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Posted
14 hours ago, meatboy said:

don't break the dogs heart,take her with you,or stay where you are.you got 6months,so don't delay make your plans NOW.

if you leave her,you will never forgive yourself,and maybe never get a good nights sleep.

just a reminder in case you FORGOT,she promised you,

TO LOVE,

HONOUR,AND OBEY.

WHICH SHE HAS DONE.

  • Like 1
Posted
9 minutes ago, Katia said:

The problem is that OP's issue is that the dog's life in the U.S. will be a rather restricted one, confined to a small apartment with little space to run as she is used to doing.  OP is considering her quality of life in the U.S. when deciding whether to take her; it's not about not wanting her, so the guilt trip is probably not necessary.

some advice from a dog lover for the OP,such a beautyfull girl,you promised to love her "TILL DEATH DO US PART".

Posted

I understand your reluctance about leaving her behind - and the restrictions you think you and she will both encounter if you take her to be part of your new life. What about a compromise - take her with you but look to rehome her in the US where you can be more confident that she is receiving the love and attention that you clearly want her to have? You cannot guarantee that circumstances won't change for the new owner, but you can still maintain contact and be there to help out if something does necessitate her being rehomed again in the future.

  • Thanks 1
Posted
21 hours ago, meatboy said:

don't break the dogs heart,take her with you,or stay where you are.you got 6months,so don't delay make your plans NOW.

if you leave her,you will never forgive yourself,and maybe never get a good nights sleep.

 

Please explain how your assumed heartbreak for a dog re-homed works with guide dogs, all of which are brought up by a trainer before being rehoused.

 

It is quite clear that dogs normally forget about their old owners, in fact it is so unusual that they don't forget that when they don't we hear the stories told again and again, it is actually newsworthy it is so unusual, the vast majority don't care at all, they just want to be treated well by whoever it may be.

  • Like 2
Posted
1 hour ago, Arjen said:

I have thirteen dogs running around. 

 

And yes, I am a dog fanatic. I guess you feel that is wrong.....

 

Arjen.

 

 

Why anyone would want 13 dogs running about is beyond me. What do you neighbours think about you dogs barking, the smell form the poop, urine etc? 

 

But it's only wrong when the animals suffer.  It might be a couple extra dogs for you and it tips you over the edge... into an animal hoarder. You already invited the OP the message you if they can't take the dog!

 

Have you seen those programmes on TV where an dirty, elderly and mentally ill person lives in a filthy house with dozens and dozens of dogs, cats, birds etc. These people usually have no friends and thee animals are their lives.

 

They all claim they LOVE their animals and all say they can't part with a single one.  Apparently they think the animals are happy and want to stay with them in those conditions.  And you are saying that dogs would rather put up with stress, confinement and poor conditions like that just so they can love their owner?  

 

 

 

 

  • Like 2
Posted
17 hours ago, Kieran00001 said:

 

Please explain how your assumed heartbreak for a dog re-homed works with guide dogs, all of which are brought up by a trainer before being rehoused.

 

It is quite clear that dogs normally forget about their old owners, in fact it is so unusual that they don't forget that when they don't we hear the stories told again and again, it is actually newsworthy it is so unusual, the vast majority don't care at all, they just want to be treated well by whoever it may be.

I am not going to reply to the above,[argumentive members who are making thai visa not what it used to be.this was brought to the attention of all concerned and   was posted last week that certain members are posting just to start an argument]

Posted
On 09/05/2018 at 9:50 AM, Arjen said:

Dogs love, and love hould be spelled with big Capitals LOVE

 

their owner. There is nothing , no one who can come between you and your dog. Even suffering to live in a small appartment, but with you, makes the dog happy.

 

And I do not know anything about dogs. I do not have one dog, I never had a dog. Do what makes you feel happy, try to make feel your dog happy to bring him with you....

 

Oh, I forgot, I have one dog. He is everywhere I am going, when I walk to my car, he is inside the car before I open the door. I am sure when he staid home it is much better for him. But he wants to be with me. 

