ballpoint

My grandad followed a Jerry in WW1 trench warfare. Lost him when he turned off towards their cookhouse. Apparently, he took a turn for the wurst.

An aspiring young lawyer was sitting in his office late one night, when Satan appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer "I have a proposition for you…" "You can win every case you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, the souls of your parents, and grandparents, and the souls of all your friends and law partners." The lawyer ponders this for a moment, then finally asks: "So, what’s the catch?"

I had a leak in the roof over my dining room so I called a roofer to take a look at it. "When did you first notice the leak?" he asked. I told him, "Last night, when it took me four hours to finish my soup!"

My mate asked me: "Why do you keep an empty milk bottle in the fridge?" I said: "It's in case someone wants a black coffee".

I saw a load of German shepherds in uniform playing instruments at the shops this morning. It was the Alsatian Army.

Where can I buy that album? It looks like a goody.

Assuming the worst case scenario - If the entire 800,000 was remitted with no overseas taxes paid on it, and it was deemed to all be assessable income, then your allowances would play the biggest part. For myself, being under 65 and married (but on a retirement extension), and claiming the maximum THB 25,000 for my health insurance premium, my tax would be THB 50,750 in such a scenario. Not too great, but I would still be looking at ways of (legally) minimising it. (Spreadsheet from PWC, who used to file my taxes when employed here).

It's a sign of all that's wrong with the world when a chap goes out East without packing his Solar Topi and tropical jacket. Why, back in my day one wouldn't be allowed in the club for a stengah if not wearing them. Ought to be flogged, I say.

What's a guy like you doing in a joint like that?