Verbal abuse rife as one-third of families live with some form of domestic violence

By THE NATION

 

File photo

 

HURFTUL WORDS are among the root causes of domestic violence, with a survey revealing that some form of abuse exists in one in three families in Thailand.

Social Development and Human Security Minister Pol General Adul Saengsingkaew said yesterday that people hated hearing unkind words from family members. 

 

The most-harmful words and phrases cited in the survey in descending order were: “Die”, “Bastard”, “You should never have been born”, “You’re the problem”, “You are not as good as other children”, “You are irritating”, “You are a curse”, “Don’t even try” and “The child is rotten like the parents”. 

 

“Up to 20.4 per cent of respondents say they do not want to hear the word ‘die’ from their family,” Adul said at a press conference held to campaign against violence against women. 

 

 

Domestic violence occurs partly because family members do not communicate properly, he said, while poor word choices hurt the family and the mental and physical health of its members. 

 

“It is necessary that family members communicate constructively and treat one another with respect,” Adul said. 

 

He said polite words could improve family ties and the behaviour of family members. 

 

According to the same survey, people want to hear family members asking if they are tired. They also want to hear “I love you”, “Is there anything I can do to help?”, “It’s okay”, “Chin up”, “You can do it” and “Miss you”. 

 

People also want to hear “Thank you”, “I am sorry” and any form of sincere compliment.

 

Professor Dr Ronnachai Kongsakon, who heads the Domestic Violence Knowledge Management Centre at Mahidol University’s Faculty of Medicine Ramathibodi Hospital, said some children had committed suicide after being told by their mothers to die. 

 

“Fighting in families also often arises after husbands contemptuously call their wives fat,” he said. 

 

Conducted among 2,280 families from across Thailand between October 2015 and January 2016, a survey found 34.6 per cent of respondents lived with some form of domestic violence. 

 

Of those reporting domestic violence, 32.3 per cent said the violence was psychological, while 9.9 per cent said it was physical abuse. And 4.5 per cent answered “sexual violence”. 

 

The region with most recorded domestic-violence cases was the South, while Bangkok had the fewest, according to the survey.

 

Adul and Ronnachai spoke yesterday at a press conference to mark International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, which falls on November 25.

 

In Thailand, November is the designated to campaign against violence harming both women and children.

 

Source: http://www.nationmultimedia.com/detail/national/30331808

 

-- © Copyright The Nation 2017-11-17

Odd they left out booze as a contributing factor...

17 minutes ago, Emster23 said:

Odd they left out booze as a contributing factor...

Or being a Thai male.

What´s really odd is that more than half of the things they show as phrases for saying, is just very mild things.
There are far more bad things to say to a person or about others.
However, I guess it´s a little bit after in that area too.

4 hours ago, webfact said:

The most-harmful words and phrases cited in the survey in descending order were: “Die”, “Bastard”, “You should never have been born”, “You’re the problem”, “You are not as good as other children”, “You are irritating”, “You are a curse”, “Don’t even try” and “The child is rotten like the parents”.

These are supposed to be the worst words and phrases used in dysfunctional families? That's a joke, right? Perhaps those xxxxxxx at The Nation have edited out the truly abhorrent phrases frequently slung around in this country because they're considered unfit to print... 

I have been around Thais since 1971.  I was married to one from 1999 to 2007.  I know my own family is a "train wreck."  I always say I like Thailand and Thais. Most Thai families I've seen make me feel like I was raised in "Mr Rogers neighborhood."

Very loud shouting abuse is something I hear about every 2 weeks here from the family of the owners where I live.  No tjai yen here.

Is this the official poster?

 

It’s quite effective. 

Edited November 17, 20178 yr by Bluespunk

Try living with a  woman who is going through that certain time of life in her fifties.

If you haven't experienced it don't even begin to think you can imagine it. You can't, fact.

Saying 'good morning' or not saying  'good morning' can be enough to trigger what cannot be described.

9 minutes ago, overherebc said:

Try living with a  woman who is going through that certain time of life in her fifties.

If you haven't experienced it don't even begin to think you can imagine it. You can't, fact.

Saying 'good morning' or not saying  'good morning' can be enough to trigger what cannot be described.

 

Is menopause justification  for domestic violence in your mind?  

Edited November 17, 20178 yr by greatwhitenorth

8 minutes ago, greatwhitenorth said:

 

Is menopause justification  for domestic violence in your mind?  

Of course not, or would you feel better about yourself if I said it was.?

Edited November 17, 20178 yr by overherebc

36 minutes ago, overherebc said:

Of course not, or would you feel better about yourself if I said it was.?

no, I just wondered why you would want to share the intimate details of your home life on a topic concerning domestic violence unless there was a link.

