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ballpoint

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Everything posted by ballpoint

  1. ballpoint
    I put up a high-voltage electric fence around my property over the weekend. My neighbour is dead against it.
  2. ballpoint
    I was at the races. A man asked "do you want the winner of the next race?" I said "no, I only have a small garden".
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    His dupes will keep on claiming that he isn't dead, up to the point where his hair makes a dash for freedom before he's screwed down into the coffin. Then they'll start worshipping that instead.
  14. ballpoint
    I just combined all of my watches into a belt. My wife says it’s a complete waist of time!
  15. ballpoint
    To the person who stole my antidepressants ... I hope you're happy now!
  16. ballpoint
    Harry 'The Hatchet' Bennett, the underworld's greatest receiver of stolen goods, was killed today. He fell off the back of a lorry.
  17. ballpoint
    This morning I saw an envelope on my doorstep that said: ‘Do Not Bend'. I stood there for ages trying to figure out how to pick it up.
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