Where to meet new friends in Chiang Mai ?

[MaeJoMTB]

26 minutes ago, NancyL said:

The symptoms you describe with your former wife would seem to be clinical depression, perhaps exacerbated by the hormonal change of menopause.  She should have sought professional help.  Medication and counselling can help.  Maybe she did, which is why she is now your former wife.

You're absolutely right, I have no time (or interest) to devote to the chronically sick (mentally or physically).

You're gonna be sick (in the head) for the rest of your life? Thanks, and goodbye!

 

Can never understand those who want to live in misery due to someone else's misfortunes in life.

I'm a selfish person, me, me, me ..... and happy to be that way.

 

Edited December 9, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[NancyL]

19 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

You're absolutely right, I have no time (or interest) to devote to the chronically sick (mentally or physically).

You're gonna be sick (in the head) for the rest of your life? Thanks, and goodbye!

 

Can never understand those who want to live in misery due to someone else's misfortunes in life.

I'm a selfish person, me, me, me ..... and happy to be that way.

 

Wow, I hope you tell whomever presides over your many marriage ceremonies to leave out the part about "in sickness and in health" from your vows.  And I hope the ladies tell the presiding authority to leave out the part about "in richer and in poorer".  

 

As I said, your former wife's condition was probably exacerbated by the hormonal change of menopause and it's treatable.  It isn't a long-term condition. It wasn't that she "lost her will to live" because she could no longer reproduce.  That's a load of BS.

[XGM]

23 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

 

Can never understand those who want to live in misery due to someone else's misfortunes in life.

 

Nobody wants to live in misery. Some people actually feel better helping loved ones rather then cutting ties.

[MaeJoMTB]

1 hour ago, NancyL said:

Wow, I hope you tell whomever presides over your many marriage ceremonies to leave out the part about "in sickness and in health" from your vows.  And I hope the ladies tell the presiding authority to leave out the part about "in richer and in poorer".  

Much easier in Thailand, I pay my MUCH younger wife to have sex and DNA tested babies with me, and she's happy with the deal.

No need for foolish promises/lies that no white woman ever keeps (or feels bound by in any way) in front of any imaginary deity.

 

Back to OP,

Was out with a pal in LK last night, met several new young and attractive friends, along with several old ones. 

Edited December 9, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[totally thaied up]

15 hours ago, NancyL said:

Most of the retired western women who I know here are just fine financially, if that's what you mean. 

Most are, but over the years I have met more than a few that have no way to go home, live on their wits selling by using other Thai market sellers to sell their wares in the markets. Other I I have met are working for Thai Companies with no permit. Like crazy farang men, I have met my fair run nutty farang ladies with bizarre ideas about life.

 

I feel this goes both ways for men/women but in all honesty, if I was an older farang lady and had access to a fair bit of cash, Thailand would not be my pick if I was single. I have had singe farang ladies tell me in the competition here for them is just too hard to beat.

 

I have not dated a farang girl ever in my life if I can recall so I have no experience in this realm. Once again, there are farang women here that have no way to get home due to unknown reasons, and for me, that for anyone is a sad state to be in at any stage of life. 

[MaeJoMTB]

8 minutes ago, totally thaied up said:

I have not dated a farang girl ever in my life if I can recall so I have no experience in this realm. 

Most of us haven't been as lucky in life as you!

[cyberfarang]

4 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

You're absolutely right, I have no time (or interest) to devote to the chronically sick (mentally or physically).

You're gonna be sick (in the head) for the rest of your life? Thanks, and goodbye!

 

Can never understand those who want to live in misery due to someone else's misfortunes in life.

I'm a selfish person, me, me, me ..... and happy to be that way.

 

I feel exactly the same way you do and in reverse.

 

Told my wife that if anything happens to me, mentally, physically or both, then to either place me in care or get someone to care for me at home. I do not want to become a burden to anyone and that should work both ways. Those who feel that others should care for them and dedicate years of their lives caring for someone as a duty that could become like a sentence is an act of selfishness. Perhaps if it involves children in need of care that`s a different story, but as for adults, adults should make their own arrangements for later life and not place restrictions on the lives of others.

[Gruff]

4 hours ago, NancyL said:

Wow, I hope you tell whomever presides over your many marriage ceremonies to leave out the part about "in sickness and in health" from your vows.  And I hope the ladies tell the presiding authority to leave out the part about "in richer and in poorer".  

