The week that was in Thailand news: Jobs for the boys

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: Jobs for the boys

 

 

The sight of a bunch of Sakon Nakhon hairdressers complaining that their profession should be one reserved for Thai people sent me into an almost uncontrollable reverie of nostalgia.

 

Remembering my own jobs over the last 35 years in the kingdom was certainly at the forefront of those thoughts. Some have been what the local population would struggle to do while others have been the complete opposite.

 

Arriving in Bangkok in the early 1980s and deciding to seek work caused me to take a trip to the offices of the Bangkok Post seeing as I was already a qualified UK journalist.

 

Strike one – the salary seemed not enough to keep a flea alive let alone keep my female friends in Patpong in the manner to which their boyfriends had become accustomed.

 

So I turned to that tried and tested method of a thousand backpackers before me – teaching! I proved to be half decent not least because that in the previous few years travelling I had given hundreds of hours of impromptu free lessons across the rest of Asia.

 

I started in earnest at a language school run by an Australian and his Liverpudlian sidekick who employed me principally to write educational materials for hotel and department store staff.

 

The school was then raided and shut down after a disgruntled wife had us reported to immigration.

 

I was out at the time so avoided arrest and remained quite gruntled (yes, that is a word meaning to be in good humor). My British colleague who had no passport was jailed for Christmas and while in the holding cell at Suan Phlu handed over his list of Japanese students.

 

I repaid with some cold cuts from the Regent for his Christmas dinner.

 

After six weeks he was obliged to return to the UK and regroup. He is now a Thai citizen while I am just a resident so there is a lesson there somewhere!

 

Meanwhile with no middlemen to take half my wedge I started earning around 40,000 baht a month in 1986 – a tidy sum at that time that even enabled a move to Sukhumvit Soi 39 to an Indian owned apartment.

 

For the next eight years in Bangkok I carved out a niche teaching English to bored Japanese housewives and their under-pressure-to-succeed children. I also taught English to their fathers, the ‘salarymen’, who usually preferred to learn Thai from me to help with their bits on the side at Thaniya cocktail lounges where most of their business was conducted.

 

In reality I acquired more Japanese than my students learnt English and the on the job teacher training helped in my future aspirations.

 

But as lovely as Izumi-chan was, and as tolerable as Tomohiko-kun remained, when my own kids came along I feared for their education so I decided to try and get into an international school. In 1994 I started work as a Thai teacher in Bang Na.

 

Now – like the north eastern hairdressers getting their curlers in a twist this week – this would seem like a job that should be reserved for Thais. Undaunted, I figured I could do it better and that is what I told the headmaster who hired me along with all that stuff about contributing to the wider world of the school and holistic this and that.

 

As a farang teaching Thai I became one of a rare breed but I had some distinct advantages even if my tones and my syntax were not always perfect. Parents would listen to me – and nobody, not from the highest hi-so to the most jealous expat teacher, could ever get one over on me!

 

A mixture of toeragged-ness imbued with cleverness and an ample dose of skullduggery meant I survived my first job.

 

When the Thai education minister came for lunch I was told to make myself scarce as my work permit said I taught Maths. Despite stepping on his toe when he passed a corner unexpectedly all went swimmingly.

 

Four years later knowledge of my approach to Thai teaching – both to Thai children and foreigners – reached the ears of a man who gave me a big chance to head a Thai department at a new school and so the next 15 years were set fair.

 

Not surprisingly these days when I meet Thai people who tell me they are English tutors, they get a very fair hearing and more than a little advice based on my own albeit skew-whiffed history in the Thai labor market.

 

And equally unsurprisingly I find the idea of the hairdressers’ protectionism and that of countless others quite ludicrous. I am a great believer in free markets and breaking down borders; Brexit made me sick to the pit of my stomach and that of my grown up children who prefer Canary Wharf and Brixton to downtown Krung Thep.

 

On Thaivisa this week, perhaps like any other, it seemed like one of contrasting emotions. Furious at the ineptitude and false promises one minute, enlightened and gratified by the positive nature of people the next. And both Thais and visitors to the kingdom played their part in the parade.

 

Topping the list of positivity was Ron Floyd the aging Oklahoman who was featured on YouTube after discovering Thailand in his seventies.

 

Despite his apprehensiveness he seemed like a man that had been given a whole new lease on life after bereavement.

 

While Rooster discovered the pleasures of Siam 52 years younger I have nothing but respect for Mr Floyd and the bloggers who helped him on his travels; as the story on Thaivisa said, Ron made a better Thailand spokesman than anyone at the TAT.

 

Less likeable are those bloody mongrels in the streets – not the junta. I shall get onto them in a minute.

