OxfordWill

Please do not give the immigration officers any attitude or you will catch some trouble.

Follow ubonjoe's advice.

I'm sorry as a guy from a third world country, who goes to western countries never to return back without any paper or money and then leech of off on social welfare.

We are hypocrites....My country India is the worse, millions of Indians are living illegally in the west and no problemo and many have made a good life going to west even illegally...but when a western guy tries to do the same playing by rules even ...he is burdened with all sorts of visa rules

Thailand, Philippines, China, SEAsian countries love to leech of off on the west but don't extend the same privilege .....In my experience, sometimes we just gel with the place, our DNA just syncs with the place we were not born in....but unfortunately, western guys are not afforded the luxury..

Some guys from west....Just love Thailand...Rich or poor, they would just sync in with Asian countries, They feel their DNA coming to life again...many folks in Asian countries feel the same when they go to the west....Visa's have been a bane to humanity for 100s of years now.....Humanity must be allowed to travel and settle in where ever the F*k we want...

These government politics and bureaucracy is killing human soul slowly....People are really frustrated and on the edge living in their own shitty countries...They want to move out, explore and be free....Allow them please

This is ridiculous, new age, poppycock. Don't assert the suicide of the west as a righteous standard and that should be projected as some universal model because you "feel" your DNA's somehow connected to a place. You have no idea about your DNA- it's pure want. Grow up. The West's absurd, unbridled, lawless immigration destroys nations! At least Thailand is wise enough to not be agreeably led to the slaughter at the alter of new age "we are one" nonsense. Thailand is smart to preserve their national identify, as best they envision it, or implement it.

You sir, are not a hypocrite- people who do as you propose are criminals. Illegal is illegal, irrespective that you "feel;" utter rubbish! Find Mango Bob's Post; get a visa or go home. (I'm so sick of people asserting their "feeling" something constitutes an objective requirement that others participate in their drama and delusion. Follow the law. Your feeling stops at the place between us where the law exists).

petitio principii, I'm afraid.

Which makes your delusion far more worrying than any you might try to ascribe to him.

...l I usually stop and pretend that I am picking a stone up and this does the trick and they soon slink away...

This. Works every time for me.

What a neurotic lot you are!

Does the box lock from the inside or the outside?

Please define your standards of greatness.

Did she get rude and obnoxious with the officials? Thats actually illegal in the airport (1 year max jail term for insulting an immigration, customs or other "official" within the airport). And a general no no elsewhere in the country.

Thank you for sharing this video~!!

Well you've run the gamut quite successfully. I even spotted a thinly veiled death wish on behalf of one of your detractors!

I hope you will keep us updated on how your experience goes. Remember it'll be uniquely yours to experience and regardless of what this thread may presage could be fantastic or terrible- only one way to find out.

Those of us who are more familiar with your posts know how you meant your comments to be taken.

I wish you the best!

I tried it with my girlfriend for a few months. I found it unbearably boring, but I was not into much physical activity back then, which I think might have made a difference. If you're not active and going out to do things and perhaps social sports, you might find it too dull.

I was 25/26 at the time. Enjoyed the first month a lot. Ended up driving to Udon very frequently to find some life.

p.s. sounds like you might have married my ex! Just kidding..

After 12 years I can say hand on heart I've not had this problem. I wonder what's different in your situation? You must be putting out some kind of vibe, or be a lot older.

If she is as intelligent as you suggest, I strongly suspect she has the maturity to know that youre the real dad. I believe your feelings are based on the fear that she might somehow think less of you by his presence and you dont want to encourage that? Whichever way, she is a smart young woman and women are very good at connecting all parts of their life and people together without any one part detracting from the value of another. What I am saying is, you are viewing it from a male perspective and actually, I would be more concerned if the child was a son as he may have some real desire to connect/bond to an inappropriate character. However, I think your stepdaughter simply wants her Dad and her Father to both be there on her special day. I doubt it will change anything, but it might make her very happy to see that you can find a place however small, for her biological father in your thinking/considerations.

Furthermore unless there is a reason that it would harm her to have him there, such as he a violent drunk, she will not be impressed if you show your insecurities or feelings of uncomfort show over the issue and may end up thinking ever so slightly less of you if you block the request.

Unfortunately I think those numbers are conservative! I do wonder where it's all heading. Maybe another Thaksin style clampdown? We have started to see clips of psychosis on the news again- I saw one on Sukhumvit with a man and his wife behind a knife was reported last month. But I cant find the link now.

