Another Dumb Farang Question

[Tiesto]

I've met and fallen in love with a girl that had got married. I'm not telling the whole story as i'll get people telling me shes a bad girl leave her etc. But I just need to know some answers. I'm living in Thailand and shes recently moved to the uk with her new husband. She calls me all the time and tells me she needs to sort her self out. Shes got a 2 year visa, which I suppose once shes been with this guy she'll have a Brititsh passport after the 2 years! She tells me she cant just leave him and come abck as this will runin her chance of ever coming back to the uk with me. I'm not sure how true this is, as surely in all marriages if they dont work out, they dont work out. Simple. If she did come back before her 2 years were up in the uk, has this runined her chance of marrying me and coming back with me, shes told me shes made a big mistake.

Were would she stand if she did come back to Thailand? I know she'd have to get a divorce but has this runied her chance of coming back with me in the future? How easy can she get a divorce and how easy would it be for her to marry and do the same thing again? If she did come back before the 2 years surely this would prove shes not doing it for a passport but just like in alot of cases the marriage hasn't worked out? I'm just lost when she tells me she needs to sort herself out.

Thanks for any replys!

[newns.m]

hello Tiesto,

Firstly i would contact the British Embassy and clarify the situation regarding a teminated 2 year visa.

Another thing to do maybe is to go into one of the Visa shops in pattaya and question them on possibility of a second marriage visa to the Uk.

Thirdly,i'd be inclined to do something other than wait for her to get a passport,that cound take 3+ years.Think you have to be in the Uk for 3 years before applying and then a waiting list after application submited.That is a LONG time to hang around waiting?

Good luck anyway,hope it all works out for you.

martin

[dee123]

theres one born everyday!

[britmaveric]

Why did she marry the lad in the first place? Was she seeing you before she got married?

Anyways if she doesnt love her husband faire enough, she should pack it in and come home to thailand. Terminate the visa and get a divorce. Do things the proper way, anything less is pure deception and points to a character flaw of epic proportions.

[Tiesto]

Why did she marry the lad in the first place? Was she seeing you before she got married?

Anyways if she doesnt love her husband faire enough, she should pack it in and come home to thailand. Terminate the visa and get a divorce. Do things the proper way, anything less is pure deception and points to a character flaw of epic proportions.

Yes she was seein me before she got married, they'd been together a little while before we met, simliar story to alot of people. He needed to go back to the UK. I've turned up back packing from Australia, met, fell in love, moved in then he came back and had to move out. This was always there plan, and I had expected it. It hurt but I thought i'd have to move on, but she keeps telling me how she loves me and has made a mistake. I thought it was over once I knew she was coming to the UK, but we met up a couple of times before I headed back here. I just need to know what she needs to sort out, which is what shes telling me, shes telling shes trying to find ways round it, but I thought i'd get more sense out of people on here. No offence to her, but i'm not sure shes finding information from the right places!

If theres things I can do then great, i'll do them to help her. I love this girl and at the end of the day if she feels i'm interfering and find out information, then maybe shes pulling the wool over both our eyes. Either way, I need to know.

Its just the waiting around for answers, I can wait, but if i'm waiting for nothing whats the point! When she tells me to give her time she needs to sort herself out as she might come back here and not be able to come back to the uk if I ever want to go back, which I cant see myself staying in this great (but mad:) Country forever!

Thanks for your help and I know alot of people go through crap, but theres been no money involved, just grief for longer than expected. My mate tells me all Thai grils are bad in some way, but I really want to prove him wrong with her, because I feel shes just confused and will hate it if I think like him in a few months time!

Thanks again for your replys and anymore replys!

Edited January 29, 2007 by Tiesto

[oooooo]

Why did she marry the lad in the first place? Was she seeing you before she got married?

Anyways if she doesnt love her husband faire enough, she should pack it in and come home to thailand. Terminate the visa and get a divorce. Do things the proper way, anything less is pure deception and points to a character flaw of epic proportions.

Yes she was seein me before she got married, they'd been together a little while before we met, simliar story to alot of people. He needed to go back to the UK. I've turned up back packing from Australia, met, fell in love, moved in then he came back and had to move out. This was always there plan, and I had expected it. It hurt but I thought i'd have to move on, but she keeps telling me how she loves me and has made a mistake. I thought it was over once I knew she was coming to the UK, but we met up a couple of times before I headed back here. I just need to know what she needs to sort out, which is what shes telling me, shes telling shes trying to find ways round it, but I thought i'd get more sense out of people on here. No offence to her, but i'm not sure shes finding information from the right places!

If theres things I can do then great, i'll do them to help her. I love this girl and at the end of the day if she feels i'm interfering and find out information, then maybe shes pulling the wool over both our eyes. Either way, I need to know.

Its just the waiting around for answers, I can wait, but if i'm waiting for nothing whats the point! When she tells me to give her time she needs to sort herself out as she might come back here and not be able to come back to the uk if I ever want to go back, which I cant see myself staying in this great (but mad:) Country forever!

