Samsara9 Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 I am hoping someone can give me some advice. My son aged 39 went to Pattaya on a holiday a few years ago and met a girl who said she worked as a dental assistant in Pattaya. I have never been convinced of that as she has since posted photos saying she was a staff member of a hotel in Pattaya. The girl has been on holidays out here and stays with me and my husband. She stays in the bedroom all day while my son works 2 jobs to support her. They have now got married in Australia but she has to go home 3 monthly as they cannot get a permanent visa for her. My son has no money left of a home he sold and made a profit, and they pay no expenses in our home. This girl lives like a queen with new clothes, real Louis Vuitton handbags, shoes and all she wants to do is go away every weekend to hotels and restaurants. She doesn't help in the home. She has an expensive phone and all she seems to do is post selfies and sit on the phone day and night. I have no idea where all the money comes to support her as my son is not on a big income. When she goes home she posts photos of expensive dinners with her Thai friends men and women (none of them work) and weekends away at Resorts in Thailand. They all seem to be living a luxurious life but sleep during the day and party at night My son asked his grandmother for $10,000 for supposedly a visa but I have found they cannot get a visa for her so don't think he was being honest about what the money was for. I have just found out on the internet that this girl is on 2 dating sites seeking men since she married my son and I fear he is being scammed by this girl I cannot talk to him as he won't listen to me and his friends have told him he is being scammed. It is like he has been brainwashed by this girl!! I am unsure what to do as I fear for his mental health and I don't want to interfere as he is an adult but I am so worried where all this is going to end. Can someone advise me please or am I worrying over nothing? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cornishcarlos Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 I can see why you would be genuinely concerned. However, he is an adult and will learn by his own mistakes. Or not ! There is not much you can do if you have tried to talk to him already. Just stand by to pick up the pieces when she bails for someone with money. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theoldgit Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 A very sad but all too common story I'm afraid, I can't imagine the worry and concern for your son that you must be feeling at the moment, I think you have a pretty sure feeling about how your daughter in law must be funding her lifestyle. This forum is for those seeking advice regarding obtaining visas for Thailand, which isn't what you seem to be seeking help with. I'm going to move your post to the "Marriage and Family" forum, and whilst I'm not sure that even that is the best forum there might just be somebody reading it who can give meaningful advice or be able to allay your concerns. Hope it turns out well. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will27 Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 It would help if you explained why she cannot get a permanent visa. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samsara9 Posted February 18, 2018 Author Share Posted February 18, 2018 5 hours ago, theoldgit said: A very sad but all too common story I'm afraid, I can't imagine the worry and concern for your son that you must be feeling at the moment, I think you have a pretty sure feeling about how your daughter in law must be funding her lifestyle. This forum is for those seeking advice regarding obtaining visas for Thailand, which isn't what you seem to be seeking help with. I'm going to move your post to the "Marriage and Family" forum, and whilst I'm not sure that even that is the best forum there might just be somebody reading it who can give meaningful advice or be able to allay your concerns. Hope it turns out well. thank you and I am sorry for posting on the wrong forum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samsara9 Posted February 18, 2018 Author Share Posted February 18, 2018 5 hours ago, Will27 said: It would help if you explained why she cannot get a permanent visa. I don't know why she can't 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will27 Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 8 minutes ago, Samsara9 said: I don't know why she can't Well how do you know she can't get one? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theoldgit Posted February 18, 2018 Share Posted February 18, 2018 Offensive post and response removed.Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post realenglish1 Posted February 20, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted February 20, 2018 Very common for Thai girls to do this They have 3 or 4 guys on the hook and live off this It sounds like your son is one of them Proceed with caution 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post OmarZaid Posted February 20, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted February 20, 2018 I wouldn't have her in my house, son or no son. Hire a PI and present him with the evidence, then have done with them both till he comes to his senses 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamuraii Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 (edited) I'm puling this one out of my ass, where I keep found internet texts. ' If she did not disclose on the visa application, the first thing the consulate folks do is check criminal and marriage records. When they discover the marriage the application will be rejected for "false statements".' She might just tick the box 'married' thats a lie on her part, so she can bounce back and forth ? She's either a convicted criminal, married, on stuck on a ongoing divorce ? Edited February 20, 2018 by Hamuraii 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamuraii Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Kick her out of the house, your enabling this mess, maybe she will just bolt after that, since shes on the street. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KamnanT Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 No desire to be alarmist but one reason she would be ineligible to apply for a Temporary Partner (309) or Permanent Partner (100) visa would be a less than satisfactory police clearance certificate from Thailand - e.g. serious convictions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1337markus Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 This girl lives like a queen with new clothes, real Louis Vuitton handbags, shoes and all she wants to do is go away every weekend to hotels and restaurants. She doesn't help in the home. She has an expensive phone and all she seems to do is post selfies and sit on the phone day and night. I have no idea where all the money comes to support her as my son is not on a big income. She has all the attributes of a real Thai lady, 555555 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wombat Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 41 minutes ago, 1337markus said: This girl lives like a queen with new clothes, real Louis Vuitton handbags, shoes and all she wants to do is go away every weekend to hotels and restaurants. She doesn't help in the home. She has an expensive phone and all she seems to do is post selfies and sit on the phone day and night. I have no idea where all the money comes to support her as my son is not on a big income. She has all the attributes of a real Thai lady, 555555 have you got her facebook profile? just asking like. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnlightenedAtheist Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Someone needs to trap this woman if indeed she is a xxx scammer. Make a profile on the website, meet her in a restaurant (and possibly record the meeting). Present that to the husband as evidence. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wake Up Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 If she acts as you describe then she will be gone when the money is gone. You said your son was trying to borrow money. Please talk with those people that might loan him money and let them know your suspicions and ask them to refrain from loaning him any money. Sad but from your description this is not going to be an easy emotional or financial mistake for your son. Sorry. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murraynz Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 i sympathise with your concerns about your son...you are actualy helping her to "use' him"--free accomadation. how immature is your son??? he should be able to support himself and girlfriend, not bludge off you. however it seems that many men, even much older, seem to have very little common sense when involved with thai women... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dotpoom Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 (edited) On 18/02/2018 at 9:58 AM, cornishcarlos said: I can see why you would be genuinely concerned. However, he is an adult and will learn by his own mistakes. Or not ! There is not much you can do if you have tried to talk to him already. Just stand by to pick up the pieces when she bails for someone with money. Unfortunately I have to agree with the above. It's a very sad situation indeed. I suppose deep down you already know he will have to learn for himself. Important that you continue to care and support him the way you do. He is a very lucky chap, With all his problems, I envy him, he has a loving wonderful mother. .. Edited February 20, 2018 by dotpoom 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
electric Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Could be a more sneaky longer term agenda here. Maybe she's hoping the son will divorce her whilst she's in Australia. Oz Social Security (Centrelink) and Immigration most likely have some attractive and rewarding rescue packages for foreigners "stranded" by their Australian spouse. She certainly won't go hungry. One visit to Centrelink will make sure of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russell17au Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 (edited) There are a couple of things that interest me. 1: Are you sure an application for permanent residents has been lodged. 