No babies on rooftops recently, thankfully.

Possibly society will regulate itself, the majority do not end up as fiends, even if they act like it for 2 years at some stage in their 20s. But the true cost isn't estimable yet and I think it could potentially be a social disaster.

Am I the only one genuinely disappointed that it is fiction?

I'm not a doctor but from personal experience my advice is: He needs to sleep and try to eat a little (thai rice soup, maybe a sachet of royal D from 7/11).

If you have xanax and he is safe (no allergy or whatever) to take it, and he's calm to accept drinks, you should mix half a xanax after he wakes up (as soon after as possible). Usually the first cycle of sleep will not be enough because the brain will still be going long after the xanax tricks it into sleeping.

As other posters have mentioned, the absolute best thing he can do is sleep, but he needs someone there to help him through the next bit when he has slept. Some people will sleep for days, some just hours- it all depends on the individual and the circumstances.

If your friend is a user who only uses with alcohol, then the priority is to keep him away from alcohol later.

If he uses "sober" then it's a little harder for you to help, and ultimately, either way, only he can change and this might involve something much worse happening first. Unfortunately, in my experience, serious paranoia is not usually seen as a symptom. It's very much real, very few users recognise it for what it is.

This is why sleep is so important, because thats the only way to get around it and level him off enough to even think of doing anything else. Those ladyboys should have taught him this at least. I dont know how he reacts to the suggestion that he is using too much and needs to stop, but if he doesnt like hearing that, you can get him on side by telling him how to improve his experience - if he finds a hookup for xanax (probably the same person who gives him the ice will have it) and decides to use it when he starts feeling at all weird, or at a set time, he will be up and ready to go again without feeling uncomfortable. Obviously, you can then speak to him before his next session, or, arrange for a family member to speak to him, and he may be more receptive to it.

If he's manic or even restless and uncomfortable, you can try to get him to do something repetitive that he usually enjoys- for example, playing one of those iphone games, or looking at pornography on the computer, or clicking away at a computer game, or playing cars, or making things with lego/whatever.

The tricky bit is to get the attention onto the activity to begin with, but once you get him there (it may take several false starts to find out what will work for him) he likely will just repeat it until he levels out a bit. But for some users this factor isn't relevant, so there's no catch-all that is not medicinal.

All of this once he has had some sleep- even just the minimum from a little sleeping pill will help immensely.

I dont want to worry you but things are quite likely going to get much worse and you will be in danger so decide first how much you care about your friend. People get paranoid in different ways to begin with but it usually only ends up one of three dead-ends all of which are violent.

In my position if I had a casual friend who was behaving like this I would not get involved, but I have seen some pretty awful stuff. He's lucky that you care.

Maybe someone from Norway can inform the Embassy. If he is disabled mentally there ought to be some help forthcoming?

Absolutely spot on post. I would concede it may be possible but then it's also possible to win the lottery on 3 consecutive months. Even then you're probably just a farang novelty who they take the piss out of behind your back. To consider someone a friend where you can't speak each others language is ridiculous. Then there's those who try to kid everybody they only came for the temples and the culture. You've seen the type , those going around with a wai for everybody looking like a complete prat. They tend to reckon they've got loads of Thai mates.

Just because they play golf or take you out on the piss doesn't mean they're friends. No matter the class or level of education all Thais consider a farang a sex tourist , which of course we all are or we're before we met darling.

Simple fact is Thai men don't like farangs unless there's something in it for them but some farangs are too stupid to see through the falseness.

Through business over a decade I've met about 10,000 Thai men. I'd say 5% don't like Farang because they are Farang. My feelings are in stark contrast to your feelings. How many Thai men do you base your suppositions on? You must have lived here for a long time and met a lot of Thai males but I'm wondering how long and how many?

I've been here 12 years. I don't honestly know how many Thai men i've met but certainly not as many as your average of 3 a day. I'm quite well travelled and a very easy going type of person whose never had any problems making friends wherever i've been or lived. In Thailand it's different for some reason. My experience here of Thai men is not good. Most i've met seem to have a fixation on money or how they can get their hands on mine. In fact the whole country has a fixation on money , the system is rotten to the core where most of the indigenous people think corruption it's acceptable so long as they're getting their cut somewhere along the line. Everybodys perception is aquired through experience. I find Thais the most racist people i've ever met where openly calling the black guy " chocolate man " is the norm. They're obsessed with skin color , the more white the better. I had to laugh the other day , the women now have pussy whitening cream. Do you think this obsession is normal ? If you reckon only 5% of Thai men don't like farangs maybe your business is a mamma / pappa shop in the village and don't see the ulterior motive behind those fake smiles.

