A Bar Girl Versus a Date – Is it really clear the best option?

[smotherb]

2 hours ago, Get Real said:

Just stop it now! One thing you do not have the right to do, is turn my meaning in to your deranged fantasy.

When did I say that renting a bar girl means establishing a relationship? 

 

This is what I said exactly: "Everything after that is related to same by trying to state that you can meet a bar girl that you consider living with instead of renting."

Do you see the 3 words "you can meet"? Do not ever again tell me that I am stating something that I do not, understand?
 

Get Real, please, live up to your name.  “ . . . you can meet a bar girl that you consider living with instead of renting." Sure, many men have considered living with them, but the rent does not stop; in fact, with the majority the rent increased as they became long-term customers and the financial providers for the girl’s family, buffaloes and boyfriends.  

[mikiea]

7 hours ago, Get Real said:

You are sure that you feel ok? I should consider reporting the comment as totally unreadable. I still don´t know what laguage you are trying to use. But I am going to try to ignore you in the future, even if it comes at a high cost of restraining myself.

Back to topic. You still didn´t explained anything, if I didn´t miss some important message in your unredable post.

My request was: Would you like to explain in real words, what you just responded to and why? This time I will also add a request how you came to such findings?

yes i think you might report me ....the world is full of hall monitors and stool pigeons .... that being said , i may have hurt your feelings . for that i am sorry and i  will call a wa wa wambulance to take you to a safe warm place where you understand as much as you want . let me know so i may call them .

[sanemax]

4 hours ago, Get Real said:

When did I say that renting a bar girl means establishing a relationship? 

This is what I said exactly: "Everything after that is related to same by trying to state that you can meet a bar girl that you consider living with instead of renting."

Although you may consider it to be a relationship, but she will always just consider you to just being a long term customer

[khunPer]

12 hours ago, smotherb said:

On 12/17/2017 at 9:49 AM, khunPer said:

You can't buy love, but you can buy something that feels and looks exactly like it...

Are you sure you are not talking about sex? Love is not the same thing.

Sure, I'm quoting someone famous with lots of experience in that field, however not that well know outside my home country...

[smotherb]

1 hour ago, khunPer said:

Sure, I'm quoting someone famous with lots of experience in that field, however not that well know outside my home country...

Really, sounds like the same drivel I hear from almost every bar stool.

[George FmplesdaCosteedback]

Horses for courses.

Entirely depends on what both sides want.

Some bar girls are just in it for money, others are looking for a way out of a situation.

Getting a date with a "respectable" Thai girl isn't so easy.

Thai men and women subscribe to the "gik" club which is just casual sex with no major responsibilities. Others are minor wives or mistresses with apartments and cars paid for.

 

Short time is just what it means and the online dating sites are full of hookers and gold diggers anyway.

 

Edited December 18, 2017 by George FmplesdaCosteedback

[Get Real]

5 hours ago, sanemax said:

Although you may consider it to be a relationship, but she will always just consider you to just being a long term customer

Right.  Thats what a open minded and person would say. 

[sanemax]

Just now, Get Real said:

Right.  Thats what a open minded and person would say. 

Thats what a person with experience says

[Get Real]

5 hours ago, mikiea said:

yes i think you might report me ....the world is full of hall monitors and stool pigeons .... that being said , i may have hurt your feelings . for that i am sorry and i  will call a wa wa wambulance to take you to a safe warm place where you understand as much as you want . let me know so i may call them .

Why don´t you call them for your own sake? You seem to be the one in need.

[Get Real]

6 hours ago, smotherb said:

Get Real, please, live up to your name.  “ . . . you can meet a bar girl that you consider living with instead of renting." Sure, many men have considered living with them, but the rent does not stop; in fact, with the majority the rent increased as they became long-term customers and the financial providers for the girl’s family, buffaloes and boyfriends.  

 

Yeah, sure! At least I have the possibility to live up to my handle (not name). You on the other hand, I do not even no how you are going to succeed with that, due to that it makes no sense. 

To, get real, as you are stating it, it occurs to me that your life has been very closed and focused on only the one way street. Please, feel free to correct me if I am wrong. The only other explaination for a person that only have one way of thinking, in the negative area, is that he, or she, just made to many wrong choices in life.

BTW, I never tried to state that the "rent" part had stopped at any time. Just seeing all the possibilities that can occur in different person lifes and histories of experience.

