as they became disillusioned ???? Now I am happily married main reason being my wife gets my private pension, for putting up with me she deserves it, and more! Also means she can be there if necessary for our son as he makes his way through life if I am not So different circumstances require different solutions is all, it's working for me ???? perhaps also because my party days are a fond memory of my youth which I am sure my wife appreciates ????

One of the more expensive times to travel certainly from the UK

I am struggling to understand what the point of the thread is ???? My understanding of life is 'make the best of it' learn as you go enjoy Should that leave you with the rather easy to solve conundrum 'should I pay for sex or not' I would say continue the learning curve

Village farang bent double and his charming wife would take some beating for fitness quality ???? I have always been muscular and not flexible I think too late now ????

Or forget where the car is

I often wonder at those who see retirement as the best time of their lives, its good enjoyable, and one can still have wonderful times, but options are governed a little at least by age and conditions???? Which is why I would expect many of us had 'the best times' of our lives when we were younger, unless having fun was left a bit late ????

I agree, however a relaxed positive attitude may get him where he was originally heading, the bulk of advice on this thread could well land him where he possibly doesn't want to be 'Pattaya' being one popular suggestion ????

His wife and family are building a house which he is paying for, what's to get upset about, a bit of soot where there used to be a fence, not the end of the world He needs to step back, chill, not runaway, or make silly 'threats'

I have actually surprised myself with the amount of daily physical exercise I cope with on the farm, more inclined to do it as a hobby too Wife is 20+ years younger than me just hitting middle age spread but still attractive and sexy, which we both enjoy I thought this was the destiny of all of us who married younger Thai lovelies In mirror when I am tired I probably do look my age I'm afraid, when feeling good perhaps not so much Life is good ????

Rubbish, once the job is done there is no benefit to be 'seen' to be participating All these 'family' issues can be fixed with training, his wife knows this is not the right time, for which she is being heavily criticised on this thread What is the crux of the problem? The op and his wife cannot be there all the time! Hence my advice let them get on with it

There is a very easy solution, let them all get on with it ???? It is surprising how the job gets completed, wife will consult with the builders and maybe advise the BIL of the latest plan so he can oversee it Look at it this way, it's a house for your wife, let her build it, yes perhaps with suggestions from you, but don't be offended if they are not taken up ???? As for family close by, we have built two new ensuites separate from the older house, I have told my wife this is our immediate family only zone where we can relax away from everyone The older building has everything anybody could require, thus there is no need for people to be in our family area without invitation Thing is its kind of rubbing off across the board that while people are welcome to visit we have acceptable areas outside the home where they can sit and chat ???? the Thai way ???? As for the building, l am enjoying gradually fixing minor issues and doing work to take to completion in general things are ok

Obviously didn't live near a top quality local butcher, sure frozen supermarket stuff lacks quality

Some things never change, there will always be those calling for change ???? no need to get all worked up, some change will be good some change not so good