Thanks for your help and I know alot of people go through crap, but theres been no money involved, just grief for longer than expected. My mate tells me all Thai grils are bad in some way, but I really want to prove him wrong with her, because I feel shes just confused and will hate it if I think like him in a few months time!

Thanks again for your replys and anymore replys!

dont think too much just have fun!

[Jet Gorgon]

Two years. Hmm. You may meet and fall in love with someone else in that time. She might fall in love with her current husband. Stay on track with you life and work, and be prepared for the best and the worst, just in case. Good luck to you!

[Mighty Mouse]

She cheats on her boyfriend/husband behind his back to live with you. You assist her to cheat.

Now, she is using her marriage for personal gain. She wants a citizenship.

For the next two years she is going to string you along with her "I made a big mistake" story.

If you are stupid enough to swallow that, then you get all you deserve.

You are nothing more than her Plan B, just in case Plan A doesn't work out.

If Plan A works out for her, you would have wasted two years of your life sitting around and waiting for a cheating woman to make a decision.

Either move on or buy yourself a jumbo book of crossword puzzles.

[billaaa777]

LOL, its not a real post! Just trying to see how many people will actually respond to it!

[Mahout Angrit]

Presumably she has a settlement Visa for the UK. That means in order for her to get Indefinate Leave to remain in UK she would need to prove she is still in the same relationship, living together with her husband, competent in English language and pass a Life in UK test. She cannot apply for that until she has been in UK for 1 year and 11 months. If successful and she remains in Uk for another year she can apply for naturalisation which can take 6 months to be granted and then she can apply for a UK passport.

If she changed her mind and returned to Thailand before achieving ILR she would, as you say, be stating that she'd made a mistake and didn't want to remain in the UK under those circumstances. Her honesty would only go in her favour if she later applied after entering another relationship. There is just as much chance she could be successful in another application provided you as her sponsor measured up to the requirements.

However reading your posts I dont think honesty is important to her, she is thinking only of herself and what she wants to do (including when she was in the sack with you). So your wait could be 4 years if she's determined to get a British Passport with her husband, only you can decide if it's worth it. My guess is that if she has a wandering eye, it will wander while she is in the UK too where she'll have plenty of opportunity, if such is her nature.

I'm giving you the facts, I'll let others spell it out for you

[papaya9]

Haha. I know of 3 guys who went after married women, only to marry them (after their divorce) and have kids, and eventually have these women cheat on them, leave them and take half of everything they own. I wouldn't be telling you the truth if I didn't tell you that you're being stupid. Believe it or not, you're thinking with your cock. You'll be sorting yourself out for the rest of your life if you follow through with this woman of low moral fiber. For now, go beat yourself off and start looking for a decent woman! There are too many other (good) women in Bkk to be chasing after a whore by a different name.

Chokdee

Edited January 30, 2007 by papaya9

[STEELINOX]

Haha. I know of 3 guys who went after married women, only to marry them (after their divorce) and have kids, and eventually have these women cheat on them, leave them and take half of everything they own. I wouldn't be telling you the truth if I didn't tell you that you're being stupid. Believe it or not, you're thinking with your cock. You'll be sorting yourself out for the rest of your life if you follow through with this woman of low moral fiber. For now, go beat yourself off and start looking for a decent woman! There are too many other (good) women in Bkk to be chasing after a whore by a different name.

Chokdee

Thats tellin him - you go girl !

Thanks,

Randy

[November Rain]

Agree with Mahout Angrit. As far as British Immigration are concerned, they would value someone who came back to Thailand early, saying it didn't work far more than one who stayed and became naturalised through deception or false pretences. When I took my Thai BF back for a holiday, the one thing they impressed upon him was not to overstay, as they wouldn't give him a visa again if he did. They don't mind someone coming back earlier than expected!!

But, come on? The rest of her/your story??? You want to get saddled with this woman, it's your problem! And if her present shenanigans are any indication, she will be a problem.

[Sing_Sling]

Re-arrange the wording of this sentence:

day sucker a every there's born

[changhighlily]

Who do you think you are, James Bond

From Chang High Lily who never takes the Pilly

[PeaceBlondie]

Maybe you love her, but she doesn't love you. She is dishonest, a cheater, and a manipulator. If you want trouble and grief, she can give it to you.

She could have married you in the first place, and she chose the other man.

Up to you.

If your posts are serious, they shouldn't be!

[Jimjim]

Instead of contemplating how it's going to work with you and her, you should be contemplating how to get over her and move on. This whole scenario is bad news for you. She is an unfaithful person. She wants to be with you but is married? She essentially had at least two boyfriends at the same time. What makes you think if she married you she would be any different? Don't be affected by your misguided love.

She's a love scammer.

Edited January 30, 2007 by Jimjim

[Etrigan]

I have a solution for both you idiots: You call the husband in the UK and tell him what you have told us, then get your little married two timing b***h to back up your sad story.