 

As I said, your former wife's condition was probably exacerbated by the hormonal change of menopause and it's treatable.  It isn't a long-term condition. It wasn't that she "lost her will to live" because she could no longer reproduce.  That's a load of BS.

The marriage vows are so outdated 'for better for worse' etc. that just gives both husband and wife a pathetic excuse to stop caring about themselves and each other. Simple, why not just let a couple agree their own marriage vows?

Edited December 9, 2017 by Gruff

[Gruff]

4 hours ago, NancyL said:

Wow, I hope you tell whomever presides over your many marriage ceremonies to leave out the part about "in sickness and in health" from your vows.  And I hope the ladies tell the presiding authority to leave out the part about "in richer and in poorer".  

 

As I said, your former wife's condition was probably exacerbated by the hormonal change of menopause and it's treatable.  It isn't a long-term condition. It wasn't that she "lost her will to live" because she could no longer reproduce.  That's a load of BS.

Sounds more like a poor excuse for dreadful behavior to me. But it is nice to hear a female perspective on this forum, i hope you keep posting.

[Gruff]

8 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

I feel exactly the same way you do and in reverse.

 

Told my wife that if anything happens to me, mentally, physically or both, then to either place me in care or get someone to care for me at home. I do not want to become a burden to anyone and that should work both ways. Those who feel that others should care for them and dedicate years of their lives caring for someone as a duty that could become like a sentence is an act of selfishness. Perhaps if it involves children in need of care that`s a different story, but as for adults, adults should make their own arrangements for later life and not place restrictions on the lives of others.

 

I feel exactly the same, very well put

 

[Gruff]

3 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Much easier in Thailand, I pay my MUCH younger wife to have sex and DNA tested babies with me, and she's happy with the deal.

No need for foolish promises/lies that no white woman ever keeps (or feels bound by in any way) in front of any imaginary deity.

 

Back to OP,

 

 Sad but i think true, but are men any better ??

[jak2002003]

3 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

Much easier in Thailand, I pay my MUCH younger wife to have sex and DNA tested babies with me, and she's happy with the deal.

No need for foolish promises/lies that no white woman ever keeps (or feels bound by in any way) in front of any imaginary deity.

 

Back to OP,

Was out with a pal in LK last night, met several new young and attractive friends, along with several old ones. 

You sound such a nice guy living a fulfilled and happy life.... not.

 

You have to pay a women to be your wife.  So you can own her?  You have to pay her for sex even after you are married?

 

You use her like a prize winning sow... to give birth to your offspring... which you have DNA tested.  You can't even trust your wife to have kids that belong to you?

 

You say you won't care for sick or ill people because you care too much about yourself.  So if you baby or children become seriously ill you will just abandon them and not give a dam about them?  If someone you love needs you help you won't consider it.

 

You must also feel so worthless yourself that you would think no one will love you or take care of you if you are ill?  I feel very sorry for you and would hate to have a life like that.

 

Maybe try to trust people more and start to care about others and you might find your life is improved.

 

[Gruff]

3 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

You sound such a nice guy living a fulfilled and happy life.... not.

 

You have to pay a women to be your wife.  So you can own her?  You have to pay her for sex even after you are married?

 

You use her like a prize winning sow... to give birth to your offspring... which you have DNA tested.  You can't even trust your wife to have kids that belong to you?

 

You say you won't care for sick or ill people because you care too much about yourself.  So if you baby or children become seriously ill you will just abandon them and not give a dam about them?  If someone you love needs you help you won't consider it.

 

You must also feel so worthless yourself that you would think no one will love you or take care of you if you are ill?  I feel very sorry for you and would hate to have a life like that.

 

Maybe try to trust people more and start to care about others and you might find your life is improved.

 

I understand your sentiments, but i think the percentage of fathers that are bringing up kids that they believe are their's but are not, is surprisingly high. 

[NancyL]

39 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

I feel exactly the same way you do and in reverse.

 

Told my wife that if anything happens to me, mentally, physically or both, then to either place me in care or get someone to care for me at home. I do not want to become a burden to anyone and that should work both ways. Those who feel that others should care for them and dedicate years of their lives caring for someone as a duty that could become like a sentence is an act of selfishness. Perhaps if it involves children in need of care that`s a different story, but as for adults, adults should make their own arrangements for later life and not place restrictions on the lives of others.