 

There is a (not really funny) joke. How to test real love:  Lock your dog and your wife in the trunk from your car. Open the trunk after one hour. The happy one shows real love.....

 

But..... In case you really do not have a change to take your dog with you, please send me a PM.

 

Arjen.

 

Quote

There is a (not really funny) joke. How to test real love:  Lock your dog and your wife in the trunk from your car. Open the trunk after one hour. The happy one shows real love.....

 

That would actually be a test of dependence, love has nothing to do with a dog accepting ill treatment.

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Posted

The guide dog point is a good point. I have a friend who has lived with a puppy in training and recently it was time to move on. She was more sad than the dog, as the dog has happily fitted into a new family.

Few breeds have difficulties changing owners. Your standard modern breed, that is well socialised, should have no problems settling into a new home. I say modern, as most dogs do not fit into the description Google gives anymore as the majority of lines aren't working. Most lines today have been adapted to be more socially acceptable/friendly (aiding re homing).

The dog is far worse off and more unhappy if it has to live in a confided space with its original owner, than in a big space with an owner who is just as loving. Personally, I feel that is a selfish view from the owner. That is, not giving the chance for a dog to have the best life it can just because it will make you sad not being with it. The dog will move on and be just as happy. You may not, but again it is the dog that matters here, not the person. 

Even dogs that are considered the hardest to re-home, so working guardian type breeds, can be successfully re-homed if the new family has experience and understands what needs to be done. It obviously takes many months, but can be done. 

*But yes, don't get a dog if you aren't prepared to be with it until it dies or if you don't have the space/means for it to live a quality life. 

Posted
9 hours ago, Arjen said:

WW, I agree fully with you on this.

 

I know very well that dogs are very fast used to a new owner. And I also know very well that they do not suffer when they move to an other owner. (We have quite a lot of dogs running around, all "left overs"  from other owners.

 

But...... A dog would never exchange his owner for an other owner. The dog simple obeys the first owner. Ad why so many people, (and I am not talking about OP) just "take" a dog, (or a bird, or a cat, or a turtle) and as soon as something change in live, they get rid of the animal they choose. 

 

Many moons back I was without a job, and needed one urgently. I cancelled a few promising ones because the job (and the new live what belonged to it) did not fit with the two very old dogs I had at that moment. So I had many temporally jobs. And when those two dogs died, I very soon had a "real" job.

 

I do not say say that this should be the "norm"/ But on the other hand the way so many people "take" animal, I really can not understand. What do they do with their children? or with their partner?

 

Regards, Arjen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry Arjen, posted in wrong thread

Posted
9 hours ago, Arjen said:

WW, I agree fully with you on this.

 

I know very well that dogs are very fast used to a new owner. And I also know very well that they do not suffer when they move to an other owner. (We have quite a lot of dogs running around, all "left overs"  from other owners.

 

But...... A dog would never exchange his owner for an other owner. The dog simple obeys the first owner. Ad why so many people, (and I am not talking about OP) just "take" a dog, (or a bird, or a cat, or a turtle) and as soon as something change in live, they get rid of the animal they choose. 

 

Many moons back I was without a job, and needed one urgently. I cancelled a few promising ones because the job (and the new live what belonged to it) did not fit with the two very old dogs I had at that moment. So I had many temporally jobs. And when those two dogs died, I very soon had a "real" job.

 

I do not say say that this should be the "norm"/ But on the other hand the way so many people "take" animal, I really can not understand. What do they do with their children? or with their partner?

 

Regards, Arjen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

People buy dogs for various stupid reasons. Impulse buys, they feel lonely, think a dog is a must to have this imaginary 'white picket fence' perfect household, or these days even for social media. I know someone back in Australia whose dogs have millions of subscribers now. 

My thinking is if you are worried about the price of bread going up one baht (as many people are on this forum), or the weather, or the exchange rate then don't buy a dog. As chances are you are umming and ahhing about whether you want to continue living here or not. 