 

I am glad you do not resort to domestic violence given your difficult situation.  My next concern of course  would be that you are a victim of domestic violence.  

51 minutes ago, greatwhitenorth said:

no, I just wondered why you would want to share the intimate details of your home life on a topic concerning domestic violence unless there was a link.

 

I am glad you do not resort to domestic violence given your difficult situation.  My next concern of course  would be that you are a victim of domestic violence.  

I really don't think making a comment such as I did is sharing intimate details. 

It's just saying that a lot of guys who have never gone through it and perhaps know themselves and how 'they' react in a 'domestic'  should perhaps prepare for a brand new life experience that may be coming there way soon.

In general a domestic can start from a defined point or happening and will most probably be two sided and escalate resulting in the immature partner throwing a slap or worse. If there is domestic violence pre-menopause it is not going to get better.

One of my friends had at times to leave home for a day or two when he was woken up at 3 or 4am and subjected to a screaming fit about something he had no idea about.

Believe me just talking about on a forum or with a friend who knows is the only way to handle it.

If you are married I hope you have the same experience as a couple of friends whose wives sailed through it without a ripple on the water.

In 9 years in the army I learned what verbals are from a couple of RSM's. Words.

Again I'll say if there are any physicals before it will get worse in some cases.

My Mrs yells and shouts at her kids and Mum, mind you she seems to have only one pitch to her voice; Loud i have noticed many Thai's tend to yell instead of talk,maybe all the loud music ,bike exhausts ?

9 minutes ago, marko kok prong said:

My Mrs yells and shouts at her kids and Mum, mind you she seems to have only one pitch to her voice; Loud i have noticed many Thai's tend to yell instead of talk,maybe all the loud music ,bike exhausts ?

Discussion and debating aren't part of the make up of many and that includes a lot of expats out here so the only way to express a point or a view is to shout or to try intimidate the other with insults.

I don't think it's particular to Thailand it's just that we seem to be more aware of it here.

Yet another ill-thought-out politically motivated campaign which will achieve nothing except to reinforce the simplistic stereotypical view of men as violent aggressors and women as victims - a travesty of the truth.

 

If the government is serious about child abuse, it should start by enforcing the existing law which bans corporal punishment in Thai schools.

 

When students are accustomed to being verbally and/or physically attacked by their teachers, it is hardly surprising they grow into violent and abusive adults with poor communication skills.

 

Time to stop passing the baton.

1 hour ago, Krataiboy said:

Yet another ill-thought-out politically motivated campaign which will achieve nothing except to reinforce the simplistic stereotypical view of men as violent aggressors and women as victims - a travesty of the truth.

 

If the government is serious about child abuse, it should start by enforcing the existing law which bans corporal punishment in Thai schools.

 

When students are accustomed to being verbally and/or physically attacked by their teachers, it is hardly surprising they grow into violent and abusive adults with poor communication skills.

 

Time to stop passing the baton.

For sure it's one of the major reasons.

Difficult to discuss anything with most Thais as logic and reason are like kryptonite to them and have been replaced with emotion and anger. and face of course.Disagree with them and you are 'attacking' them put some facts before them and they are likely to get frustrated and angry because they cannot think anything through or see another's point of view. Don't argue with a Thai woman especially as you will be at a disadvantage straight away because men have a need to make sense, women are in it for the shouting and point scoring

Edited November 17, 20178 yr by Orton Rd

Vindictive or virulent attitude seems to have become a norm amongst certain in Thailand.....

 

But before pointing the usual finger at Thai's, why not read some arguments/comments (by a minority) one these forums ?....they don't sound very consensual and can get rather rude and offending.

 

Conclusion, such dynamics seem to be anchored in human nature and not something specific to Thai's or farangs.

 

 

50 minutes ago, observer90210 said:

Vindictive or virulent attitude seems to have become a norm amongst certain in Thailand.....

 

But before pointing the usual finger at Thai's, why not read some arguments/comments (by a minority) one these forums ?....they don't sound very consensual and can get rather rude and offending.

 

Conclusion, such dynamics seem to be anchored in human nature and not something specific to Thai's or farangs.

 

 

Agree with your post but don't like the F word. Much prefer expat.

9 hours ago, Emster23 said:

Odd they left out booze as a contributing factor...

Being sober accounts for so little time thst it is easy to assume that someone is drunk at any hiven time in any family . It has become natural. 

5 minutes ago, mikiea said:

Being sober accounts for so little time thst it is easy to assume that someone is drunk at any hiven time in any family . It has become natural. 

That one is across the board irrespective of nationality.