Why do most Thai people never reply back with “and you?” when you ask them “how are you?”

[afsheen]

Hello, 

 

So has anyone else noticed this about Thai people?

 

When you ask them “how are you?” then most Thai people will just answer “fine” or “I’m fine” and that’s it , they don’t reply “and you?” or “im fine how about you?” like everyone else in the world would do , but thai people rarely do it.

 

Even when you ask them in thai language “Sabai dee mai” they just answer “Sabai dee” but not “Sabai dee, Khun la?” 

 

I asked my friend who’s also living in Thailand if he also noticed this about Thai people , that they rarely reply back with “and you? “ when you ask them “how are you ?” And my friend noticed this exact same phenomenon about Thai people.

 

ofcourse not all Thai people reply in this rude way when they are asked “how are you” but most Thai people do reply like this rude and carefree , they don’t ask in return like “I’m fine how about you?”

 

why do you thai people do this? I’m not trying to be mean at all with this thread but I’m genuinely curious as to why thai people answers in this rude manner, just “im fine “ . Where’s the “and you ? “ ???

 

I hope a Thai person can explain this to me because I find it very strange , I mean all over the world everyone knows that you should answer “and you?” Or “how about you?” but most Thai people don’t understand this basic polite manners.

 

both me and my friend have lived in Thailand for 2 years and we both noticed this rudeness of not answering “and you?many times , both when we talked to thai people in the line app and in outside in real life.

 

 

[observer90210]

Interesting observation.

 

I have noticed some people here in Europe who plainly do not answer  "I'm fine"  (or similar), when you ask them "how are you?"...

They straighforwardly and sharply just sprout out ... "and you?"...almost as if they felt dominated when somebody is plainly asking how they are doing.

 

So consequently, I find it rather strange (and a pinch agressive)  when people don't answer they are fine or such and just jump and say "and you?".

 

Thus, I find the Thai interaction more civil, polite and obviously a bit shy. IMHO

Edited May 16, 2018 by observer90210

[jackdd]

Because Thais usually don't ask this in Thai, so they are not used to it.

We westerners are used to the "Hi, how are you? Hi, fine thanks, and you?" since we are born, Thais are not

Just pay attention to how Thais greet each other when they meet, or have a look at how your Thai GF starts conversations in Facebook or Line with her friends

Edited May 16, 2018 by jackdd

[grollies]

It's because you are farang. 90% of the time friends and relatives I ask 'sabai dee mai krup?' respond 'sabai dee (kaa or krup) and follow it up with 'sabai dee mai?'

 

But to new aquaintences, Thai people will take your question at face value and tell you they are ok.

 

But don't get too upset if someone doesn't ask back, this is not a Thai thing, I've been guilty of it myself, mainly from people I know who are trying to trap you into a conversation about their own health and the result can be an extremely boring chat about their ailments.....unless that is your motive?

[grollies]

4 minutes ago, jackdd said:

Because Thais usually don't ask this in Thai, so they are not used to it

Not my experience, most friends and family ask me and my wife.

[poanoi]

for me its the other way around, i get asked how i am,

i have no idea why i am asked, i answer OK and hope thats the end of the discussion

[pearciderman]

21 minutes ago, grollies said:

It's because you are farang.

 

How did you tell that he was a caucasian westerner from his post?

[afsheen]

49 minutes ago, grollies said:

Not my experience, most friends and family ask me and my wife.

 

But I don’t mean only thai strangers that I just met, I also mean thai people that I have been friends with and known them for a long time they still just reply “im fine” but not “im fine and you?”

 

I find it so strange I really hope a thai person see this thread and can explain 

 

One time on the line app when a thai person answered the carefree and rude “im fine” to my “how are you question” I replied “im fine too thanks” because I thought I could remind her to be more polite and maybe letting her know in a discreet way that she forgot the “and you?” then she got even more rude and said to me “I didn’t ask 555”

 

 

Edited May 16, 2018 by afsheen

[afsheen]

15 minutes ago, pearciderman said:

 

How did you tell that he was a caucasian westerner from his post?

 

I am Iranian so i dont think it counts as a “farang” :)

 

[afsheen]

26 minutes ago, poanoi said:

for me its the other way around, i get asked how i am,

i have no idea why i am asked, i answer OK and hope thats the end of the discussion

Exactly I heard the just “ok” many times aswell 

 

why is it so hard for you thai people to be polite and ask the person in return “ im okay how about you? or just a simple “fine and you?”

