The week that was in Thailand news: Thailand – it’s mad but it’s home.

 

 

It’s always a pleasure when one meets a Thai who knows something about their country. I don’t mean to be big headed, but all too often a more detailed discussion seems pointless not just for the fact that most Thais shun detailed discussions anyway, but more that my interlocutor invariably seems blessed with generalities but little of real substance.

 

I usually prefer to concentrate discussions on my failings in the Thai language because, despite the inevitable praise about my abilities in this respect, I meet few who I could ever actually match.

 

But while they will always have the edge in syntax I can more than hold my own in substance.

 

I often put it down to the fact that rather like those brainboxes on the British quiz show “Mastermind”, my chosen subject has always been Thailand.

 

Many locals prefer to let their country wash over them in the vague hope that some knowledge will stick, while I prefer to delve and have spent the best part of four decades trying to come to terms with the knotty problem of what makes Thailand tick!

 

There is no doubt that like all complex societies and systems, Thailand is not readily easy to fathom.

 

But haven’t we all met newbies to the country – those who have been here less than ten years – who know it all. Come to that we have all met know it all tourists who have had a week in Pattaya.

 

For such people I smile the Thai smile that looks like I agree but hides my true feelings behind a dense door of derision.

 

Not that I flaunt my knowledge. As a schoolteacher fronting the Thai department at a big school I much preferred to celebrate a student’s new found understanding than dwell on my own. Besides, the best example for an educator is to profess the notion that there is always more to learn.

 

And is that ever true of Thailand, he asks rhetorically. With each passing week observing the Thai news I am reminded of how little I really know and understand.

 

This week – as New Year approaches – we were inevitably bombarded by the latest harebrained schemes to address the road carnage. One centered on helmets, another drink driving – then one that nearly caused me to propel my coffee at the screen….

 

A suggestion that a points totting up system could be the answer to improving driving habits.

 

Of course, everything really comes down to the lack of enforcement and the connivance of the people and the police – everyone in fact – to break the law with what amounts to gay abandon.

 

Those newbies call for the police to enforce the law, for the politicians to threaten rozzers with the sack if they don’t, for the public to “pull their socks up” and become law abiding Germans or Japanese overnight.

 

But it’s pointless.

 

Why should the Thais be so lawless? Pondering the question one can only look to the disturbing fact that the great majority of people see the law – even constitutions - as a secular intrusion on more serious matters from above.

 

And by above I don’t necessarily mean heavenly figures that have inspired their faith in karma rather than cops, there are less celestial beings who have led them a merry dance showing scant regard for the law themselves.

 

Which brings me rather neatly onto the distressing example of deputy premier Prawit and his bling!

 

Prawit needs an advisor. Not to help him with assets’ declarations – doubtless he’d see that as beneath him – but with tips on what to spend his money on.

 

The general would have been better advised to use his millions to have some facial reconstruction.

 

It could have helped with toning down the greatest ugliness since Chaovalit Yongchaiyuth topped the charts in the 90s and would give him the added advantage of being able to sidestep detection in the future if the junta are ever held accountable for failing to return happiness.

 

Prayut’s Number 2 – in more ways than one – will naturally come out with his laughable excuses when the Assets’ Commission comes calling leaving us mere mortals to ponder if he is in fact more “lor” (handsome) or “lor len” (joking).

 

With his call for the ban on sitting in the back of pick-ups to be resurrected at New Year, it must be the latter.

 

Meanwhile, as His Majesty the King confirmed 194 new police posts this week, came news that firmly ensconced national chief Jakthip had issued further guidelines on police behavior.

 

After officers were told to get haircuts and wear their uniform properly, this week he demanded his minions respect the public by using proper language and behavior.

 

What a shame that five minutes later one of his men was filmed getting out of a police pick-up and threatening a woman in a car menacingly after HE tried to pull in front of her.

 

Jakthip’s directive also called for cops to not be standing around with their hands in their pockets.

 

This incongruity was not missed on many forum posters.

 

At least if their hands are in their pockets they are not in ours.

 

More highly dubious examples of police behavior concerned the top soap-like-drama of the week in Pattaya where “net idol” Fluksri – another serial ugly - had her car impounded after being caught with an e-fag in the dash.