 

I can relate to a lot of what you said. I have been here almost 3 years now with no trips back because of the dogs. I wont be leaving the country until they die. When they do die, the Mrs and I will sit down and map out a 10 year plan before buying anymore dogs. I have also massaged my boss in such a way I get a 2 hour lunch break each day to come home and see the kids and dogs. 

I was thinking about it, and even if I could change my mindset, I really don't think I could find anyone who would be successful in re-homing my dogs anyway. They would probably have to be moved together, both 50kg+, both guardians so notoriously hard to bond to new families. One is incredibly people and dog aggressive, so would take someone having huge courage and patience (without having any pre-existing dogs). The other is great, but acceptance comes on her terms, not the persons. So again, the person would really need to know what they are doing. She remembers one guy who visits from Finland who knows dogs once a year, but will not let an uncle who visits once a month pass the front gate purely as the first meeting was bad energy/fake confidence from him. 

  • Like 1
Posted
13 minutes ago, wildewillie89 said:

People buy dogs for various stupid reasons. Impulse buys, they feel lonely, think a dog is a must to have this imaginary 'white picket fence' perfect household, or these days even for social media. I know someone back in Australia whose dogs have millions of subscribers now. 

My thinking is if you are worried about the price of bread going up one baht (as many people are on this forum), or the weather, or the exchange rate then don't buy a dog. As chances are you are umming and ahhing about whether you want to continue living here or not. 

 

I can relate to a lot of what you said. I have been here almost 3 years now with no trips back because of the dogs. I wont be leaving the country until they die. When they do die, the Mrs and I will sit down and map out a 10 year plan before buying anymore dogs. I have also massaged my boss in such a way I get a 2 hour lunch break each day to come home and see the kids and dogs. 

I was thinking about it, and even if I could change my mindset, I really don't think I could find anyone who would be successful in re-homing my dogs anyway. They would probably have to be moved together, both 50kg+, both guardians so notoriously hard to bond to new families. One is incredibly people and dog aggressive, so would take someone having huge courage and patience (without having any pre-existing dogs). The other is great, but acceptance comes on her terms, not the persons. So again, the person would really need to know what they are doing. She remembers one guy who visits from Finland who knows dogs once a year, but will not let an uncle who visits once a month pass the front gate purely as the first meeting was bad energy/fake confidence from him. 

A thoughtful,intelligent post.

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Posted

I just showed my wife this post and asked if she wanted another dog as we have 2 golden retriever bitches one younger and one older than your dog and we live by the beach.  She told me no sorry .........

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Posted
21 hours ago, Arjen said:

WW, I agree fully with you on this.

 

I know very well that dogs are very fast used to a new owner. And I also know very well that they do not suffer when they move to an other owner. (We have quite a lot of dogs running around, all "left overs"  from other owners.

 

But...... A dog would never exchange his owner for an other owner. The dog simple obeys the first owner. Ad why so many people, (and I am not talking about OP) just "take" a dog, (or a bird, or a cat, or a turtle) and as soon as something change in live, they get rid of the animal they choose. 

 

Many moons back I was without a job, and needed one urgently. I cancelled a few promising ones because the job (and the new live what belonged to it) did not fit with the two very old dogs I had at that moment. So I had many temporally jobs. And when those two dogs died, I very soon had a "real" job.

 

I do not say say that this should be the "norm"/ But on the other hand the way so many people "take" animal, I really can not understand. What do they do with their children? or with their partner?

 

Regards, Arjen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I know very well that dogs are very fast used to a new owner. And I also know very well that they do not suffer when they move to an other owner. (We have quite a lot of dogs running around, all "left overs"  from other owners."

 

It depends on the bond between dog and 'owner'.

 

My much-missed and loved whippet refused to eat for a few days when I visited my mum (even though my husband was still there), and ate little for the remaining 10 day period....  Similarly, when I lost him for a few days (long story), he was fortunately found by a lovely couple who took care of him and saw one of my 'lost dog adverts'.  They told me that he had remained curled up on a bed they'd hastily made for him, with no interest in anything :sad:.