She gets kicked out, you get burnt, and you can live happily ever after knowing that you TOTALLY DESTROYED ANOTHER MAN'S LIFE.

You are one sick <deleted>.

[t.s]

I have a solution for both you idiots: You call the husband in the UK and tell him what you have told us, then get your little married two timing b***h to back up your sad story.

She gets kicked out, you get burnt, and you can live happily ever after knowing that you TOTALLY DESTROYED ANOTHER MAN'S LIFE.

You are one sick <deleted>.

russ, your horn is showing. when were you cuckolded?

OP

I had a girlfriend for about 7 years in Bkk who always had a boyfriend. She was very forthright about her intentions: the boyfriend was her security and i was entertainment and emotional support. She never once asked me for money in all that time.

Occasionally she would disapper and i would not see her. I knew at that point she had been dumped or was single. Once she was safely in another relationship i would hear from her again.

in that time i think she had three different boyfirends and she would agonise over whether of not they would prove stable. To my knowlede other than her infidelities with me, she was faithful to all of the men.

we tried once to make a go of it as a couple, but it simply didn't work. we had very different expectations from each other and soon reverted back to the old ways. eventually she found someone she felt secure with and all of us became freinds. we are still in contact.

perhaps you give her something she needs now, but if she thought you were the one she would be with you already.

you are simply a crutch. enjoy her company while you can, but once she is secure, she wont need you anymore.

[Scott]

It sounds to me like you have 2 years to sort yourself out. I suggest you make good use of that time. Change your phone number, address and take a couple of years well away from her.

[PhilHarries]

you lady or going to hate me for this 1 im dateign 3 girls now 1 from japan 1 and 2 or from thaialand o hear it come big slap in face for being a play boy let me teal you trust is hard im 100% honest i never cheat all 3 know echother well what im saying is why not you and her new husban share her why do it just got be us guy that its ok to do to girls

so do not get angry with me 4 years with 2 the girls and 1 year with my new thai gf but i think this post is a joke post im not hear to joke

now waht you think aboute me now

Translation please, pretty well any one of the modern terrestial languages will do.

[Etrigan]

DNK - Buy a dictionary mate, first look up the word "marriage" because you are obviously CLUELESS about it's meaning, then use the dictionary to fix every single word that you wrote above.

This isn't about having multiple partners who all know up front, this is about some backpacker scum attempting to commit adultery with another man's wife. And that's not a joke, it's not even funny. How would you feel if this guy was trying to tear your parents apart? You would whistle a very different tune now, wouldn't you?

[Momo8]

Er how do you communicate with those girls if we can't figure out what you're trying to tell us in your post.

[Acquiesce]

Er how do you communicate with those girls if we can't figure out what you're trying to tell us in your post.

I just read his other posts, very strange.

[Little Black Duck]

This has TROLL written all over it..

If you are for real pal, as I see it 60 mil people in LOS..

30 Mil women..gotta be 10mil available ones at least..

You gotta poach someone elses..GET A LIFE....

[GuestHouse]

I think you should do the decent thing and pass her on to someone else in the UK. Your are surrounded by Thai women, why not let some guy who only gets to Thailand once a year have a chance.

Bad girl?

Not at all, at least she told you she was married.

[kmart]

you lady or going to hate me for this 1 im dateign 3 girls now 1 from japan 1 and 2 or from thaialand o hear it come big slap in face for being a play boy let me teal you trust is hard im 100% honest i never cheat all 3 know echother well what im saying is why not you and her new husban share her why do it just got be us guy that its ok to do to girls

so do not get angry with me 4 years with 2 the girls and 1 year with my new thai gf but i think this post is a joke post im not hear to joke

now waht you think aboute me now

Translation please, pretty well any one of the modern terrestial languages will do.

Let me talk to him. I speak fluent gibberish in 3 dialects. And phone text too.

On second thoughts, <deleted> him. Its another troll.

[Momo8]

"Merda Taurorum Animas Conturbit"! translated it means "Bullshit Baffles the Brain". Maybe the Moderators should consider starting a "Relationships" forum where all this rubbish about cheating,dating in Thailand,girls only want money,farang guys are just sleeze bags and pissheads, etc. etc. etc.could go. As for my reply to the original post: Get your copy of "Sex for Dummies" or "How NOT to Fall For Cheating Wives and Get a Grip on REALITY".

DNK most people myself included can't understand African-American street talk which is what I'm assuming you are trying to speak.Sorry to offend you just simple English will suffice.

Edited January 30, 2007 by Momo8

[Acquiesce]

no trol just jokeing thats all not tru ima good boy

[PeaceBlondie]

It sounds to me like you have 2 years to sort yourself out. I suggest you make good use of that time. Change your phone number, address and take a couple of years well away from her.

That's probably the best advice so far. Just walk away and don't look back. If you try to hold on to her, you're easily manipulated. You have to learn to not be dependent on people who use you, and who fool you into thinking that you're using them.