 

The situation is absurd. The government is going after e-cigarettes because of excise issues just as they are trying to stop beach smoking due to damage to the environment.

 

Because of the huge penalties in place for both they end up looking ridiculous when they could be seen as doing something for public health if they began to promote vaping and just introduced small, realistic, fines for beach puffing.

 

The junta have created a cast-iron rod for their own backs in terms of enforcement. Now they have public ridicule to contend with – though, admittedly, the generals should be used to that insubordination by now.

 

Apropos the smoking ban it was interesting to see that 56,000 butts had been picked up on Jomtien beach alone in the six weeks since the “softly-softly” version of the ban began.

 

Apart from wondering who sits and counts that evidence, I hope they have some jail space for the smokers come February 1st.

 

That is when they intend to “get tough” though “get trough” may be more accurate.

 

Surely it will just be a way to extort money from the unwary. Prepare to see headlines in six weeks that merely confirm what I would now like to introduce as “C.O.R.” – or the ‘Cycle of Ridicule’.

 

At the airport some heat was taken off the authorities this week with the antics of “Spiderwoman at Swampy” – the westerner scaling the viewing area.

 

Caught wandering the expressway earlier, the woman had been taken to the airport not to deport her but to pass the problem on to the Tourist Police who gave her a sandwich and a drink then inadvisable let her loose.

 

Embarrassment was avoided as some swift action by the airport authority and the appropriate placement of airbags meant one less dead tourist and a lot of face saved into the bargain.

 

While the Thaivisa forum could all have a go at the foreigner for letting the “western” side down.

 

Actually the Thais probably had more admiration than condemnation for this stunt as it’s butt cheeks and feet associated with heads and religion that really gets their goat.

 

And Swampy is no Wat Arun.

 

To wit, a prominent western journalist who shall remain nameless was trolled this week when he claimed that the US gay couple on their “butt tour” were unrepentant continuing to show pictures of their cheeks at Wat Arun despite being fined and deported.

 

In fact a fake Instagram account had been set up – the journalist concerned should have spotted that followers were in the 700s rather than the 14,000s prior to the Americans’ arrest.

 

And so to this week’s Rooster Awards and seeing as I am getting in a festive spirit I would like to be kind to the “Most Hated German in Thailand” Benjamin Holst for at least what we call in upper Sukhumvit – a Nana-second (the amount of time a Go-Go girl shows interest if you don’t buy her a ladies’ drink).

 

Herr Holst has finally found true love in the Gambia where he married a local woman this week. With this partly redeeming love match under his ample Teutonic belt I would now like to take back all the nasty things I have said about him and in honor of Rowan Atkinson’s Blackadder give him the “Fluffy Award”.

 

While I think I am unable to “bear” any more stories about Herr H I would like to award the “Not So Fluffy Award” to the cartoon bears at the Moto Expo in Bangkok filmed “groping a woman’s breast” and “grinding” their furry bits for the cameras.

 

At least it was a step up from last year when the culture minister went loopy after a “pretty” performed a sexy dance routine. Now, I just can’t wait to see if the bears appear likewise at the police station to “wai” the victim and perhaps offer her some honey as recompense.

 

Finally, I was interested to see that Thai immigration opened their window of opportunity this week to those who qualify for Permanent Residence. PR hopefuls can apply from now until December 29th for that chance at a little more Thai legitimacy.

 

How well I remember being one of those hopefuls back in 2001 and finally being proudly granted my request about a year and a half later. The process was grueling but fun as myself and a friend did it all on our own. While the challenge helped foster a good relationship with the pleasant people at Bangkok immigration that continues to this day.

 

I never have understood the beef of foreigners who complain about immigration. Perhaps people who understand the country a little more than they do appreciate more fully the requirements for dealing with officialdom. It’s my only explanation.

 

With PR I can’t vote or own land but seeing as I wish to do neither that concerns me not one jot. I have little interest in citizenship preferring to regard myself as some global entity.

 

What I do have is the right of abode in a place - for all its madness, injustice and idiocy - which I have loved ever since setting foot here at Sungei Kolok on a bright morning in May 1982.

 

A day when I truly felt at home.

