When Ordering Food.

[DragonQuest]

Hello, I have been living in thailand for well over one year, but has anyone notice that when they go out and get food with someone the other person doesnt eat?(I KNOW THAI PEOPE ARE SKINNY AND DONT EAT MUCH ANYWAYS OR SMALL PORTIONS like 5 times a day, or totally skip breakfast and dont realize its the most important meal of the day!) I mean i think its stupid for a person to order if they are not hungry, can they think on there own? do they have any education or is it just me?

[Jingthing]

Politeness? Its not polite to sit at a restaurant and not order some food. Just a guess.

[Mid]

eyes bigger than stomach , according to g/f

[DragonQuest]

ok thx for the info, western values are different then thai values I still have alot to learn i guess lol

[realthaideal]

No idea what you're talking about Dragon. Do you mean the host orders lots of food for everyone to eat (family style) and then doesn't partake along with everybody else ? Or do you mean everyone orders individual dishes and you notice that they don't touch their individual dishes ?

I never see this. I think Thais are eaters. Maybe you're just dining with odd folks.

Or maybe your attitude that they can't even think makes them lose their appetites.

Or maybe they are being polite and ordering food along with you in a place they know is 'mai alloy' for Thai people, but that a Farang will enjoy. Then the food comes and despite wanting to eat, they can't stomach the idea of eating food that tastes bad to them.

[ProThaiExpat]

Years ago experienced and observed this occur with sex workers when trick was paying for the meal. Ordered much more than could eat but "face" was thought to be greatly increased as their "value" was measured by the quantity of food they were allowed to order, not eat.

[vegas]

Maybe you associate with anorexics. I eat with my staff every week, Thai friends etc and they all eat, usually more than me. One or two occasionally nibble, but they all eat. Never heard of what you're talking about.

[DragonQuest]

i guess there is many different scenarios and situations, thx for all the input guys, Im sure im not the only one out there that has expierienced this though lol

[realthaideal]

"I’m sure I’m not the only one out there that has experienced this though"

Ok. I thought it through some more, and actually I have seen this but not for a long time. It usually does happen when you are out with a girl on a date. In my old carousing days with girls from here n there, what I began to see was that the girl was being polite, and even excited by the notion of eating at a 'nice' place. But ! The food in fancy Farang restaurants, be it Western food they don't know, or dressed up Thai food without all the herbs and plaa raa and kapi they are used to eating, it just doesn't get them excited. Sad but true. You are enjoying your meal and they are fantasizing about the stinkiest, black-with-field-crabs, and plaa raa som tam they can order for 20 baht from the Isaan lady on the corner near their apartment building.

This is not just for bar girls, though it holds pretty true for them. Many Thais are pretty Region-centric as well, and prefer food that tastes like where they grew up. Isaan girls like it Isaan style, and Hat Yai girls like it Southern style. What we think is delicious can be totally wrong to them if it is made for us with sugar, or toned down ingredients. Most Isaan folks will say under their breath, or after leaving the restaurant that it was 'mai alloy.' What they really want is something 'Saep,' which would be a rarity for any Farang restaurant.

As an aside, she's also likely thinking "Oh my Buddha!" about how you ordered a curry for 300B, and a side of rice for 60B, when she knows where to buy the 'same thing' for about 40B out on the street. Bad food and throwing money at somebody who makes a poor version of food is a total turnoff for them....though they try to be polite.

Try this out next time you want to treat a girl - tell her to pick the place - fancy or not. Even if you think you know where to eat, you probably don't. It's really up to her to know where is good. You taking her to a place for Thai food is almost the same as us asking her to pick a Mexican or Italian restaurant for us. Believe me, when I'm at The Pizza Co. by unfortunate circumstances where the Thais arrange it for me, I'm just like these Thai girls who don't eat. It's the worst Sh*#t on shingle of bread I ever tasted. And no I don't think it's better with squid, ketchup, and oregano on it either. Mai alloy tisut ! And I know where that 400 B could have better been spent on real Italian food, thank you.

So there's my take on it. They will eat, but you've got to have the food they feel comfortable with in a place they approve of.

One more tip besides letting her choose the venue, is to try a Thai- style seafood place. There is alot of middle ground where Thai seafood can please a Farang and a Thai without doing a disservice to the actual food.

[LivinLOS]

Years ago experienced and observed this occur with sex workers when trick was paying for the meal. Ordered much more than could eat but "face" was thought to be greatly increased as their "value" was measured by the quantity of food they were allowed to order, not eat.

