Is Grandma the boss? She is asking for marriage ceremony with Sin Sod... while the parents don't really care but have to obey Grandma?

[Crossy]

13 minutes ago, alexlm said:

This is not my article. It's not me. when you click on the link it leads to a shitty Thai room. And the Thread is not mine.

Are you saying that you are not alexlm?

 

[alexlm]

3 minutes ago, Crossy said:

Are you saying that you are not alexlm?

 

I'm saying what I'm saying, word for word, and it's not the equivalent of what you just wrote.

[Crossy]

11 minutes ago, alexlm said:

I'm saying what I'm saying, word for word, and it's not the equivalent of what you just wrote.

So the post that was linked to is yours then? The thread isn't.

 

I'm just a little confused that you are getting out of joint over someone quoting a post that you made a couple of years back.

 

 

[Rc2702]

3 hours ago, Get Real said:

 

Are you for real, boy? I just can´t call you man because you do live of, and olso think it´s ok, your mother. How old are you? 15?
If you choose to travel to another country and live there. After that marry a woman in that country. Then I guess you have to be the boy that grows up to bee a man and take care of himself and his wife.

If you need more highlighting, just honk the horn. Unbelieveble! 
 

How do you know he is not a carer for his mother? 

[bazza73]

1 hour ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

This is incorrect... Sin Sod is a custom throughout Thailand and thoughout the socio-economic spectrum. Sometimes its returned, sometimes it isn't.

It may not be so common if the lady in question was previously married, otherwise its universally paid as part of the marriage formalities. 

 

With regards to the specific issue at hand - it would appear that the Grandmother is attempting to use her influence as the family senior to pull a fast one. 

 

The village gossips are just that, but they can make life a little embarrassing for the folks. Perhaps a small wedding party wouldn't hurt with a small amount of Sin-Sod for 'show' which can be returned to the Op - of course, this is all down to his negotiation skills with the parents. Or, if he simply doesn't care then there is no reason to entertain such options.

 

 

You raise some interesting points; however, we are discussing a falang-Thai relationship, not Thai-Thai. I doubt the majority of falangs have forked out sin sod. I certainly would not.

I agree Granny is trying it on.

I know my Thai GF gets a fair amount of jealous gossip in the village. Personally, I don't give a flying <deleted> about whatever they say. Their problem, not mine.

[jackdd]

2 minutes ago, bazza73 said:

You raise some interesting points; however, we are discussing a falang-Thai relationship, not Thai-Thai. I doubt the majority of falangs have forked out sin sod. I certainly would not.

I agree Granny is trying it on.

But many of the Thai girls getting married with a foreigner have been married before, many even have children already. In this case people don't expect the husband to pay sinsod (some foreigner still pay for whatever reason).

So one would have to look at the Thai/foreigner marriages where the girl was not married before and doesn't have children, but this seem to be only a few.

I'm not sure how my girlfriend (never married, no children, works for government) would react if i play hardball like "we get married without me paying sinsod or it's over" but when just talking about marrying she is saying that she would not marry me if i not pay sinsod to her family.

[cyberfarang]

2 hours ago, alexlm said:

I would feel more stupid to live like shit in an expensive country while I can live better here. 14k THB in my home country won't even pay a shitty room.

Not quite correct, because you are using your Thai wife to subsidise your lifestyle and help you remain in Thailand as being married to a Thai spouse.

 

I think grandma-ma has twigged on that her granddaughter is getting a raw deal. What you should be aware of in Thailand is that families have a great deal of influence here and although not psychic I can foresee they are going to put more pressure on you to prove your worth as to whether you`re an asset to the family or a burden.

[chrissables]

18 hours ago, steven100 said:

so let me get this correct .... 

you haven't contributed one cent to the relationship   ?

you haven't helped the family one bit ... no house ... no car ... no nothing  ?

and now grandma want's something to help the family as you are taking their child away.

hmmmm .....  If I was grandma,  I would insist the daughter have nothing to do with you. 

When in your home country did you buy a house for your mother in law, or a car?

 

There's taking care and taking the pizz.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

15 hours ago, alexlm said:

I have to honk the horn because I don't understand how does your content help any reader coming on this thread...

I'm curious about others people Family but you keep talking about mine?

I don't care to be a man as you say.

I'm married. Busy. Happy. What are all those things that you and a bunch of people talk about?

You are a man? Well congratulation that's awesome. How old are you? Do you feel good to talk bad about others people? Judging me about "is it ok to get money from my Mother while I wait to get money from my country". Etc.

 

Well, to be honest.....If you were happy you wouldn't be posting questions about sonsod. You also complained about your wife not working and your family paying for her.

 

So, there are already issues that will only get worse with time.

 

 

[IAMHERE]

How old is grandmom? Maybe life events will take care of this for you. In the mean time you could tell grandmom all your sin-sod money went to buy the schengen to France.

[4evermaat]

13 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

Not quite correct, because you are using your Thai wife to subsidise your lifestyle and help you remain in Thailand as being married to a Thai spouse.

 

I think grandma-ma has twigged on that her granddaughter is getting a raw deal. What you should be aware of in Thailand is that families have a great deal of influence here and although not psychic I can foresee they are going to put more pressure on you to prove your worth as to whether you`re an asset to the family or a burden.