Posted
1 hour ago, dick dasterdly said:

"I know very well that dogs are very fast used to a new owner. And I also know very well that they do not suffer when they move to an other owner. (We have quite a lot of dogs running around, all "left overs"  from other owners."

 

It depends on the bond between dog and 'owner'.

 

My much-missed and loved whippet refused to eat for a few days when I visited my mum (even though my husband was still there), and ate little for the remaining 10 day period....  Similarly, when I lost him for a few days (long story), he was fortunately found by a lovely couple who took care of him and saw one of my 'lost dog adverts'.  They told me that he had remained curled up on a bed they'd hastily made for him, with no interest in anything :sad:.

According to the American Whippet Club, a percentage of whippets do suffer separation anxiety, and it is one of the major reasons that young whippets are re-homed. I used to have a friend who had a whippet, the dog ended up having to live with the mother due to such issues when he worked during the day time. From memory it comes down to genetics and/or upbringing. 

  • Like 2
Posted
20 hours ago, wildewillie89 said:

According to the American Whippet Club, a percentage of whippets do suffer separation anxiety, and it is one of the major reasons that young whippets are re-homed. I used to have a friend who had a whippet, the dog ended up having to live with the mother due to such issues when he worked during the day time. From memory it comes down to genetics and/or upbringing. 

Except he didn't suffer separation anxiety, I could go out without any problems at all.

 

It was only when he realised I wasn't coming back (presumably because he was being fed by someone else), that he became upset, worried and moped.

Posted
3 hours ago, dick dasterdly said:

Except he didn't suffer separation anxiety, I could go out without any problems at all.

 

It was only when he realised I wasn't coming back (presumably because he was being fed by someone else), that he became upset, worried and moped.

This is a bit of a long waffle, but something that interested me.

Exactly - he realised he was being fed by someone else. Thus a change in routine that caused symptoms of separation anxiety. Whippets in general get very attached to their owners, but at the same time love new people also, what the American Whippet Club call 'Excessive Greeting Disorder' - when 'owners' or visitors come over (why they make useless watch dogs generally). WRAP (Whippet Rescue and Placement) state that some Whippets have separation anxiety symptoms with one owner, but when placed in a house hold with many more people in it or more dogs in it, the symptoms 'magically disappear'. The actual 'owner/bond' isn't what the dog misses as such, it is just the routine or having enough people/dogs about to distract the side effects of a disruption to the routine. Of course, takes a short time for any dog to be at complete ease in a new home until the new routine is formed. 

Very few dogs create such bonds that we see in the movies. It is a nice thought us owners like to have, but on the most part the vast majority of breeds/bonds are just not like this. It is a developed thought we have from literature (books, isolated stories, movies etc), not actually a true sense of reality. Rescue groups prove this. It is like how many people think their dog will give their life for them, when in reality maybe 1% of dogs actually would stand up for their owners when challenged (the fake intruder tests show this). We hear/watch isolated and heart warming stories, we go out and give our dogs a big cuddle, and that emotion warps our views of reality. 

Even something like a Fila Brasileiro, one of, or if not, the most loyal breed of dog that Brazil has even  proverbs made after it ('as faithful as a fila'), and has made it the national dog can be re-homed with the right people. This is probably the only dog breed in the world that has a natural temperament of not only a dislike of being touched, but outward hatred/aggression to every person with a certain distance of him. No amount of socialisation/training will prevent this (ojeriza) completely - only mixing/breeding softer lines. Only the bond with its direct family can change the chemical reaction in its brain to convert aggression into complete submission. People who do not understand the breed, but stupidly own one, cannot enter new romantic relationships if the dog is in the house as the dog will attack the new person. It may take a month for the dog to get used to a new person, but if they stay away for a month, they have to start the month process over again. But even such strong instincts can be re-homed successfully with the right people with the dog living a happy life. Hence, why earlier I said modern, or friendly breeds are generally super easy to re-home once the new routine is formed and the dog is much better off. Guardians, slightly harder/longer but by no means not impossible. Growing up, my family used to be a part of a Maremma Sheepdog rescue group back home. One dog took us 3 weeks of constant work just to let us touch his head without snapping, but as soon as he regarded us as his new flock, he lived a happy life and never snapped again. 