Why do you need to ever become a financial provider?
What happens if you explain from start what is accepable and what is not?
What if you live like two people that shares all the ups and downs in life and the financial situation?
What if you are totally open to each other and never lie about things or hide something?
What if you look at yourself and as a real man, never accept yourself cheating on your partner?
What if you don´t do like so many others and think thta you are entitled to boozing and partying with your friends 4-7 days a week?
What if you really do interest yourself for her, her family and her friends and do not look down at them as lower individuals?
What if you really do help with a difficult situation when the real need occurs, like you would have done for everybody in your home country?

I am not saying that you have, or fit in on the above questions. Just stated them as a food for for thoughts.

[Get Real]

21 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Thats what a person with experience says

Or, just a whole lot of bad choices regarding that area in life. You do realize, that the more one try for himself the more one look like a bar man. 

[Gruff]

9 hours ago, sanemax said:

Although you may consider it to be a relationship, but she will always just consider you to just being a long term customer

Long Tem customer equals relationship  What type of relationship that will develop into who will know. Same as a marriage who knows where that will go?

[OneMoreFarang]

13 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Depends on the desired night out one wants.

A BG goes where YOU want to go, eats where YOU want to ( or doesn't if YOU don't want to ), only drinks what you want her to, goes back to the room when YOU want to, and a happy ending is guaranteed.

Good comment! That is the way it is supposed to be. Obviously the girl can make suggestions what she likes to drink, etc. But at the end of the days it's you who decides and pays the bill. In my opinion that is where the problems of lots of guys start. If they ask the girl what she wants and if they do everything she tells them then they should not be surprised that they end up doing everything she wants - including paying for the sick buffalo, etc.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, smotherb said:

Simon must have sat on some of those stools. The point is sex is not love--you can buy something that seems like sex, because it is. However, you cannot buy love.

With sex it's obvious that sex is sex. But what is love?

I.e. a women can be very nice to a guy for a day or a week or months because she loves him or because she knows at the end of the day she gets paid or when she divorces him she gets millions or maybe one day she truly loves him and the next day she only pretends to love him for whatever reason. Maybe if a couple is together for a long time you can say at the end she loved him and/or he loved her because there is no better explanation for their past behavior. But I think if you just look at a couple i.e. for a day you don't know if it is love or not. It's all in the mind of the people involved - and they might think the same of something completely different about their relation at the same time. And in my experience Thai women are experts in playing the loving gf/wife - it's often impossible to tell.

[metisdead]

A post containing foreign language has been removed as this is the English language side of the forum.   Another post containing inflammatory comments directed at other members has been removed. 

[sanemax]

One of my neighbors a freelancer BG , quite young and pretty , had numerous felang  boyfriends on the go at the same time , who all thought that they were the only one .

   Her whole life revolved around "boyfriends" , often being with three different ones in a day .

One day she had a boyfriend in her room, telling him that she loved him , then went outside and spoke to another boyfriend on the phone, telling him she loved him and there was also the boyfriend abroad .

  And they all changed on a regular basis .

I did say to her one day "Out of all your boyfriends, who do you love "

She thought about it and said "Whoever pays me the most money , the felang boyfriend abroad has offered me 15 000 Baht a month , and the boyfriend in the room had offered me 10 . I want someone to give me 20 000 Baht a month and then I will love him"

[Gruff]

53 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

With sex it's obvious that sex is sex. But what is love?

I.e. a women can be very nice to a guy for a day or a week or months because she loves him or because she knows at the end of the day she gets paid or when she divorces him she gets millions or maybe one day she truly loves him and the next day she only pretends to love him for whatever reason. Maybe if a couple is together for a long time you can say at the end she loved him and/or he loved her because there is no better explanation for their past behavior. But I think if you just look at a couple i.e. for a day you don't know if it is love or not. It's all in the mind of the people involved - and they might think the same of something completely different about their relation at the same time. And in my experience Thai women are experts in playing the loving gf/wife - it's often impossible to tell.

It is also said that in every relationship (marriage / gf/bf etc) that one party will always love more than the other.  I have also met a few girls that are open enough to say that they are actively seeking a guy who will love them more than love him. In a way is it pretty sad !

 

I agree it is impossible to tell and many fail to realise what fantastic liars and deceivers human beings can be. On the other side of the coin i can also see that being 'delusional' maybe not such a bad place to be (if you can afford it)!