I hope you have set aside adequate resources for this.  Even here in Thailand good quality care can run about 120,000 baht/month if you have high-care needs.  I agree that the "in sickness and in health" vow doesn't mean that one partner has to physically provide the care when the other is in need, but it is their duty to see that the one in need is receiving appropriate care.  Hubby and I enrolled in long-term care insurance while still in our 20s and the monthly premiums are a mere pittance, yet the policies will pay for up to $7000 per month of assisted living or nursing home care per person should we ever need it.  Had we waited until our fifties to get such policies, the monthly cost would have been very high.

[NancyL]

Counting on your Thai family to be your "long-term care insurance policy" isn't a good plan.  Chances are slim-to-none that they've been trained in how to care for the needs of a large person, know how to prepare easy-to-eat food that is of interest to the western palate, have proper equipment to move and bathe a large person, know what to do when someone is choking, appears to be having a stroke or heart attack, know how to dispense a person's medicines properly, etc.  And they may not know how to keep someone's visa, banking and pension needs current and up-to-date.  The assisted living centers here in Chiang Mai have professionals who can provide these services.

 

Chiang Mai is fortunate to have several good assisted living centers and one skilled nursing facility.  This is another reason why it is attractive to single women.  They know they can "age in place" and have access to good medical care, starting with general medical care when they are active retirees and progressing to good assisted living care and even nursing home care as they age.  And at every facility, they're treated with respect and dignity.

[sanemax]

23 minutes ago, jak2002003 said:

You have to pay a women to be your wife.  So you can own her?  You have to pay her for sex even after you are married?

 

He doesnt even "own" her though , he has stated that she also has other men on the go

[MaeJoMTB]

1 hour ago, jak2002003 said:

You have to pay a women to be your wife.  So you can own her?  You have to pay her for sex even after you are married?

You use her like a prize winning sow... to give birth to your offspring... which you have DNA tested.  You can't even trust your wife to have kids that belong to you?

I never said I own her, I just pay rent (just like all the other guys with much younger women), what she does in her time off is entirely up to her. (Do you think Trump isn't renting his wife?) If mine feels like seeking new employment, up to her, would give me a chance for a new one with less mileage.

 

Owning a person? ........ some of you have strange ideas.

Edited December 9, 2017 by MaeJoMTB

[totally thaied up]

35 minutes ago, NancyL said:

Hubby and I enrolled in long-term care insurance while still in our 20s and the monthly premiums are a mere pittance, yet the policies will pay for up to $7000 per month of assisted living or nursing home care per person should we ever need it.

 

1 hour ago, cyberfarang said:

I do not want to become a burden to anyone and that should work both ways.

 

6 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

You're absolutely right, I have no time (or interest) to devote to the chronically sick (mentally or physically).

You're gonna be sick (in the head) for the rest of your life? Thanks, and goodbye!

This applies to the above three statements.

 

I got told from a very young age I had a severe mental disorder. This made any form of insurance or medical program just about impossible for me to join. Beyond most odds, I led a very reasonable, successful working life till I turned 38. I did not have a lifetime of work to build a great nest egg or to be able to be enrolled in such programs. If I wanted to join such applications, the premiums I could not afford or flatly refused because of my condition. I was pensioned off and practically left on my own. I did not wish to have much out of life. Once a year a trip to Thailand, Indonesia or the Philippines because no one wanted me back in Australia as a partner. 

 

I do/did not want to be a burden on anyone, especially my elderly family back in my home country. I came to Thailand and lived as well as I could, but I know one day in the future, somebody is going to have to look after me as neither my home country or even here, will I be able to afford that type of care.

 

If you are sick in the head, you cannot do much about it. I cannot change the outcome that I will most likely die in my wife's village without excellent health care. I do have insurance for sickness now after a lot of looking (does not cover my mental health) but after 75, if I make it that far, I cannot afford the premiums, and I will have to worry about it all from that point on. To say hopefully, I will be dead at that point.

 

All I want to say is some people do not have the benefit of good health from day one, and not many Governments in the world (from just my experience in the system) are up to handle it if you do not have money, job or work/private insurance.

 

If I ever get to the state, I am too much of a burden, I have already stated my wishes to my wife. Not all of us have the luxury to die in a 5-star resort care centres and coming from me, it is and was not from a lack of trying. I can tell you stories of some of my friends dying at home in horrific circumstances and merely is due to no resources and no money.

