ballpoint

Or a pizza place in Pattaya last night.

I pulled in to the crowded car park at the local shopping center and slightly opened the car windows to make sure my new puppy had sufficient air. She was stretched full out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must stay there. I walked backwards to the kerb, pointing my finger and saying emphatically "Stay! Stay!" A bloke in a nearby car, gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put the handbrake on?"

I went down to the local supermarket today and I said: "I want to make a complaint - this vinegar's got lumps in it." The lady said: “Those are pickled onions".

Teacher: Use the word ‘intermittent’ in a sentence. Johnny: While I was camping it began to rain, so I ran intermittent.

If anyone has any ideas how to correct cosmetic surgery that has gone horribly wrong, I’m all ears.

I signed up for an assertiveness course. First week the teacher never turned up. Second week the teacher never turned up. Third week no teacher again, so I went to the office to complain. They said, "Congratulations, you've passed".

Bad choice of words, I should have said overseas account. The audit occurred in my second year of retirement, after working here for a number of years. I was aware of the "tax free if remitted in a different year" rule, and had sold some assets in Australia the previous year and remitted some of that money the year of the audit. Interest was paid, and 10% tax withheld on it, as is compulsory for non tax resident accounts there, prior to my final remittance that year. Now that money has dried up, I do use an offshore account for the seasoning, with enough pre 2024 savings to keep me going for a few years. They gave me the chance to answer their questions in an informal meeting with a tax officer in a room in the Bangkok Area 3 Revenue office and we went over my situation. I was pretty sure of my position, and prepared to engage a tax accountant if an appeal was needed, and had also taken advice from PWC, my old employer's tax agents prior to it, but she accepted my position. I suspect that, had I been unable to satisfactorily answer her questions, things would have got tougher and the thumbscrews brought out for a more formal one. Printed statements from pdf's sent from the Australian source bank and Thai receiving bank were all that were needed as supporting documents, I was also prepared to show them the online transactions if required. She also questioned every deposit made into my Thai account - luckily there were only a few others, apart from the remittances. After her claim that the interest payments made prior to remittance were assessable income that year, I pointed out that tax had been withheld, as documented on the statement. She accepted that, and said, since Australia has a DTA with Thailand, it was indeed non-assessable. To be honest, I was quite surprised at how simple that stage of the process was, when the rest was such a pain in the posterior. (As I've reported in other threads, their method of informing me about the audit requirement - by flagging my passport in the immigration system, and then leaving it to me to get the flag removed following the audit left a lot to be desired). As to the reason why I was audited? Basically, I went from paying a lot of income tax here annually to paying none at all, while remaining in the country. They were obviously able to get this information from the Immigration Bureau, along with my new passport number, as my old one expired shortly after I retired. The audit was called for by the Bangkok Area 3 Revenue Office, where my income tax returns were filed while working, despite my changing my TIN details at the local provincial office where I moved to immediately after retirement, and being told by them I had no need to file a return. When I heard about the audit requirement from immigration, I went to my provincial Revenue Office and they knew nothing about it. I then made a trip to the Bangkok Area 3 Office in Chidlom, and they knew nothing about it. Then I discovered another Bangkok Area 3 Revenue Office near the National Stadium and went there, to be told "yes, we've been expecting you, Mr Ballpoint". It would seem that the different offices don't communicate, but when one gets its teeth into you, it doesn't let go. As I said the first time I told this tale in another thread, this was a special case, and I suspect the vast majority of retirees here won't be audited by the TRD - though my local friendly immigration officer said there were a few other expats in the province with flagged passports awaiting audits. The reasons I reported it were to counter some claims made in various threads: The TRD will seek and receive information from the Immigration Bureau - they knew I hadn't left the country after retirement and was still a tax resident, and got my new passport details from them. The TRD will make it impossible for you to leave the country by flagging your passport until they are satisfied. (And even then, in my case, I had to make a trip to the Soi Suan Phlu immigration detention centre in Bangkok to get the flag removed after the TRD were satisfied). The TRD do audit foreign tax residents - again, my case was a special one, but none-the-less, they still did it. The TRD aren't only interested in overseas remittances, they are interested in any deposits made into your local bank account(s). Using a backdoor method to bring in money so it looks like a local transaction may well be fine, if you're not caught, but don't deposit it into your bank account here. With the new directive, I can well see each TRD office being given a target to look at a certain number of tax residents in their districts/areas. Just a simple chat like mine was. If you openly show them supporting documentation then I suspect, as in my case, they will be satisfied. If you're not so open - gaps in your statements, not disclosing a local bank account etc, then they might think you have something to hide.