 

No, these are the canine pests that inhabit the sois of the cities and blight just about everywhere in the countryside. In one part of Thailand two Pitbulls had got out and though they had reduced the soi dog population in their biting savagery, a child would probably be next.

 

Why is it that their irresponsible owners always say how wonderful they are with kids and they wouldn’t hurt a fly?

 

Then in Chonburi we had the incongruous sight of a farang with a T-shirt that read “List of people I like….1. Dogs”.

 

This guy, maybe Baines rather than Benz but certainly not Brains, was pampering a four-legged 7/11 resident – they love the air-con – after some motorcycle taxi guy had whacked it.

 

Seemed reasonable – better than German tourists after all.

 

Of course, publically suggesting canine euthanasia in Asia is tantamount to treason but I do wish the authorities would stop protecting them more than people and reclaim some areas for homo saps.

 

Personally I wouldn’t mind if they were cats. It was reported this week that felines in Bangkok were not pulling their weight in the rat catching department. Apparently there are a million rodents running ragged because cats have been fed too much Whiskas and the authorities have relocated 5,500 pythons and water monitors to inactive posts in Khao Yai.

 

Such a large number of serpents and “tua hia” would have eaten 600,000 rats in the last year and a half, we were told by an expert.

 

Which gave me an idea – could the pythons not be left alone and trained to eat dogs as a main course accompanied by a bit of rat-a-touille?

 

Never more than a long arm away from the news – and often stretched out to receive their salaries at checkpoints – were the rozzers of the realm.

 

Among their pronouncements this week was a recommendation that drunk drivers’ fines should be increased from 10,000 baht to 200,000. This is the language that Orwell might have called ‘CopSpeak’ and means that backhanders will increase up to 50K.

 

It was no surprise that increases in jail time were not on the reform committee’s agenda as who in the hell could possibly benefit from that!

 

However, I do accept that drink driving is one of the biggest scourges and is partly responsible for the appalling carnage. But it is only at number 3 in the Hit Parade.

 

One and two – in any order you like – go to the people themselves for their lawlessness and lack of driving skill and the RTP and their political overlords for the scandalous lack of enforcement of the least read book in Thailand – The Highway Code.  

 

Hardly a day goes by in which Tourist Police Bureau deputy commissioner Surachet “Big Joke” Hakpal is out of the spotlight.

 

This week it was announced that the photogenic Major General was a victim himself after a Bangkok man impersonated him on the Line application in order to offer promotions for a price to aspiring, hands-on (the cash) policemen.

 

Hilariously, we were told that the miscreant has “knowledge of police operations” while one officer who paid a million baht for his promotion would have got it anyway.

 

And equally amusingly, while Surachet was sending the guilty party down very little mention was made of those half a dozen cops who had paid to be promoted.

 

The corruption is so endemic that everyone seemed to have forgotten about that minor matter!

 

Smelling as much of protectionism as the hairdressers are the hotels of the kingdom as the fallout from the “AirBnB” letting story continued.

 

While it is perfectly understandable that condo owners would not want their common areas and swimming pools sullied by uninvited one night standers, the real reason that the story is gaining prominence is not because of THEIR grievances but those of the hotel industry.

 

Of course it is not just AirBnB but the US firm’s high profile makes them an easy target. Having had some dealings with them myself I would say that they are a lovely company…….when they are taking your money.

 

If something goes wrong and they are required to rectify it they have the largest “Tumbleweed Department” in the industry. I wouldn’t use them ever again even if it was legal!

 

Despite draconian threats it is gratifying to see that the fastest rising sport among the Thai public and the media currently is Junta Bashing. What a pity that Big Joke hasn’t thought of arresting them on “overstay”.

 

The fourth anniversary of their tenure was met with a barrage of criticism and Khaosod bravely reported on their attempts to stifle dissent at various demonstrations in Bangkok.

 

We are in for what the Americans might say will be a doozy of a coming year. In fact in terms of the effect it will have on the lives of the residents of the Kingdom it will probably make Drumpf’s spats with Kim about as relevant as a storm drain in a teacup.

 

Sticking it up the Junta’s Humper this week was also the Nation who suggested that Education Reform (ER) was going precisely nowhere.

 

“ER” has been an emergency for about 70 years in Thailand not just since 2014.

 

I had to agree with poster “ChidlomDweller” who expressed their boredom with the tedious rhetoric surrounding the issue, the lack of any worthwhile developments and the endless forming of pointless committees spouting unintelligible buzzwords.

 

Virtually everything ignores the children in the classes as “Chidlom” described it best in my abridged Quote of the Week about the real nature of the problem: “Deference bordering on the religious to higher-ups”.