 

 

Rooster

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2017-12-16

Usually a good read from Rooster, but today I struggled with it some what. but the most important thing is he is happy here, just like I was before I had to go home for medical reasons and you know what Home felt like home, no really it felt like I had arrived back in a land where suddenly my fears for the future had disappeared. But as they say Home is where the heart is, so Rooster must have a really big heart.

 

All I need to do now is get rid of all those mosquito bites on my legs, those scars are ugly. So Rooster with your experience here, how the hell do I get rid of those scars?

 

Looks like there are two happy guys in the world today, one for being here and one for not being here. That's life.

Edited December 16, 20178 yr by wakeupplease

As usual a good read and a number of points to ponder. 

The immigration comment is spot-on. Many of us complain what a pain in the proverbial it is each year and every 90 days to ensure our stay in ensured - however if you do the miles before the visit, it can be all smiles until next time. 

Ahh, it must be Sunday again, I get to read another pleasant Rooster rant. One of many highlights of my week

On ‎12‎/‎16‎/‎2017 at 9:48 PM, wakeupplease said:

Usually a good read from Rooster, but today I struggled with it some what. but the most important thing is he is happy here, just like I was before I had to go home for medical reasons and you know what Home felt like home, no really it felt like I had arrived back in a land where suddenly my fears for the future had disappeared. But as they say Home is where the heart is, so Rooster must have a really big heart.

 

All I need to do now is get rid of all those mosquito bites on my legs, those scars are ugly. So Rooster with your experience here, how the hell do I get rid of those scars?

 

Looks like there are two happy guys in the world today, one for being here and one for not being here. That's life.

Mosquito bites a reason not to like living in LOS? I can think of far better, but I can also think of twice as many to prefer living in the land of once upon a time smiles, than the PC, cold place I still call "home".

Sorry to say, but I now prefer to live in LOS more because it isn't my home country than because of any particularly wonderful aspect in life here, other than being warm and cheap.

That is a big change though. When I first alighted on Thai soil decades ago, it was indeed my paradise- the smile was genuine, the people friendly, the climate wonderful, the culture a delight, the country amazing. Sadly, much has changed in the interim, and many of the things that attracted me have vanished.

However, somewhere cheap and warm has much to commend it still, even if the smile departed long ago.

 

Re the OP, IMO any farang that thinks they know a lot about LOS doesn't know enough to know that they don't know much at all.

Praise for immigration? You what? I am sitting in the departure lounge of swampy having queued for 1 1/2 hours to get through pp control. 3 officers, yes THREE, processing hundreds of passengers. Utterly disgraceful


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

On 12/16/2017 at 7:57 PM, rooster59 said:

There is no doubt that like all complex societies and systems, Thailand is not readily easy to fathom

I've often found this to be a common misconception. If you're raised not to ask questions and pretend to understand and have to interpret someone's instructions, of course you'll often be left baffled. 

 

My missus works for a foreign firm whose big bosses are foreign (English, Malay, Chinese, etc). My missus says some Thai staff sometimes complain that she asks too many questions or is too 'pushy'. Because my missus' company are in the business of making money, they always side with her. Like when my missus told the head of HR to delete some of her mail in her inbox asap so she could send her some mail. The head of HR complained and the head of HR got a bollocking for not deleting some mail and wasting everyone's time. This is systematic of 'I don't wanna do my job and I don't wanna be brought up on it'. You know, wanting to have your cake and eat it. 

 

Many people think that to like someone you have to agree with everything they say. If you find they say something you don't agree with, you can no longer respect them or like them. This is a huge problem the world over. Don't get stuck in an echo chamber like so many others. It's too easy and closes minds. 

what is this thread about? Thailand is better than the west even with all it's own shortcomings. Especially the USA. What we wrought upon SE Asia in my lifetime outranks anything in stupidity and insanity that goes on here. And now we are putting the finishing touches on something that even our politicians are now able to express and still be in office very long... Macron, just a few days ago..... broadcasted without correction on an American network TV program.... NB: again, broadcasted without being edited out somehow.... that billions of people will be victims..... that is WW2 times at least one order of magnitude.. and Macron was NOT on drugs. "opiod" or otherwise.

Edited December 21, 20178 yr by chompolsky