[Sandy Freckle]

20 hours ago, cyberfarang said:

It`s strange actually. I have known a few middle aged and elderly western women that have left their own countries, leaving behind friends, their children, grandchildren, families and even selling up decent homes, giving it all up to come and live in Chiang Mai as virtual recluses. Never understood why?

My personal opinion..., and answer to this last question is:.....,
simply, because they can.
Fortunately these days in this 'mostly real' world.., different people(regardless of gender etc) are allowed to make different choices..., without having to explain why to anyone.
That shouldn't be so hard to comprehend.  

Edited December 9, 2017 by Sandy Freckle

[songhklasid]

I am semi retired, as so spend about 6 mths in cnx, ( my wife's village, east of sankhaemphang) i learned the language, go touring nth thailand on my bike, meet the people, if you get the yearn for excitement, jump on a plane to bkk, taxi to pattaya, I have my favourite beer bars in cnx, know a few expats, share a yarn & western feed, but mainly run my own race, hope this was a help to you, welcome !

reds songhklasid

[opalred]

i wonder why anyone would come to cm 

some one asked how to meet people 

we are on menopause  and adverts for rip off care mobs

i am surprised they haven't sold you insurance or a condo yet 

[Dante99]

15 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

I just pay rent (just like all the other guys with much younger women)

I do not doubt it but luckly I have avoided you and your kind for several decades in CM.  It is definately not "all the other guys" that play it your way.  

[Sandy Freckle]

I quite like basing myself in CM for part of our south western Oz winter...., I enjoy the food and various destinations choices that can be accessed from Chiang Mai now. For the most part I don't mind travelling alone..., it affords me 360 degrees of choices imo. I always try to make friends and learn new things wherever I go..., but, as creepy as some people may choose to read it, yes, sometimes I do feel it would be good to know of another place to go for a drink/yarn/chat...., game of pool..., maybe sling off at English Cricket Team's latest efforts etc...., be that a cafe, restaurant or bar (not necessarily a freelancer or hook-up place). I intend going along to expat club breakfast on my next visit. 
Actually, I can usually find an ice cold 'frosty or 2', some reasonable tucker and a decent conversation(preferably informed?) in friendly and civilised surroundings at The UN Irish Pub...., but it would be nice to know of other similar places ? 

Edited December 10, 2017 by Sandy Freckle

[totally thaied up]

2 minutes ago, Sandy Freckle said:

I quite like basing myself in CM for part of our south western Oz winter...., I quite like the food and various destinations choices that can be accessed from here now. For the most part I don't mind travelling alone..., 360 degrees of choices imo. I try to make friends and learn new things wherever I go..., but, as creepy as some people may choose read it, yes, sometimes I do feel it would be good to know of a place to go for a drink/yarn/chat...., game of pool..., maybe sling off at English Cricket Team's latest efforts etc...., be that a cafe, restaurant or bar (not necessarily a freelancer or hook-up place).  Actually, I can usually find a decent conversation in friendly and civilised surroundings at The UN Irish Pub...., but it would be nice to know of other similar places ? 

I can find places mostly now away from that all. Last night my wife and I had a quick eat at a food hall in one of the major complexes and we met an amazing Muslim lady and had a great conversation. It depends on what you want. Many such places you describe just have too many local farang problems once you get known to them and you end up after a few months hanging around them, leaving to the restlessness of the place. You try and leave country and politics along but you will always have one table drunk and just push things. That is one of the main reasons I do not hang in the old town anymore.

 

We now prefer to go to Thai only areas of town and bring just our own circle of Thai/farang friends and meet up. There are so many places here t go to and like you said, are open and friendly, you will never be short of company. Maybe learning Thai somewhat more, smiling and just hanging lose if I was single or looking for friends is the way to go. There is no shortage of entertainment. One the way home from eating last night, we stopped at a Thai bar and I met a English guy and his Thai wife just having a beer. We spoke for a good two hours and exchanged LINE details. My wife can stop at just about any eatery or non-girly bar and within 15 minutes, have a stack of unknowns talking a fest to us.

 

I just you need to try. I have friends that are total recluses and that is how they want to be. With a few of them, I expect over the coming years I will be the one to find them dead in their Condos (if I don't go first). They like it like that as most have had a very rough life.