 

or are you thais not aware of how rude it is to not answer “and you?” In return? is it a thai culture thing?

Edited May 16, 2018 by afsheen

[KittenKong]

It's not rudeness. They simply don't care how you are.

[afsheen]

9 minutes ago, KittenKong said:

It's not rudeness. They simply don't care how you are.

That is litteraly the definition of rudeness. Its a lack of basic human decency. 

 

Even if they don’t care they should still understand some basic human decency to ask back, I mean all over the world people understand this instinctively but Thais don’t seem to get it sadly :/

 

I like thai people in general I think they are good people but this lack of basic mannerisms makes me kinda disappointed about Thai people.

 

Edited May 16, 2018 by afsheen

[kev1n]

They don't ask you because you're always looking fabulous ka !

[mauGR1]

Not only Thais, but so many rude people around everywhere.

You can partially excuse the younger generations, but i would expect a little more from grown-ups.

Just the other day, i had a brief exchange of messages with an ex girl friend from homecountry.

In the last message she said: How are you ? Bye !

I was baffled, i found that to be so shockingly rude...

[poanoi]

23 minutes ago, afsheen said:

Exactly I heard the just “ok” many times aswell 

 

why is it so hard for you thai people to be polite and ask the person in return “ im okay how about you? or just a simple “fine and you?”

 

or are you thais not aware of how rude it is to not answer “and you?” In return? is it a thai culture thing?

i'm not thai, i just dont want to talk with you or in any other way interact,

its not personal, i prefer to be left alone

and hope you would respect that and not hassle with me any more.

 

ed its mostly thais asking how i am,

i wish y'all just leave me alone,

why do you ask anyway ?

Edited May 16, 2018 by poanoi

[norrska]

1 hour ago, afsheen said:

Hello, 

 

So has anyone else noticed this about Thai people?

 

When you ask them “how are you?” then most Thai people will just answer “fine” or “I’m fine” and that’s it , they don’t reply “and you?” or “im fine how about you?” like everyone else in the world would do , but thai people rarely do it.

 

Even when you ask them in thai language “Sabai dee mai” they just answer “Sabai dee” but not “Sabai dee, Khun la?” 

 

I asked my friend who’s also living in Thailand if he also noticed this about Thai people , that they rarely reply back with “and you? “ when you ask them “how are you ?” And my friend noticed this exact same phenomenon about Thai people.

 

ofcourse not all Thai people reply in this rude way when they are asked “how are you” but most Thai people do reply like this rude and carefree , they don’t ask in return like “I’m fine how about you?”

 

why do you thai people do this? I’m not trying to be mean at all with this thread but I’m genuinely curious as to why thai people answers in this rude manner, just “im fine “ . Where’s the “and you ? “ ???

 

I hope a Thai person can explain this to me because I find it very strange , I mean all over the world everyone knows that you should answer “and you?” Or “how about you?” but most Thai people don’t understand this basic polite manners.

 

both me and my friend have lived in Thailand for 2 years and we both noticed this rudeness of not answering “and you?many times , both when we talked to thai people in the line app and in outside in real life.

Whoever wrote this knows nothing about foreign cultures outside his/her own.  Why would they expect that a stranger should provide them with an answer to this very personal question.  Go back to your country please and do not return!

[afsheen]

1 minute ago, mauGR1 said:

Not only Thais, but so many rude people around everywhere.

You can partially excuse the younger generations, but i would expect a little more from grown-ups.

Just the other day, i had a brief exchange of messages with an ex girl friend from homecountry.

In the last message she said: How are you ? Bye !

I was baffled, i found that to be so shockingly rude...

 

I feel you bro it’s sad what has happened to people of this world :/

 

Sometimes I start a friendly conversation with a thai girl on the line app and I say “hi how are you?” and they don’t even reply with “hi” or hello” . Just one word “fine” and nothing more , so rude!! :/

[afsheen]

1 minute ago, norrska said:

Whoever wrote this knows nothing about foreign cultures outside his/her own.  Why would they expect that a stranger should provide them with an answer to this very personal question.  Go back to your country please and do not return!