Edited December 19, 2017 by Gruff

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, Kadilo said:

Yeah I get all that and you're correct in saying that and my experience is varied. There are some who embrace not having to work and make an effort to enjoy the night you plan and there are those who are endlessly on the phone and dropping hints about a party every one is at (thai) and all her friends are meeting at or would rather go Lusipher because they play all the hip hop <deleted> and they ain't got a clue about dance music :)

I get your drift though. 

Man up and tell her not to use the phone while she is with you, and if they are trying to tell you where to go/ what to do it's time to trade her in.

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, sanemax said:

If thats the type of woman that you want, it may explain why you cannot find a non bg female 

Finding a plump divorced farang woman with kids that isn't into sex to marry isn't hard back home. I just have no interest in such women at all, none, zero, nada, nohow.

I tried the "normal route" and I tried the Thai way, and no prizes for guessing which I prefer.

Like a wise man said, "we don't pay them for sex, we pay them to leave".

I've had enough of selfish, demanding, unreasonable women and prefer not to be with one ever again than that sort.

[thaibeachlovers]

17 hours ago, sanemax said:

Although you may consider it to be a relationship, but she will always just consider you to just being a long term customer

If she does what I want, and is pleasant, slim ( no fatties allowed in my bed ) and doesn't think she is my boss I'll happily be a long term customer. The "true love" western non prossy I had first time around took me for far more than every other girlfriend/ wife I had since, and was the hag from hell to go with it.

[thaibeachlovers]

17 hours ago, khunPer said:

Sure, I'm quoting someone famous with lots of experience in that field, however not that well know outside my home country...

I'm with you. "Love" as in the western version is a female invention to guilt men into being nice to them. IMO it doesn't exist.

IMO the best any man can hope for is that lust will morph into friendship, rather than rejection.

[MaeJoMTB]

6 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

If she does what I want, and is pleasant, slim ( no fatties allowed in my bed ) and doesn't think she is my boss I'll happily be a long term customer. The "true love" western non prossy I had first time around took me for far more than every other girlfriend/ wife I had since, and was the hag from hell to go with it.

#Metoo

[thaibeachlovers]

11 hours ago, Get Real said:

Or, just a whole lot of bad choices regarding that area in life. You do realize, that the more one try for himself the more one look like a bar man. 

What's wrong with being a bar man?

Being of the opinion that one is better than another is not a good attribute to have.

[thaibeachlovers]

6 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Good comment! That is the way it is supposed to be. Obviously the girl can make suggestions what she likes to drink, etc. But at the end of the days it's you who decides and pays the bill. In my opinion that is where the problems of lots of guys start. If they ask the girl what she wants and if they do everything she tells them then they should not be surprised that they end up doing everything she wants - including paying for the sick buffalo, etc.

If I only did what one of my long term Thai GFs wanted to do we would have never left the hotel room ( tv/ sleep, not sex ) except to eat or visit her friends.

I took her to many interesting places all over, and she always enjoyed the experience, but she had zero initiative.

[thaibeachlovers]

3 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

With sex it's obvious that sex is sex. But what is love?

 

The English language being rubbish at emotions does not differentiate between sex and love, but IMO that is significant because IMO "love" is in fact "lust". The desire to stay with someone in a relationship without sex is "friendship". What is described as a "mother's love" for her children is just a genetic imperative to protect her offspring.

Interesting subject, genetics and all that.

[Kadilo]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Man up and tell her not to use the phone while she is with you, and if they are trying to tell you where to go/ what to do it's time to trade her in.

Been there got the t shirt, and wasted baht galore in the meantime. To be honest I would rather party all night and have a w*nk. Most of them have the staying power of an ant. 

[Get Real]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

What's wrong with being a bar man?

Being of the opinion that one is better than another is not a good attribute to have.

I don´t understand when I said that it was more wrong with beeing that? Maybe you can clarify.
Can be an idea to get more read in on how, and why before stating that somebody has a lack of good attribute.

[Lacessit]

On 12/18/2017 at 11:21 AM, MaeJoMTB said:

I'll leave that game to you.

Not interested. Perhaps you have missed the point.

If she's a bar girl, wants money, is she likely to tell you? You won't know until too late, unless you are doing a taste test.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎12‎/‎19‎/‎2017 at 5:05 PM, Get Real said:

I don´t understand when I said that it was more wrong with beeing that? Maybe you can clarify.
Can be an idea to get more read in on how, and why before stating that somebody has a lack of good attribute.

Using the laughing man emoticon is obviously denigrating "barmen".

[theguyfromanotherforum]

I clicked on the link and concluded that any Thai Visa punter could write a better article.