Visiting wife's family

[MaeJoMTB]

54 minutes ago, 0815 said:

After being married to a Thai for 10 years, one should be able to communicate in her language ???

But which 'her language'? my wife speaks one language (village Laos) with her mother, another language with her father (village Lanna), and I speak English and CM Thai (town Lanna) with her, our children, and our neighbors. In either of her parents villages (one near Nan and the other near Phetchabun) she doesn't speak any language I can understand, and nor does anyone else.

Edited May 4, 2018 by MaeJoMTB

[Andrew Dwyer]

My gf's mother lives about 3 hr drive from us, i don't mind visiting too much but around 6pm i start to swat imaginary mosquitoes and that's usually the cue for me to retire to the local resort for some "me" time. !

[Here It Is]

As always surely there's a compromise, that's what marriage is all about, isn't it?

 

Could the OP stretch to a few days in the boonies, pay his respects and return to BKK ahead of time?  Then everyone's happy, aren't they?

 

 

Edited May 4, 2018 by Here It Is

[DipStick]

16 hours ago, scorecard said:

 

OK, but don't be surprised when we get the post to mention that the farang mistakenly put his hand on his own electrified fence and he fried in 20 seconds. 

 

San num naa.

 

 

 

I think you will find there is a huge difference between an electric gate and an electrified fence !

[Antonymous]

6 hours ago, 0815 said:

Are you sure that you live in the right country ?

 

After 30 years living in Thailand it is the right country for me. What about you?

 

Everyone’s circumstances are different. There seem to be plenty of foreigners married into Thai families that are wealthier than they are, or at least on a par, for example. In such cases the dynamics can be different. In our case when the rich farang SIL arrives at the poor in-laws family home it can cause consternation among the ‘extended family’ of distant relatives, neighbours and other hangers on. This can be uncomfortable for the parents and leads to all kinds of problems for them during and soon after the visit as requests for financial assistance pour in, or snide remarks like “why hasn’t your daughter bought you x, y and z … now that you’ve got a rich SIL”. Why invite such pressure?

 

My wife and her immediate family decided by themselves that it would be better for all concerned if I didn’t visit them at their home and that suited me absolutely fine. And meanwhile she dresses down and blends right in on her solo visits. Instead I pay for them to fly from one end of the country to the other and I pamper them when they are at my home. They love it. Everyone happy.

[Here It Is]

3 minutes ago, Antonymous said:

My wife and her immediate family decided by themselves that it would be better for all concerned if I didn’t visit them at their home and that suited me absolutely fine. And meanwhile she dresses down and blends right in on her solo visits. Instead I pay for them to fly from one end of the country to the other and I pamper them when they are at my home. They love it. Everyone happy.

That's great for you but there's no one size fits all and your post is probably going slightly leftfield from the OP's original post.

[Antonymous]

2 minutes ago, Here It Is said:

That's great for you but there's no one size fits all and your post is probably going slightly leftfield from the OP's original post.

I guess I as thinking that the OP and anyone in his circumstances may consider doing the same: send wife for home visits alone and invite parents to visit him. Doesn't seem left field to me.

[Here It Is]

1 minute ago, Antonymous said:

I guess I as thinking that the OP and anyone in his circumstances may consider doing the same: send wife for home visits alone and invite parents to visit him. Doesn't seem left field to me.

No, definitely leftfield.  Please read the original OP, with all due respect.

 

Your situation is a million miles away from the OP's.  He didn't mention anything about rich falang and staying away because of hangers on, extended families financial assistance, the rich SIL or the family being wealthier than him.  That's leftfield, my friend.

[Antonymous]

5 minutes ago, Here It Is said:

No, definitely leftfield.  Please read the original OP, with all due respect.

 

Your situation is a million miles away from the OP's.  He didn't mention anything about rich falang and staying away because of hangers on, extended families financial assistance, the rich SIL or the family being wealthier than him.  That's leftfield, my friend.

I don't know why I have offended you. With respect, the OP wanted a way out of the 'absolute boredom' of visiting the in laws at their home. Other posters concurred with this feeling. I have offered a solution that would fit the OP's dilemma if he chose to follow it. Much less chance that he will get bored when he is at his own home.

[Here It Is]

21 minutes ago, Antonymous said:

I don't know why I have offended you. With respect, the OP wanted a way out of the 'absolute boredom' of visiting the in laws at their home. Other posters concurred with this feeling. I have offered a solution that would fit the OP's dilemma if he chose to follow it. Much less chance that he will get bored when he is at his own home.

Not offended at all and apologies if you felt offended, Antonymous.  Just that you went completely leftfield that didn't in anyway relate to the OP's request for assistance.

[Here It Is]

23 minutes ago, Antonymous said:

I have offered a solution that would fit the OP's dilemma if he chose to follow it. Much less chance that he will get bored when he is at his own home.

As I mentioned in my earlier post, much better to compromise with our lovely wives.  We can't have it all our own way.

 

As you know, marry a Thai then marry the family.  We just have to mix it up occasionally so everyone's happy.  

 

The OP is obviously feeling slightly guilty but wants to find a middle way.  It surely can't be don't visit at all?