I had a feeling that some people like you would reply in this arrogant and conceited way to my thread before I wrote it, and now it’s confirmed.

 

what do you even get from being this arrogant? does talking bad to other people make you happy?

[mauGR1]

2 minutes ago, afsheen said:

 

I feel you bro it’s sad what has happened to people of this world :/

 

Sometimes I start a friendly conversation with a thai girl on the line app and I say “hi how are you?” and they don’t even reply with “hi” or hello” . Just one word “fine” and nothing more , so rude!! :/

Thanks, i have to say though, that if you chat online with unknown people, in a language that is not their own, you can expect and excuse that to a certain point.

[grollies]

49 minutes ago, pearciderman said:

 

How did you tell that he was a caucasian westerner from his post?

Due to the standard of his written English, sentance composition and structure and the fact he's lived in Thailand for two years which, maybe erroneously, I discounted the idea he was Thai.

 

He maybe a well-educated Thai ex-pat, Japanese, Chinese, African.....who knows?

 

Ah, well, I've just spotted he's Iranian so he's not farang but rather kaek kow (middle eastern).

 

In which case the op probably has an unrealistic expectation of civility from Thai with which I sympathise but you do have to learn to go with the flow old chap.

 

I hasten to add I have great respect for Iranian people, my Mum sheltered the daughter of the late Shah's secret police during the revolution.

 

 

[mauGR1]

12 minutes ago, poanoi said:

i'm not thai, i just dont want to talk with you or in any other way interact,

its not personal, i prefer to be left alone

and hope you would respect that and not hassle with me any more.

 

ed its mostly thais asking how i am,

i wish y'all just leave me alone,

why do you ask anyway ?

How are you today ?

[norrska]

8 minutes ago, afsheen said:

I had a feeling that some people like you would reply in this arrogant and conceited way to my thread before I wrote it, and now it’s confirmed.

 

what do you even get from being this arrogant? does talking bad to other people make you happy?

You are the one who is arrogant.  Why do you go to a foreign land and expect everyone to pander to your nonsense.  If you do not like it, go home!

[amexpat]

It's all a ritual like a handshake.  If I say "How are you?", I don't really want to hear about your hemorrhoids or allergies.

 

You are expected to reply "fine" or "ok" or some other benign words. And if you don't want to ask me the same - thank you, let's move on to something real. 

 

[grollies]

37 minutes ago, afsheen said:

why is it so hard for you thai people to be polite and ask the person in return “ im okay how about you? or just a simple “fine and you?”

How do you know he is Thai?

[amexpat]

15 minutes ago, norrska said:

Whoever wrote this knows nothing about foreign cultures outside his/her own.  Why would they expect that a stranger should provide them with an answer to this very personal question.  Go back to your country please and do not return!

Hey!  Sixteen posts before someone got told to go back to their home country!  That's pretty good for this forum. 

[grollies]

19 minutes ago, poanoi said:

i'm not thai, i just dont want to talk with you or in any other way interact,

its not personal, i prefer to be left alone

and hope you would respect that and not hassle with me any more.

 

ed its mostly thais asking how i am,

i wish y'all just leave me alone,

why do you ask anyway ?

'y'all'.....you're a Yank right?

[afsheen]

9 minutes ago, mauGR1 said:

Thanks, i have to say though, that if you chat online with unknown people, in a language that is not their own, you can expect and excuse that to a certain point.

Yeah though even when I asked them in thai language with Thai alfabet using google translate they still answered in this rude way often. 

 

And these were not stranger Thai girls on Facebook , it was from the tinder app that I started the conversation and tinder is a made for the purpose of making friends :/

[poanoi]

3 minutes ago, mauGR1 said:

How are you today ?

like every other day, i have pain, i'm past expire date, and wish i was dead,

that is the honest answer.

wouldnt it be better if y'all just kept your questions to yourself ?

and why even waste time on me ? i'm old, and blind freddy can see it

[mauGR1]

1 minute ago, grollies said:

How do you know he is Thai?

Psst.. He is a newbie, he doesn't know the demographic here.

For the OP,  Thais on TVF are like snowballs in h**l.

[poanoi]

1 minute ago, grollies said:

'y'all'.....you're a Yank right?

no, but i have spent a lot of time with yanks in thailand