 

How true, perhaps because that is one of the ONLY things they actually learned in Thai school…

 

Finally, with the impending political upheaval threatening to disrupt public life and possibly cause many of us to have to stay at home in our dotage, comes some welcome news that it may be tolerable to do so.

 

The slow process towards the decriminalization of Mary Jane, and possibly one day the acceptance of recreational fraternization with her, has to be welcome by anyone with half a brain.

 

Add to that some serious and useful education about the perils of tobacco, alcohol and Ya Ba and the authorities could really be on a winner.

 

Putting some serious smiles back in the land thereof.   

 

Rooster

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2018-05-26

[gamini]

yawn!  

[Megasin1]

1 hour ago, gamini said:

yawn!  

I gotta agree with you on this one, poor old Rooster seems to be repeating himself a lot lately. If he kept the historical school references down to once every 8 posts he could still keep his memories alive without boring us to death.

[glen1]

Maybe cos Im not a regular reader but I think this is really well written and nicely balanced. 9 out of 10!!

 

[Andrew Dwyer]

58 minutes ago, Megasin1 said:

I gotta agree with you on this one, poor old Rooster seems to be repeating himself a lot lately. If he kept the historical school references down to once every 8 posts he could still keep his memories alive without boring us to death.

I always enjoy Roosters Sunday morning summary of the week and usually like or make a quote to that effect .

 

BUT, on this occasion I have to agree with Gamini and Mega !!

Seems like it must have been a slow news week and caused old Rooster to take another trip down memory lane with tales of his past.

 

Not enough humour or relevant material this week Rooster !!

 

4/10. Must try harder !!

[harleyclarkey]

2 hours ago, gamini said:

yawn! 

 

1 hour ago, Megasin1 said:

I gotta agree with you on this one, poor old Rooster seems to be repeating himself a lot lately. If he kept the historical school references down to once every 8 posts he could still keep his memories alive without boring us to death.

Perhaps you chaps might take the time to show us what a great story you could write every week?? 

[Cadbury]

20 hours ago, rooster59 said:

The week that was in Thailand news: Jobs for the boys

Misleading headline for starters. Judging by appearances the "boys" looked to be more like hairdressing "girls"; but I supposed sometimes one can never be sure. 

Also misleading in another sense. "Jobs for the boys" ........and here was I expecting a juicy story about the predictable underhand practices of politicians and senior civil servants and how they look after family and friends with well paid government jobs. But not to be.

I got down to the second paragraph before realising I had been duped and the story was shaping up as nothing more than a chronicle of Rooster's distant memories and other matters of dismal interest. At that point I gave up.

 

[off road pat]

2 hours ago, Megasin1 said:

I gotta agree with you on this one, poor old Rooster seems to be repeating himself a lot lately. If he kept the historical school references down to once every 8 posts he could still keep his memories alive without boring us to death.

Got to agree with you,. So well said too.

[Cadbury]

5 hours ago, harleyclarkey said:

 

Perhaps you chaps might take the time to show us what a great story you could write every week?? 

Us chaps are very appreciative of your contribution. So this is your story for the week? Great work and riveting reading. The bonus was that it was very short.

Can we look forward to more of your greater literary masterpieces?

It is not so much about what is written, it is more about what is not worth reading.

 

Edited May 27, 2018 by Cadbury

[Mad mick]

What a rant 

[mikebell]

18 hours ago, harleyclarkey said:

 

Perhaps you chaps might take the time to show us what a great story you could write every week?? 

I'd love to be given a chance.  I have written two Thai based anthologies whilst contributing professionally to three local publications.

[mikebell]

Here's a sample

 

Farangs

 

There are generally two types of farang living in Pattaya: ex-pats and tourists.  Both sorts provide the capital necessary to perpetuate its very existence.  Naturally I support the ex-pats (along with an unspecified number of single mums).  I resent the tourists who come over here with their money and their youth, pushing my nose out.

They are only here for a fortnight yet bring enough money for two months.  They don’t understand tipping, baht buses or the future.  One day, if they are lucky, they might retire here and then they will reap the harvest they have sown: 10% minimum expected after every meal; 50 or 100 baht on a bus, (check out Phuket before you scoff); I shudder to put a figure on bar-fines.

 

All of this is bad for us residents.  The good news is that they are only here for an ever shortening high season as Thailand refuses to compete with Cambodia or Vietnam for tourist dollars.  I would, therefore, like to offer some words of advice to bar owners and other service providers.  The fact that we have upped sticks to move here means we are mobile and could go else where if the climate is right, taking our pensions with us.