I'll wager Thailand is the most different place that you personally have lived and that accounts for your problem. Thailand is like another planet, its simultaneously always maintained its independence and has no real interest in the world outside it in the same way some other "independent" nations might. Your own country is full of just as many illogical obsessions, you just aren't aware of them. You say everyone basis their perception on experience but I'd say you can do a lot to bolster your experience by reading the experiences of others or, dare I say it, those whose professional occupation is to as objectively as possible compare and contrast different places and identify what "rules" govern each place/people. If you just did a minimal amount of effort in this vein your experience here would be different for the better. You have far more control over your experiences than you wish to admit but you are too lazy and judgment comes too easily to the lazy; such as how I am judging you now without even bothering to get to know you.

The one thing that has been forgotten in this chest beating between the young guys sneering derisively at older men who have younger girls and the older guys justifying their choice is this: Age is just a number. Once a person reaches the age of maturity the age difference should really not matter An adult is an adult. So if a 25 year old chooses (for whatever reason) to be with a 55 year old is it not, as the Thais love to say, up to her?

And the stereotypes that have been bandied about by a lot of posters are just that: stereotypes. A case in point. I posted earlier that I was having dinner with a 23 year old last night. I had already turned her down on the grounds of age (me making assumption about a number). I expected a nice dinner and that would be it. How wrong I was! She has a law degree, runs every morning, loves hiking, reading and classical music and can talk about many subjects intelligently. Her level of maturity made me forget her age totally and I enjoyed her company immensely. Now I want to see her again and, amazingly, she wants to see me. She earns good money from her business so is independent. So why is she even contemplating dating a guy twice her age? Possibly because we have several interests in common?

The cynics will say she is playing the long game. I don't know and I don't care. I will see where this goes. Who knows, you Bangkok hearthrobs with youth and money may see me one day with her. Free free to snigger at the deluded old fool and his prostitute wife.

Remember: Youth is wasted on the young

I'm not taking a side here because I don't believe it's that straightforward, but you are mixing a lot of issues together here. You're not the only one. We've got about 5 arguments going on but the proponent of argumentA is arguing with the opposition to argumentB and so on.

What is universal however, throughout this thread and indeed in general in any discussion between any two or more westerners in Thailand, is the fact that we are all in some way or other very insecure about what we and our fellow falang are doing in Thailand.

Not sure if this counts?

There is a big difference. Thailand is not too far away from becoming a highly developed country, which it hasn't been over the past 500 years. It will take a couple more decades for sure, but i will see it since i am only 26.

A 'highly developed" country, that has invented nothing technologically, medically, humanely, with without stable government, no freedom of press and speech and terrible human rights score.

Sorry which part is highly developed?

Those things are not directly relevant to the definition of developed. You're making stuff up as you go along.

My take:

1. She cares for you but her primary focus is a house and staying in Thailand. (and is the subject of some financial support for her and presumably her family relevant in her case?)

2. Her ideal situation would be that you provide this, but do not live with her and that you find some other girl for the day to day "wife" activities. She is letting you know that she is available to be your mistress and would prefer that arrangement.

By the way, this would be easy to misunderstand as cunning, devious, ill-intentioned or etc. But it definitely is not necessarily like that. Culturally speaking, this woman can say or mean these things (if we assume I am correct about what I think she wants, which may not be true!) and still be genuinely affectionate for you ("love" even, but I think its a more mature kind of love) and have good intentions to look after you in a way and be responsible- just not in this case perhaps as the full time wife.

p.s. I dont know how well traveled she is but the thought of leaving Thailand at 40 for the average Thai would be incredibly difficult for most.

Oh my, how ostentatious can one be. And on an anonymous forum, no less. So your requirement of your so-called "friends" is that they must live a jet-set lifestyle (while you're exempted, of course). I can tell you why you don't have any male Thai friends. They find you uninteresting, boring, and pretentious beyond belief.

This is probably my problem too. I sometimes see that I am recreating the role of Cliff on the American TV series Cheers. The know-it-all and I've always had more women friends than men friends.