 

 

[VocalNeal]

On 12/8/2017 at 3:08 PM, Dante99 said:

However, not all of us like that kind of organized atmosphere,

 

Nothing at the Hash could be considered "organized". Usually quite the opposite. 

 

I'll get my hat!

[Sandy Freckle]

6 minutes ago, totally thaied up said:

 

We now prefer to go to Thai only areas of town and bring just our own circle of Thai/farang friends and meet up. There are so many places here t go to and like you said, are open and friendly, you will never be short of company. Maybe learning Thai somewhat more, smiling and just hanging lose if I was single or looking for friends is the way to go. There is no shortage of entertainment. One the way home from eating last night, we stopped at a Thai bar and I met a English guy and his Thai wife just having a beer. We spoke for a good two hours and exchanged LINE details. My wife can stop at just about any eatery or non-girly bar and within 15 minutes, have a stack of unknowns talking a fest to us.

 

Yes thanks for that example of good randomness(serendipity), I really like that kind randomness - it's priceless..., just goes to show what a friendly and open attitude can bring..., you never know what's around the corner. I try to learn a little more 'spoken word' Thai with every visit. Plus..., I reckon an open and positive attitude is the way forward. But also while I like a an occasional drink, I back away from people who can't handle their drink and are inappropriately offensive.
No need for it..., no excuse of bad manners. 

 

 

 

[totally thaied up]

5 minutes ago, Sandy Freckle said:

, I reckon an open and positive attitude is the way forward. But also while I like a an occasional drink, I back away from people who can't handle their drink and are inappropriately offensive.

No need for it..., no excuse of bad manners. 

2

That is the main problem. Three or four places I know I just cannot visit anymore that are primarily farang based and by 3pm in the afternoon, the level of drunken behaviour is just too much. I can easily sit and listen to a bunch of people waffle on about stuff but when they become defensive for no reason at all because of the booze, it just becomes a no-go zone.

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎12‎/‎9‎/‎2017 at 11:18 AM, NancyL said:

Wow, I hope you tell whomever presides over your many marriage ceremonies to leave out the part about "in sickness and in health" from your vows.  And I hope the ladies tell the presiding authority to leave out the part about "in richer and in poorer".  

 

As I said, your former wife's condition was probably exacerbated by the hormonal change of menopause and it's treatable.  It isn't a long-term condition. It wasn't that she "lost her will to live" because she could no longer reproduce.  That's a load of BS.

Thai marriages don't include a load of false vows that everyone ignores so that's a step up from western lies. The sickness and health ceremony also includes till death do you part and no one cares about that anymore.

I will admit that his stated attitude is somewhat harsh, but at least he's being honest, unlike women that promise to "love and obey" and do neither.

 

My wife suffered from many problems, both physical and psychological, but despite my support and encouragement never did anything about them, so the old saying about taking horses to water etc is significant.

In the end, she absolved me of trying to help her by kicking me out ( once it was obvious the ATM was no longer in service ).

 

Perhaps the problem with modern marriage is that we have unrealistic expectations. If we were more honest, it would cut down on the marriages for all the wrong reasons and ergo, the number of divorces. That would be a good result.

[MaeJoMTB]

50 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

My wife suffered from many problems, both physical and psychological, but despite my support and encouragement never did anything about them, so the old saying about taking horses to water etc is significant.

In the end, she absolved me of trying to help her by kicking me out ( once it was obvious the ATM was no longer in service ).

There's a lot of us living here with the same past lives.

[Gruff]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Thai marriages don't include a load of false vows that everyone ignores so that's a step up from western lies. The sickness and health ceremony also includes till death do you part and no one cares about that anymore.

I will admit that his stated attitude is somewhat harsh, but at least he's being honest, unlike women that promise to "love and obey" and do neither.

 

My wife suffered from many problems, both physical and psychological, but despite my support and encouragement never did anything about them, so the old saying about taking horses to water etc is significant.

In the end, she absolved me of trying to help her by kicking me out ( once it was obvious the ATM was no longer in service ).

 

Perhaps the problem with modern marriage is that we have unrealistic expectations. If we were more honest, it would cut down on the marriages for all the wrong reasons and ergo, the number of divorces. That would be a good result.

 

I agree i think  modern media encourages us to have expectations which are too high and in my personal opinion i think women are more likely than men to be influenced by what they hear read and see

Edited December 10, 2017 by Gruff