-
Posts
7,277 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
16
Content Type
Events
Forums
Downloads
Quizzes
Gallery
Blogs
Everything posted by ballpoint
-
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
To try and keep up with this fast paced world, I bought a microwave fireplace. Now I can relax all night long, in just 8 minutes. -
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
I got a text from my boss. "Send me one of your funny jokes", it said. "I can't, I'm working" I texted back. He replied "that was fantastic, send me another". -
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
Just been offered a job as a Noise Pollution Officer... But I had to turn it down. -
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
A Tasmanian girl goes to the chemist and asks for a pack of condoms, "You won't need them. " said the pharmacist, "your dad came in and got a packet earlier." -
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
BBC cancels weather forecast broadcasts for the next 48 hours! As temperatures are below average for the time of year and significant rain fell in parts of the UK last night, normal service will be resumed when levels of hysteria can be raised once again. -
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
My tutor has accused me of plagiarism. Her words, not mine. -
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing her short skirt, and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. “I’d like some raisin bread please,” the man says. The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread located on the very top shelf. The man standing almost directly beneath her, is provided with an excellent view, just as he thought. When she descends the ladder, he decides that he had better get two loaves, as he is “having company for dinner.” As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what’s going on and requests his own loaf of raisin bread. After many trips, she is tired, irritated and begins to wonder “why the unusual interest in the raisin bread?” Atop the ladder one more time, she looks down and glares at the men standing below. Then, she notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd. Thinking that she can save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, Is it raisin for you too?” “No,” stammers the old man, “but it’s quivering a little.” -
POLITICS Trump says FBI raiding his Mar-a-Lago home
ballpoint replied to Scott's topic in World News
August 8th is becoming an unlucky day for presidential crooks. Nixon resigned August 8th 1974, Trump gets raided by the FBI August 8th 2022. They should declare it a public holiday. -
POLITICS Trump says FBI raiding his Mar-a-Lago home
ballpoint replied to Scott's topic in World News
Any time a crook is further exposed counts as a win to me. -
POLITICS Trump says FBI raiding his Mar-a-Lago home
ballpoint replied to Scott's topic in World News
Drain that swamp. I'll never get tired of all this winning. -
POLITICS Trump says FBI raiding his Mar-a-Lago home
ballpoint replied to Scott's topic in World News
That's just one trait of the far right. They try to project their own crimes onto the "lefties" (which they consider even moderate right wingers to be). Listening to their accusations is akin to listening to their confessions. -
POLITICS Trump says FBI raiding his Mar-a-Lago home
ballpoint replied to Scott's topic in World News
It speaks volumes that we don't know which ongoing investigation of the former president this warrant was issued for. -
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
-
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
-
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
-
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
-
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
-
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
-
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
-
For anyone interested, and having the time, this is an excellent article on the laying of the FLAG cable (Fibre-optic Link Around the Globe), a 28,000km long cable from the UK to Japan, laid in the 1990s. While not up to date, it's still entertaining, educational and relevant. It also includes a history of under-sea cables, which began with the Trans-Atlantic ones in the 19th century. There's even a section on Thailand, as it was one of two places where this cable crossed land - taking a short-cut to avoid having to go around Singapore. The article is by Neal Stephenson, who also happens to be one of my favourite novelists. Mother Earth Mother Board | WIRED "In which the hacker tourist ventures forth across the wide and wondrous meatspace of three continents, acquainting himself with the customs and dialects of the exotic Manhole Villagers of Thailand, the U-Turn Tunnelers of the Nile Delta, the Cable Nomads of Lan tao Island, the Slack Control Wizards of Chelmsford, the Subterranean Ex-Telegraphers of Cornwall, and other previously unknown and unchronicled folk; also, biographical sketches of the two long-dead Supreme Ninja Hacker Mage Lords of global telecommunications, and other material pertaining to the business and technology of Undersea Fiber-Optic Cables, as well as an account of the laying of the longest wire on Earth, which should not be without interest to the readers of WIRED."
-
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
Survival Tip Guys. If your woman grabs a knife, grab a jar of mayonnaise. Her feminine instincts will kick in and she will make you a sandwich. -
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
A retired man purchased a home near a secondary school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began. One afternoon early into the first term, three loud young boys came down his street, beating merrily on every bin they came across. They then did so every day, until finally the retired chap decided it was time to take some action. The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the boys as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favour? I'll give you each a pound if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing.” The boys were more than happy and continued to bang the bins every day on their walk home. After a few days, the old man walked out and greeted the kids again. However this time, he didn’t have a smile on his face. "This recession's really putting a big dent in my income." he told them. "I'm going to have to cut it down to 50p a day to keep you kids banging the bins.” The kids were obviously unimpressed but they accepted the reduction in payment and continued their afternoon activities. A few days later, the man approached them again. "Look," he said, "I haven't picked up my pension yet so I'm not going to be able to give you more than 20p to bang on the bins. Will that be okay?" "That's it!?" the 'drum leader' exclaimed. "If you think we're going to waste our time beating these around for 20p a day, you're nuts! No way, mister. We quit!" ....... And the man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days. -
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
I remember my mum used to say "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach". Lovely woman, terrible cardiac surgeon -
Worst Joke Ever 2025
ballpoint replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
I remember my dad always used to say "take everything with a pinch of salt" Lovely man, terrible at making a cup of tea.