I did have two male Thai friends who are brothers. As I was building my boat I happened across them building a boat too. As luck would have it their English was passable and we got on well talking boats and fishing. Then when the boats were finished we'd frequently fish together on theirs or mine. 4 years on the elder brother borrowed 20,00 baht of my money from my gf. I would have turned him down because I knew it was not coming back and I don't need to buy my friends. What she did is another story for another time. I let this ride for 2 years until he sold his boat. My money put his boat back to condition to sell. He sold it for 150,000 baht and was so happy. I waited for him to offer the 20,000 back and when he did not I told him I wanted it. He went away like he was embarrassed but invited me to a party at his house a few days later. I asked the brother at the party what's the occasion? Selling the boat? No, he won 120,000 in the lottery. My money was never repaid and neither of them speak to me any more. Where's the friendship?

Classic mistake- all you had to do was ask to borrow 20 000 baht and it would likely have been returned. By not engaging in this very Thai mutual delusion (you must always allow the other party to be "doing something for you"- fostering grenjai) you broke a social taboo and as such the awkwardness resulted in the misunderstanding, and ultimate destruction of your relationship. Don't get tempted to judge it by non-thai norms.

Now why was it that judges here are sometimes intimidated?

Maybe a good look into the mirror is in order??

My entire live I have never heard of a judge being threatened or intimidated in the country where I come from! That is because people respect the law - and nobody is above the law!

If a court thinks that it is responsible to people who are "above the law" who tell them which way certain judgments have to go - then they don't need protection but they need to be fired and replaced!

Until the country has a truly independent judiciary with judges who have the guts to stand up and have the people who try to interfere with their work arrested and thrown in jail - no matter who they are nothing will change!

Why would anybody respect somebody who tries to claim high moral ground but is just as corrupt as anybody else in this country?

You have the privilege to have been born where you were born and at the time you were born. If you had been born a century or several earlier, intimidation of judiciary, and a plethora of other "teething" problems in your fledgling civilization would have been a very real part of your life.

What, I ask you, is the point of posting what you posted? "Look at me, look at me, I can take the moral highground because I was fortunate enough to have been born into a civilized country". Then to imply that judges lack "guts"? I challenge you to be brave enough to do their job for one single week! I'm afraid to report that your being from such a civilized nation has apparently done nothing for your character. Thais and their country are going through some serious problems- but to take your judgmental viewpoint and not recognise the 'bigger picture' of reform and revolution that is being attempted, albeit in a very Thai manner, to me is disgraceful from one who ought by his own admission to know better about such things.

One does not overturn centuries of practice and systems in a single day and nor is it written in stone that Thailand must evolve in exactly the same way as any other country. There are multiple ways to run a civilization and while I would not say any one country has got it right yet, I would similarly not judge any one country by comparison to anything other than itself. By what right would we do otherwise? Certainly not any moral right.

In some legal territories the legal age limit is reduced when accompanied by adults.

For another example, in the UK during my youth, if I recall correctly at some stage I could be served alcohol with a meal before I was legally allowed to purchase alcohol on its own.

Ive read a study on this previously, I believe that academically countries are categorised primarily as "prohibition" or "non-prohibition" territories when it comes to cultural attitudes to alcohol. Based on those reacting angrily to the OP I think we can safely assume they are from "prohibition" countries which have histories that involved restrictions on alcohol or religious overtones to consumption. Maybe the word I am looking for is not prohibition, but something similar. Possible "ambivalent" vs. "non-ambivalent" drinking cultures.

Going a bit off topic here but this fascinates me- its also been shown that a cultures attitudes to the effects of alcohol directly effect the behaviour of people from those cultures when they consume alcohol- and often these are wildly different beliefs. The actual physiological effect of alcohol consumption seldom if ever is actually responsible for the behaviour of the individual when they consume alcohol. For example, British people tend to believe that alcohol is a disinhibitor- and that it leads to aggressive behaviour- both of which happen regularly across the country every weekend. But in other countries it can be quite different. Anthropologist Kate Fox wrote a very easily accessible "ethnography" of sorts on the English which has a chapter on this topic:

http://books.google.co.th/books?id=tNZfLeHSFvQC&lpg=PT523&ots=FXP7CAJjOu&dq=watching%20the%20english%20kate%20fox%20cultural%20attitudes%20to%20alcohol&pg=PT523#v=onepage&q=watching%20the%20english%20kate%20fox%20cultural%20attitudes%20to%20alcohol&f=false