My 10 week old Fila puppy took 24 hours of me sitting next to him in front of the sofa. If I ever tried to touch him he would growl (no confidence to attack at that age). Imagine it, a 10 week old puppy showing such natural aggression. I literally had to sleep sitting up with him next to me, only leave to go to the toilet. After 24 hours he completely changed. He wouldn't leave my side, if I moved to the next sofa cushion, he would get up and move also. One paw always on my foot. It was the same with the Filas interaction with the Caucasian. A 10 week old puppy growling/standing up to a giant guardian. The same time period. that growl changed to following her everywhere. My Thai cousin also has one. He was of the belief complete socialisation will stop this so he exposed the dog to literally everything. I told him socialisation helps the dog know what proportion of attack to use, but doesn't stop attacks if the variables are there. He didn't believe me. The dogs instincts kicked in at about 8 months (different line from mine). He didn't realise, and was at work. So what he thought was a friendly dog accepting of strangers at home, went into a working dog and bit 2 people who entered the yard. 

First vet visit (same age), vet nurse tried to worm him, he didn't allow it with a deep growl. Only accepted if I wormed him. He will accept my command of leave it/wait, if someone is walking past, however if people get into our space he will attack. He is a working line dog, bred to do a job. However, obviously he can be re-homed by the right people regardless of all of this. 

  • Like 1
Posted
On 5/20/2018 at 10:15 AM, dick dasterdly said:

"I know very well that dogs are very fast used to a new owner. And I also know very well that they do not suffer when they move to an other owner. (We have quite a lot of dogs running around, all "left overs"  from other owners."

 

It depends on the bond between dog and 'owner'.

 

My much-missed and loved whippet refused to eat for a few days when I visited my mum (even though my husband was still there), and ate little for the remaining 10 day period....  Similarly, when I lost him for a few days (long story), he was fortunately found by a lovely couple who took care of him and saw one of my 'lost dog adverts'.  They told me that he had remained curled up on a bed they'd hastily made for him, with no interest in anything :sad:.

 

38 minutes ago, wildewillie89 said:

This is a bit of a long waffle, but something that interested me.

Exactly - he realised he was being fed by someone else. Thus a change in routine that caused symptoms of separation anxiety. Whippets in general get very attached to their owners, but at the same time love new people also, what the American Whippet Club call 'Excessive Greeting Disorder' - when 'owners' or visitors come over (why they make useless watch dogs generally). WRAP (Whippet Rescue and Placement) state that some Whippets have separation anxiety symptoms with one owner, but when placed in a house hold with many more people in it or more dogs in it, the symptoms 'magically disappear'. The actual 'owner/bond' isn't what the dog misses as such, it is just the routine or having enough people/dogs about to distract the side effects of a disruption to the routine. Of course, takes a short time for any dog to be at complete ease in a new home until the new routine is formed. 

Very few dogs create such bonds that we see in the movies. It is a nice thought us owners like to have, but on the most part the vast majority of breeds/bonds are just not like this. It is a developed thought we have from literature (books, isolated stories, movies etc), not actually a true sense of reality. Rescue groups prove this. It is like how many people think their dog will give their life for them, when in reality maybe 1% of dogs actually would stand up for their owners when challenged (the fake intruder tests show this). We hear/watch isolated and heart warming stories, we go out and give our dogs a big cuddle, and that emotion warps our views of reality. 