 

Hmmm.  So what do you think the wife/grandma/family is NOT getting? 

What do you think it would take to make wife/wife's family whole again?

[Cranky]

Thanks for the Sin, now Sod off.

[alexlm]

9 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

Well, to be honest.....If you were happy you wouldn't be posting questions about sonsod. You also complained about your wife not working and your family paying for her.

 

So, there are already issues that will only get worse with time.

 

 

I'm not asking questions about SIn Sod. I KNOW that I'll never pay. I'm asking people' Families and the Grandmothers.

I never complained about anything. You are making all that up.

You are talking about issues? Which ones?

You are telling my Wife doesn't work? Where the hell are you finding all this information??

You should write books or something, you have a lot of imagination... lol...

 

[theguyfromanotherforum]

51 minutes ago, alexlm said:

I'm not asking questions about SIn Sod. I KNOW that I'll never pay. I'm asking people' Families and the Grandmothers.

I never complained about anything. You are making all that up.

You are talking about issues? Which ones?

You are telling my Wife doesn't work? Where the hell are you finding all this information??

You should write books or something, you have a lot of imagination... lol...

 

 

Well, you are either a troll who can't remember what he posted or you are very confused.

 

 

[maxpower]

2 hours ago, alexlm said:

I'm not asking questions about SIn Sod. I KNOW that I'll never pay. I'm asking people' Families and the Grandmothers.

I never complained about anything. You are making all that up.

You are talking about issues? Which ones?

You are telling my Wife doesn't work? Where the hell are you finding all this information??

You should write books or something, you have a lot of imagination... lol...

 

I can see you are asking how much weight and influence Grandma carries and looking for answers from those in similar situations.

 

Example - "I sure as hell ain't  paying this Sin Sod crap but would like to know how much shit Grandma can kick up when she hears I am not paying up"

Even though your title and post carry question marks, you must make absolutely sure your post is dumb ass proof or it will end with you getting raped.

[Cranky]

Glad it's a slow Monday with nought to do, looks like rain so golf's off, so had time to read this drivel. 

 

Strikes me Alex could be the poster boy for a Cheap Charlie awareness campaign.  Maybe Mummy can pay Granny.

 

Call it what you like, as far as I'm concerned it's reasonable to help out the wife's family if they happen to be not quite so fortunate as us.  Seeing my in-laws living in a tin shed surrounded by cow-shit didn't sit right somehow, taking my daughter there, seeing it and have her asking why they live like that just wasn't an option.

 

Man up poster boy, get a haircut and get a real job.

[Rc2702]

The sin sod is too much of a loose term anyway.

 

Sin sod pay

Sin sod show

 

If it's a gesture of show and you get the cash back it's more understandible and you are not paying.

 

If it's to pay off the family who in a lot of cases waste the cash. It's a nightmare.

 

 

 

 

[GOLDBUGGY]

Yes!

 

Grandma is the Boss of that Family.

 

Unless her Father is still around someplace.

[GOLDBUGGY]

You get 14 k Baht from your Mother, and don't work for at least 2 years? How Old are you anyway? About 16 years old I would guess.

 

Maybe Old Grandma is just wise, and doesn't want her Granddaughter to marry some Bum? Who at a young age refuses to work and just wants to live off everyone else?

 

Believe me my friend. There is plenty of young male Thais like that here already. They don't need another one.   

[Rc2702]

59 minutes ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

You get 14 k Baht from your Mother, and don't work for at least 2 years? How Old are you anyway? About 16 years old I would guess.

 

Maybe Old Grandma is just wise, and doesn't want her Granddaughter to marry some Bum? Who at a young age refuses to work and just wants to live off everyone else?

 

Believe me my friend. There is plenty of young male Thais like that here already. They don't need another one.   

He could get a job as a mangdar for all the pensioners wives.

[alexlm]

7 hours ago, GOLDBUGGY said:

You get 14 k Baht from your Mother, and don't work for at least 2 years? How Old are you anyway? About 16 years old I would guess.

 

Maybe Old Grandma is just wise, and doesn't want her Granddaughter to marry some Bum? Who at a young age refuses to work and just wants to live off everyone else?

 

Believe me my friend. There is plenty of young male Thais like that here already. They don't need another one.   

It's not because you had to work when you were young that everyone should

[wildewillie89]

Just spread a small rumour around the village about a sin sord amount. We just had a Christian ceremony (I am an atheist), to purely avoid any need or time to have the sin sord ceremony. The family just whispered a figure to the most inclined to gossip and before you knew it everyone was of the opinion I paid sin sord. When in actual fact the family paid for half the wedding themselves. 

The Grandma is well respected, and is one of the hardest working women I know. But in my community it seems social class trumps family hierarchy. So as the in-laws and Mrs have good jobs and the grandmother is a farmer, what they say trumps what she says. She is a fantastic woman though, I have never given her anything and she would never ask or accept anything, even though she will come and work hard on our land sometimes all she wants is a cool drink. The money she makes from farming (will refuse to live in 'comfortable' housing), she buries to save for family emergencies. 

Edited October 10, 2017 by wildewillie89