2: What country was the application lodged in. If there has been an application lodged and it was lodged in Australia then there would be a bridging visa issued, because what ever country the resident visa is made the applicant must be in that country for the approval. She is required to supply a medical certificate which can be done in Australia but the police report must be from her home country. If she has any children even if they are not coming to Australia must also have a medical certificate and a police report From the time of application to the time of approval is approx 10 months and if approved she will be given a temporary residents visa for the first 2 years and then it becomes permanent, if in the time between the application and the end of the 2 year temporary resident visa you son and her separate then your son must notify immigration and her visa is cancelled and she will be returned to Thailand. The first thing that you must find out is if, when and where the application for residency was made. Best of luck to you for being a caring mother Edited February 20, 2018 by Russell17au 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chriss77 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Jeezuz. Fairdinkum. This is frustrating. Are you saying your son was 39 years old a few years ago, now is living with you ? So what. He's about 42 ish, and hasn't sorted his s**t out ?....you dont want to interfere because he is an adult!!!!!!! And you ask a question about " please give me advice or are you worrying about nothing ? You are at fault as much as your tool of a son. Sorry. But i will be honest here...surely this is a joke right ?? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevemercer Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 (edited) As the above poster says, a Thai woman married to an Australian citizen can apply to become a permanent resident. Up to 5 years ago, she could make an application in Australia, but the rules were changed so that she must now make the application in Thailand. This is a routine process and, following a two year period, she will become a permanent resident. After meeting the qualifying period (number of years in Australia) she can apply to become a citizen. The cost, including translations, is about $5,000 Aus. If she is coming and going between Thailand/Australia she must be using 3 month tourist visas (unless she already has the marriage/resident visa. It is a relatively easy and automatic process to get the residency visa assuming she is legally married to your son. Did you attend the wedding so you are sure they are legally married? It is not unusual for Thai ladies to have Thai husbands they have not got around to divorcing yet. Is your son an Australian citizen? If not, there could be difficulties. All the Thai ladies I know jump at the chance to gain residency and work in Australia even in menial jobs (cleaning and Thai restaurants) which are easy to get. I would have thought she would be keen to get a good start in Australia. She is not meant to work on a tourist visa, but that doesn't stop everyone. Maybe she comes from a rich family in Thailand, is used to being treated like a princess and her family give her money? From what you say, she sounds like a player to me. However, as you understand, there is no point in arguing about this with your son. All I would say to him is that it is an automatic process to put in an application for permanent residency (based on marriage). As noted by an above poster, it might take 10 months to get the visa, but Immigration will give her a bridging visa (with the same rights as the permanent visa) once her application has been accepted to cover the waiting period. That means she can get a Medicare Card and work full time etc. I wonder what the problem really is in making the application? Edited February 20, 2018 by Stevemercer 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will27 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 (edited) 51 minutes ago, Russell17au said: There are a couple of things that interest me. 1: Are you sure an application for permanent residents has been lodged. 2: What country was the application lodged in. If there has been an application lodged and it was lodged in Australia then there would be a bridging visa issued, because what ever country the resident visa is made the applicant must be in that country for the approval. She is required to supply a medical certificate which can be done in Australia but the police report must be from her home country. If she has any children even if they are not coming to Australia must also have a medical certificate and a police report From the time of application to the time of approval is approx 10 months and if approved she will be given a temporary residents visa for the first 2 years and then it becomes permanent, if in the time between the application and the end of the 2 year temporary resident visa you son and her separate then your son must notify immigration and her visa is cancelled and she will be returned to Thailand. The first thing that you must find out is if, when and where the application for residency was made. Best of luck to you for being a caring mother That's not correct. His only duty is to inform Immigration about the break up. Immigration will then deal with it. A lot of people apply along the domestic violence route and are allowed to stay. Edited February 20, 2018 by Will27 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will27 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 32 minutes ago, Chriss77 said: Jeezuz. Fairdinkum. This is frustrating. Are you saying your son was 39 years old a few years ago, now is living with you ? So what. He's about 42 ish, and hasn't sorted his s**t out ?....you dont want to interfere because he is an adult!!!!!!! And you ask a question about " please give me advice or are you worrying about nothing ? You are at fault as much as your tool of a son. Sorry. But i will be honest here...surely this is a joke right ?? It sounds dodgy to me. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will27 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 2 minutes ago, Stevemercer said: As the above poster says, a Thai woman married to an Australian citizen can apply to become a permanent resident. Up to 5 years ago, she could make an application in Australia, but the rules were changed so that she must now make the application in Thailand. This is a routine process and, following a two year period, she will become a permanent citizen. The cost, including translations, is about $5,000 Aus. If she is coming and going between Thailand/Australia she must be using 3 month tourist visas (unless she already has the marriage/resident visa. It is a relatively easy and automatic process to get the residency visa assuming she is legally married to your son. Did you attend the wedding so you are sure they are legally married? It is not unusual for Thai ladies to have Thai husbands they have not got around to divorcing yet. Is your son an Australian citizen? If not, there could be difficulties. All the Thai ladies I know jump at the chance to gain residency and work in Australia even in menial jobs (cleaning and Thai restaurants) which are easy to get. I would have thought she would be keen to get a good start in Australia. She is not meant to work on a tourist visa, but that doesn't stop everyone. Maybe she comes from a rich family in Thailand, is used to being treated like a princess and her family give her money? From what you say, she sounds like a player to me. However, as you understand, there is no point in arguing about this with your son. All I would say to him is that it is an automatic process to put in an application for permanent residency (based on marriage). As noted by an above poster, it might take 10 months to get the visa, but Immigration will give her a bridging visa (with the same rights as the permanent visa) once her application has been accepted to cover the waiting period. That means she can get a Medicare Card and work full time etc. I wonder what the problem really is in making the application? Just to clarify a few things. As long as the person doesn't have 8503 (No Further Stay) condition on their visa , they can apply in Australia. After 2 years she will become an Australian Resident, not citizen. As long as her son has PR or citizenship, it doesn't matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevemercer Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 (edited) Thanks for the corrections. A few years back 'No further stay' seemed to be a standard condition in all temporary stay visas, but maybe they have stopped that. In fact you are right. I remember now a friend (Thai female) went to Australia a few years back on a 3 month tourist visa and we were surprised the above condition wasn't in the visa. Anyway, she got married to her Australian boyfriend (met him on the internet a week before she left Thailand), put in a partner application and got a bridging visa until the application was approved. She is now going through the process of bring her Thai children from a previous marriage to Australia. Edited February 20, 2018 by Stevemercer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt Rob Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 4 hours ago, realenglish1 said: Very common for Thai girls to do this They have 3 or 4 guys on the hook and live off this It sounds like your son is one of them Proceed with caution Some years back a friend who operated a very popular bar in Pattaya revealed that it was also common for girls to be receiving support from multiple 'guys' who believed that the girls would not work at the bar, or if they did ( 'to relieve boredom' ) they would not accept to be 'bar fined' ! He found it somewhat entertaining when one of the suitors came home ahead of schedule and the girl would exhibit great dexterity. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laislica Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Mum, you are between a rock and a hard place. To force your son to listen to what he does not want to hear will make you a bad guy to your son and his new wife. OK you are giving free accommodation etc but the new wife does nothing to help. I bet you had expectations of a "Waltons" Happy Family at first but it's turned out to be a "Simsons" dysfunctional family. If it were me, I'd have to have a talk with them both. How long did your son expect free accommodation? What were his plans to be responsible for taking care of a new wife and her children? Is your house big enough to accommodate them all? I'd tell em it's not working out how you expected and you are now stressing about the situation. Have him fully explain the visa process and exactly where they are now and what has to be done next and when do they expect a satisfactory conclusion. Ask what type of work his wife would like to do once she gets the temporary perm to stay. I would ask you son to look for another place to stay with his wife and give him a months notice (and enforce it). In the meantime I would tell them that household chores must be shared and he and his wife must do a fair share. If however, you've made threats like that before and not enforced it, too bad, nothing will change. Worrying won't help. Tackling the problem may even make it worse. But doing nothing is crazy. Rock and a hard place indeed. Best of luck. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russell17au Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 48 minutes ago, Will27 said: That's not correct. His only duty is to inform Immigration about the break up. Immigration will then deal with it. A lot of people apply along the domestic violence route and are allowed to stay. You are correct but only if it is domestic violence, which must be proven before the courts or for any other reason it is visa cancellation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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