Even something like a Fila Brasileiro, one of, or if not, the most loyal breed of dog that Brazil has even  proverbs made after it ('as faithful as a fila'), and has made it the national dog can be re-homed with the right people. This is probably the only dog breed in the world that has a natural temperament of not only a dislike of being touched, but outward hatred/aggression to every person with a certain distance of him. No amount of socialisation/training will prevent this (ojeriza) completely - only mixing/breeding softer lines. Only the bond with its direct family can change the chemical reaction in its brain to convert aggression into complete submission. People who do not understand the breed, but stupidly own one, cannot enter new romantic relationships if the dog is in the house as the dog will attack the new person. It may take a month for the dog to get used to a new person, but if they stay away for a month, they have to start the month process over again. But even such strong instincts can be re-homed successfully with the right people with the dog living a happy life. Hence, why earlier I said modern, or friendly breeds are generally super easy to re-home once the new routine is formed and the dog is much better off. Guardians, slightly harder/longer but by no means not impossible. Growing up, my family used to be a part of a Maremma Sheepdog rescue group back home. One dog took us 3 weeks of constant work just to let us touch his head without snapping, but as soon as he regarded us as his new flock, he lived a happy life and never snapped again. 

My 10 week old Fila puppy took 24 hours of me sitting next to him in front of the sofa. If I ever tried to touch him he would growl (no confidence to attack at that age). Imagine it, a 10 week old puppy showing such natural aggression. I literally had to sleep sitting up with him next to me, only leave to go to the toilet. After 24 hours he completely changed. He wouldn't leave my side, if I moved to the next sofa cushion, he would get up and move also. One paw always on my foot. It was the same with the Filas interaction with the Caucasian. A 10 week old puppy growling/standing up to a giant guardian. The same time period. that growl changed to following her everywhere. My Thai cousin also has one. He was of the belief complete socialisation will stop this so he exposed the dog to literally everything. I told him socialisation helps the dog know what proportion of attack to use, but doesn't stop attacks if the variables are there. He didn't believe me. The dogs instincts kicked in at about 8 months (different line from mine). He didn't realise, and was at work. So what he thought was a friendly dog accepting of strangers at home, went into a working dog and bit 2 people who entered the yard. 

First vet visit (same age), vet nurse tried to worm him, he didn't allow it with a deep growl. Only accepted if I wormed him. He will accept my command of leave it/wait, if someone is walking past, however if people get into our space he will attack. He is a working line dog, bred to do a job. However, obviously he can be re-homed by the right people regardless of all of this. 

I was taking issue with the statement "I know very well that dogs are very fast used to a new owner. And I also know very well that they do not suffer when they move to an other owner" - and pointing out that it depends on the bond between dog and 'owner'.

 

Every now and again my husband would feed our pets (including our whippet), and this wasn't a problem - as long as I was around.  He also had no problem with my husband taking him for a walk - although this happened infrequently.  So it wasn't due to a change in routine.

 

Agree entirely that "Whippets in general get very attached to their owners, but at the same time love new people also, what the American Whippet Club call 'Excessive Greeting Disorder' - when 'owners' or visitors come over (why they make useless watch dogs generally)."   He loved to greet everyone by jumping up at them, but quickly became bored and came back to me/went back to sleep on the sofa.  Happy memories.

 

In short, I have no doubt that even my beloved whippet could have eventually settled down with a new owner, (who understood the sensitivity of whippets), but it wouldn't have happened quickly or easily.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Many thanks to everyone taking the time to post, the comments have really given me a lot to think about and now thinking to take my dog with me, like people said, crappy future place, but with the owner. Makes a lot of sense.

Thanks to all again

  • Like 2
Posted

Another thing to think about: if you will be having to rent in the U.S., start looking at listings now and see what pet policies look like.  Where I'm from, at least, it's getting increasingly hard to find an apartment that will allow pets at all, let alone without charging exorbitant fees (both deposits on move-in-- usually nonrefundable even if there is no damage done-- and "pet rent" each month).  The market for people with pets keeps getting worse and worse as the years pass.  Trying to find a place that will allow a large dog, is going to be difficult indeed even if money is no object (that is to say, even if you can choose from every apartment on the market without being further limited by rent price).  It would not be good to drag the dog back to the U.S., only to find that your choice is to re-home her anyway, or have the whole family be homeless.

 

The other thing is... will she be restless stuck in an apartment when she is used to being outside all the time?  Will this make her destructive or bark all day?  This could get you evicted as well.

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