 

It is with inordinate pleasure that I can write that at the age of 75, I have still not tired of sitting with a pretty, young lady who helps me drink faster than I would normally.  Naturally I will buy her a drink.  And here is rule number 1.  My son was hired to turn around the fortunes of an ailing bar.  He instigated a simple maxim: No farang drinks alone.  Within two months, he had more than doubled the takings.  I have gone into bars, especially go-go ones, desperate for what we euphemistically call ‘attention’.  I have sat nursing an over-priced beer, smiling wildly at groups of semi clad girls sat gossiping in a corner.  At last one will deign to saunter over and grace you with her captivating presence.  Within two minutes of buying her a drink, she leans over and murmurs those memorable and infuriating little words, ‘I go dancing now.’

 

More than one mamasan has had her ear bent and the girly drink sent back.  We are paying over a hundred baht for their company, not for dilute diet coke. The very unsatisfied customer drinks up and takes his custom elsewhere, vowing never to return.  He always does, of course, eventually - a major curse of my age group is short term memory loss.  Girls frequently shout that old ploy, ‘Hello, handsome man, you forget me already?’  Well yes, a minute after leaving the bar. The odd girl has been known to lie and has never seen you before or, as all farang look alike, they think they remember you.  The result of this false memory is the customer turns back desperately trying to recall her name and her various peccadilloes.  Incidentally have you noticed during High Season they stop shouting ‘Handsome man’ and revert to ‘Granddad?’

 

I suspect, not being a go-go bar owner, the biggest source of income is from bar fines.  This is supposedly to compensate them for the loss of potential earnings whilst the girl is away short time.  At five or six hundred baht a throw, she’d have to guzzle an awful lot of sugared water to bring in that kind of money.  So why is it that just as negotiations are at a delicate point, her number comes up and off she goes dancing, leaving you with rapidly cooling ardour and such.  Surely if a customer is buying her a drink and getting to know her, she should be given time to work her magic.  This has happened to me where I’ve been the ONLY customer!

 

A big tip to girls who wish to build up a regular clientele base; watch what you eat.  I am not fattist and am rather partial to a girl with cuddly proportions as opposed to those with inflatable bras.  I recently gave up smoking partly for health reasons; if you are drawing a pension, it’s your duty to draw it long as possible and partly because I empathised with the non-smoking girls who were having nicotine-flavoured breath exhaled over them.  By the same stretch, I’ve left many a girl prematurely when I catch the lovely garlic perfume of Som Tam.  More and more girls are sucking mints and chewing gum which is a step in the right direction at least.

 

As the customer gets older, some of his faculties start to fade.  Thankfully the purple pill has alleviated the ultimate faculty failing but there are others: eyesight, for one.  I once ogled a girl till closing time.  When the lights went on, I realised it was not a girl after all!  When they bring your check bin and you can’t read it in the half-light, you are reliant on your new friend.  How we laughed when she misread 240 as two thousand and forty!  Hearing is another failing faculty.  We all know that the ‘music’ in go-go bars is designed to kill the art of conversation and, for that matter, dancing, but sometimes it is deafening to the already partly deaf.  There have been frequent misunderstandings: in certain circumstances, ‘No I’m not buying you another drink as I’m moving country to somewhere cheaper like the UK’ can sound like ‘OK, just one more.’

 

Language acquisition is vitally important in the clinching of business deals.  I appreciate the need for a regular influx of girls from up-country but surely there should be some basic skills required to pass the ‘interview’?  I am always amazed at the rapid rate of progress in English among the girls of soi 6.  After ‘passing up’ on a girl with no English, within a month she is rattling off the basics.  This is solely down to her sisters; there is no input from the bar owner.  My son taught his girls a basic script.  It began with ‘What is your name & where do you come from’ through to ‘300 for the room and 500 for the lady.’  The clincher in the deal was the girl’s ability to say ‘You have a nice smile/kind face/firm stomach/big muscles.’  The customer feels personalised and not just a walking wallet.

 

The ex-pat community in Pattaya is highly organised and there are many forms of alternative excitement.  On Mondays and Wednesdays there are Quiz leagues; on Mondays and Thursdays, Pool leagues.  There are nights for Darts, 10 pin bowling and such.  It follows that on these nights there are many more farangs tottering the sois, blinking dazedly at the lights after days of staring at a computer screen playing Spider Solitaire.  These are peak nights for bar owners and soi 6 so should be embraced as such.  (In my limited experience much embracing goes on at the latter venue.)

 

Those bar owners with teams know that upwards of twenty customers will flood in on league nights.  The successful bar owners cosset their teams – Happy Hour prices, free food, and extra serving wenches with loose fitting bodices and short skirts that sway as they move and then …..Where was I?  I seem to have lost my thread amongst other things.  What day is it?  How long till Monday?

[Stargeezr]

A long read, covering the week and beyond into the past. Nothing at all wrong with

that. Thanks.

[UnkleGoooose]

Agonizing lefty drivel. Exhausting.