Your also presuming they dont come back the next day for commision

[Jingthing]

Years ago experienced and observed this occur with sex workers when trick was paying for the meal. Ordered much more than could eat but "face" was thought to be greatly increased as their "value" was measured by the quantity of food they were allowed to order, not eat.

Your also presuming they dont come back the next day for commision

Thats a good point. A restaurant owner once told me that he does indeed pay some juice to rope em in.

[Briggsy]

I have experienced a couple of situations.

Slimmers not eating the rice to keep down their carbohydrate intake.

The "honoured guest" routine in which sometimes obscene amounts of food are ordered and then loaded on to the honoured guests plate. Large amounts of food are left uneaten. In my job, I encounter this not infrequently. An interesting observation I have made is the amount of overordering is inversely proportionate to the level of ease the Thai host feels at dining with a farang.

[jts-khorat]

I have seen this a number of times, and also within groups of Thais; when there are several people sitting at the table, it can be difficult to assess how much will really be eaten. In such instances, no ill-will was there while ordering.

Difference with Thai-only groups is (at least in the poorer regions), if there are leftovers, they will later be packed in for consumption at home, not to be wasted. If you are going out with Thais that do not know you that well, they might think it a loss of face doing that in front of you.

A different situation might be if you are out on a date and the other person grossly over-orders to show off to everybody around how rich 'she' is. From the OPs post, I am assuming this is what has happened.

This is taking the piss -- especially if you are nmot out in a group but only 2 people -- and I have had no problems later sharing the bill as we are such good friends and we should be able not only to share the enjoyment of the meal but also the commitment to its financial value. I can be a stingy ass sometimes :-)

As soon as it became their problem, over-ordering #never# happened again...

Edited January 20, 2007 by jts-khorat

[brahmburgers]

When going out on a first date with a Thai lady, it's expected that she will order a bunch of dishes (speaking Thai to the Thai waiter, so you don't follow what's being said) and will eat barely anything. By not eating, she's showing you how feminine she is. By ordering 11 dishes, she's showing you the grand variety of Thai food. No matter that you only ordered one dish - and that's what you'll mainly ear. No matter that most of the things she ordered are borderline inedible, either by being too cayene ridden or simply non-food altogether. An no matter that all that food is wasted. And the most certain part of the whole scenario is that you'll get stuck paying for all of it. oh, and there are rarely 'doggie bags' - but who would want to take the stuff home anyway?

A similar thing happens even when I've taken first dates to farang places. Even though they order just one two or 3 dishes, invariably they eat just a tiny portion of it. It's a turn off for me.

[Donz]

Thats weird, I know tones of Thais in Sydney and they eat like machines.

One girl especially is skinny but she can outeat any of us, I remember her eating a whole large pizza 500 grams of chicken fried up and 4 cornettos. She is also very attractive and she has a few times turned guys off by how much she eats.

After a session at the pub she always needs to eat.

But I dont know any issan Thai's, I only know the middle to upper class. So maybe thats the difference.

Thais in my view will eat until there is nothing infront of them.

[meadish_sweetball]

I've seen lots of different behaviours.

One observation is that middle class and upper middle class people are more accustomed to eating in restaurants, and so will keep the ordering at a reasonable level. People who generally do not eat out at restaurants can be of the type who order a mountain of dishes. Why I am not sure, my assumption is that it has to do with face, for once being able to feel like you have money, two, that it is interesting to see lots of different dishes, and three, that they are simply not so used to the situation and cannot calculate properly how much is really needed.

When treated by a puu yai host, in my experience it is customary that the host encourages each guest to order something, as this shows his hospitality and good will towards you. As a guest, you are supposed to not be a hog by ordering too much, but do order something and try to order with a view to the other things that have been ordered, so the meal has a bit of everything. Also, when eating, try to restrict yourself not to eat too much. Take one or at most two spoons/pieces at a time, and not too frequently. The meal is a social event and the social dynamics are more important than getting full as quickly as possible.

Obviously in an all-Thai setting the dishes are communal, arrive as they are finished, and you don't have a monopoly on the dishes you have ordered.

When people eat with their close friends, everything is much more relaxed. Table manners and polite fuzzing are pretty much thrown aside and joking fights for pieces of food are rather common. If you are hungry it wont be a big deal if you tuck in bigtime. Do expect people to joke about it, though.

It's a big country and I am sure some people will have different experiences to mine.

[DragonQuest]

thank you swedish meatball now thats what im talking about baby, oops meadish sweetball hehehehe:)

[britmaveric]

Thai(s) not eat? Never seen this not happen - as for finishing, well thats another story.